#perchpaw

Perchpaw avoids Morningspot at every opportunity. Morningspot can tell.

(Perchpaw, apprentice, female, 13 moons. Responsible.) (Hopechase, warrior, female, 100 moons. Playful.) (Morningspot, warrior, female, 20 moons. Nervous.)

Iciclepool has had enough time to cope with her stress, and is no longer Afflicted. She and Hopechase go on an early dawn patrol to watch the sun rise.

(Iciclepool, deputy, female, 74 moons. Ambitious.) (Hopechase, warrior, female, 100 moons. Playful.)

Barleywave, Riversnow and Deerpaw go hunting before dusk - they bring back a very large amount of prey.

(Barleywave, warrior, male, 47 moons. Playful.) (Riversnow, warrior, female, 67 moons. Adventurous.) (Deerpaw, apprentice, female, 8 moons. Righteous.)

Branchsnarl trusts Tree to help her - HIM - with something important.

(Branchsnarl, warrior, ???, 13 moons. Ambitious.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 49 moons. Adventurous.)

---

"I mean, sure, Branchsnarl. I'm always happy to bring you hunting, but you don't have to hunt with me anymore. You're a full grown warrior now," Tree said with a smile.

"Yeah. I know." Branchsnarl said this while staring into space. She…she did not know how to handle this. Her entire body was tense, and Tree noticed it immediately. They gave a quizzical look, until it faded, turning into something else. Tree paused, then waved their tail almost too casually.

"Well, let's head out, then. Shall we?"

Branchsnarl nodded.

The leaf-fall was still warm, but the leaves began to dapple with orange speckles. Branchsnarl recognized the shifting colors from her kithood. Thinking about her…his…her youth caused unease to ball in her chest.

The more he…she…the more Branchsnarl thought about her younger…his…about Branchkit upset…them.

Fear. Relief. Fear.

"Branchsnarl?"

The young warrior tore their gaze from the leaves above and back to Tree. The both of them had walked over to the Glimpse Clearing. That…that surprised Branchsnarl, actually. That was fast. How fast had they been walking? Why was her…heart racing? Tree placed themselves in front of their former apprentice, wrapping their tail around their paws. Their emerald green eyes flickered with veiled concern.

"Hey, buddy," Tree meowed gently. "Your fur has been on end since we've left camp."

Branchsnarl blinked, then forced a laugh. "Have I?"

"Yeah. Yeah you have." Tree blinked slowly. "...You didn't actually want to hunt, did you?"

"...No."

"So…what's up?"

Branchsnarl started at…his…his former mentor.

Then panicked.

Branchsnarl felt his body scream to run and freeze all at once. Inside. The danger was inside. Can't run. Can't run from inside. Can't escape the inside. Can't fight. Don't want to fight it. Truth. Scathing, thorny, sharp, jagged, complicated truth. It hurt. But it was honest, true, liberating. Freedom. But she was scared. She thought of her HIS mother, sister, clanmates - would they accept him? Would they understand? Would they be disappointed? Would they expect her HIM to still do things a molly would do, she - HE, HE, HIS, HIM -

Body and mind found hope, clarity, safety, in the one cat who existed outside of every other binary that had ever existed in Branchsnarl's life. Maybe that's why he knew. He knew to ask. To talk.

"Tree?"

Tree was startled by the mere squeak that came out of the spotted cat. "Branch? What's wrong?" Tree stood up, a bit more concerned now that their former apprentice seemed distressed.

"Tree, I think I'm having a panic attack and I don't know what to do, and I can't ask my mom for help, because I don't know how to explain it, because I don't know how to explain that I don't think I'm a molly - " Branchsnarl's words became less and less coherent until they failed him entirely, cutting off into a confused, heavy sobbing. "I just - I don't - I wanna be a tom, and I just don't know what to do!"

Tree inched back a bit in shock, surprised by the sudden breakdown, but then everything fell into place. Their bristling pelt flattened. Their eyes softened and they approached Branchsnarl, pulling him into an embrace and letting out a continuous, comforting purr as the newly-found tom blubbered into his former mentor's shoulder.

"I don't know what to do," Branchsnarl repeated, sobbing. "M-Mom a-always said that she was proud of her daughters and - and happy that we've grown into such fine mollies and it just, it makes me feel just - "

"Wrong?" Tree finished.

