#peter g

You know what's coming, so let's just jump straight into it

*3 Peters sitting in jail together*

Peter G: So who should we call?

Peter H: I’d call Dr. Strange, but I feel safer in jail

Peter M: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday

Peter G: Wednesay

Peter M: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Peter M: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

MJ: You people already know too much about me.

Peter G: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Peter G: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Peter H: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Peter G: Yes!

Peter M: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Peter H: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Peter G, amazed: Wow...

Peter G, to Peter M: Well what does that mean?

Peter M: I don't know.

Peter M, to Peter H: What does that mean?

Peter H: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Peter M: You’re a hazard to society

Peter G: And a coward. Do twenty.

Peter H: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Ned: Tubular AF!

MJ: Mood to the max!

Peter M, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Peter G, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Peter H: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Peter M: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Ned: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Peter G: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

MJ: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Dr. Strange: Where's Peter 1, 2 and 3?

Ned: They're playing hide and seek.

Dr. Strange: Where?

MJ: I don't think you get how this game works.

MJ: What's your greatest fear?

Peter H: Being forgotten.

Peter M: Failure.

Peter G: Loud flushing toilets.

Everyone: *turns to Peter G*

Peter G: Those things are hell spawn, and I fought The Lizard.

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Peter G*

Peter G: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Peter H: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Peter H: *punches wall*

Peter G and M:

Peter H: Take me to the hospital.

Peter G: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Peter G: A theif.

Peter M: Thief?

Peter G: Theif.

Peter H: I before E, except after C.

Peter G: Thceif.

Peter M: No.

Peter G: I turned out perfectly fine!

Peter M: Peter, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Peter G: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Peter M: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Peter H: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Peter M: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Peter G: Are we in trouble?

Peter M: Take a guess.

Peter H: No?

Dr. Strange, appearing out of nowhere: Take another guess.

Peter G: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Peter M: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

Dr. Strange: God, give me patience.

Peter M: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Dr. Strange: If God gave me strength, you three would be dead.

Peter H: Welcome, fellow idiots

Peter G: Hello, Peter 1

Peter M: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot

Peter G: You underestimate me

MJ: Do you take constructive criticism?

Peter G: I only take cash or credit.

Peter H: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Peter M: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Peter H, tending to Peter G's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Peter G: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Peter M: *smacks him upside the head*

MJ: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Peter G: Thank you

Peter H: She didn't say that was a good thing

Peter G: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Peter H: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

More of the boys hehe

Peter G: Buying a sketchbook soon, I'm gonna try to be an artist.

Peter M: I thought you said 'arsonist' for a second there.

Peter H: He would do that too.

Peter M: Peter 3, keep an eye on Peter 1 today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Peter G: Sure, I’d love to see Peter 1 get punched.

Peter M: Try again.

Peter G, sighing: I will stop Peter 1 from getting punched.

Peter H: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Peter G: The car takes a screenshot.

Peter M: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Peter H: Why are you on the floor?

Peter G: I'm depressed.

Peter G: Also I was stabbed, can you get Peter 2, please?

Dr. Strange: While I’m gone, Peter 3, you’re in charge.

Peter G: Yes!!!

Dr. Strange, whispering: Peter 2, you’re secretly in charge.

Peter M: Obviously.

Peter G: Dr. Connors... my old arch enemy.

Max Dillon: ... I thought I was your arch enemy?

Peter G: I have a life outside of you, Max.

Peter H: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Peter M: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Peter G: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Peter M: Good thinking.

Peter H: Peter 3 and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Peter M: *Sighing* What did Peter 3 do?

Peter H: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Peter G: Who wants a steering wheel?

Peter H: Hey Peter 2

Peter M: Yes?

Peter H: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Peter M:

Peter M: Where’s Peter 3?

Peter H: Peter 2, can you pass the salt?

Peter M: *Throws Peter G across the table*

Peter H: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Peter M: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Peter G: Smad.

Peter H: We need a distraction.

