i can't believe the greatest character of all time graced tv 29 years ago. buffy summers YOU are the blueprint! YOU are the standart! everybody wishes they were you! buffy summers in the top 3 characters of any media/art form and she is neither the second nor the third.
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+ the notes I added to them after seeing them + a couple more because I want to
(And because most of my notes are just what Val's character was and whether/in what mood it's worth rewatching, and I want to elaborate on that)
These aren’t exactly all the Kilms I want to watch ever, but this is more or less the innital list I made when I was just getting interested in Val, and I wanted to post it to celebrate finally finishing it <3
Also, you’re getting it chronological but a) I jumped around a bit at first before I made the list and b) when I did make it, I watched it chronologically backwards because I guessed (correctly) that I would like Top Secret! and I wanted to make sure I ended on a good note.
Spoilers for: Willow, The Murders in the Rue Morgue, Billy the Kid, Tombstone, The Island of Dr. Moreau, At First Sight, Hard Cash, Blind Horizon, Hardwired, and Top Gun: Maverick.
Shoved under a read more because it's a lil long.
Top Secret! (1984): Hot and Cool and Singing!; this is the best thing ever
I started this movie saying to myself, "If this is anything but completely stupid, I will be severaly disappointed." I was not disappointed. At All.
Real Genius (1985): The crazy amazing MVP; burnout cure
Chris is absolutely amazing, his mindset is my life goal.
Top Gun (1986): Chewie baby
Do I need to say more? Read literally any other post of mine, I don't think so. Ice is how I got into Val and I'm not going anywhere.
The Murders in the Rue Morgue (1986): Juilliard bby, not much; monkey??
I was very much not familiar with this story before this movie. The monkey left me both confused and disappointed.
"Juilliard bby" because I noticed this thing Val does with his hands when he's acting out a passionate monologue - he throws his hands up in this kind of specific way. He does it in Willow too, but this is where I noticed that it's apparently A Thing, and I'm chosing to attribute it to that Juilliard theatre training.
The Man Who Broke 1000 Chains (1987): Beat up dog but hot about it; real events
This is where the dog metaphors start/end. I had a phase, okay?
Willow (1988): The greatest bastard swordsman; something Good
This is the movie I watch when I just need a happy ending. And also when I miss Madmartigan because I can go absolutely feral for that man. Mads my beloved <3
Kill me again (1989): Hot & broke, in over his head; kinda fun yea
Val is absolutely delightful in this movie. And he provides me with some very useful visual references (like getting thrown on a table).
Billy the Kid (1989): Delightful pup, dies
The quality I watched this movie in had like three pixels but I could still tell that Val was very adorable.
The Doors (1991): Constantly high freak; they WHAT
I did not know enough about The Doors to be prepared for this movie. Two hours straight of "What the fuck." But Val was singing again!
Thunderheart (1992): Dude's got Issues; a lil shouty but surprisingly Nice
I love Ray. Love him. Rewatched it again immediately the day after seeing it for the first time. It's a great movie!
Do I know any Ray/Crow Horse shippers?
The Real McCoy (1993): Funny dummy; Feminism
Every older movie with a female main character who does more than just cry all the time is a win for me, basically. And this one is really good too, I've rewatched it several times already. Also Val's character is a sweetheart and good with kids!
True Romance (1993): Nice voiceover cameo dude
I hear Val looked good, but I sadly did not get to see it.
Tombstone (1993): Country accent, dies (cried)
This was the first Kilm I saw after Top Gun, so it was... something of a culture shock, I'd say. But I cried like a baby and now I could quote most of Doc's lines if you woke me up in the middle of the night. And Val rides a horse! (And I do love a cowboy)
Do I know any Doc/Wyatt shippers?
Batman Forever (1995): Why does the costume have muscles, glasses, tormented hot guy
I haven't seen too many Batmans, and Val was very charming in this role. But truly, why does the costume look like that?