The young tom's lips curled into a pained snarl, ears folding back. "I want - I wanted to be like Windfur, like Barleywave, and Riftgorse - and I just - " Great StarClan, he felt so pathetic. So mousebrained. Branchsnarl's words came out muffled and nearly unintelligible. "I feel like - like the Clan will just never look at me like they do with them, I'm scared of not being…of not…of not being a tom to them, to my mom, to Perchpaw, and I just - "

"Hey. Hey, kid, slow down," Tree interjected softly, pulling away. Tree genuinely couldn't understand Branchsnarl's blubbering. Tree's green eyes were firm, but still filled with understanding and wisdom - a familiar pain, scarred over. "You're panicking right now because this is all new. Take deep breaths. You gotta stay calm."

Branchsnarl trembled as he forced himself to inhale deep, trembling breaths. His mother taught him how to do that.

…His mother…oh, stars, he was so scared. Olive wasn't - she wasn't mean or anything, but he still had vague memories of her sobbing in the middle of the night, trapped in a hardened cast. He remembered for a while not having a name. It was such a brief time, but she seemed so miserable after…

Branchsnarl felt resentment boil for Owlkit. It was not their fault that Warblerkit was dead. It was not their fault.

But sometimes he was so scared that Olive thought so. Irrational, worming thoughts that wouldn't go away. She didn't name them for almost three moons. She got better, and apologized and all, but…but what if she felt like she was losing a daughter again? What if she hated him for killing her she-kit? What if -

"Hey. Branchsnarl, focus," Tree spoke, placing their tail on his shoulder. Branchsnarl looked up at them with wide eyes, and forced himself to take a deep breath. Breathe. Breathe. Tree's emerald green eyes flickered. "It's going to be okay. I'm here for you, and I get it. I've been where you are. Deep breaths."

Time passed as Branchsnarl forced himself to breathe deeply, taking in the gentle wind and the earthy pine smell. Songbirds chirped. Leaves rustled in the breeze. The sun was warm. The earth was dry.

After a time that seemed like many seasons, his heart slowed down, yet still ached with every beat. Tree blinked, then tilted their head. "It sounds like you've had this on your mind for a while."

Branchsnarl hiccuped, staring at the ground with shame. "Yeah…"

"How long have you known?"

Branchsnarl blinked. He looked up at Tree dumbly, as though confused by the question.

"I…how long?" he echoed.

"Yeah. When did you start thinking you may be a tom?"

Branchsnarl blinked. Trying to recall the thousands of times that he kept thinking to himself how cool it would be if he was born a tom instead. Somehow, never actually really clicking with that being an actual option, and now, thinking maybe he was too late to start, too late to change and look different, be accepted…

Tree raised an eyebrow, still waiting.

"...I…I don't know. A while? But I didn't…I didn't know it was an option," he answered.

At this, Tree sighed and threw their head back in exasperation. "Branchsnarl, seriously? Come on, I, a non-binary cat, was your mentor for six moons!" Tree finished with a laugh.

"Well I knew being nothing or…or a third option was a thing!" Branchsnarl protested, his ears turning hot as he thrashed his tail. "I just didn't know I could be - you know, the reverse option!"

"That…I don't think genders are opposites or anything - actually, nevermind," Tree took a deep breath and raised their paw, seemingly stopping themselves from going on a tangent. "So, you've been wanting to be a tom for a while, then. So, now that you realize that you can be," Tree's tail swished, dragging dried leaves and dirt, "you're afraid."

"Yeah," Branchsnarl mumbled, feeling his claws itch the ground anxiously.

"Well, I accept you. So no matter what, you have a supporter here." Tree meowed, offering a reassuring purr. "But, what's the root cause of the fear?"

Branchsnarl felt like ants were crawling up his legs. Great StarClan, no, he couldn't live like this. Trapped as a molly. He couldn't, but he was so, so scared of how Olive would react. And Perchpaw. Perchpaw had only ever known him as her sister and -

"Hey. Branch, focus, use your words," Tree flicked their tail in front of his line of sight, and Branchsnarl jolted, startled. 

"R-Right, right, sorry, I…I'm scared of…of being stuck."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"I'm scared of…of my family's reaction. And…I'm scared the Clan won't accept me," he whimpered. 

