#please do this

Project Hail Mary x TRANSFORMERS. Bayverse, Prime, whatever floats you're boat. Personally I like Bayverse (sue me)

Grace and Rocky end up drifting by Cybertron. The Autobots pick up the Hail Mary on radar or whatever the fuck they have, and of course are wondering "what the hell is that", and they try and hail the ship. Nothing. So, they go up there, and bring the Hail Mary down to Cybertron. They look in the window and it's Grace and Rocky looking back like a pair of raccoons that just got caught raiding the trash.

So once Grace isn't on the brink of absolutely freaking the hell out, they call Optimus because "holy shit, there's a human up here, why the fuck is a human up here". When Optimus finds out Grace was forced on the Hail Mary and sent to more or less die... Earth

That would be an excellent theme for a Terra arc if they wanted to give her another one.

Have someone intentionally rile her up (maybe President Earth or another villain) and get her negative emotions in high gear, enough to make her want to do something like get revenge on Cosmo.

And don’t have her just be angry. Have her seethe. Have her absolutely boil up. And have her pride over everyone saying her emotions are justified make it worse.

And then have her explode.

It’s when you’re tied up (face up) and your ler is sitting on your lower stomach. Then they rapidly poke all around your armpits, ribs, and collarbone area. Changing spots every few pokes.

Your body doesn’t know how to react. Except struggle and laugh. But you can’t get away 🤭

so now that a precedent for this kinda thing has been set i wanna tell you why it’s so fun.

1) you can snap it off in their brain. this is great bc it will likely need brain surgery to remove, so you can have fun with medical/hospital whump or you can leave it in and maybe give whumpee a brain infection, and it doesn’t look that bad from the outside. without an x-ray to show there’s bamboo in your brain, you don’t know. this is extra true if it goes through your mouth or nose bc then you can’t see the entry point. this is how people end up not knowing they have a chopstick lodged in their frontal lobe until months later and i just feel the whump potential for that is so good.

2) brain damage. if you know me at all you know how much i love brain damage so i won’t beat a dead horse but you can give them brain damage, and if you are ever in a position to give your whumpee brain damage i honestly believe you are obligated to do just that.

3) it doesn’t have to be a chopstick. any long thin pointy thing would work fine which makes this a very versatile whump method. in a school? use a pencil. in the woods? use a stick. in a hospital? use a thermometer. in a fantasy? use a magic wand, that’s bound to make things a million times worse. there have always been long thin pointy things wherever you go which means you can do this to your whumpee in pretty much every setting. she has range

4) big big points for what the fuck factor. i’ve mentioned before how important what the fuck factor is for me and this is no exception. if the chopstick is hidden like i talked about in point 1, then you get the big reveal of chopstick in the brain. perfect what the fuck moment right there. it gives you time to build up the mystery of what is wrong with whumpee, only to blindside everyone with the answer: chopstick. who would ever guess that. very what the fuck. if the chopstick is not hidden, then you have the immediate reveal of chopstick in the brain, and what the fuck that’s not good we need to do something. this what the fuck moment is much more chaotic bc obviously whumpee needs first aid, but how the hell do you deal with a chopstick sticking out of someone’s face holes? maybe caretaker is a medic and is relying on their training but isnt super confident bc what the fuck, or maybe they have barely any medical knowledge and are just absolutely panicking bc again, what the fuck. no matter what everyone is gonna be thinking what the fuck and i think that’s glorious

This type of shit