#performative activism

I believe generosity is a psychologically complex process that requires emotional complexity to handle well and without contamination from ego, allyship as a form of generosity.

The mindset of the shitty and self-interested ally is unstable, and in most types of people, it will give way to frustration and "I finally gave up on these ingrates" and even "and you all should too," they have allowed themselves to be traumatized by the weight of the issues, but as "allies" they could escape, and now they want a balm.

But I have come to realize that what I was really after was validation. I was trying to prove to myself that my opinions were significant by pitting them against others.

And now that I am more secure in my beliefs I do not feel the urge to debate like that anymore. Quite the opposite actually, I don't like sharing my beliefs with anyone other than who I am closest to because it just feels like too much energy to be worth it. I've taken instead to trying to find subtle ways to live out my beliefs in my daily life without talking about them.

I feel like I don't fully have a place in most political spaces anyway because I have no interest in following other people's rules for how to do it "right," so even when I have strong opinions I end up just doing my own thing which probably doesn't look much like activism to others. But to me it feels like I am far more impactful by doing things my way than I ever did trying to participate in other people's methods.

It has almost become like a superstition to me that I should keep my beliefs to myself because if I share them I feel like I am being performative rather than productive. Almost the same concept as "if you tell people your wish it won't come true." And as a result some people just think I am apathetic toward current events and get upset that I am not more vocal about important issues.

Also, your point about people wanting to hate on a person so much that they disregard any apology or growth in said person is so true, and it's sad to see that this has happened with Noah. But it is good seeing him living his life now, glad he has friends and family helping to support him during that tough time.

The few people who are still trying to grab at straws are realising it is pointless and will hopefully give up soon and let Noah live his life.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I think one of the saddest things about internet culture today is that many people no longer know the difference between accountability and eternal condemnation. They are not the same thing.

Historically, every healthy justice system, every philosophy of moral growth, and every educational model has been built on the same principle: a person must face the consequences of their actions, but they must also be allowed the possibility of learning from them. Without accountability, there is no growth. Without the possibility of growth, there is no justice—only punishment for punishment’s sake.

What has always struck me about Noah's situation is that many people seem completely uninterested in the very thing they claim to want: reflection, education, and change.

When someone doubles down, refuses to listen, mocks the people they hurt, and continues harmful behavior, criticism is not only justified but necessary. However, when someone apologizes, acknowledges their mistake, publicly clarifies their position, and demonstrates through their actions a willingness to learn, yet still receives years of harassment, mockery, death threats, homophobia, and constant attempts to dehumanize them, then we have moved far beyond accountability. At that point, the conversation is no longer about justice. It becomes something else.

There is a psychological phenomenon in which a person becomes a symbolic vessel onto which people project their frustrations, anger, fears, and moral anxieties. The individual ceases to be viewed as a human being and instead becomes a screen upon which everyone projects whatever they wish to fight. I believe Noah has often been treated this way.

What also gives me hope, however, is exactly what you mentioned: he appears to be living his life. He has friends. He has family. He continues to work. He continues to laugh. He continues to show up. And that matters more than many people realize.

Human beings do not heal through public approval. They heal through connection. Through friendship. Through love. Through the quiet certainty that they are more than the worst thing strangers have ever said about them.

The internet often resembles a storm: loud, chaotic, and convinced of its own permanence. Yet storms are deceptive. They make us believe the sky has always been dark and always will be. Then one day, almost without noticing, the clouds move on.

That is why I rarely worry about those still desperately searching for new reasons to hate him. Their arguments become weaker because they are no longer responding to who Noah is today. They are fighting a frozen image of someone they decided he was years ago.

Meanwhile, real life keeps moving. People grow. Careers evolve. New projects emerge. New audiences arrive. The world continues to turn.

And in the end, history tends to remember those who kept building their lives far more than those who spent years trying to tear someone else's down.

So yes, I sincerely hope those people eventually move on. Not only for Noah's sake. But for their own.