#perceptor x reader

Another expansion to the au where humans are a new species introduced to the pet market under the belief they’re a non sentient race. They become the trendy exotic pets in cybertronian culture.

Warnings: some valveplug 🔞

Rodimus

- paid way too much for you when off ship. Like way way too much. None of it was technically his own money though. I’ll give you one guess where he got the funds.

- dresses you up as a mini him, in a full commissioned cosplay which is the equivalent of lingerie with a helmet and decorative armour. What? (Your soft skin is just too precious to actually hide under a full armour set. That’s the only reason) Calls you miniRod. Did it initially as a joke because he thought it would be adorable but immediately started jerking it the first time he saw you in it.

- The crew is constantly asking where the supply funds for the month went and Rod just sends back photos of you with whatever new (insanely expensive) thing he’s gotten you this time.

- Has absolutely tried to pop you down at meetings to “stand in” for him when he’s “busy”. The other bots sigh, looking down at the tiny human smiling and waving at them, dumb and clueless as to what’s going on.

- Makes up a little theme song for you he sings whenever he pops you in front of someone. You sway along happily. It’s good you don’t know how condescending and explicit the lyrics are.

- Whenever he’s on a call, he’s playing with you in his palm, thumb stroking over your body or grinding you against the tip of his spike. I’d love to say he keeps you off camera but he probably doesn’t, not like they can’t hear the whimpers and wet noises. If someone complains he calls discrimination and files paperwork to have you officially recognised as a a concentration and productivity aid.

- You’re the LL mascot, whether the crew likes it or not. You have found the ship tannoy system and you like to babble down it and hear your voice echoing through every room, day or night. He’s never been so proud. He thinks it’s improving moral.

- Absolutely human valve/spike pilled. Doesn’t even care about the whole sentience debate. His decision making went as far as “wow this feels fucking great so it must be right”

- Puts you down and gets distracted, leaving you there alone, all the time. You’ve been left on his desk, in the meeting room, on the bar, and just about everywhere else at some point. Thankfully one of the other bots usually finds you just staring up at them like this

and most of them take pity enough to babysit until Rod remembers he’s missing something, even if they sigh and grumble about it. He’ll try casual about it. (Just know they’re only doing it for your benefit, not his.) Of course he knew where you were, duh. He didn’t and he has been running around looking for you for the last hour.

- One time he can’t find you and it’s been days now. brainstorm manages to find your heat signature behind inside one of the ship walls. He activates a ship wide emergency (it absolutely was not authorised to be used for this scenario) and it becomes a whole mission to cut you out.

- There’s so many stupid ways you would die. A) You fall and he’s mid catching you when he notices a bit of energon on his lip. He stops to wipe it off. B) He reads that you need UV light like a plant and puts you in a glass under an industrial lamp and comes back to you shrivelled to a crisp. C) The ships under lockdown with an active battle taking place and you’re wandering through the corridors with a spoon and half a ration bar, trying to find him because to because you’ve ran out of peanut butter and as usual he’s nowhere to be found. The list is endless

Whirl

- probably found you skittering around. Who knows how you got there. Literally the equivalent on finding a rat in the basement and keeping it as your shiny new (feral) pet.

- You bite him when he tries picking you up, probably growling and hissing. Tried spitting on that big yellow peeper. He has heart eye(s) and decides in that moment that he’s keeping you.

- Chases other bots around with you in his hand, while you yell and squirm, threatening that when he catches them, his little human is going to burrow into their plating and chew through their wires.

- Has no idea about humans in general but makes up lies to others just to horrify them about how you bite the heads off of your own babies if left alone with them, you detonate like a grenade is scared enough, and you live on a diet of mesh and metal alone. Riptide is terrified and has so many nightmares. Starts seeing Rung because of it.

- Initially would be just terrible. Likes to pin you down just to watch you squirm. Likes to hold you high while slowly loosening his grip to see the fear in your eyes as you scrabble to grip to him. You’re cute and friend shaped and it makes him hate you. Is it hate? He doesn’t know because he can’t bring himself to ever actually kill or seriously maim you.

- Over time he’s treatment would soften somewhat. The resentment sparked from your softness and dependence would slowly morph into a more protective tenderness. That doesn’t mean you will register it as such though

- suffers from unbearable cuteness aggression. Uses you like a squeaky toy in his pincers and likes to rotates his wrist while cooing “weee” at you as you’re subjected to near G-Force speeds. If it looks like you’re going to puke holds you over someone else’s helm to do it.

- For enrichment he puts you in a glass of water with another on top and shakes you like a margarita. It’s surprisingly fun tbh.

- it goes without saying that he’ll also use you as an excuse to commit chaos. “Hey, meat, i think you’re telling me to unpin this grenade and throw it into that storage closet.” You’re blinking up at him, eyes flicking to the grenade in his hand with terror. “Welp that settles it, you always have the best ideas.”

- I actually don’t see you dying with Whirl. I think you’d be the cockroach in the situation. You shouldn’t be alive (countless times over) but here you are sitting, munching on some crackers, and swinging your legs from your perch on his tiddies.

- He gets depressive bouts and it means you’re left to your own devices while he lies there, unmoving enough to convince you he’s offline. Will make himself get up to tend to your needs eventually but terrorises you (“playfully”) for it just to get the bust of whatever their equivalent of dopamine is it gives him.

