#planegraveyard

15: A time you were most content in life.

In my drama classes in grade 8 and 9, we’d sometimes have entire classes dedicated to talking (eden and kelly will probably know this but here we go). we’d all sit in a circle and sometimes we’d start out trying to pick a game to play to start off the class, but then we’d get sidetracked and he’d start talking all deep and meaningful. It was a completely open conversation, and anyone who needed to could spill whatever they wanted; what was told in that class, stayed in that class. I rarely spilled my guts but just sitting in that class and listening to people I had hardly ever spoken a word to pour their hearts out to a room of people and feeling safe doing that gave me so much faith in humanity and the people in my class and school. It brought out the good in everyone in the room and I don’t know, I feel like if entire schools did this more often, school could actually be a pretty decent place that people wanted to go to and feel safe at. Anyway, it was classes like those ones that made me feel a lot better about navigating life’s mazes, that maybe I wasn`t as alone as I felt, that other people were going through trying times too, and even if I never spoke to some of these people again, it was possible for people to let their guards down and confide in near-strangers.

As I’m writing this I’m aware that it might sound weird that other people’s troubles make me feel level and content. But I think that part of it is just feeling reassured, reminded that everyone has shit to deal with. Some people are really good at hiding things like that and it’s crazy unsettling at times, because I feel like I’m a total mess and everyone around me is absolutely fine and strong and nothing hurts them. So there’s my two cents.

22: Your worst fear.

I never know what to say to this. Like, I’m scared of my future and I’m scared of not being good enough, but I’m also freaked out by wind chimes in the night and spiders.

but I guess my worst fear is that I’ll die before knowing what I actually want from life and getting that thing. I’m not even trying to sound really deep or philosophical, I’m just afraid of running out of time. I know that you kind of have to take life as it comes to you, one day at a time, and hope that it’ll be enough. People die every day without finishing their bucketlists, without finishing their degree, without saying goodbye to people they love, and it’s not even the death part of that that scares me the most, it’s that I won’t feel like I’ve succeeded in my life whenever it’s over. 

That probably sounded really morbid holy shit but it just gets to me.

39: Things you wish you’d known earlier.

I actually have a list of these on my iPod that I keep meaning to copy into a notebook but I still haven’t. so here are a few:

anyone who tells you that your tears are not worth their time is not a person to hang on to.

sometimes the person you put first, puts you last

you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped

there can never be too many good people in the world.

——

send me numbers and I’ll talk about stuff they turn into tangents

ALSO MAKAYLA IF YOU’RE READING THIS I’M IN THE PROCESS OF ANSWERING YOUR NUMBERS AS WELL I SWEAR