Peter M: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Peter G, whispering: My time has come

Peter M: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Peter H: Okay, but in my defense, Peter 3 bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Peter M: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Peter H: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Peter M: Wasn't Peter 3 with you?

Peter G: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Peter G, asking someone out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Peter H, running down the stairs: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER??

Peter G: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Peter M:

Peter H:

Everyone Else At Peter G’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Peter M: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

Peter H and Peter G are sitting on a bench

Peter M: Why do you guys look so sad?

Peter H: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Peter M sits down*

Peter G: The bench is freshly painted.

Peter H: I think we're missing something.

Peter M: Teamwork?

Peter G: Cohesion?

SO LIKE

DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THAT ONE PART WHERE PETER G/3 WAS TALKING ABOUT ELECTRO WHILE THE SPIDERTRIO WAS JUST CHILLING ON THE STATUE OF LIBERTY

Because I stg, the way he said "You know Max was like...the sweetest guy"

I legit forgot that Electro's name was Max and deadass thought he was talking about his boyfriend or smthn from his universe and I was like: "Wait"

Oh yeah, it's more Spidertrio incorrect quotes time

I'll be using Peter H, G, and M to refer to each version (each letter for the last name of the actor)

Peter G: Life is pointless and we will all die some day.

Peter M: It's just garlic bread, Peter.

Peter H: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Peter M: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Peter H: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Peter G: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Peter H: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Dr. Strange: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Peter G: Yo Socrates, it's a fucking cookie.

Peter H: Peter 3, I am questioning your sanity...

Peter M: I never questioned it, I knew his sanity was missing from the start.

Peter H: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Peter M: Sure...

Ned: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

MJ: Okay?

Peter H: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Peter M:

Ned: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

MJ: Jesus, that one is a little-

Peter G, interested: No, no, keep going.

Peter H: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

MJ: *crouches down*

Peter M: *kneels down*

Peter G: *sits on the floor*

Peter H:

Peter H: I hate all of you.

Peter M: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.

Peter H: The cow??

Peter M: What?

Peter G: Peter, W H Y?

*An image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Peter M: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Peter H: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Peter H: if you want information it is

Peter G: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Ned: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?

Peter H: Strong.

Peter M: Weak.

Peter G: An idiot, is what your are.

MJ, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Peter H, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Peter G, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Peter M, appalled: Call the exorcist.

*In a horror movie situation*

Peter M: I've got no service in my phone here.

Peter H: Shoot, my battery just died.

Ned: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.

Peter G: Guys, my phone is a book.

Peter M: How late were you up last night?

Ned & Peter H, in unison: Me?

Peter G: No, not you two. You stay up late all the time.

Peter M, to MJ: You.

MJ: Christmas is cancelled.

Peter G: You can't cancel a holiday.

MJ: Keep it up, Peter 3, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Peter G: What does that mean?

MJ: Ned, take New Year's away from Peter G.

Peter G & Peter H in the back of Peter M's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!

Peter M: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*

Peter G & Peter H: YAYYYYYY!

Peter M: *orders one black coffee and leaves*

Peter G: I give up. I am so tired.

Peter M: Get the emergency supply!

MJ: *carries Peter H and places them in front of Peter G*

Peter H: *smiles*

Peter G: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

Ned: Which country has the most birds?

Ned: Portu-geese!

Peter M: That's a language.

Ned: Portu-gull?

Peter M: Good recovery.

MJ: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Peter G: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Peter H: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie-

Ned: Eyy, homie!

Peter G: But then there's cootie...

Peter M: Die.

Ned, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Peter G: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*

Peter M: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*

Peter H: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*

I will never stop at this point

Peter G: You know, some people are like slinkies

Peter G: They don't do very much, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs :)

Peter M: What the fuck

Peter H: Have you done this before?

Peter G: Well, Peter 1, it's like if you read the script you come better prepared.

Peter M: That's not what we do in the US, we don't read things.

Peter H: I don't read, Peter 3.

