Fear, and for the last numbered meme 5,6,13,14 ic~.
Fear: What is it that my character is most afraid of when it comes to their own personal demons? Do they suffer from feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, worthlessness? Do they fear change, not having enough, being vulnerable, or maybe mourn lost opportunities?
What is it that my character is most afraid of when it comes to their own personal demons?
When it comes to his own personal demons, he fears the most that he will give into the temptation of simply ending everything. We can say my Akashi borders madness and sanity loads of times, but mostly, he's calm and collected, and even sassy if you will. But really, he wonders why there is a need to keep on living if he knows full well he's going to die eventually?
Why not save everyone the trouble of getting closer to him when he can just end it all?
(He also is trying not to fall into depression despite knowing he won't be able to play basketball eventually and at some point of time, only his memories and leadership of the MiraGen will be remembered.)
But he hates running away from a confrontation and this is probably what keeps him hanging to the thin thread of life and sanity.
Also, his rational side wins over his irrational one by weighing down the pros and cons of his decisions a lot, so --- Killing himself has a lot of cons.
Do they suffer from feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, worthlessness?
Yes. Akashi suffers all of those negative feelings.
First of all, since his proof of life is going to be how the MiraGen turned out after his death he's constantly insecure whether his decisions had been corrected. He always thinks of the flaws he has made and at least tries to make sure that he won't commit the same error again, but due to his overly critical mind, he still sees flaws even if his plans are already perfect (if viewed from another perspective)
He feels that he is an inadequate leader sometimes, and that is why before he pushes others to the extreme, he first pushes himself to a level more than extreme.
By working hard, beating himself up and seeing results, his insecurities subsides a little.
His pain, for him, is retribution to his inability to provide impeccable leadership for his followers.
Do they fear change, not having enough, being vulnerable, or maybe mourn lost opportunities?
Akashi doesn't fear change, not at all. As long as the change is according to his plan. He will feel uneasy if an unforeseen event happens. His mind will work overdrive to see the paths in where this event might take his plans and he creates new plans and circumstances to fit the change so that everything will still go according to plan.
He fears being vulnerable. He really hates showing weakness. That is why he doesn't cry, nor does he show signs of aggravation. If ever he does, then that would mean that his senses have gotten the better of his self control, something that happens not too often a times.
Really, he fears not losing an opportunity.
He simply has to create new opportunities.
5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
"Trust. I'm not an advocate of the first emotion. Trust is both more beneficial and professional. Ut's is much more powerful than love for love is only the compilation of other strong feelings you have for a person, trust being one of the most important of components."
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
"No. It's a dog. I will not risk my own life for something dispensable."
13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
"...To be honest, I can't remember too well."
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
"It's harder to tell someone you love them than telling them you don't."
"Admission is always harder than rejection."