Val! In! Glasses! (I am very not normal about him)
Heat (1995): Long hair blondie badass, side character; Very Boring
I need you to imagine the "Very Boring" being said in the voice of Bruno from The Saint. I understand that a lot of people love this movie, but I think this genre in general is just not for me. But Val looked pretty and I wanted more of him.
The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996): Delightful little freak, dies insane; yea no not really
Val plays crazy really well. Sadly, I was eating during the... birth scene, and I struggled to eat salami for a month after that. It was worth the watch but... no. If I never see it again, it might be too soon.
The Ghost and the Darkness (1996): Kinda Cool Guy + the Waist; hunting lions
You know when Val's running around in the tank top? Ugh, the Waist, I live.
Now, when I say "Cool Guy," capitalized, I'm talking more about the movie than the character, and I'm essentially saying that the movie isn't doing - or isn't meant do to - more than make the main character look cool. I coined the term while watching a Netflix action comedy, and any movie that isn't that doesn't really fit the bill completely so with the older movies, my internal definition shifts and I use it very loosely.
The Saint (1997): Cool Guy (vintage) with a hint of stray dog
I love a secret identity, so this movie is just a delight. Rewatching constantly.
At First Sight (1999): Amazing guy; bittersweet ending
Virgil looks very soft and I love him very much. And he has a dog!
Red Planet (2000): Loyal puppy, good romance; bit of gross visuals (space bugs)
19th nervous breakdown got me through several exam seasons already, thank you very much.
The Salton Sea (2002): "So who’s this guy? I don’t know. But I like his chances."; pathetic stray dog; violent&fucked ish
I really enjoy the symbolism, it's the kinda thing that makes me want to Create, you know? But I can't lie, I'd be willing to rewatch it more often if the badger wasn't there.
Hard Cash (2002): Bad guy, mildly insane, dies
I... do not remember much about this movie and none of what I do remember makes me want to rewatch it.
Wonderland (2003): Beard, curls, fucked up stray dog; inspired by real events
I have Thoughts about the scene where he's tied to chair. Val looks good, the movie was good, but not in a way that makes me want to see it again.
Blind Horizon (2003): What if amnesia made you NOT kill the president; lovable stray dog
The concept is cool, Val is cool, he's both very hard and very soft, and he wears a cowboy hat! Awesome!
Spartan (2004): "You tough, honey? I think you're tough.", "rozumíš?"
The first quote singlehandledly reignited my teenage selfshipper soul. The second makes my slav heart race. This is the movie that inspired my crossover fic series. I don't rewatch it often but I have a great time when I do.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005): Makes out with RDJ; fucking hilarious
I love it. I love it I love it I love it. For the first month after seeing this, I could not think about it without completely losing my shit. I still start laughing every time I remember the corpse peeing dialogue. A 100% reliable mood lifter, tried and tested.
Do I know any Harry/Perry shippers?
Deja Vu (2006): Side character ish; time travel
I always have a good time with this kind of time travel plots.
Val doesn't have a big role here but I've recently rewatched it and I nearly went feral every time he showed up. Ugh, my man.
Conspiracy (2008): Cool Guy-ish; power to the people
I like the message of it. It gets a little closer to my official Cool Guy definition than the others.
2:22 (2008): Minor character; wtf is happening
Listen. I have no idea what it was, if I looked away during a crucial scene, if not being able to find a version of this with subtitles threw me off that much, but for the life of me, I cannot tell you what this movie is about. I watched the whole thing and at no point did I know what was happening. Also Val was in it for like five minutes. But I did like him.
Hardwired (2009): Side character, bad guy, dies
I... would not say it's a good movie, but if someone else said it, I wouldn't argue with them. As a Kilm though, I'll give it a pass.
Planes (2013): Cameo; helmet!!
It's more of an easter egg than a cameo, but the helmet made me very emotional.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022): Iceman fucking dies don’t talk to me
