✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: the scorpio season shadow work that transforms everything :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
so i've been crying in my car for three days straight and honestly? best thing that's happened to me all month.
hear me out before you think i've completely lost it, (tho depression has def been consuming me) it's scorpio season, which means the universe is basically forcing us all to confront the messy, uncomfortable parts of ourselves we usually shove in a mental closet and pretend don't exist.
and while that sounds absolutely terrible (because it kind of is), it's also the most powerful transformation tool you're probably avoiding.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ why i used to hate scorpio season ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
for years, i would dread this time of year because everything felt so INTENSE. like, i'd be minding my own business and suddenly i'm having a breakdown about something that happened in middle school or questioning my entire life path because someone gave me a weird look.
i thought something was wrong with me. turns out, scorpio season was just doing its job !!! dragging all my repressed stuff to the surface so i could actually deal with it instead of pretending it didn't exist.
getting depression this season has been worse on top of everything else that's been going on, in my life and the world. i've never been this deep into sadness and numbness. (my first time ever getting diagnosed with depression) and it isn't something i wanna continue going through.
well, shadow work isn't some mystical thing where you light candles and chant (though no judgment if that's your vibe). it's literally just looking at the parts of yourself you've been hiding from, even from yourself.
you know that jealousy you feel but would rather die than admit? that rage you stuff down because you're supposed to be "nice"? those insecurities you cover up with fake confidence? yeah, that's your shadow knocking.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ my most embarrassing shadow work moment ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
last scorpio season, i had to face the fact that i was lowkey obsessed with this girl on instagram. like, unhealthily checking her stories, analyzing her posts, feeling sick when she posted something amazing.
instead of just unfollowing her and moving on like a normal person, i decided to dig deeper. why was i so triggered by her success? what was she representing that i felt i couldn't have?
turns out, she embodied this confident, unapologetic version of femininity that i desperately wanted but was too scared to claim. i was jealous because she was living authentically while i was performing "acceptable" all the time.
once i realized this, everything shifted. i stopped seeing her as competition and started seeing her as inspiration. i began showing up more authentically online, stopped dimming my personality to seem more "professional," and guess what? people responded way better to the real me.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ shadow work that actually works ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
the jealousy audit ~ make a list of everyone who makes you feel some type of way. what specifically triggers you about them? that's showing you what you want but don't think you can have.
the rage journal ~ when was the last time you felt genuinely pissed off? not annoyed, but ANGRY. what was really behind it? anger is usually fear or hurt wearing a disguise.
the shame spiral deep dive ~ what's the thing you're most afraid of people finding out about you? write it down. sit with it. usually the shame is way worse than the actual thing.
the projection detective ~ what do you judge harshly in others? spoiler alert: you probably have that same quality and are rejecting it in yourself.
the people-pleaser investigation ~ when do you say yes when you mean no? what are you afraid will happen if you disappoint people?
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ why this creates the ultimate glow up ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
when you stop using all your energy to hide parts of yourself, that energy becomes available for actually living. like, imagine how much mental space you'd have if you weren't constantly monitoring yourself to make sure you seem perfect.
i started noticing that after doing shadow work, i walked differently. talked differently. i stopped apologizing for existing and started taking up space unapologetically. people started treating me with more respect because i was respecting myself.
your "negative" emotions aren't enemies !!! they're information. that jealousy is showing you what you desire. that anger is showing you where your boundaries are being crossed. that sadness is showing you what matters to you.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ don't do this alone ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
shadow work can bring up some heavy stuff, so please don't try to therapist yourself through major trauma. get actual support. friends, therapists, support groups, whatever works for you.
also, start small. you don't need to excavate your entire psyche in one scorpio season. pick one thing that's been bothering you and explore that. integration takes time.
⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆ the plot twist ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆
your "dark" side often contains your greatest gifts. that jealousy might be showing you your ambition. that anger might be showing you your passion. that sensitivity you try to hide might be your superpower.
the goal is to know you're trying to integrate them consciously instead of letting them run your life unconsciously.
so if scorpio season has you feeling like everything is falling apart, maybe it's actually falling into place. sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to get free.
and honestly? crying in your car at 2am while having realizations about your life patterns is kind of iconic behavior. lean into it 🖤