- Loves fisting his spike with you in his hand or placing you on top of it to see if he can slide you down onto just the tip. You make out sloppy with the fluid outlet on top and it’s a game to you to ride that thing like a fireman’s pole while he giggles and puts you back on top to go again. Just shoves you right into his spike to feel you squirm around in there (certified freak). Pulls you out covered in his sticky fluids and probably dunks you in a cup of water to clean you off and tucks you into your nest with a little “kiss” goodnight (he bumps his head into and it always hurts)

- Has no qualms about fucking his pet especially since you clearly don’t possess the capacity to understand how disgusting and unfuckable he is. Who else would ever let him do this to them? He’s experienced the cruel hand of so called sentient and intelligent beings as they stripped him of his body and his worth and has decides he much prefers yours.

Megatron

- I’ve already covered Meg’s in another post but to reiterate: Probably took you to spite Rod, it definitely wasn’t out of pity or interest…nope. Sees you blinking up at him on the empty bar you’ve been left on for god knows how long…again, and finders keepers was enacted. That’s his human now.

- Trauma dumps, speaks through ideas, and tells you about his day. You obviously don’t understand a word but you curl up against his arm or hand, staring up at his mouth as it moves, sometimes falling asleep. Pretends any noises you make are very sound advice or philosophical interjections.

- Big guard dog energy. Won’t stand to have anyone mess with you or make crude remarks about you.

- Lets you wrestle his finger while he works, often ended with you pinned to the desk by it until you tap out.

- Sleeps with you on him, listening to your heartbeats and breathing. You become a certified emotional support pet and you’re going everywhere with him now.

- Another cuteness aggression victim. Where whirls is more to just have you squeak and squirm, megatrons leans more into the “I need to squeeze you until you explode or chew you to paste” side of things and it scares him because he would never actually hurt you.

- Writes (bad?) poetry about you and how he assumes you must see the world.

- All of your puppy dog eyes, and whining, and desperation would slowly break down his resolve. You’ll break it eventually. One day he just pops you down next to his spike and just lets you do whatever you want to him. Loves every second of it and the line is long crossed and far behind him. The guilt eats him alive but he just cant stop.

- If you die this dramatic mf is probably ending it right there and then (jk. Kind of)

Swerve

- saved up just to get his own human. It was the best day of his life.

- spams the chat with so many pictures of you. One of those pet owners who is taking pictures and fawning every time you do anything at all. “Look how my human was sleeping today🥺” “swerve it looks the exact same as every other time you’ve sent this.” “No. Look. Their toes are all curled up in this one.” “Here’s one of it now. Look at them gulping that water, getting all hydrated.”

- The bar is plastered in photos of you and selfies of you guys together.

- Mimics the noises you make back at you. Fully convinced he has learned to speak human. He hasn’t.

- Always hated being smaller than the others but now he’s thanking primus above because he. Can. Fit. Inside. Of. You. The universe has a plan for him all along.

- Often cums before he can even get it inside of you but don’t worry that just means you can sit on his face for as long as you want. Sentience isn’t something he can even bring himself to consider. He’s too busy drowning in that sticky human lubricant.

- You’re safe with this one and your only true threat is the copious amounts of energon and engex around. someone (whirl) probably plops you into a glass of energon and you are brought to ratchet who sends a reminder to everyone he is NOT a vet and did not go through extensive training and battlefield experience to treat peoples exotic pets.

Nautica

- buys a full terrarium for you and one of the only bots who wouldn’t just carry you around everywhere off the bat. Wants to see you in something close to your natural habitat which she has tried to research extensively.

- Likes to sit at her desk and watch you go about your business and grows concerned when you seem unsure what to do and stare back through the glass at her, instead of sharpening sticks and climbing trees. She thought humans came from a forested dirt planet. What’s wrong with it? She read there was a lot of water so maybe you’re aquatic?

- Notices you seem to be lonely and feels guilty because she doesn’t know what to do to help. She’s lonely too, so decides you can help each other and will regularly brings you out to play together and socialise.

- Her exploration of your body starts as just clinical curiosity. You’re so similar to her from your build to your face and expressions, and you have a valve/spike too just like cybertronians? Sparks a deep curiosity in her about if there is come kind of common ancestor or something.

- Knows humans have natural sexual needs and supplies you with lots of toys to account for that. Doesn’t know why you look horrified when your giant robot owner starts handing you dildos and vibrators. Maybe you just prefer using your hands like you do when you think she isn’t watching? Will assume you’re maybe just not the brightest and will start helping you along and showing you how to use them. (Nautica ily)

Riptide

- probably doesn’t even question why you’re standing in his room (someone definitely found you and didn’t want to take responsibility caring for you and his room was the closest). Shrugs and guesses he owns a human now. The universe truly works in mysterious ways.

- regularly posts questions about you to the LL group chat like it’s google. Only receives (deliberately) wrong answers. At least nautica is trying to help (even if she’s also wildly often wrong)

- begins asking nautica for information on humans and immediately jumps on the fact the your planet has so much water. You’re aquatic and nobody is telling him any different.

- If you don’t know how to swim your life expectancy has dramatically decreased. Made the mistake one time of thinking it was a stroke of genius to leave you overnight to recharge in a container of water and was traumatised finding you the next morning.

- following this, buys a tiny inflated life jacket and makes you wear it all the time, even when you’re nowhere near any water which is most of the time. You stopped trying to take it off because he panics when you do and hey, you can fall asleep with your head resting on it. It’s comfy.

- Likes to cruise around in the water with you on him when he gets the chance. Ahh, just like home, huh little buddy? You usually have no idea what’s going on or why you’re now inside a speedboat but it’s ok.

- It doesn’t matter how many people try to explain to him you don’t speak cybertronian, he absolutely believes they’re just shy. Crouches down and stares at you waiting for the day you finally talk back to him. “It’s ok little guy. You can talk to me. Take all the time you need.”

