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i canโt believe iโve accumulated 1.3k followers after only a year, this is huge ! <3
guys i just wanted to say a huuuge thank you to everyone that has supported me throughout my awkward first year on tumblr,
yโallโs love and kindness has pushed me through some rough times where i thought about quitting and disappearing, so truly from the bottom of my heart โ thank you my loves !
summary: your insecurities show as he gets touchy in places you gained weight at, leading to you and dean sharing a vulnerable moment
cw: angst.แ comfort .แ low self-esteem.แ ed thoughts.แ typical new years resolution [to lose weight].แ vulnerability.แ societyโs toxic views deeply rooted in readerโs mind [skinny culture, double standards, misogyny].แ est relationship [dating].แ bunker era.แ older!dean cuz i feel like he is more mature about things like that.แ
word count: 1k
notes: first fic of the year! yay! of course we starting with a little bit of angst as a warm up.
the end of the year was rough and super tiring, the days were shorter and darker, hunting monsters during the colder seasons didnโt seem like a good idea in general, it was all just a frickin mess.
it brought a lot of stress and anxiety onto you and the brothers, which made you spiral into stress-eat, leading you to gain a bit of weight. it wasnโt much, but enough for your brain to start bullying yourself.
you were in the kitchen, washing the dishes after a dinner together. sam got the ingredients from the shop, dean cooked, so you were left with the dishes. team work at itโs finest.
you were lost in your thoughts, the repetitive, overly self-conscious thoughts that harassed your inner peace.
deanโs sudden embrace yanked you out of the spiralling thoughts, only to create new ones, his arms snaking around your waist area. one of the places you felt real insecure about โ your belly.
especially after eating, you knew it was normal for your stomach to stretch and expand a little after eating, but the little self critic in your head yelled at you that your belly is sticking out, making you look pregnant, unattractive, undesirable.
at first you tried to push away the wave of those panicking thoughts,
โheโs touching your belly..โ
โ..your big belly.โ
โhe will feel out how much youโve gained weight.โ
โyou shouldnโt have ate.โ
โhis hands are on your fat belly.โ
โhe will dump you now that youโre fat.โ
โhis hands need to get away from you.โ
โyou seriously need to cut down on eating.โ
โhe will find a prettier than you girl to date.โ
you certainly didnโt win with your mind this time, resulting in you squirming away from his touch.
dean didnโt fail to miss those tiny details, he knew you too damn well at this point โ your face contorting in uncomfortably, the way you jolted out of his grasp as if it physically hurt you. he felt something was wrong, that something was severely off.
his brows frowned in confusion and worry, what was going on with his sweetheart.
โbaby.. whatโs wrong?โ he asked, his voice low and soft as ever. he knew better than to startle you with a raised voice.
โiโm sorry..โ you stuttered, โitโs just..โ you sighed out, looking down in guilt and shame.
โi have a mom bod, and iโm not even a mom.โ you finally spat out, hesitantly looking into his eyes.
โi could change that.โ dean blurted out jokingly with a soft smirk, hoping to cheer you up with a little of his dorky flirting.
โdean iโm seriousโ you tilted your head, taking a step back to lean against the cold metallic kitchen counter. โi need to lose weight, iโve let myself go and i canโt have that..โ you crossed your arms.
โyou told me i have a bit of a dad bod and youโre not forcing me to workout.โ he raised a brow, slightly confused at your logic.
โthatโs different.โ you scoffed softly, looking away.
โhow is it different?โ he asked, stepping closer towards you, his arms also crossed in front of his chest.
โit just isโฆ iโm a woman, youโre a guy.โ your hand gestured to you then to him.
dean was left dumbfounded, was he that thick in the head or were you talking some weird lingo? he couldnโt tell. โso?โ
โmy face is too round now, i have a double chin when i look down, iโm more curvy now, i got a belly when i sit and thighs that are too thick.. iโm just not hot anymore dean.. and i need to be because then you wonโt-โ his eyes softened as you started listing the things you hate about yourself, you were nothing near done but you didnโt want to give him a heart attack.
