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As she lies in the dark, she talks to God. About all the things that weigh down her heart while looking at the same stars she used to wish upon. Oh, how much things have changed from childhood to now...from a girl to a woman. Yet, still...she sits at her father's feet, pouring herself out.
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I realised that if we didn’t end together, it was our own choice . Not anyone’s fault or mistake nor was it fate....It’s just that you didn’t choose me over some things in your life, that mattered to you more. That’s understandable & I respect you for that.
~what I should have said
sara bareilles, “she used to be mine” // jesse eisenberg, the double // “the archer,” taylor swift // franz kafka, letters to milena // [x], @poeticsuggestions
this is inspired by @poeticsuggestions cow gfs :)
Cafe
Hungered, we sat in the back of a café. Conversing over bagels and slow jams, we sat with coffee mugs covering smiles and napkins hiding outbursts of laughter.
Strangers watched from afar, noticing the crumbs of our conversations. Losing track of time, the world grew dark while we explored our differences.
The barista blushed as we mixed our cream and sugar with fascinations of hot chocolate-filled comforts and home-style hospitality.
Abandoning our table at closing, we scurried onto the frigid streets. Standing amidst the city lights, we vowed to meet again.
Before the stars left, our eyes and lips grew acquainted; we said goodnight. Forever changed, yearning for another moment in paradise.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Smoke
She stands tall, glaring at the world. She inhales her addiction without a thought, searching for calm. "God help me," she pleads over the staticky rasp of the radio. She lets go of everything in the cool morning wind, as fall approaches like an old friend. It's that time again—a time she knows too well. "Father, forgive me for my sins," she cries.
Same station, same tunes. She grooves, watering plants while pruning her heart with prayer. Wanting to be unbothered by the heat of the situation, but anxiety leaves her chilled. Change is in the air. Exhaling past shame and guilt, embracing dawn's new mercies. A small "amen" escapes her lips as she finds courage and sweet redemption within a cup of coffee.
Watching the sun rise over apartment complexes, the soundtrack of the city's gospel and her neighbors’ testimonies fill the air. It's all too familiar. Remembering the history, she's brought back to herself. Sitting in stillness, covered in ash, she flicks her worries to the wind, only to find another fire waiting to be put out before the day begins.
I'm in need of something. I'm not sure exactly what it is. But there's a craving for it—a need to experience what it could bring. There's a desire for it. It's so close but still so far away. I can feel it. I can sense it. I can hear it. I'm just not sure of its name. It is everything I need in the moment and everything I want in the future. It is everything I could ask for, but none of the things I thought were vital. I changed from being in its presence to just wanting to be engulfed by it entirely. It doesn't make sense to most, but to me, I finally understand. A healthy love will scare you, have you run for the hills, and leave you to examine yourself before figuring out your need to return. This is an experience worth losing yourself and your pride for. I'm just happy to learn that without complications and repercussions.
I remember being told I must arrive at my sacred space. Only I will know when and where I am supposed to be. That those I meet along my journey there will teach me great things. That my only mission is to become who I'm supposed to be. I was born for this mission. With love, I was nurtured on this path. I've had many firsts here. I've taken many wins and losses. Ten years ago, I learned how to walk into rooms confidently. Smile on my face, head up, shoulder back, walking confidently in my stride. Twenty years ago, I learned how to capture the hearts of those I encountered. Allowing honesty to set my pace, having a mix of kindness escape my lips, and open intellect to express my thoughts while positive vibrations set my vibe. Thirty years ago, I learned how to embrace and release all that I experienced. Operating in divine feminine nature, intuned with my emotions, led by a God's spirit, and blessed with ancient wisdom and intuition - I became human. And I'm beyond delighted to continue learning in this place...This beautiful place.