- When he finally catches you touching yourself he will apologise profusely and is so flustered. “Sets the mood” by dimming the lights and turning on some music for you. Proceeds to just stand there with his hands over his eyes. He definitely isn’t peeking through the comically big gaps he’s left over both optics.

Brainstorm

- Gets you for dirt cheap. He takes one look at you and thinks ‘that little thing is a fleshy juice box full of scientific discovery”

- Gets attached when after watching him grow increasingly agitated, rewiring and fiddling with his latest invention to get it to turn on again, you realise you know exactly what to do. This is your time to shine. As any intelligent homosapien would, you walk up to it and kick it as hard as you can. It turns on immediately. He instantly imprints.

- Now when anything breaks, he summons you to do your thing (to varying success) documents as a point of significant interest that humans appear to have an instinctual inclination to attempt to fight metal objects. Fascinating.

- Publishes his findings on your behaviours but not to the result you would hope for. Anyone responding to said research claiming that this is clear evidence of sentience is shut down by him immediately. Complex problem solving and tool use? Learned behaviours to gain nutritional based rewards. Being given the middle finger and yelled at when he took something from you? Simple mimicry from observation. The time they tried to get him to touch their valve/spike? Attention seeking and bond building behaviour to secure protection and trust. Mocks sentience truthers by stating they’re simply anthropomorphising their pets like idiots.

- In a similar vein, his idea of enrichment is akin to psychological torture. Builds you complex puzzles and smugly states your inability to solve them is further proof of your inferior cognitive functioning. No other bot on the ship could solve these puzzles even held at gun point.

- Builds you a 3 story fully operational mini habsuite filled with automated gadgets and operation systems that probably break several intergalactic laws. Exhausted by the fact you prefer to sit in a box filled with packing peanuts to watch him work.

- Will you survive brainstorm? Probably not. Will this freak no doubt have found a way to clone you or your brain to find a way to keep bringing you back? Unfortunately for you probably.

- Let alone risk to yourself under his ownership, let’s not forget the list of intergalactic crimes you’ve unknowingly amassed. You pushed one of his stupid things off the table because he said no to more treats. It was a quantum destabiliser and you’ve just imploded countless other dimensions. The electronics you helped him wire? That caused the genocide of a sentient bird race.

- Would not lower himself to frag a mere animal. All your attempts to stimulate yourself or try to have him aid you are met with morbid fascination though and it has his evil science brain lit up like a Christmas tree.

Perceptor

- you were given to him by brainstorm as a white elephant gift. He thought it would be funny but lo and behold, now perceptor has gotten insanely attached.

- Researches everything extensively before allowing you to interact with it. Has read 17 different articles before handing you a blanket. Scanning the ph of your water 3 times (just to be sure) before you can drink it. Before any other bot is allowed to handle you, they have to fully decontaminate their servos under his supervision.

- Rewards every single thing you ever do with sugary treats. It’s definitely promoting bad habits (and weight gain). You yawn? “Look at my little human showing their denta to ward off predators. Good job!” you begin stealing little objects you can carry? “Ah you’re showing off your catching and hoarding instincts. Very good!” You bite a mech? “What a fearsome predator. Wonderful defensive display!” Will defend anything you ever do as you’re “completely innocent and just following your instincts.”

- Watches you problem solve. Recognises the complex patterns in your vocalisation. Fascinated by your testing of boundaries and pattern recognition. Although he never once thought you were stupid, the level of intelligence emerging before him leaves him deeply troubled. Sits on this information for now because he doesn’t even want to consider the implications.

- Tries to always offer you choice and autonomy when he can. Lets you pick what you want to wear, eat, do with your day. It at least suppresses the growing guilt gnawing at him. Regularly reminds himself that if he doesn’t keep you, you’d just become a pet to someone else. Someone who doesn’t see in you what he does.

- A bot of morals. Would never act on his own desires or impulses but would let you rub and grind on his body and servos to see to your needs. It’s simply your biological requirements to seek a mate. Gives you a treat when you finish.

Skids

- never intended to end up with a human. He probably saw you being kept in terrible conditions at a market off the ship. The shopkeeper saw him looking and warned him you bite, refuse food, and urinate maliciously. They try to entice him with better specimens but he’s always had a soft spot for damaged, overlooked things.

- At first he feels awkward having you around. Doesn’t really know what to do with you or himself. You recognise the familiar dissociative and despondent episodes he has. You begin trying to tug on his servo and call out to him redirect him. You know how it feels to be alone worthless and when he sees the recognition there in your eyes - just two truly beings seeing each other, you have stolen his spark.

- Who’s the pet in this relationship? It’s unclear to the crew.

- You have to become a little demanding. You learn to (loudly) let him know you’re hungry, thirsty, tired, bored and so on. he’s learned quickly to interpret these demands and will meet all of them without delay. He’s trying his best but he gets forgetful about how many needs you have. He initially had reminders set to ping him regularly but he’s delighted that you seem more than able to keep him on task.

- He responds well to pointing. You point at something? He’s on it. You point at a door? Doesn’t matter where it leads he’s carrying you in to look. You point at a bot? He’s holding you up to their face to get a better look (no matter how uncomfortable they look at the surprise human almost nose to nose with them.) you point at a sign? He’s immediately reading it out to you slowly pointing to each word as he says it.

- Expects everyone else to comply with the pecking order. If you fall asleep at the bar he’s loudly shushing anyone making a sound while glaring. If you want something someone has he expects them to hand it over to you. If you try to interact with another bot he’s expecting them to give you attention back and dote on you.