โokay stop. justโฆ stop for a second.โ he stepped in, reaching to cup your face and gently force you to look him in the eyes in the hopes of breaking whatever thought cycle was going on.
โdo you seriously think that you gaining a bit of weight will suddenly make me change the way i see you?โ he asked, genuinely trying to understand your thought process here.
you donโt answer. but the look in your eyes did it for you.
deanโs emerald green eyes softened further as he finally started to understand where your head was at, what you were afraid of, how you left about him and your relationship with him.
society brainwashed you into thinking that your worth came from how you look and how much you weigh, which was just absolutely wrong.
โsweetheart..โ he started off, his thumbs gently brushing your cheeks, โโฆwhether youโre curvy or not, have a bit more or less, i still love you the same, and nothing can change the way i feel about you.โ
hearing such words from a person you loved dearly tugged at a heartstring, making your eyes fill up with tears, making you look like an upset little puppy.
dean inched his face closer toward yours, making sure you looked him in the eye before he continued speaking, โ..no fat roll, no stretch mark, not anything can change my feelings, do you understand me?โ his tone so soft and gentle, his thumb brushing away your stray tears.
you nodded your head slowly, but it didnโt have the honesty.
โhey, i mean itโฆ i love you. all of you.โ he whispered sincerely before giving you a soft kiss on the forehead, then proceeded to pull you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you in a tight, loving embrace.
โthereโs just a bit more for me to hold and cuddle up to at night.โ he smiled softly against your hair, gently swaying the both of you in the quiet kitchen.
dean could only hope that his words got to you, but you had the real responsibility to let yourself believe him.
to believe that looks werenโt everything, especially that looks changed or disappeared with age, leaving you with your morals, personality and how you simply treat people.
thank you so much for reading! feedback and reblogs are always deeply appreciated by us writers <3
after an amazing year on tumblr that made me gain writing confidence and plenty of mutuals which i am super grateful for, it is now time to reflect on my first year of serious fanfic writing!
as much as i love all of my works iโve done throughout this year, we have to talk about the ones that โpopped-offโ or โslayedโ the most.
body swap series ๐ฆน [ dean winchester x fem!reader ]
like a faucet ๐ฆน [ dean winchester x fem!reader ]
mystery solved ๐ฆน [ dean winchester x fem!reader ]
notes: again i would like to thank yall from the bottom of my heart for all the love and support iโve gotten in 2025 as a rookie fanfic writer!! there is so much more to come from now on!! โ๏ธ๐
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
โ Live Streamingโ Interactive Chatโ Private Showsโ HD Qualityโ Free Actions
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
cw: fluff.แ slow burn.แ pining.แ reader is oblivious of deanโs feelings.แ forced proximity.แ season one era.แ
dean had the impala parked on some random empty field away from human life, the moon being the only thing illuminating any type of light on the night sky.
the temperature this past week kept dropping lower and lower, preparing nature to go to sleep for the winter.
the air was sharp in your lungs, the frostiness making your nose and cheeks red.
you walked out of baby and leaned up against the bonnet which was still warm from the engine, shoving your hands into your jacket pockets to keep them warm.
dean joined next to you, his leather jacket wrapped around him, โcanโt believe you talked me into this..โ he spoke, feeling like his freckles were gonna freeze and fall off.
he tried to warm up his hands by breathing on them, and when that didnโt work he just hid them in his pockets.
โoh come on~ the first snow is always so pretty, and i always miss it.โ you pouted, meeting his gaze.
you looked up to admire the moon, your smile was so soft and adorable, deanโs heart fluttered in his chest, gosh he couldnโt possibly be mad at you.
โthe weather forecast said it would start snowing between 4 and 5โ you looked up, praying for the first snow to fall from the sky soon.
โi swear to god if you made me lose sleep over a false alarm i will make you walk back to the motel room..โ dean huffed grumpily as he pulled on the edges of his jacket, trying to cover more of his body.
he didnโt exactly have the time to dress properly due to you suddenly waking him up and begging him to go see the first snow.
