#phandom fbi

Surely you've all seen the much anticipated texting video. However, yet again our good, good boys have lied to us about something harmless and weird! Let's decide it, shall we?

In the new video we are greeted with this amazing conversation:

Which is featured with no header/contact name and has no other conversations before or after it! That's already strange and slightly suspicious, however we can't forget that we've seen part of this already before!

In PINOF 9 bloopers:

At the 1:51 mark we find out that these would be Dan's last words, and not only that but Phil has a weird reaction to it.

Phil: "What does that mean? Her pain places?"

If Phil received this text why was he so confused?

Why did one version have "stretch" and the other "work"? Was this really about a yoga instructor, or was Phil seeing someone for an injury from some sort of exertion?

Even more odd, they said these texts were from the beginning of the year, yet they did PINOF 9 in November. Was he texting the same thing to someone else?

We don't know the answers, you get to decide.

This is an interesting thread I found on twitter talking about what could possibly be DnP’s secret project! All research credits go to @//deathielhowell on twitter! She did a great job finding this stuff!!

Also @//justalilhowell on twitter added this image:

This is the company that Faraz Osman works for looking for people to work on documentaries (fact-ent)… just a little curious how relevant the subject matter is to DnP’s branding isn’t it? 

So today we got an ask from someone who wished to remain anonymous voicing this concern:

"So the infinity war ticket doesn't match up with the time of the instagram story. And Dan posted his instagram story two hours later saying he just finished infinity war. Explain please. I don't know if it's because they just wanted to get out of there before the fans somehow tracked them down through the ticket, but why did Dan post an instagram story six hours after Phil's movie ended. The only thing I can think of is that they're watching two different shows, but they said in their before Tour live show that they were going to watch it together? I'm confused please help Sincerely a girl who doesn't want to post this on blog directly in fear of judgement."

Now, I do have a theory for this! So let me attempt to assuage any fears or concerns any of you might have over this topic.

Firstly, I do absolutely believe that they would post after the time they went to avoid fan run-ins but I don't think that's all that is at play here. Let me provide the two instagram stories in question:

and

Now since I literally just took these shots I had to do a little bit of math to whittle down to the actual times. Since they're in the UK, they're 6 hours ahead of my time which means Phil posted his story around 8pm his time while Dan posted his story around 10pm. On first glance this does seem to be misleading as to when they went or if they went together. Personally, I believe they went together and they went at the time on the ticket, 4pm. But why did Dan post 2 hours after Phil? Because they were definitely busy doing something else. But furthermore, Phil didn't post his picture directly before going to see the film, he posted it after. The "Shook" you see at the top of the screen is actually Phil's reaction to having seen the film, not his anticipation of how the film would make him feel. See, he posted Tweet 30 minutes before he posted his insta story which corroborates the idea that his story was a reaction to the movie.

Dan, then, posted a story without any picture and instead as a white background with text at 10 pm probably because he was in bed already cuddling his husband. That story was his reaction to the film that he likely forgot to post earlier. Here's how I think it went:

They go see a 2~3 hour long earthshattering movie that apparently kills off all the best characters. Then, after sitting through the credits for the end scenes, the boys went out for a late dinner. On the way out Phil snaps his insta story of the ticket because when has he not been the guy who loves to keep fans updated?? Dan, still processing it and probably having that horrible dread one often experiences when finishing a favourite book in which characters you love die, has some cocktails and when he climbs into bed he realized he forgot to post a story reaction to the movie and quickly did so. Or, he let Phil do it for him due to the lack of typos Dan usually has on his posts even when he's sober.

tl;dr they saw the movie together, they are just celebrities who have to lie about when they go out so they can have a date in peace thank you for coming to my ted talk

Dan and Phil... are moving.

[title coined by an old ask]

Okay, okay, calm down. I know this has been a theory since the day they refused to give us a proper apartment tour. But listen--there’s so much proof. It’s our job to lay it all out for you and it’s your job to gape in amazement as you read through our slightly obsessive list of tiny quirks and hidden messages from our favourite english muffins.