Peter H: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Peter M: Yeah-

Peter G: *kicks in the door*

Peter H: HELP! I TOLD PETER 2 I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Peter G, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Peter M: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.

Peter H: Peter 3 is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Peter 2.

Peter G: I feel like Peter 2 is the more responsible one of us two though.

Peter M: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.

Peter G: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.

*Peter H dies in a game with ships*

Peter M: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.

Peter M: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.

Peter G: Legend has it that Peter H still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.

Peter H: Of course I do.

Peter M: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Peter H: We have three actually-

Peter G: Pick your favorite.

Peter M: Peter 1 got into a fight.

Peter G: That’s bad.

Peter G:

Peter G: Did he win?

Peter G: Where are my fucking keys?

Peter M: Peter 3, Peter 1 is around, can you say it a little nicer?

Peter G: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Peter M: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

Peter H: 420?

Peter M: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

Peter G: 69.

Peter M: Yeah it was 69.

Peter G: *pitches an idea*

Peter M: Huh, there might be something here!

Peter H, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Peter H: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

Peter G: How?

Peter H: I need someone to take the fall.

Peter G: What did you do?

Peter H: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Peter M, from the other room: Oh my god.

Peter H: ...

Peter M: OH MY GOD!

Peter G: Make it a hundred.

Peter H: Deal.

Peter M: Peter 3, what did I tell you about lying?

Peter G, looking down: ...That it only works on Peter 1.

Peter H: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Peter 2?

Peter M: No.

Peter G: I do.

Peter H: I know, Peter.

Peter G: I’m sad.

Peter H: I know, Peter.

Peter H: Peter 2, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Peter M: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Peter H: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Peter 3.

Peter M: Wait- Peter, no-

Peter G: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?

Peter M: I gotta give you credit, Peter 1. You make it look easy.

Peter H: Years of practice.

Peter M: Peter 1 won’t wake up, what do I do?

Peter G: Did you try kicking him?

Peter M: Yes.

Peter G: I’m out of ideas.

Peter H: Dr. Strange gonna kill me.

Peter M: No, he'll probably make me do it.

Peter H: If you water water, it grows.

Peter M: ...What.

Peter G: He's got a point.

Peter H: But what about Peter 2?

Peter G: Don't worry about him.

Peter G: I once watched him fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating his hotdog like nothing happened.

Peter M: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen.

Peter H: Hot dog costumes!

Peter M: I’m sorry, what?

Peter H: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Peter 3, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Peter 3 hates hot dogs, so he probably won’t eat us.

Peter M: Are you saying that Peter 3 would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Peter G: I do hate hot dogs.

Peter M: Are you drunk?

Peter G: Only on the spirit of Christmas!

Peter H: And the spirit of whisky.

Peter M to Peter H: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Peter G, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Peter M: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Peter H: Can we go out to get icecream?

Peter G: Did you ask Peter 2?

Peter H: He said no.

Peter G: Then why did you ask me?

Peter H: He's not the boss of you.

Peter G, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

Peter H: How do you do that?

Peter G: I'm fearless.

Peter M: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.

Peter G: I'm mostly fearless.

Peter H: I'm not that gullible!

Peter M: Peter, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Peter H: PETER 3 TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Peter H & Peter G:*Playing video games*

Peter M: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games?

Peter H: *silence*

Peter G: *silence*

Peter M, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you?

Peter H & Peter G in shame: Yeah...

Peter H: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Peter 3 without him noticing?

Peter M: Hey, Peter 3, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Peter G: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Peter H: ...

Peter H: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Peter 2 is walking in this room.

Peter G: *wheeze*

Peter M: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Peter H, rushing in: Peter! Peter 3 tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Peter G: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Peter 1.

Peter M: You just said it again.

Peter H:

Peter G: I am not a role model.

Peter H: What's the signal when something goes wrong?

Peter G: We yell, 'oh shit.'

// Spider-Man No Way Home spoilers ahead

Take a bunch of reaction images I sort of editted of screenshots of Peter G in NWH

Just Spider-Man NWH doodles