- If you want to play with his spike or valve who is he to say no? Want him to touch you and make you feel good? He’s at your beck and call.

- Would sacrifice himself in a blaze of glory before he ever let anything even moderately uncomfortable happen to you. You’ll live forever. He’ll just not let you die. It’s not allowed. Manifests your immortality through sheer willpower alone.

- It’s truly your world and everyone else is living in it. Skids wouldn’t have it any other way.

Cyclonus/tailgate

- you were purchased as an emotional support animal for tailgate after much begging.

- This guy carries you around under your arms like a cat and pats your head to calm down. Cyclonus grunts at you and acts like he wants nothing to do with you. Makes tailgate promise to not say a word when he walked in on him scratching your chin and hand feeding you while cooing that you’re such a well behaved little fleshling.

- Throws a blanket over your head when they want alone time. Originally, cyclonus would open the door and just dump you outside while pointing down telling you to “sit. Stay.” But tailgate vetoed that when you’d shrugged and gone wandering instead, leading to a full panic attack from the small bot.

- As a present, cyclonus buys him the equivalent to one of those front facing baby carriers to carry you in which delights him to no end because now his hands are free for more petting at all times.

- Tailgate approaches cyclonus with a 15 slide PowerPoint presentation around the health and psychological benefits of using his pet for stress relief through interfacing. Cyclonus can’t say no to him. he’s occupying in the cuck chair long before he decides to join. Bonus if you try throwing the same blanket he uses for you at him one time. You’re immediately shut in drawer for mandated time out.

Rung

- Got you because he was curious to study first hand the psychology and mental capacity of these trendy new companions everyone wants. You immediately cause a catastrophic existential crisis in the poor guy.

- He begins flooding the web with extensive research and hypothesis. His conclusion? Adamant and immediate sentience truther. Argues tirelessly on forums with other good faith researchers and ragebaters alike. Screaming internally that nobody, not even his some of his own crew, is taking him seriously when he has the proof. It’s right in front of him staring at him on his desk

- Plies you with enrichment activities and treats you like a roommate rather than a pet. Sounds out cybertronian words, desperately trying to teach you to speak. when you eventually manage to say his name back to him, he cries. When he reads a comment of someone calling it simple mimicry behaviour (probably brainstorm on an anon account lmao) he wants to puke.

- Rung recruits Perceptor, Swerve, Dift, Skids, and Riptide (megs would attend but he just can’t bring himself to endure the constant human fragger allegations. He’s wallowing in enough shame as it is. Background supporter) to create the ships human sentience movement. They bring their pets together to socialise and discuss new interesting things they’ve noticed about their behaviour. They’ve dubbed it “OCO”. It stands for opposable thumbs. Complex emotions. Obviously sentient.

- Lets you help him build his model planes. His spark melts at your giggles when he lets out sit inside them and “flies” you through the air in his hand.

- Can’t sleep at night, thinking about the scenario that his people will never accept the truth, and equally the scenario of what will happen if they do

- Takes you to therapy sessions with him. Lets you doodle on his datapad throughout and can’t help but make eye contact with you when the bots aren’t looking. You’re grimacing and pointing a thumb at the sobbing mech. You can’t even understand them and you still seem to pick up on the fact that everyone here is insane and/or deeply traumatised. Yeesh. He nods back solemnly.

- Will absolutely not let you engage inappropriately with him. He’s just too aware of the psychological impact and power imbalance at play. It will make him feel so guilty when you try, a reminder that you have been stripped from your natural habitat and ability to find an appropriate mate. Sources you human porn to meet your needs. Absolutely has not watched it, while fisting his spike or teasing his valve, imagining you in their place.

Drift

- Sees you in someone else’s poor care and initiates a covert surprise adoption.

- Frankly disgusted by the people arguing against human sentience. Believes all living beings are deeply spiritual and sentient in their own unique way. No being is lesser than another in his eyes.

- On this note, if someone refers to you as an “it” in front of him, he’s fighting the urge to throw down. Will take the moral high road, pick you up, and take his leave. Apologises to you profusely for their lack of enlightenment

- Treats you like a little oracle. You sneeze? It’s a sign for him to stop and reconsider his current course. You fall over or become unsettled? It’s an omen and he becomes hyper vigilant for the rest of the day. You’re at peace napping on or nearby him, looking content? Its a reminder he needs to act as you do, and take time to pause and reflect.

- Similarly he sees you as a deeply spiritual and emotionally intuitive creature. If you take a disliking to a bot you meet he takes your lead. You must be recognising something dark within them. If you take to a bot, similarly sees this as confirmation they have a pure spark and good intentions. Life is the a changeable sea and he’s using you to navigate it like a magic 8 ball.

- Melts when you join him, crossed legged when he meditates. Would give up a limb to know what you think about during this time. When you eventually get bored and start prodding and pestering him, accepts this is simply the time to stop. You’re so wise, little one.

- Tries teaching you mantras. Chuckles while petting you enthusiastically when you try babbling them back at him badly.

- Sees his impure thoughts and urges about you as a divine given test of character and virtue. It terrifies him that he feels like it’s one he’s losing. When he eventually gives in, changes his mind and decides you were given to him with this purpose included, as nothing has ever felt as holy and sacred as having you writhing under his touch.

Ultra Magnus

- Confiscated paperwork from another bot and that apparently contained the rights to your ownership. As per legal protocol, assumes responsibility and ownership of you. It’s the right thing to do.

- ever served in the military? Now you have.

