#pointless post

Since season two is coming out, I thought we could take a moment to talk about how the show’s being promoted, yeah? Let’s dive in.

I’m not really someone who gets too invested in other people’s headcanons or ships. Usually, I form my own opinion and play around with that. I don’t like judging or criticizing other people’s tastes — so please don’t take this as me attacking anyone’s preferences.

Alright, first off — let’s talk about Alastor and Lucifer. I can’t help noticing how much the creator keeps pushing these two to be constantly associated with each other. And I just have to ask… why? I don’t have anything against people who think they’re cute together, or against the creator herself, who clearly ships them. But honestly, what do they even have in common?

Let’s be real — their philosophies, tastes, and interests couldn’t be more different. Lucifer is literally the reason Alastor ended up in Hell (since he’s the one who gave Adam and Eve the fruit of evil and doomed humanity). So at best, Alastor could either hate him or be grateful if he happens to like Hell. On top of that, Lucifer despises sinners — he finds them pathetic and disgusting — and Alastor is a sinner. There’s nothing connecting them except for Charlie, and even then, it’s in completely different ways.

Also, Alastor is way younger than Charlie — practically a kid compared to Lucifer. Charlie is about 200 years old, while Alastor is maybe around 100 at most. So if anything, Charlie could be his mom, not the other way around. So why all this emphasis on those two? Why act like there’s some kind of rivalry that, realistically, should exist between Lucifer and Adam, or between Alastor and Vox? Alastor and Lucifer don’t even have a shared past. Lucifer is way out of Alastor’s league — he could never even dream of actually confronting him (especially since he lost miserably to Adam, who was clearly weaker than Lucifer).

Seriously, what do they share? That they both look elegant? Because, let’s face it, Alastor doesn’t really care about being Charlie’s father. Besides, she’s twice his age — she was already an adult before he was even born. That whole scene was clearly just him messing with Lucifer, probably because he took a random dislike to him. There’s nothing real between them — they’d never met before, and they have completely different interests.

And what’s with all the “duck season” / “deer season” jokes, as if they’ve been lifelong rivals? Why did Vivienne shift the rivalry from Alastor and Vox to Alastor and Lucifer? It actually makes sense between the Radio Demon and the TV Demon — they lived around the same era, both represent big media, both love entertainment, they even share a similar vibe (one’s dressed like a 1920s dandy, the other like a 1940s showman, rather than a circus ringleader like Lucifer). Vox and Alastor both love putting on a show, performing, they’re into similar things like cinema, they both lived through early 1900s pop culture, they worked together, were friends, have a shared history, both enjoy a good rivalry, both use radio waves as weapons, and they can actually fight on fairly equal terms — unlike Lucifer, who’s just way above everyone else.