#pocotippy

It only occurred to him a moment after that not lecturing his cat would be far less suspicious than what he had done. He cleared his throat again and gave his full attention to the agent who had walked in. A low level agent, didn’t even have clearance to be on the floor most of the time. Fury relaxed infinitesimally. An agent like that one wouldn’t dare say a word against Fury, no matter what he had walked in on.

That was close.

-

Take a moment to imagine how Fury felt when he walked into his office and noticed Agent Maria Hill sitting on his chair with Goose in her lap. His initial outrage at an unannounced intruder quickly devolved into panic as he slammed his door shut. Maria Hill was not one to be startled, merely raising her head calmly to look him in the eye. Goose must have softened her up, because she even gave him a smile.

“Fury,” she said pleasantly. He watched in dumbstruck awe as Goose leaned in toward Agent Hill and brushed up against her stomach. Hill merely reached a hand down and pet the cat with one hand, still looking Fury in the eye. She looked the part of an evil villain.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to enter my office, Hill,” Fury barked as he eyed the cat suspiciously. Any moment, he thought, and that cat could kill Agent Hill.

“I don’t recall asking, Sir,” she responded smoothly. “But there’s a mission update I thought you should hear in person.” She picked up a file and held it out for Fury, but he just took it from her and put it back down.

“I would appreciate it if you would put the cat down,” he told her plainly. He hoped she wasn’t keen enough to notice him sweating.  Maria raised an eyebrow at him and went to move the cat, but the traitor flerken instead climbed up to her shoulder, forcing the agent to tilt her head away to give it room to sit. As the cat leaned in toward her face, Fury couldn’t help the bark that escaped his mouth as he shouted “No! Don’t eat—” Fury cut off abruptly.

Maria’s eyes widened in surprise. The cat harmlessly licked her cheek and then leaned its head on her shoulder. Fury could feel his cheeks heating up. He cleared his throat.

“My apologies, Agent Hill. My cat has a tendency to … bite. Again, I’d appreciate it if you would put it down,” he said stiffly. He gave the cat the most suspicious glare he could muster.

Hill made a sound that almost sounded like a chuckle as she picked the cat up from her shoulder and lowered it to the floor. “I’m an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., Fury. I believe I can handle Goose. And besides, she has been nothing but kind since I entered your office. To business then?”

Maria Hill glanced up from the cat to Fury. The second her gaze was off the cat, Goose opened its mouth to expose several tentacles toward Fury. Hill made a sound and looked down at the flurken abruptly, but by then the tentacles were carefully hidden away again. Not a flurken, but a cat. An ordinary housecat as far as Maria Hill could see.

“I thought I saw …” Hill began, giving Fury a look. “Nevermind.”

-

Fury had been ready to hand off the assignments to the agents. They were already gathered in the bullpen, he was sure. All he had to do was check in with Rumlow and go over them. No problem. Except that it was. Because Goose had shredded them. Every folder. Every piece of paper. Shredded.

Goose had never very much liked Rumlow. So when the agent in question stepped into Fury’s office to ask for a brief summary of the assignments going out, neither agent nor flerken were happy to see the other.

This was a dilemma. Fury couldn’t give Goose up. Rumlow had hated Goose from the beginning, and if Rumlow realized the cat had shredded the folders, he would push for the cat to be banned from the premises. And he wasn’t the only one the cat disliked.

“So, where are the assignments?” Rumlow said after a moment of silence. He and Fury never beat around the bush or dilly dallied with greetings, and Fury’s opening silence was not usual.

“Not here,” Fury said shortly. Rumlow crossed his arms.

“Not here?” he repeated doubtfully. “Fury, we do this every week. Don’t make it difficult now. Just hand me the folders.”

“No,” Fury shrugged. “I will not. These will go out tomorrow.”

“They’ll go out today,” Rumlow said. He sounded frustrated as he approached Fury. He opened his mouth to add more but was sidetracked by the sight of folders on Fury’s desk. All of them clearly marked “Initiate Assignments” and all of them shredded. “If you’re covering for your damn cat—”

“You think my cat did this?” Fury interrupted. “Sorry, Rumlow, but I do believe you’re overestimating my cat’s ability to conceive the will to hinder S.H.I.E.L.D. matters. Unless you’re implying that my cat is a traitor?”

Rumlow opened his mouth to interrupt but Fury wasn’t done.

“This was clearly the work of a traitor, isn’t it? And forgive me for the assumption, but I don’t believe that the traitor is a cat. Now—” Fury stood up and planted his hands on his desk. “I assured you that these documents would be ready by tomorrow. Trust in my ability to deal with the one who did this. Cancel the meeting and go.”

Rumlow glared at Fury and then at the cat, who growled at him with hair raised. But he couldn’t very well accuse one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s finest.  He turned on his heel and stormed off, not noticing Fury sinking back into his chair in a cold sweat, digging his fingers into the fur on his cat’s head. “Close one, Goose. That was close.”