- Your life runs to the minute now. It’s your 6 hourly mandated nutritional intake time, my pet. open wide. It’s your hourly mandated hydration time, human. Drink it all now. Out of your nest right now, human, for have reached your allocated 8 hours of recharge for this day. You’re not moving out of your litterbox until you go, little one. The manuals state you should experience the urge to urinate every 4 hours and you’re an hour late now.

- It truly comes from a good place. He’s read so many manuals on human care that he simply must follow them to a T, lest you succumb to a myriad of ailments.

- Creates a rota for the crew of allocated babysitting times. Refers to this as your mandated socialisation and enrichment periods. Everyone has to sign an extensive documentation stating they take full legal responsibility for your wellbeing and safety while under their care and failure to comply with the above terms will be punishable by law. (Whirl is not included in the rotations.)

- To his horror he has to update this document to state that any form of sexual stimulation of human companions is a serious, punishable offence, no matter how much the human tries to initiate.

- Sometimes, though, he pretends not to notice when you rub on and grind against his servos. It’s the only rule he’s set that he will turn a blind eye to himself because he’d rather it be him than someone else with less integrity

- Sneaks you extra treats and lets you nap without waking you up when nobody is looking. It’s his little secret and he knows you’ll not tell on him (even if you could). Wow you’re turning this guy into a true rebel (/s)

Chromedome/rewind

- rewind begged and begged to get you. Chromedome is worried it’s all going to be too much time and effort

- He quickly becomes inseparable from you much to rewinds amusement

- Rewind, much like swerve, has entire databanks dedicated to you. Doesn’t post you to the group as often as swerve because he loves having them all to himself (and chrome of course)

- Rewind ends up being the one to tend to your needs the most. It’s therapeutic for him to see you thriving and doing well and knowing it’s because of them. Chromedome gets insecure and competitive when it comes to who’s your “favourite”

- They let you watch/ read through archives and amuse yourself on their console. They obviously don’t think you understand anything you’re seeing and just enjoy the sounds and colours from the footage. Your intense interest in the cybertronian logs is perceived as simple curiously in the shapes of the words. When you begin to make a habit of copying down the words you’re reading onto the datapad. Rewind has to give regular reassurance to chrome that this is just simple mimicry and he shouldn’t read too much into it.

- let you chill on the berth when they frag, neither that put off by your presence. If you ever try to join them, they begrudgingly let you lie on whoever is on the bottom, in the middle of the metal sandwich. You’re soaking in the distracted petting when they’re not too lost in the moment. There’s absolutely been “accidental” slips into the wrong (tight, wet human) hole.

Ratchet

- didn’t want a human. Has no need for a human. Doesn’t like humans. Too busy to care for a human

- Acquires a human. No doubt you were found injured and brought to him like roadkill after being half smooshed under a ped.

- Decides immediately he liked you better comatose and held dead. Now you’re better and causing too much stress for what you’re worth.

- You try keeping him company during his long nights, always eventually falling asleep leaning on his arm or servo. It makes his spark ache. Stopped trying to put you somewhere more comfortable because how upset it makes you. Figures you’re lonely and he could use the company anyway, as long as you behave.

- You start passing him tools and things on his desk to be helpful. He doesn’t even bother to look down as he takes them and mumbles “thanks” while giving you a single pat on the head. It encourages you to keep doing it thinking you’re being helpful. You’re not. He grows frond of it anyway.

- Talks you through what he’s doing because it helps him think. You look like you’re enjoying listening to him speak anyway.

- Doesn’t let anyone hold you or babysit you. He’s seen first hand how irresponsible the bots round here can be. You’re much safer with him.

- Let’s you explore round the medbay and do your own thing, grumbling that your wellbeing is your own responsibility. He’s always watching you out the side of his eye though, ready to intervene.

- Begins reading studies on the anatomy and physiology of humans and other carbon based life forms similar to you for fun. He’s absolutely horrified how complex but inefficient our systems are.

- Sprays you with a bottle with like a cat any time you try to “mate” with him or rub on him. Threatens to castrate you (he won’t though dw)

sure!! A lil less pathetic as not to be too ooc and j was struggling sm with his helmet for some reason 😭😭 He's one to like burying his obsession under all his scientific talks, but honestly even when with his darling, his mostly stoic facade doesn't fall off easily... only rare moments where his words seem a little more personal would make you wonder what he really thinks of you

No text ver

🤣 aww. I’m dying because I’m at work and the first batch of charms/pins were just delivered- I’m really hoping they look halfway decent. Tempted to use my lunch break to run home and grab them since I’m still only eating once a day anyway, but then I’d have to deal with my overly curious boss wanting to poke through them 😭 I do want to make more crybaby charms since I’ve started watching tutorials for Procreate instead of just BSing my way through figuring it out and realized I can copy my Wasp lineart to make a base instead of redrawing the base I came up with every darn time. I just have to figure out what TFs to pick on

Soft AU- Cold

Perceptor x Reader

• Venting to pull pleasantly chilly air into himself, he moves through the base. And can’t help but notice the little humans don’t seem to be enjoying the cooler weather as much as he and the other Cybertronians are. Staring when he spots one jogging by, they’re so bundled up it takes him a klik to recognize it’s you. With that plush covering you’re wearing and have layered with a soft looking ribbon of material wrapped around your neck and the lower half of your face, there’s not much showing of you except your eyes, but he’d know those eyes anywhere.

@transformers-spike @berracids

Here's an idea seeing this picture,Of TFA Perceptor being closeted humanfragger(Yk the equivalent of us monstersf*ckers),The forums,the chats,fanarts,HumanxReader...