Obligatory Condescending Disclaimer Time: Dap and Phap are entitled to their privacy. We have take care not to encroach on that by supplying evidence only found through their public content. We do not endorse stalking them or showing up outside their house. Now, enjoy.

First, the obvious clue. The cornerstone that we have built the entirety of this theory upon: the apartment tour [lack-there-of].

Second clue: Phil’s bedroom. Now, we made a theory that Dan and Phil share a room a while back, and this has been a common phan theory ever since the Floor Controversy of 2017. [I would link to it but due to civil war things it has been deleted from our blog, so instead I am linking to one of Emily’s posts]. We don’t think they actually share a room. As one of Emily’s posts on pfbi showed, couples can have separate beds [i.e. Eli and their fiance have separate beds]. However, the fact that Phil has such a small room seemed to inspire this mania in us all where we were convinced it proved they sleep in the same room, not to say they don’t sometimes, but it’s more clear that they probably gave Phil the small room because, as they said at one point, Phil gave up his room for the gaming room. He wouldn’t do that permanently, so it makes more sense that he shares the big room stuff-wise with Dan, and has his smaller room for sleep/videos because this condo is ultra-temporary! 

Third clue, the one that was really a linchpin in catalyzing this frenzy was Phil’s recent liveshow, re-uploaded by phanshows, in which Phil says that he melted a chocolate ginger on his sofa, which was a huge deal because he would “lose [his] house deposit on this place” [16:39], implying that their flat came fully furnished. Why is this a big deal? What does that mean? Well, when someone is commissioning or renovating a house, or a forever home, they often will be set up in a furnished condo by the company doing the work. Eli, one of our members, was a house cleaner for 5 years, and many of their clients would be moved to furnished condos anywhere from 5 months to a year while work was done. This suggests that Dan and Phil are either building a forever home or having an affordable house renovated for a year while they stay in moon-shaped flat they currently are in.

Fourth clue, Brook pointed out that the We're Moving Out video came out April 25, 2017 (so that's around when their old lease ended/new lease started) and the tour starts April 28, 2018. This is definitely interesting!! Speaking of the tour, isn’t it interesting that Phil basically said he won’t be doing liveshows for a while? In fact, no gaming shows for the foreseeable future [due to “shit wifi] and no individual or pair Dan or Phil liveshows? Sounds like they don’t want us to see something.

Clue Six; Take a moment and look at these stills taken from gaming videos leading up to the present:

What a progressive zoom... Perhaps caused by the edgy lens and a need to get the recording closer to have clearer images? Or...maybe to hide how much of the background they’re slowly removing from their video set..! This was the final clue, the final hammer strike on the nail of conspiracy and suspicion. Finally we’re all pretty thoroughly convinced these boys are moving!

They are likely packing up and having a company move their belongings into the new place while they’re away on tour. Then, when they come home we will all see their Forever Home and they’ll adopt their pet corgi/shibe mix. After all, it does seem like this will be the last tour from their tone about it.

Strap in, kiddos, shit’s about to get frickin’ radical.

Have you ever felt like one of the phandom’s esteemed detectives? Do you value knowledge more than any human being ever should? Do you feel the need to know and understand practically everything? If you said yes to any of these questions, then join the Phandom FBI! This network is for everyone who’s always looking for a second opinion when trying to decode Dan Howell’s cryptic tweets, or to figure out what a particular quote is supposed to mean. In the network, you won’t only get a second opinion, but also make a few friends! Here’s the info!

~There will be a group chat on Google Hangouts. ~There will be a group blog devoted to posting our conclusions.  ~There will be a set number of people in the network, but I’m not sure yet what it’ll be. 

Here’s how to join! 

1. Be following me (@phanisthetearinmyheart) 2. Like and reblog this post! (I won’t be checking because Tumblr’s weird with URLs and side blogs and all but I’m trusting you people) 3. Sign up here! It’s just a simple Google Form. All you need is a gmail account, which is very easy to get.  4. Be respectful of people’s triggers and just have a good time! 

Signups end on Thursday, July 6th, at 10:00 PM EST (USA) (time zone converter) and hopefully the members will be announced sometime the next day!