This is an interesting moment: coming back from being away for four days and realising I don't want to be around my partner. At all.
Being reminded again that sharing about something that brings me joy would often be met with a condescending attitude at best and a total killjoy reaction at worst.
Being woken up at 5-30am because he put in fucking shoes into the washing machine and put it on autostart at that time. Then not being able to disassociate away from his hand on my side to fall asleep again (I just don't want anyone touching me when I am trying to sleep!!)
Sharing some research on parenting with him, trying to explain that pressure would only make things worse, and then it does and I have to deal with that and him preferring to ignore the research.
And like... I can deal with it, round the edges, keep my hobbies and private life private (which I do to a large degree anyway, I have always kept my friendships and my interests separate, in case the relationship breaks, so I don't lose parts that are mine and are important to me), but I just feel like we are heading into a conflict. And I would rather live peacefully and co-parent and have free childcare from him when I need it, but sometimes I feel like I need to fight back, not just avoid.
Can one avoid for another 14 years and then just up and leave? Certainly possible, not sure this is my best strategy...