Like the most these human kinkers do get into human internet and fantasize stories with pictures they find of random ass humans in fb,insta,twitter-...and Percy here is your fan

So I'm a teacher, right?

Ended up working with preschoolers/fist graders. So I use a lot of songs for all my classes on a daily basis.

I... Tried to ring the devil's doorbell recently and I couldn't get off because I was haunted by the songs we put in class because they're so horribly catchy 😭😭😭😭 mood ruined for forever

I’m sorry, but the only kid’s song that comes to mind is baby shark because my cousin’s kid loves it and I know that’s not the song, but I’m dying. 🔞 MDNI mass displaced mech 🌶️

Soft AU- Colors

Perceptor x Reader

• Fans cycling on as his spike stirs behind his modesty panel to make him shift uncomfortably on the bench in his wash stall, he can’t tear his optics away from you. Wearing his colors and patterns. Your covering a blatant declaration that you’re his. That you’ve chosen him. Rumbling softly, the coaxing sound has an aggressive edge to it, but you don’t seem to notice. Holding your arms out and giving him a bemused smile. “What do you think?” You ask.

“Responsible” GN Autobot Reader x various, Mainly Ratchet, Wheeljack, Hoist, Perceptor. [Smut Scenario]

Summary: Reader gets their obsolete heat protocols triggered during a battle. Horny shenanigans follow with some of the Autobots trying to be responsible.

G1 characters: Ratchet, Wheeljack, Hoist, Perceptor. (Various other Autobots and Decpticons are also mentioned here at the start)

Genre/Theme: Smut Scenario 🔞

Warnings: MDNI, Heat cycles and the other horny nonsense it usually entails, Voyeurism, Interface toys.

Pronouns: You, Your, Yours

Notes: Starts Ratchet pov and goes to Wheeljack for the most of the smut. The start of this is absolute shenanigans I will not lie to you, Spike/Valve terms used for Bot Reader, The science and Medical team on the Ark trying REAL hard not to be perverts. (They only partially succeed)

⋆❀˖° perceptor x human fem reader 18+

-> warnings/tags: minors dni, some fluff, explicit content, semi-ish public sex but not rly. 3.1k words.

ehehehe i know the pookie behind this anon ask >:) i hope u enjoy my love <3 i tried to make it as in-character as possible LOL

— - — - ᰔᩚ - — - —

Lounging back on the large, cushioned chair that Perceptor managed to salvage from the wreckage of an organic ship, you gaze over the starry sky through the observation dome. The canvas of the stars is so vast that sometimes you find it difficult to comprehend it as real. You have one leg swung over the other, tapping your foot to a silent rhythm.

Perceptor is a short distance from you, helm angled down to look through the optic piece of a complex telescope. It's constructed of about a dozen different Cybertronian devices, using a technology that far exceeds your understanding. He could name each part and function with ease, rattling them off without a second thought.

You can hear the quiet clicks of his deft digits adjusting the dials, each turn a deliberate action to calibrate the scientific device to the specifics that he requires. He mumbles under his breath in his native tongue, leaving you none the wiser over what he could be saying.

Regardless, you just enjoy watching the stars whilst having his company. He's provided you with mini booklets in the past to explain different constellations, as well as some little fun facts here and there. You never fail to pick up on the gleam in his optics when you ask him a related question, noting how he enjoys teaching you about a topic he's so zealous about.

"Do they talk back to you?" You ask, lolling your head to the side to look at him.

Perceptor stops his fine-tuning, pulling his helm back from the scope to return your look, "Does what talk back to me?"

You huff a laugh through your nose, "Your tools and instruments. I've noticed that you talk to them a lot."

Perceptor purses his derma in thought as he vocalises a short hum, nodding his helm a couple of times. The habit never even occurred to him, he talks to his instruments without even meaning to. A dusting of blue appears over his faceplate, rather uncharacteristically.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," you chuckle softly.

"No, you didn't," Perceptor responds quietly, "I just realised that you're right. I suppose sometimes my tools are the best company."

"I'll try my best not to take that to heart," you grin at him, not at all genuinely offended.

Perceptor looks away from you, back to the lens of the telescope. "You're different… Your company is always welcome, and it's always effortless being around you. I appreciate that about you… A lot."

It's your turn to blush, which you try to hide by turning your head to look back up through the glass roof. You watch as the seemingly eternal stars glimmer, looking as though they're eager to jump from the sky and into your lap.

"Would you like to see what I've found?" Perceptor asks you.

"Sure," you reply as you stand up from your cushioned seat. You walk over to where he's standing, halting next to the observation device. You're too small to look through the scope, you wouldn't be able to see the image clearly enough.

Luckily for you, this device comes with a screen that reflects whatever is being observed. Perceptor pulls the screen out from where it's tucked neatly against the body of the tool, its hinges extending somewhat similarly to a camera's display screen would do.

Gazing upon it, you admire the vibrant nebula that Perceptor has managed to capture. It's a spindly cloud of purples, oranges, pinks and blues. The cosmic cloud illuminates the black sky beautifully, brightening the darkest pockets of space to demonstrate one of the many wonders of the universe.

"Beautiful," you gasp simply.

"Isn't it?" Perceptor responds, "To think that a dying star could create such a wonderful picture. Even in its last moments, it still had more to give. The residue of its life spreads the dust far and wide to give us one last thing to admire."

Your eyes roam over the weaving colours, considering yourself lucky to be able to witness such a thing.

"Soon enough, it'll give way to new stars. The cycle will continue, and we'll be able to marvel at them forever," Perceptor carries on.

