Idk what to do anymore 😔 it just low-key feels draining anymore and hard

Hugs to you! 🫂 It sounds really draining D: I actually read a client’s chart with this aspect earlier this year. I’ll include that write up along with a recent ah-ha! moment.

Here’s from the reading:

“Transformation plus rebellion – I think this placement is about standing firm in your personal values to enact transformation, delve into personal understanding, along with showing up unapologetically as oneself in all aspects of life like social situations. Figuring out your values through experimenting with travel, higher education, philosophies, and religion or no religion. A question to consider here is “what does freedom mean to me and how can I achieve it on a regular basis?” This can apply to sexual encounters, friendships, relationships, family, everyday social encounters, higher education. Pluto Sag 1H holds strong personal beliefs with how you think life should be lived. Pluto in Sag generation does tend toward Nihilism, so if you find yourself in this kind of thinking and it doesn’t serve you, look for another kind of -ism or maybe make your own and change the world! Lilith conjunct Ascendant women usually garner a lot of hate/jealousy from other women and even men. Lilith is all about unbridled freedom, embracing your wild side, and raw sexuality. You are probably a sexy mf, especially with Pluto conjunct Lilith and these two conjunct the ASC, the energy of these two sort of merge with the ASC and have an influence on your physical appearance. Since these are the “sexy” planets/objects, you might have a very magnetic aura and draw a lot of people in easily. Lilith being near the ascendant may draw a lot of unwanted attention in a sexual way. Lilith in 1H and near the ascendant indicate needing to live authentically. I think all three of these combined can indicate the need to live life by your own values and that might be considered trailblazing to a lot of other people. With Pluto being near the ascendant, you might attract a lot of attention due to an intensity you carry. This might be due to adverse conditions you experienced growing up. Control issues can be a theme with this aspect. Remember, you can only control yourself and your own actions, you can’t control what others think, do, or say. The more you try to control others, the more problems you will have. The more you let go of needing to have control, the more freedom you will feel.”

Here was my recent light bulb moment, more so in terms for the Pluto and ASC conjunction, but I think this can apply for Lilith too. It might be beneficial for you to understand your own grieving process and just grief in general. Pluto on the ASC is a catalyst for constant change. Death and rebirth is the name of the game and with death comes grief. A new world in which you have to traverse with your dreams of the old completely shattered. Getting acquainted with complicated grief/intangible loss specifically will be helpful too. Sagittarius is all about exploration and since this is the first house, it becomes self-exploration.

Sagittarius 1H conjunct Pluto and Lilith - self-exploration through sexuality, philosophy, religion, travel, power and control dynamics, death and rebirth/grief.

In regards to Lilith: being sexualized, ostracized, and choosing not to conform to societal standards requires its own grieving process. Especially with societal conditioning that one receives as a woman (must be nurturing, a mother, a free therapist, the fantasy disneyfication of fairy tales = finding your Prince Charming/true love). You are not meant to live a “status quo” sort of life with Lilith dominance.

And in true Lilith fashion, you could absolutely use this to your advantage by profiting off of men sexualizing you and alchemizing the hatred you receive from women. Turn that pain into power and money baby 😈. You could probably do really well on OF 😉

We are in the era of authenticity, and you have a very powerful conjunction at your ASC. If you are tapping into Lilith and refusing to conform to society, living authentically, you can really be a beacon of light, hope, and inspiration for others.

Sorry for the novel, hope it helped (and made sense lol)! 💜

For those who have pluto in the ascendant be it in D1 or D9 chart. Have ever faced any relationship that ended without reason but it ended so sudden that you don't even know how to react at all ?

Pluto dominant people have extremely deep emotions that no one knows except themselves. They don't even talk about their emotions to anyone but kept it boiling within themselves which one day exploded in a very destructive ways.

For more info do follow Lamirza Grace YouTube channel. Tq.

I have a scorpio pluto in my 11th house which opposes my taurus sun in 5th house at 0'38 degrees. I also have my 7th house ruler, the moon, on the 8th house. Could this be the reason why I had an absent father? He never wanted anything to do with me and fucked off before I was born. The only male figure I had growing up was my step father but he spent most of his time traveling and never cared about stablishing any kind of emotional bond with me. Moreover, males have also overlooked me in the romance department; at 26 y/o, the only 2 times I've developped feelings, it turned out to be Unrequited as they were 2 good friends both times.

Aries sun Scorpio moon Leo rising Pluto dominance

There is darkness that lies beneath my firey exterior

Hello love

Is your ascendant Libra? Our Asc dictates a lot of our physical traits; planets touching your ASC and your dominant planet affect the appearance.

If you don't know, you can got to astroseek.