Apr 26
Jughead: Piemageddon #01
Art by Marguerite Sauvage
Archie Comics (2026)
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Jughead: Piemageddon #01
Art by Marguerite Sauvage
Archie Comics (2026)
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ah. so it's her-- the one who disrespected his hair. ingrid may have missed her hit, but linhardt refuses to let l'arachel off so easily. he readies the next stinkbomb pie and stalks after her. when she pauses, linhardt takes a chance to chuck his pie towards her. unlike ingrid's, this one is especially made for l'arachel-- it's laced with spices.
Letting her guard down was her first mistake.
L’Arachel, the non-suspecting, simply trying to survive in this slowly becoming vicious war. The halls were quiet, the numbers had been severely reduced by about half now. She looks left and right, she stops to check herself out in a mirror, a mix of pie filling staining her clothes and hair, and what was this?
In the reflection, a sudden pie flies toward her, right for the back of her head and before she could properly dodge it, it lands where the pie-sassin planned. It smelled different when it landed, a mix of... spices?
Tasting the pie’s contents was her second mistake.
After swiping it off with a hand, her tongue barely touches the contents remaining on her hand. Oh, that was quite nice! She licks the rest off of one finger, getting a much larger dose and needless to say, she had made a grave mistake.
Immediately, her face heats up and her eyes begin to water. Swallowing didn’t provide much help either, the burn traveled down her throat as well as lingered all over her tongue.
“Ah... Ah! Oh my... STONES!” She desperately fanned herself. Through teary eyes, anger crosses her already red face as she looks around to see who this cursed pie-sassin was—
Linhardt.
She would get him back later. As of right now, she needed to drown herself in milk.
TOA Midsommar Piemageddon Ask Minigame!
UPDATE: Initial team-joining ends at 11:00am PST, and minigame ends when the Midsommar event does (Nov 4, 11:59pm EST) or when everyone has been pied to death! For narrative purposes, there will be ribbons you can claim from enemy players to symbolize your victory. Conditional casualties (join after getting hit X number of times) are also possible!
Lilly and I were talking about a pie assassin game and with only 2 days left until Midsommar ends, why not launch it now? (And it’s a rapid-fire way to get some last-minute event activity for those sweet rewards~) We're currently seeking interest in the competition but not really - it's heavily ask based and essentially amounts to a game of chance as to keep the game moving. It'll either end when the Midsommar event closes, or when there's only one person left standing!
Please like this post if you’re interested and you shall be RNG’ed to Team Caspar or Team Cynthia (just to keep the team counts even, because I suspect a lot of people have reason to gun for one or the other or whichever players we get XD). Don’t have time to participate, or your muse wouldn’t willingly do so, but still want death by pie? Like the post anyway (+ DM one of us); we are accepting casualties!
Some baseline rules below the cut:
Nino was starting to get exhausted. Maybe she was on too much of a roll with trying to throw pies at people... She felt herself getting a little bit tired. Maybe she'll take a rest, just by this empty hallway, holding this pie... Suddenly, she heard noises! Not taking any chances, she hurled a pie and- oh, no, Edelgard wasn't going to be happy and Hubert was really not going to be happy! "Hubert, wait, no, go back, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-!"
The carnage of the war waging across the monastery grounds had not quite reached the students studying quietly in the library. Without windows, one could not look out and see the remains of pie tins and whipped cream in the courtyard, at the stairs to the dorms, or all around the doors to the training hall. So the hallway where the faculty kept to their offices, also blissfully unaware of the damage just beyond their walls, would make a perfect place for anyone to hide and catch their breath.
Of course, Hubert was not expecting anyone to be lurking around the corner, so when his vision is suddenly blacked out by an indescribably wet and slimy sensation across his entire face, the surprise sends him reeling back. He catches himself with his hand against the stone wall, bent forward as the pie tin loosens from its filling and lands with a clatter at his feet. Suddenly he can see again, and he wipes a large handful of whipped cream from his face, shedding it from his glove with an exasperated shake of his hand and a sad plop as the mess lands squarely on the ground.
"Nino..." he nearly whispers. Perhaps if she hadn't spoken, he would not have recognized her right away, but he knew her voice. And he would not forget.
"I do hope you have an explanation for this."
Okay, Nino was gonna be really careful this time. She's already had two misfires and she feels really badly about them, so she's gonna make sure she's really careful. She holds the pie with two hands, and she sees Inigo sitting down. She's just gonna just run up, throw the pie right over his head, and it'll be fine! She rushes forward, pie in hand... and trips. And accidentally throws the pie at... "OH NO!" She yells. "LORENZ, LOOK OUT!" She wails; why did it have to be Lorenz?