"Come," you say, offering your hand out to him, "Come watch the stars with me."

He looks at your small hand, his will already caving to your simple request. He moves to clamber onto the work surface, engaging his circuitry to mass-displace his frame. He shrinks in mere seconds, and sometimes you wonder how such a drastic shift doesn't disorient him.

His deft servo slips into your hand, lacing your fingers together to lock the hold as you start to lead him back to your reclined chair, which is more like a large beanbag now. It fits the two of you easily.

You let him lounge back into the chair first, getting comfortable before you quickly follow. He extends one arm out, letting you settle next to him so that he can embrace you in a half-hold. You snuggle up to his frame, long used to his bulky and rigid exterior by now. The two of you peer out of the glass ceiling, silently playing dot-to-dot with each glowing pinprick.

"Stars are so fascinating, aren't they?" Perceptor says.

"There are so many of them," you respond, barely able to keep track of them.

"You're made of stardust — technically. Did you know?" Perceptor asks curiously.

You hum as you think on it, "I think I might've heard that somewhere before."

"It's true," he replies, "Nearly every atom that makes up your body all formed in stars, long before your planet came into existence. The iron in your blood, the calcium in your bones, amongst other things."

"I like that fact," you smile. Even when he tells you things that you may already know, you listen to him anyway. He's never doing it in a way to show that he knows more than you, he's just passionate about these topics and wishes to share that passion with you.

"I think your beauty puts the stars' to shame though, if I'm being honest," Perceptor compliments you.

"You sure do have a way with words," you reply lightly as you smile. Hoisting yourself up, you support yourself on your elbow before reaching over to him.

He turns his helm towards you, giving you an easier opportunity to kiss him. Your lips connect with his, your free hand cupping the side of his helm.

His optics dim until they're out, letting all his thoughts trickle down until he's focused on just you. He kisses you back softly, the kiss shared between you one of tenderness rather than desperation.

"Have you ever thought about having me under the stars?" You ask, a single point of sultriness in your voice.

"Maybe," Perceptor replies, a poor attempt to conceal the truth.

"Maybe?" You echo with a smirk.

"Okay," he vents, "Definitely."

"There we go," you chuckle as you go back to kissing him. Your lips ghost over his bottom derma as you start working down.

You kiss along his energon lines on his neck, your nimble fingers skirting down his chassis and frame to trace along the chiselled edges of him. He shudders and vents statically under your touch, his optics dimming as he enjoys the way you lather him with your affections.

Your lips drag down the same path your hands walked just seconds ago, kissing along his warm frame. His chassis rumbles slightly, the idling of his thrumming spark spilling over your lips. He in-vents in anticipation as you continue further, your body shifting until you slowly slip off the cushioned seat. Your knees settle against the worktop, your tongue poking out of your mouth to lick down the dark panel that conceals his spike.

Pulling back, your stomach twists with joy as you see his lower panels already opened, revealing his pretty valve to you. It has dark lips, like the rest of his hip armour, but complemented with red accent strips and a beady red anterior node to top it off.

You move your hand to press two fingers against his node, watching the red accents pulse with light as you do so. He bites down a moan as you start to stroke against him. Your fingers part to drag down his lips, the metal completely smooth.

Your eyes flit up to look at him, his helm tipped back against the soft chair as his legs spread wider. You grin at the sight before focusing your attention back on his valve.

Collecting your two fingers together, you press into his hole. The pulsing callipers swallow you greedily, reeling you in quicker than you can push. He doesn't obscure his next moan, and certainly not the one that comes after you press the pads of your fingers against his interior node. His optics flicker with light before offlining.

He's so worked up all of the time, always carrying himself so highly that he comes apart within seconds when you give him a little TLC. You hum at the back of your throat before dipping down, kissing against his node as you start to work your fingers in and out.

Your other hand settles on the inside of his thigh strut, keeping his legs spread akimbo style so that your access to him is not obstructed. Your tongue works over his node, rubbing it firmly to send bolts of pleasure skittering up his body. It seems to work, if the hearty sound he just made is anything to go by. He digs his digits into the plush material of the chair, careful not to rip it.

His callipers are so warm, and they vibrate gently. Sometimes, when he's really close to overloading, they get stronger in their vibrations. You could tell once when you were fucking him with the strap, the sensation travelling down the silicone and splaying over your skin. The memory turns you on, your licks getting more desperate as you shove your face further into him.

Your fingers work him with ease, knowing every tell that he has. He's choking on his moans above you, never one to be overly quiet, much to everyone's surprise. They take him for the quiet type, but when you're involved, that couldn't be further from the truth. Fortunately for you, this observation unit is situated in a far corner of the ship, leaving your sounds relatively isolated.

His blue optics come back online as he vents, looking up at the stars above as he absentmindedly spreads his leg struts even wider. You hum into the metal of his frame, appreciative of how receptive he is to you. Your tongue doesn't falter, switching between figures of eight to quick flicks to get him closer to that tantalising edge. His spike still remains behind his modesty panels, but you can hear the faint thumping of the pressurised appendage asking to be released.

Warm liquid starts to trail out of his valve, running down your fingers to collect into the palm of your hand. It only aids your movements, your fingers parting slightly to stretch his callipers. His hips buck, his clit heavy on your tongue.

You moan at the taste of him, the tangy flavour dancing along your tongue. His moans come out as static as his cooling fans start to whir heavily, his body instinctively moving in time with your licks.