Tree nodded. "Anything else?"

Branchsnarl paused, trying to rearrange his thoughts in order. Yep. He was…he was scared of his family and the Clan not accepting him as a tom, and he's scared of being stuck as a molly. That was…that was it? "No…nothing else. That's…that's it."

"Okay, good. Well, first of all, you're not gonna be stuck as a molly. You have a couple of nice clerics and healers who know how to look after transitioning cats. Heck, they've helped me ever since I joined the Clan," Tree's tail twitched and their eyes beamed. "I've been taking lemonweed to mask my scent for ages."

"B-But what if it doesn't work?"

Tree paused at this question. Branchsnarl felt discomfort rise in his chest as Tree's expression seemed pensive - maybe they knew someone for who lemonweed didn't work? Maybe -

His thoughts were cut short. "Hey Branchsnarl, question for you."

"Y-Yeah?"

"What gender do you assume I was born with?"

Branchsnarl recoiled a bit, ears folding back, eyes wide. "Uh, that's - I mean, that's a bit invasive, isn't it?"

"Normally, yes. But hypothetically, do you think I was born able to sire, or dam?"

"I dunno! Tree, this is a weird question," Branchsnarl winced. He didn't want to think about Tree's reproductives.

"Well, look at my pelt," Tree invited, turning to their side. They flicked their ear, looking at their golden tabby patches splotched on their sides. "Anyone ever told you how a cat's colors work?"

Branchsnarl's tail twitched in irritation. Oh great, what was he, an apprentice again? "I mean, yeah. A cat can be any color, but for some reason, tortoiseshells and calicos were more likely to be mollies - "

Click.

Branchsnarl's tail thunked against the floor and his eyes widened. He blinked twice, then darted his gaze between Tree's tortoiseshell pelt, then Tree's face.

Tree's face became progressively more and more amused the longer time passed, and Branchsnarl felt his skin turn hot.

Oh stars. Lemonweed worked. It really did. Even with fur as clearly molly-coded as Tree's, nobody cared. Tree was always referred to as a cat, using they and them pronouns. Their scent wasn't only totally gone - ForestClan just accepted Tree. Despite seeing that Tree was likely born able to dam, Tree was just…just like him. Born as something they weren't. And ForestClan never misgendered them or saw them as anything other than just an ordinary cat who chose their own path. For Branchsnarl's entire life, ever since his kithood, Tree was always just themselves, and nobody ever questioned it. Ever.

"...ForestClan will accept me," Branchsnarl meowed, his voice small.

"And there you have it," Tree chuckled. They let out a yawn against the warm sunshine, before doing a once-over of their environment. Then, they lay down and tucked their paws underneath them. "The Clan will accept you as you are, and I promise lemonweed works. The medicine cats will probably give you some different herbs to give you tom-scent too, but I was an adult when I figured out my identity, and even then, treatment got me where I am now. You're young - you'll adapt just fine."

A heavy stone rolled off of Branchsnarl's shoulders, no longer burdened by its weight. He felt air enter his lungs more easily, and for a brief moment, he closed his eyes and allowed the sunshine to bathe against his pelt. Cloudthunder, Redstar, Hopechase, Iciclepool, the medicine cats - they would accept him. Call him by his name with new meaning.

…But…

Branchsnarl opened his eyes, and the second stone grew in size to replace the weight the other bore. Olive and Perchpaw. Out of everyone, he wanted them to still…still love him. A voice tried to buzz through his intrusive thoughts, like a small, tender bumblebee, navigating around a blooming flower.

They accept Tree. They'll accept you too. You're still you. You're just a tom, you realized.

But what if they don't? What if…what if Olive is sad that she lost a daughter? What if Perchpaw doesn't want a brother?

Tree seemed to notice the poor tom lost in thought again. They blinked slowly at him in reassurance. "You're going to be okay," they repeated.

"...I mean…I guess, but…" Branchsnarl started grooming his arm. "...What about…my family?"

"What about them?"

"What if they don't accept me?"

"Well, first of all, yes they will. But, if they don't, what are you going to do? Go back to being a molly?"

