(through gritted teefs) the world is testing me. i will be ok.
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(through gritted teefs) the world is testing me. i will be ok.

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i geuinely would be very pleased if eddieās sexuality is never defined because honestly !!! it shouldnāt have to be something that is defined !!!why would you trap yourself in some weird limiting definition for the sake of the clarity of others around you !!! if all you know is youāre into someone then that should be enough !!!
iām bringing a girl home?? you should be fine with it bitch. iām bringing a guy home?? you should be fine with it bitch. iām brining a non-binary/non-cis person home??? you should be FUCKING fine with it bitch. more characters with vague, undefined sexualities.
What he says: Iām fine
What he means: I spent all of my adolescent years planning for my future because itās what I was taught to do and I enjoyed hoping and planning and wishing a the determination of getting somewhere and the promise of tomorrow and now Iām living in the future I planned but itās not what I thought it would be and I never planned any further than that because my original plan got thrown out the window and Iām not where I expected and I have no idea where to go from here because no one ever told me what to do if things didnāt go according to plan because I was always taught that when you make a plan and stick to it it will happen for you and I was one of those kids who was always expected to make it according to plan without question and now Iāve been shot into the abyss and no one ever taught me how to live in the moment and take it day by day and thatās why depression and anxiety have been bad ever since the moment I changed majors the first time
augh today i have my first counseling appt;; im super nervous cause i honestly hate counseling. last time i did it, it was basically a waste of my time

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so sad you can only find one girl to run back and forth to bwahahah
Vodka is much more tastey than rum is
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā annabeth has always stood the test of time for me , Ā sheās always been there as my voice of reason ever since i first read the original series of books when they came out . Ā i related to her : Ā blonde , Ā shitty step mom who hated me , Ā a dad who tried but failed , Ā and a mom who could never give me the trust i wanted . Ā i remember acing my english , Ā language studies , Ā and history classes from when i could finally start to read all the way to when i graduated high school , Ā and i remember Ā the blonde jokes .
i remember getting told , Ā courtesy of my guidance counselor , Ā that i would never get as far in life as i wanted because of the stereotype that surrounded Ā my fucking hair color . Ā jocks used to pass me in the hall and ask how many of me it took to screw in a light bulb Ā fun fact : Ā i decked one guy and had detention for a week .Ā Ā i would get hit on simply because i looked easy , Ā and because Ā blondeās have more fun . Ā newsflash assholes : Ā we donāt have more fun . Ā weāre sick of being degraded because you all think weāre Ā bimboāsĀ who canāt even think of what the definition of a Ā bimboĀ is , Ā but i digress .
i have a complex , Ā just like annabeth , Ā where i think i can do better than others . Ā i have a god complex , Ā where my ego of myself is set so damn high , Ā trumpās mother fucking wall could never do it justice . Ā i understand where annabeth comes from when she thinks that she can do better than gods , Ā because i think that all the damn time . Ā i am so much like annabeth that one of my friends in high school who was reading the series with me called me annabeth for four years . Ā i act and look just like her , Ā right down to the blue / grey eyes . Ā Ā
i guess what iām saying is Ā annabeth is near and dear to my heart . Ā i understand her character , Ā flaws and all , Ā and i get why she reacts certain ways towards people , Ā because i do the same . Ā and i think what really gets me going , Ā and why i canāt bring myself to listen past Ā my grand plan Ā in the tlt musical ost , Ā is that i get what sheās going through . Ā i feel the way annabeth does : Ā i want to be remembered , Ā not for being blonde , Ā or easy , Ā but for being Ā me . Ā a girl who is finally getting to follow her dreams of going back to school , Ā who finally feels like sheās doing something with her life . Ā i want to leave my mark on this world , Ā and i will not back down so easy .