So I guess this is the blog that is the catalog of all the stories of our school orchestra. Our school orchestra is... terrible. But also probably the best part of school tbh. And all of this is because of our âconductorâ (in the loosest sense) Mit.
Mit does not conduct when our ensemble is playing. She either 1. Whacks her bow against her plastic podium stand or 2. plays her violin over us. Really loudly. Impossibly loudly. I am not exaggerating when I say that if I lost 5 minutes of my life every time she whacked her bow, not only would I be dead, I would have never been conceived due to my parentsâ early deaths from hearing Mit play. Legend has it she tickles little boys with rosin, but I donât have confirmation nor the time to unpack that. She plays with so much force that she always has at least 12 broken bow hairs on each side hanging off and waving in the air. She wears roughly half an entire pencil of eyeliner every day and her hair looks like it could be a wig made of all the bow hairs sheâs broken. Quite honestly her instruments need a support group. She yells âtacitâ at us to try to make everyone shut up, but itâs become so much of a meme that it literally works the opposite.
And Mit isnât even the most we have to deal with. There are also the boiz in the back. 3 guys, 2 of whom are Indian (this is necessary to include because of the racism jokes), who sit in the back and antagonize everything Mit says. Itâs quite literally the funniest thing Iâve ever seen. Theyâve adopted a 4th member this year whose name (like everyone elseâs) we will not type, but hint: itâs not Shrethrik like Mit thinks it is. On the first day of school after explaining the syllabus when Mit asked if anyone had questions, all 3 acted like it was a press conference and asked her about gay marriage and the death penalty.
The orchestra managers are upperclassmen who decides against their better judgement to take orchestra the class (as opposed to concentrated study where you play in concerts as long as you have regular lessons with Mit). I wonât include their names obviously, but one of them is not named Ameny, like Mit thinks she is. They never actually play, they just kinda walk around and chill in Mitâs office. Sometimes she gets mad at them and makes them play. Mostly she doesnât bother.
The percussionists donât even play the drums. I think. Because they have absolutely no sense of rhythm, or maybe they just donât care. Theyre the ones who didnât have the motivation to be in band percussion, so theyâre just in orchestra now. They spend the entire period chilling in the back of the room on their phones, and Mit tries to get them to play, and it doesnât work. They all have crazy names, which I will not include, but hint: one of them is not named Maylin, like Mit thinks he is. Once Mit yelled for the violins, cellos and bass drum to play and when he heard the percussionist who plays the bass drum looked up, wearing earbuds, and just whacked the bass as loud as he could.
Because concentrated study is a thing, the orchestra is made up of freshmen who canât take concentrated study, seniors with a free period, juniors who needed a breather in their schedule, and sophomores who decided making Mitâs job as hard as possible was worth it. No one really cares about orchestra, and the entire room is always just chaos. Too much to recount in one post. So, weâll just try to take whatever happens day by day. Because itâs a hecc of a lot.
