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WAIT DID THEY RELEASED THE UPDATE TO SKIP ROUTE 0?
I CAN FINALLY FINISH A ROUTE
(If I still don’t finish a route, this was a Schrödinger April’s fool post)
Context: I played Route 0 with my friend -> they didn’t like the game so we decided to stop -> I have to replay R0 on my own computer -> R0 is fucking exhausting, I got to the point where Sirei and Hiruko are both hinting to tell us the truth before Eito [redacted] and it’s so painfully dragging
I do think it’s weird that I draw THL so much but I don’t like the game. But a lot of ppl say to judge it after you finish the 250+ hours game so IM GOING BACK IN THE TRENCHES
There are so many things I want to post about rn but my anxiety level for some reason is just fucking astronomical in a way that I just probably shouldn’t lol. Sometimes I wish I could grab myself by the shoulders and give me a good shake and yell “STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU” in my own face because…..wow lol. I have a lot of anxiety about coming off like an idiot who doesn’t know anything when I talk about DC (which is funny bc it’s literally all I think about and 2/3 of what I talk about irl) and it’s like….kit it does not matter. Chill.
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It's 1130 on a Friday morning and you just woke up, you know what that means!
That's right! Time for dark thoughts because you're a piece of shit who keeps ruining your life and you do nothing but make bad decisions and life sucks and never gets better and any time you try it either gets worse or nothing actually changes so who cares, nothing matters, there's no point, and at this point staying is basically torture and actually insane. Why keep doing this over and over again? Why keep feeling this way?
I am not sure how I feel about everything since I just keep finding out more stuff and it makes me feel worse and worse. I’m sad, and upset, and it feels like a tinge of grief. Not for my own dreams or aspirations but for Logan’s. That being said, I will continues writing my Baby!Loscar AU and I will continue/ start my other Loscar fics. I feel like it is a tough time and I hope to make it a little bit lighter.
I think my biggest feeling is overall disdain and disgust for how Williams went about this. My biggest issue is the whole situation being portrayed as “Williams is a business, this was a business decision. No emotion here” Businesses are not faceless entities, they are teams of people. It’s why teams put a lot of effort in PR and companies invest so much in HR. They are comprised of people and we as spectators and fans also play a role in the business that is Williams. Fandoms are profitable, fan content keeps people engaged, and those who are engaged spend money. This decision has shot William’s PR and whatever goodwill they managed to achieve last year. Logan is a martyr in the eyes of fans and James Vowles has come off as a deranged man. For the past month, any comments to the media are either of him passive-aggressively calling Logan a failure or thirsting after Carlos in a way that makes me want to call HR.
This decision isn’t even a money decision either. They talk about the upgrades, and need for points but are putting their faith in a driver that is clearly being brought up from F2 too early. They are taking risks that genuinely make no sense to me and I am afraid it may damage this new rookie’s confidence on top of it.
I cannot tell if James Vowles is doing this because he wants to live a bit wild before Carlos comes, has a vendetta against Logan, or he is just off his rockers.
I am happy Logan is out of there though and wherever he goes, I go. I hope he goes to Indycar. This is not me seeing Indycar as so lesser sport where unsuccessful F1 drivers should go it. I have great admiration for Indycar and genuinely enjoy watching it more than F1. My wish for Logan to go to Indycar is for the general vibe and how friendly everyone is and for the fact that I live 3 hours away from a track and will absolutely take PTO to see Logan race.
Personal feelings are below if anyone wants to read them.
I got into F1 last year around September but really dove into it around the beginning of November. Logan was someone who never really stood out to me in the beginning but I began to notice him more and more around October and November and I couldn’t help but sympathize for him. I remember how anxious I was waiting for him to be re-signed and the relief I felt when it happened.
I wanted him to do well and succeed so desperately and as it became more and more apparent that James and Williams, were doing, I became a bigger and bigger fan of him. I know I’ve mentioned it briefly on here before but near the end of last year and the first half of this year, I was dealing with a toxic workplace and an abusive supervisor. As the months went on, the treatment towards me got worse and worse and so did Williams’s treatment of Logan. Our workplace started to mirror each other.
The remarks, the veiled threats, the passive-aggressive comments that points to the same message “you’re under-performing, you’re not good enough”. Most of all, the expectation to practically perform miracles with tools and equipment that was vastly behind the rest of the field. I know very well how heavy and oppressive the work environment must have been. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to have to be doing it everyday, to have to perform for the public like everything is fine, and take the abuse from James, from journalists and commentators, and social media. I was already breaking under my supervisors treatment of me, I definitely would have snapped in Logan’s shoes. However, while my supervisor got kicked out of their position, Logan was the one who got kicked off the team. I do hope he takes the summer to enjoy himself and heal.
I feel so bad for him and I’m so upset at how I didn’t know this was his last race. I had Abu Dhabi planned out thinking that was going to be Logan’s last and now I’m just a bit crushed.