"No." Branchsnarl stopped grooming, his fur bristling. "No. I just…it doesn't work. I don't feel right otherwise. I'd be miserable. But…I just want them to still…" He trailed off. His heart sunk. He fought to stop the image of disappointed pairs of eyes staring at him.

Tree stretched their paws out, briefly raking the forest floor. Then, they got up. "Well, if they don't accept you, I'm adopting you."

Branchsnarl scrambled to his feet in bewilderment "Eh - what?!"

"Yeah, screw it. I'll do it," Tree chuckled, tail twitching. "They'd be missing out on a relationship with a real great tom."

Joy bloomed through his entire body. Tom. Someone called him a tom. Stars, he felt happy. Right. This was right.

"But, going to be honest, Branchsnarl, I'm pretty sure your mother and sister won't mind one bit. In fact, I'm so convinced that I'm willing to help you tell them, if you're ready for that step."

Branchsnarl felt his heart stop. Anxiety rose in his whole body again. "A-Are you sure?"

"Only if you are. You can keep it between us for now, or you can go public. Whatever makes you feel safest and most comfortable."

"I…I don't want to go back to being called 'she'. I don't know if I can stand one more day without being known."

Tree's tail twitched, and a surge of confidence came through their posture. "Then come on, let's practice. I know Olive well enough to know she'll always love you. But it can still be nerve wracking to reintroduce yourself, so let's hash this out…"

----

Branchsnarl realizes that she-cat doesn't describe him anymore. He re-introduces himself to his mother, Olive, and his littermate Perchpaw, with some help from Tree. Both are happy that he feels safe and comfortable enough to tell them this.

(Branchsnarl, warrior, trans male, 13 moons. Ambitious) (Perchpaw, apprentice, female, 13 moons. Responsible.) (Olive, mediator, female, 74 moons. Calm.) (Tree, warrior, non-binary, 49 moons. Adventurous.)

----

Tree was absolutely sure everything would be just fine. But, that's a hard sell to a newly-found tom, and they didn't really blame him. Tree was put in a similar position before - having to tell their father that they were not the cat they thought they knew. But what made things easier was the resolve to transition regardless of their reaction - because being true to themselves was more important than lying to keep a conditional love.

But in this case? Tree knew that Olive and Perchpaw would just be happy that Branchsnarl was happy.

In fact, they were so sure of this that they helped Branchsnarl dress up a bit.

"Okay, hold still," Tree mumbled as they combed Branchsnarl's cheek tufts out a bit more.

Branchsnarl was halfway between terrified and happy, his whiskers twitching. "D-Does it look good?"

"Real talk, Barleywave might be able to help you more with this, given that he has shorter hair like yours. But this does make your face look rounder, and you look very handsome."

Branchsnarl's tail shot high, flicking excitedly. Tree suppressed a snicker. In truth, they were only repeating what they wished others had told them when they were initially transitioning. They were glad that Branchsnarl seemed to appreciate it.

"Now. Did you tell them to come to the Glimpse clearing?"

Branchsnarl's tail slowly lowered, nervousness returning to him. "Uh…yeah."

"Cool. You remember how we rehearsed this?"

"Y-Yeah. I…I remember," Branchsnarl stammered.

"Good. And hey, look at me." Branchsnarl looked up. Tree gave a grin. "You'll be okay, man. Promise."

Branchsnarl sniffed, eyeing the floor awkwardly. Tree could only hope that their pep-talk was enough for the tom to hold it together. Tree tasted the air and sensed Olive and Perchpaw approaching from down the hill. They flicked their tail, and Branchsnarl dived into the foliage nearby.

As Perchpaw and Olive finally came face to face with Tree, the two mollies seemed wary. Perchpaw's ear twitched, clearly aware of Branchsnarl's scent nearby.

"Thank you for coming," Tree meowed, dipping their head. Olive's ear twitched, her sage green eyes flickering with apprehension.

Tree's whiskers twitched, then gestured to the bushes. "I'm here to introduce you to someone." The tortoiseshell looked towards Branchsnarl and nodded.

After a few, long moments, Branchsnarl creeped out from the foliage, eyes glued onto the floor. He sat next to Tree, refusing to meet Olive and Perchpaw's piercing gaze.

Branchsnarl swallowed, and finally spoke.

