#personally...

I remember making this shortly after the Pristine Cut release. Playing HEA for the first time and seeing Smitten as this smothering presence constantly putting the Princess in distress... Utterly gut wrenching.

Imagine someone who gets excited just thinking about you. Imagine someone who loves the things you say and do and who genuinely enjoys spending time with you. Imagine someone who feels lucky every moment they get to be around you.

It can be a real person or someone you just made up. You can imagine them praising you or laughing with you or touching you or whatever love means to you. It can be romantic or otherwise. Take your pick.

And if you had a hard time doing it?

Do it again. And again. And again.

I read once that it’s important for us to visualize being loved. That your brain needs to be trained like a muscle, and like a muscle, it can become weak from disuse. Your brain can only do the things that you practice doing, and if you never, ever visualize someone loving you, it becomes difficult to even imagine someone loving you. You get stuck in a rut. And once it’s impossible to imagine someone loving you, it becomes impossible to believe you will ever be loved.

I think… sometimes it can become easy to stop believing that we’re worthy of love. And I think sometimes we have this fantasy of someone making us believe that we’re worthy of it again. Or that somehow we’ll just — earn it, one day. Being worthy of love and desire, respect and affection.

But I think the truth is that we can only start believing that we’re worthy of love if we’re capable of imagining it. And it becomes much, much easier to imagine it if you practice doing so.

It may feel awkward at first. Embarrassing. Silly. Maybe even painful. But think about it like this, maybe: your first day in a dance class, you’ll fall. You’ll look ridiculous. It’ll feel like your body will never be able to do this fluidly. But by the end of the class, you’ll be able to move in a whole new way. Maybe not perfectly, but… better, y’know?

Learn to waltz with your own mind, and try not to cringe too hard at your first awkward movements. Start small and work your way up if you have to. Someone liking you, then someone liking your conversations, then someone liking your presence, then someone purposefully seeking you out. Someone putting time aside for you. Someone thinking about you when you’re not there. Someone being with you because there’s nowhere they’d rather be.

It may feel self-indulgent, but… I mean, we all deserve to be indulged sometimes. And we all deserve to feel worthy of love.

So… indulge yourself. Take a moment and have a silly little fantasy. Get into the habit of imagining love, and imagining it for the you that exists right now, not the you that you wish you were.

Learn to speak the language of love as it applies to you, even if you think that it doesn’t, and one day you’ll realize how to use those syllables to say your own name.

Dw....Just 3-2 months...

1) she fucked me in the ass so hard i was really sore after and for the rest of the day she’d randomly grab my thong and pull it into my ass so she could see me wince and try to hold it together

2) fucked my throat & slammed me down on her dick nd held my head down on it & when i started choking on it for real and trying to come up for air she plugged my nose and held me in place & then laughed at me when i was gagging and spluttering and genuinely almost vomiting 🥰

3) fucked my tits & made me stick out my tongue so she could stick the tip of her dick in my mouth with every thrust while i drooled all over it n myself

4) skullfucked me v hard to the point where i was covered in tears & drool & runny makeup trying desperately to stay alive lol just looking and sounding fucking pathetic and she kept pounding my throat. i was making a real effort but it was a lot and i was struggling when she was like “btw i’m fucking your ass after this and i don’t think i want to use lube. so you better put in some effort here because this is all you’re getting otherwise i’m going in dry” so she then basically made me beg to be skullfucked and whenever i’d start crying and gagging and choking again trying to pull off she’d be like “yeah sure just remember when this is going after” and then i’d just force myself to do it anyways and she’d just smirk and be like “yeah that’s what i thought” (we still used lube after bc of physical safety but it was a really hot power trip)

5) i was out with some mutual friends and texted her if she was coming out (bc i wanted to get my back blown out later hehe) then she showed up looking like the fratboy she is in like an army jacket and baseball hat and she grabbed a beer and walked up to me and the first thing she said was “so are you getting on my dick later? because that’s literally the only reason i came to see you” and i almost came on the spot

6) ignored most of what i said when we were sitting down having some drinks in my garden with friends and looked at my tits the whole time instead. after our friends left she told me she was more interested in my tits than anything i had to say anyway so i might as well get them out which i did 🫣 then a bit later she was like “oh god you’re still talking? don’t you have anything more useful you can do with your mouth?” before making me deepthroat my beer bottle and as i was doing it she went “just remember that basically anytime you try to talk to me this is what i imagine you doing”

7) kept threatening to come inside me and knock me up bc she was fucking my pussy while i kept begging her to pls pull out and she kept laughing at me until finally she told me she might come in my ass if i asked nicely enough so it ended with me begging her to pls pls pls put it in my ass even though i’d already said i didn’t want to have anal that night 🥺 (cnc!!)

8) riled me up sooo bad i was almost almost coming and then stopped and told me she wouldn’t make me come until i’d convinced her that her making me come was more important than my own dignity. ended up gagging myself w my own fingers down my throat, slapping myself in the face with her dick for five minutes straight and gushing about how her dick was my god, her asking me where she should shoot her next load and me jumping up, bending over and spreading my ass with no hesitation, bouncing my tits up and down while drooling all over them while she laughed at me, and telling her that i was a braindead dumb whore whose only purpose was to serve butch cock 🥰🥰 and then finally she made me come and i swear to god i blacked out it was so good

those are the more recent stories i can think of but i’m sure more will come back to me/there will be more in the future 🥰 sooo thankful for her and the sex we have, it’s literally all i ever wanted and more. also if you wanna tag this and maybe my previous ask so people can find it hehe i could maybe use the 🍒 emoji as a signature?? :))