#polish nt

You have lived alone ever since your last relationship ended. Some people might say its depressing, the way you refuse to share the space with anyone, closing yourself off to the possibility of companionship this early in your life. You would usually, quietly to yourself, list off the reasons why it makes sense to you - the unwillingness to lean into the thought of letting anyone else occupy your home like he had. Truth be told after your ex, “Mr. Big” as you and your girlfriends had dubbed him weeks into dating as a homage to the main love interest in Sex & The City, the mere thought of letting another man close, to trust him with your heart, makes you recoil in disgust.

That is of course until you met Matty. Sweet, caring and considerate Matty. When you met Matty you finally felt like you were able to let out a breath you had been holding in for years. Being with him is easy. The two of you fit like puzzle pieces, carved for each other. He never makes you feel like you are not doing enough, respects your time, cheers you on when work gets hard and always celebrates your wins. Even when the two of you fight the anger rolls off your heart like water off a duck's back. After an argument he brings you into his chest never daring to leave when either of you are angry. He knows love doesn't come easy to you so he is patient. Seeing his eyes follow you carefully whenever he asks you something is one of the things that made you fall for him. You never worry about turning him down, he never takes it wrong. 

“I'll ask again at a later date,” he always says, not letting you dwell on it or worry “Don't worry. I'll always wait for you, love.”

The way his eyes glisten and his voice is calm, the kiss and hug that always follows solidifies that he means it. The butterflies in your stomach on the other hand solidify that next time you might not turn him down. It took Matty five tries to get you to move in with him. He asked you, you turned him down, and he waited, and he would still be  back two months later to ask you again every time. 

Now as you set down the last box in the living room you thank your lucky stars for finding him, for him being so patient, so trusting. You look at him, white t-shirt clinging to his chest with sweat from carrying boxes around all day in the summer heat. His hair is tousled from him pushing it back all day to keep it out of his eyes. Seeing him here, in your shared home makes tears well up in your eyes, for the first time in a very long time you feel like everything is good. And somehow you fall in love with him all over again.

You turn on the record player smiling at Matty,your boyfriend walking towards him swaying your hips to the rhythm until you are safe in his arms. The music plays in the background and the two of you begin to sway to the slow beat of the music. You smile up at him, taking in the way his eyes glisten in the golden light seeping in through the window of your apartment. There is a stray piece of hair hanging from his pushed back hair, making you smile. The moment feels perfect, you let yourself get lost in the way everything feels mundane. Like there is no one else in the world but the two of you on a Tuesday. You rub your hands on his broad shoulders, feeling his muscles tense under your touch. You grin looking in his eyes once more. In your peripheral you see his hand come up to touch your cheek and you flinch.