"Um…ahem…h-hi," Branchsnarl made an exaggerated first attempt at shifting his voice pitch. "M-Mom, Perchpaw, I…uh…I need to tell you something important."

Tree remained calm, even as Olive and Perchpaw seemed more and more tense.

"...What's wrong, Branchsnarl?" Olive asked. Her voice was calm, but her stiff posture spoke otherwise. Tree wished that they could reassure her, but this had to be something Branchsnarl did.

Branchsnarl shuffled, his mouth hanging open. Branchsnarl's pelt bristled, but after a few seconds, he sighed, then lifted his head to look at his family for the first time since they had arrived.

"I…I'm a tom."

The strained air between the family snapped and fell almost immediately, Olive's posture visibly shrinking, and Perchpaw releasing the breath she was holding, her blue eyes twinkling quizzically. Tree smiled, their whiskers twitching. They knew it - Olive and Perchpaw had no issues with this.

Branchsnarl did not read the room. He kept rambling. "I-I know that's a huge change, I get if you're confused, or - or sad, or upset, I know you've always seen me as - as a sister, or a daughter, but it's not…it's not right and I don't feel like myself when I'm called that. But the idea of being a tom - it's just right, like everything makes sense, and I just hope t-that you still - " his voice got faster and faster, until Olive cut him off with a laugh, approaching her newfound son and pressing her forehead against his. Branchsnarl's eyes widened with dismay.

Olive let out a sigh of relief and began purring. "Oh, thank goodness. I thought you wanted to leave."

Branchsnarl blinked twice rapidly. "...What?"

"I mean, it'll be weird to call you brother instead for a little bit, and I'm sorry if I mess up pronouns by accident," Perchpaw chirped, joining her mother in pressing her head against her brother's. Her tail was raised high. "But honestly, if that makes you happy, then I'm glad you discovered that about you."

Branchsnarl still blinked, dazed. He seemed lightheaded. "I…wha…wait," he uttered between breaths. "You still love me?"

Immediately, Perchpaw and Olive pulled back, exclaiming "What?!" simultaneously.

"What in StarClan are you talking about?!" Perchpaw retorted.

"Of course I still love you! You're my kit," Olive interjected with a furrowed brow, batting a paw at his ear. "By the stars, you really are a tom, you assume things instead of talking about it."

"MOM!" Branchsnarl hissed in protest.

"We were scared that you wanted to leave ForestClan! That would hurt more, honestly," Perchpaw said, tail twitching.

"What? Why would I ever want to leave?"

"Well, you were acting off and a little distant from everyone and hiding in your den more often since your warrior ceremony, and when we saw Tree here, a cat who likely knew the lay of the land…"

Branchsnarl's green eyes progressively widened as Perchpaw spoke. "No! StarClan, no! Never! I…I was scared that you wouldn't accept me," he finished with a squeak.

Olive bristled, her ears folding back sadly. "Branchsnarl, no. I could never reject my kit simply for finding their true self." A shred of vulnerability cut through the older molly's visage, pained by memory. "After everything that has happened - I couldn't bear to lose another child. I will love you, both of you, no matter what paths you choose to take."

The air turned cold with sorrow.

Tree felt their stomach turn to stone, but they were not surprised. Branchsnarl and Perchpaw were kits when Tree had joined ForestClan.

They knew that Olive suffered tremendously during childbirth. They heard about Warblerkit, and heard of the horrible storm that struck. Olive had struggled in her grief, but ultimately, learned to cherish what she had.

Branchsnarl blinked, stunned by this revelation. Then, he sobbed, and pressed himself in between his family, relieved and filled with love, purring all the while.

"Thank you," he whimpered. The two mollies pressed themselves against the young tom and purred in a chorus of comfort. Tree let out a brief purr, then stood up and placed a brief paw on Branchsnarl's shoulder, before making their way back up towards camp.

Their job here was done. Although, to be honest, they didn't even do anything. But, they knew as well as anyone that sometimes, someone being there to help make difficult announcements was all that was needed.

---

Branchsnarl went public with his identity, to communal acceptance. Branchsnarl was bewildered when cats like Hopechase and Redstar were not surprised at all.

(Redstar, leader, female, 77 moons. Strict.) (Branchsnarl, warrior, trans male, 13 moons. Ambitious.)