He gives you no warning of his overload, but when his hot valve starts to spray pink fluid, there's no question about it. The supernova bursts, igniting a plethora of colours to sprint through his lines. He lets out a pitchy whine, squirting over your hand, too quickly for you to move and let it spill into your mouth. The liquid shoots up your forearm messily. Some catches on your chin on its way out.

Your eyes widen with surprise. You've never managed to make him squirt like that. You didn't even know he could. Regardless, it provides you with the highest sense of achievement.

Sitting back on your heels, you take your first deep breath since first diving in. It's the only thing you lament, the fact that you have to pace yourself to breathe in between dining on him. When the roles are reversed, he can eat you out for what feels like an eternity without missing a single beat. It's one of the key blessings of having frequent sex with a being that doesn't need to breathe.

You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, leaving a pale pink streak. Your fingers pull out of his valve, his callipers pulsing at the loss. You stick the same fingers into your mouth, cleaning up the residue of his pleasure off your fingers. He's still venting heavily, optics fixed on the stars.

"That good, huh?" You giggle, half-joking.

"You know you're good at that," Perceptor responds, adjusting his internal temperature settings to cool himself quicker. He sits up, reaching over to grab the material of your top. You let him remove it, pulling it up your body before dropping it to the side. He barely even struggles to rid you of your bra next, his dexterous digits unclipping it on the first try. It falls down your arms, following your top in its pile.

"Lay down," Perceptor prompts, shuffling off of the low chair to allow you the room to mount it. Swapping your positions, you lie back whilst Perceptor kneels in front of you. He wastes no time in dragging your trousers and underwear down your legs in one movement, too eager to be nestled inside of you to dawdle around and tease you.

If it was possible, he'd drool. Perceptor, ever the rational and collected mech, becomes a creature of lust when he lays his optics on your aching heat.

His spike springs free from the interface panel, the details of which correspond with his valve. Beads of transfluid are already dripping off the tip, splatting down onto the chair.

"Put it in," you request breathily, spreading your legs in a similar fashion to how he did earlier. Begging him to lay siege to your body, to take you to those heights that only he can do for you.

"As you wish," Perceptor responds before leaning over your body, planting one servo by your side and wrapping the other around the base of his spike. He presses the tip up against you, already feeling your heat roll over his length.

Pushing in, he works past the initial resistance of your tightness. You gasp lightly as your back arches, feeling him making a home for himself in your cunt. Perceptor assesses your reactions, prideful over how responsive you are to such simple movements.

His hips press up against you, his spike twitching inside of you to make him let out a low groan. Your legs come up to wrap around his hips, giving him a clear line of entry.

He grunts just below a whisper before he pulls out, pushing back in within the next second. From there, he sets his pace. He rocks his hips in and out of you, one servo moving to settle on your waist. He holds onto you for leverage, using it to drive his hips more precisely.

A pathetic mewl simmers in your throat as you feel him bully your walls. A hot pool of honey swirls in your stomach, and you swear you can feel every inch of him as he conquers your body. With each pull of his spike, he pulls heavenly sounds from you.

Your chest bounces with each thrust, and Perceptor finds it difficult to look away. The way your body moves when he fucks you is absolutely enchanting, he loves how unique it is. To Perceptor, your body is just as intriguing as an entire galaxy, igniting a deep need for exploration deep within the hollow parts of him.

"Fuck, Percy— just like that," you whine. The smooth tip of his spike feels sensational against your hot walls, your pussy practically salivating all over his length.

"Watch," Perceptor says hotly, his servo on your waist gliding up your body to instead sneak behind your head. He cups the back of it, urging your head forward with a gentle pressure to make you look down.

You whimper at the sight, the sound of squelching making perfect sense as you see his soaked spike fuck your pussy. The result of your excitement pools in his panels, adding an extra layer of lubrication. Your legs tighten around him, pleading for him to fuck you deeper.

He grinds his hips, angling his spike to drag against the roof of your cunt, directly hitting against your G-spot. It steals the breath from your lungs as your mouth drops open, eyes ripping away from his spike as your back arches again.

"Oh my God," you babble, your vision doubling to blur the starry sky above you.

He smiles subtly at your reaction, deciding to hone his attention to your specific sweet spot. He hits it again and again, and you can feel a pleasant ache root in your lower half. It quite literally leaves you speechless, the thread of your mind ceasing to exist as all you can think about is Perceptor and his godly spike.

Your moans tangle with his in the atmosphere, your cunt choking his spike to make his chipsets fry. His circuits pulse with a need that resembles a rain of meteors, a starry fire curling through his frame.

"You're so addictive," Perceptor admits. "Your body is something of fantasies."

"I'm close," you say through your whimpers, "Fuck, I'm so close."

"Give it to me," Perceptor demands as his hips start to stagger in their movements, his own end not far off. "Do it, I want it. Give it to me."

Perceptor is a mech who never asks for much, so when he does, you won't hesitate to deliver. A cry curls in your throat as you let yourself snap, the orgasm rushes through you with a blinding heat. Your body unfurls into the stardust that it was made from, glowing bliss forming inside of you.

The scientist above you groans so loudly it rumbles his chassis, losing himself in the labyrinth of pleasure as your tight walls milk him. It's that which becomes his undoing, tripping over the edge and hurtling into ecstasy. His hips slam against yours once more, spilling his plentiful load straight into your core. His processor dissolves into a similar image of the cosmic cloud that he found earlier, swirling with a mix of lust, adoration and fulfilment.

He collects himself for a moment as he remains flush against you, resetting his processor to help speed the process along.

With a vent, he slips out of you. The hot liquid of his release soon dribbles out of your cunt, spilling over the material of the cushion. Not that either of you cares at this point.