Roll: 16- Total Hit WHY
Lorenz heard Nino scream and turned towards her to see what on earth was the matter as a pie viciously impacted him seconds later. He froze, stunned as fruit filling and whipped cream seeped into his uniform. He made eye contact with Nino who looked mortified. “Young Lady.” He closed his eyes, sighed, and took a deep breath with tremendous effort. He loved Nino. She was sorry. By the trajectory, he guessed the target had been Inigo. He brushed off some crust and strawberry filling in Inigo’s direction and nodded to Nino.
“It’s alright dear, just- oooooooh goddess I need to throw myself in the pond.” He did a dad half jog out of the dining hall and took a page out of cynthias book, slipping into the pond to get as much debris off as quickly as possible.
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Edelgard spotted Nino sitting alone looking… Down for some reason. She approached slowly, putting the pie in her hands down on the bench next to her as she knelt down. She looked at Nino’s clothing and hair, not a spot of pie to be seen so why was she crying? Edelgard offered her a small smile, “Now, what has you so upset, my Little Eagle?” She pointed to the pie, “You were having so much fun the last time I saw you.”
Nino heard Edelgard’s voice, and was really surprised to not feel any sort of pie hitting her. She looked up instinctively, temporarily forgetting that her face was a mess, hurriedly looking back downward as she tried to hide her tears... but it was already too late. She decided to fess up.
“I... I was having so much fun, I forgot to be careful...” She hiccuped a little bit. “I... I really hurt Ignatz and Cynthia... I-I didn’t even think I could... h-hurt someone with a pie, but they got injured... a-and then I accidentally hit a professor... a-and I hit so many people who I-... I didn’t even mean to hit... I hit that scary man from our house, h-he probably hates me... B... Berkut, I think his name was... a-and then I hit Lorenz on accident and he was disappointed... a-and...”
Nino choked slightly, afraid to continue because she was really scared of Edelgard being disappointed in her for these last two. “I-... I hit Hubert, and he was... r-really scary, and... I was trying my best to impress him, b-but now he’s really disappointed in me, a-and I don’t even think I can fix that... a-and worst of all, I...” She hiccuped. “I hit Ferdinand, and he... he sounded really upset. A-... And I liked Ferdinand a lot... I-I didn’t mean to hurt so many people, Edelgard, I- I just wanted to have fun... I-I’m so sorry...”
Nino was on a roll with the pies! She was now starting to go back to being a little bit reckless, and was running as fast as she could down a hallway with a pie reached high in the air, facing outwards. She ran so fast that she didn't see Ferdinand in time, and she didn't have enough time to brake, it was going to take Ferdinand's reflexes! Nino gave a loud yelp as she realized she was gonna collide with a pie in her hand! "F-Ferdinand! R-Run! I'm so sorryyyyy!"
Ferdinand had been walking around the monastery idly, in one of the few times where he found he actually had some free time on his hands. The air in the monastery was festive these days, crisp and clear and mirthful, and Ferdinand couldn’t help but find some joy in it, the orange-haired man smiling contentedly. Garreg Mach really was a wonderful place, wasn’t it? He was at peace.
-RESULT: 19
-SAVING ROLL: 4
A green blur in his peripheral vision drew Ferdinand’s attention, and he turned with an idle “hmm?” only to find Nino about two feet in front of his face, shouting terrifiedly. Before the unfortunate noble could even begin to find the wits to react, his face was no longer visible at all, instead hidden behind the tin of a pie, his face and the sides of his head deluged under a remarkably precise cloud of whipped cream. “Uu dnn uunnrrzdnnd,” he said slowly, incomprehensibly and muffledly, turned slowly on his heel, and began to walk back to his quarters (barely dodging ramming directly into a wall on the way back).
Nino ran into Conrad again, about to throw a pie, but then... Wait. She already tried to hit him before. That isn't very fair. "Uh... um..." She awkwardly paused. "This isn't fair, I hit you only a few minutes ago... do you want to take a shot first? But then wait, that's not fair either because I offered..." Nino looks slightly stumped with her pie in hand.
Goodness Mila, this dear child was out to get him for some reason. Was it revenge for striking down an beautiful ocean maiden? Or was it mere happenstance?At the very least, she was polite and sweet about it- offering him a chance. “Well.. now.. That would not be honorable at all, wouldn’t it? “ The masked knight walks towards Nino, with a warm smile. “Do you like fairy tales, Tulip? For I have an compromise– we both shall do a fair and just duel.”He walks over towards a nearby stand and holds up a pie, lifting it before him as it were a skeleton in this very well known play called ‘Pamlet’ – “My suggestion is we only wield our finest pies, take a few paces back- and on the count of three–” Conrad pivots his foot around, to face Nino. “We attack. How’s that sound?”