#poly resources

My boyfriend wants me to only date other women, but I’m straight. What do I do? Seriously. This is what some men "offer” to their straight female partners. Either way, people often post about it because they want to know if it’s a common setup. Yes. Yes, it is. But I believe it’s also very problematic. Why? Instead of write about it myself, I’m going to share FIVE different links all on the same topic. There are a couple of major problems with the concept, actually, trans-exclusion being a big one. But even assuming the so-called OPP (One Penis Policy) isn’t actually refering to genitals but is about gender identity (dating men vs women), it comes down to this very simple, very misogynistic concept: GIRLS DON’T COUNT. Here are some wonderful links I’ve found on that topic. (Please be forewarned that there’s a lot of NSFW content in them, because a lot of this topic is specifically about sex.) Against One Penis Policies: http://the-orbit.net/brutereason/2016/04/04/one-penis-policies/ The One Penis Policy: https://www.multiamory.com/blog-archive/the-one-penis-policy Five Problems with the One Penis Policy: https://polypretzels.wordpress.com/2016/03/11/one-penis-policy/ One Penis Policies, or How Girls Don’t Count: http://joreth.livejournal.com/352198.html Girls Don’t Count (beautifully written prose): http://thoughtcatalog.com/gaby-dunn/2013/01/girls-dont-count/ One final thing I’ll mention. In online conversations on this topic, a lot of women will defend their relationship’s OPP by saying “But I’m genuinely fine with it! I don’t want to date other men, so why is that a problem?” The answer: it isn’t a problem. But if it’s truly your autonomous choice, what is the reason for calling it a policy? 

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Fraught Intimacies: Non/Monogamy in the Public Sphere [link]

Reddit Community Support: r/polyamory [link]

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