โi know you wouldnโt do that, you love me too muchโ you grinned at him, nudging his side with your elbow as you joked around.
the only problem was thatโฆ you werenโt joking, well at least you werenโt aware of it.
for a while now, dean was trying to push down whatever feelings he had towards you.
pining cough cough, in love with you cough cough.
and you know what wasnโt helping him? your shoulder brushing against his, a simple touch like that making his brain short circuit.
โmhm.โ he tried to act all grumpy but couldnโt help smiling softly, only he knew the truth despite trying to desperately gaslight himself that this feeling would pass.
after a while of waiting patiently for the snow, you started to get colder, you obviously took the wrong jacket whilst you were rushing out the door.
and now you felt the consequences of it. god damnit.
your hands and feet were so cold, feeling like your joints were freezing up completely.
the temperature dropped in a matter of a couple minutes, it was easy to tell since you suddenly started to physically see your and deanโs breaths.
your muscles started shaking, your body automatically trying to warm itself up.
dean didnโt fail to notice you shaking like a little puppy.
โwhy didnโt you dress warmer?โ he asked, his voice raspy and slightly shaky since he was on the verge of shaking from the coldness himself.
โi got too excited about the snow and grabbed the wrong jacket..โ you explained with a small pout.
dean let out a soft sigh and shook his head, his eyes kept glancing back at you. this was the perfect opportunity to be your hero, to be the knight in the shining armour to your damsel in distress.
โcome on, get in here.โ he grumbled as he opened up his leather jacket so you could hide inside with him.
he pretended to be grumpy at you for not dressing properly, but deep inside he was smiling like a little boy at the fact there was an excuse to get closer to you.
deanโs body temperature was higher than yours since naturally men have thicker skin than women, which keeps the body heat inside better.
you scooted closer to him with a shy smile, your arms wrapping round his waist as you hid inside his jacket with him.
โooo youโre so nice and warm~โ you let out a soft hum against him as you felt yourself getting instantly warmer, only making you cuddle dean tighter.
meanwhile dean was trying not to have a heart attack at the proximity and the way you were so frickin adorable. the height difference didnโt help either.
the urge to grab your cute little face and kiss you stupid was so overwhelmingly strong.
he prayed that you wouldnโt notice his rapid heart beat.
and thenโฆ
โhey, look upโ dean whispered down into your ear, you slowly looked up to notice snowflakes falling from the sky.
you couldnโt help but gasp in pure excitement, your eyes instantly smiling. โitโs snowing!โ
โoh my god dean itโs snowing!!โ you exclaimed, starting to jump a little on the spot.
you let out a giggle as you admired the white snow slowly descending, taking itโs time as if time itself slowed down.
he absolutely loved it when your eyes did that little sparkly thing, that was one of many things he loved about you.
seeing you so happy like a kid melted his heart, and dean was glad he was the one that got to witness this moment with you.
he looked up into the sky to admire the snow as well, there was just something truly magical about this moment right now.
the world felt like it stopped for a moment, for you and him only.
a smile crept up his handsome features, and you werenโt going to pass up the opportunity to tease mr.grumpy here.
โaww look at you smiling~ if i didnโt know any better iโd be thinking youโre enjoying this.โ you cooed with a smile, your arms still wrapped around his waist, body on body contact.
โshut up.โ he murmured without even looking down at you, his cheeks blushing, although if you asked about it, heโd blame it on the cold air.
the two of you continued to watch the snow fall in silence, but not an awkward one. there was this weird comfortability between you two, even whilst you were all curled up into him like that.
โthis is perfect isnโt it?โ you broke the silence with a question, your eyes sparkling with pure joy of getting to witness the first snow.
your cheeks rosy pink and your nose slightly runny from the cold. god how could someone look so perfect and pretty while being cold.
dean looked down at you with a smile and a look in his eyes that screamed โiโm in love with youโ but obviously you were too busy with the snow to notice.
โyeah.โ his smile grew as he answered honestly. โyeah it is..โ