WHAT IT’S LIKE KISSING THE SLASHERS
PART ONE
Author’s Note: This was requested but I accidentally deleted it from my inbox, but it’s here! Much like my “what do the slashers smell like” headcanons I’ll be describing the hygiene of some of these guys so if that grosses you out this one won’t be fun.
Characters included: Pennywise, Art the Clown, Valak, Brahms Heelshire, Pinhead, The Djinn
Warnings/notes: 18+ MDNI (nothing explicit but still), descriptions of kissing/heavy making out and rough affection, descriptions of body horror in Pinhead’s part, descriptions of dental hygiene, it/he pronouns for Pennywise, he/they pronouns for Pinhead, no physical description of reader, not beta read
Pennywise:
• Getting a kiss from Pennywise is not something that happens at the beginning of your relationship (if that’s what you call it)
• It’s not that it doesn’t understand kissing. He understands quite well actually. But kissing a human has never been something the Deadlights have even considered before. But it happens eventually and when it does it’s messy, sloppy, and surprisingly dominating.
• Pennywise’s version of kissing teeters between the average, sweet kissing you were familiar with and whatever the entity’s definition of kissing is.
• He holds your face in his hand and pecks at your lips and cheeks. When the faux clown is feeling particularly worked up, he’ll hold you tight and kiss you deeply, a deep growling in his chest as he does so. And after a while, his version of kissing turns into more licking than kissing.
• You try to explain to it that licking the side of your face is not kissing and you’re promptly shushed. He knows, he just doesn’t care.
• Pennywise doesn’t taste bad when you kiss him. Which is surprising when you realize dental hygiene is nonexistent to him but less surprising when you realize that Pennywise isn’t a clown but a cosmic entity that can change appearance, smell, even taste on a whim. It definitely makes kissing him a whole lot more appealing.
Art the Clown:
• Are you sure you want to kiss him? Like are you really sure? You are? Okay…
• Art’s kisses depend on his mood. They can range from being lighthearted and silly to incredibly harsh and dominating.
• If he's in a particularly good mood, his kisses are surprisingly soft. He'll leave a trail of kisses on your neck and jaw before kissing your lips gently. Sometimes he'll nip at your bottom lip if he's feeling playful or frisky.
• When things do heat up, Art gets a lot rougher. He'll hold your head in place while hungrily kissing you. If he's not in the best mood, he might wrap his hand around your throat to keep you in place.
• Art can get nasty with kisses. Like truly gross. There will be spit, there will be tongue. And depending on how many people he has killed that day there might be a little (or a lot) of blood as well.
Valak:
• Kissing Valak is a rare thing but when he does kiss you it always feels like he’s claiming you in some way, like he’s reminding you of what he is and what it means to be with him.
• He often pulls you in by the chin and leads you to him, mostly when he’s in his nun form. He often kisses you slowly. He rarely gives out short, sweet kisses because to him they’re meaningless and not worth his time.
• His teeth can be a problem when it comes to kissing him. In his true form and his faux nun form, he has rows of sharp teeth which sometimes get in the way.
• He’s not opposed to using those teeth either. When he’s feeling particularly playful he’s been known to bite your lip. He only does this when he’s the Nun, the teeth he has in his true form might just rip your lip off.
• Speaking of teeth, do angels and demons brush their teeth? I doubt Valak does and I highly doubt he feels the need to do so. That being said, Valak’s mouth doesn’t taste awful but his breath does smell like the rest of him….fire and brimstone, as if he rolled around in Hell before tiptoeing into the material plane. It's an…acquired taste.
Brahms Heelshire:
• It took a bit for Brahms to kiss you properly.
• There are insecurity issues surrounding his face and for a while he'd just "kiss" you through his mask, pecking the porcelain lips against your skin instead of his own.
• It's not until you lift his mask and kiss him first that all his hesitation stops.
• Brahms is the walking definition of needy. Nearly every kiss from him feels desperate, like all he ever wants in life is for you to touch him. Like he's scared it will somehow be the last kiss.
• He's quite the messy kisser. When Brahms gets worked up (which he often does), he tends to lack coordination. He's not bad at kissing but his eagerness and constant need for more get in the way of him learning how to get good at it.
• Brahms clings to you when he kisses you. He'll tug at your clothes and grope any part of you he can get a hold of.
• He attempts to turn sweet, short kisses into something more and has a bad habit of pouting when you tell him you can't sit around and make out with him all day.
Pinhead:
• When you first started a relationship with Pinhead you assumed kissing him on the lip was simply not an option for you. Although you did sit and ponder about what it would be like you ultimately wrote it off as a possibility.
• When you wanted to show the cenobite affection you would take to kissing their hand or giving them a hug.
• You were completely taken aback when the Cenobite offered to give you what you craved.
• Pinhead surprised you by pulling the pins out from around the front of his face. One by one he pulled the long rods of metal out from around his lips, nose, cheeks, and chin. It was horrifying but in an odd way, you were extremely flattered that he was willing to do that for you.
• Kissing Pinhead is a rare occurrence but when it happens they kiss you so passionately that it leaves you dizzy and wanting more.
• He kisses you slowly, holding you close as he does so. His hands barely wander unless he knows there's something else you want. If that's the case he will tease you as he kisses you.
• His lips are freezing and his breath smells slightly metallic, like a faint hint of blood is lingering in his mouth. It's not unpleasant but it takes some getting used to.
The Djinn/Nathaniel Demerest:
• The Djinn rarely kisses you but when he does it's as a reminder that you're his. He barely does it to show affection.
• This is not to say he's incapable of showing affection, he absolutely is capable. But he's not very affectionate at his core.
• When he chooses to kiss you, it's often short but there's a firmness to it. He grips your chin and pulls you to his lips and when he lets go of your chin, the kiss stops. That's how it often is unless you're craving something more.
• When you are craving more affection from him he unfortunately likes to turn it into a game. He will constantly try to trick you into audibly wishing for him to kiss you. He's not doing it to be mean per se, it's just his nature.
• When he relents, he kisses you for as long as you want. He's surprisingly passionate and unless you're careful things may heat up too quickly with him.
• He can get surprisingly feisty under the right circumstances. If you play your cards right one kiss from him can turn into an entire makeout session.
• Don't put lip biting past him, he'll absolutely do it.
• Sometimes, when you pull back to catch your breath he'll grab you by the back of the head, pull you back, and leave marks all over your neck.
