[kth] lavender honey ch. 6
note: this fanfic has multiple chapters, so please look forward to more!
lavender honey: kim taehyung x reader
genre: crack, fluff, college au, smut
word count: 3k words
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lavender honey
ch 6: in which... sad things happen.
There's a saying that too much happiness can actually be unhealthy for you.
And there are no truer words⊠not when you get a phone call from your parents and you pick up the call to hear the very worried voice of your Mum, telling you and Namjoon to come visit your sick grandfather as soon as you can.
And so, you find yourself in Namjoon's car, to head to Ilsan. Your fingers are trembling while you type out and tell Taehyung you have to cancel the plan for the weekend.
âYour Grandpa is sick, I don't know why you're apologizing that you can't accompany me. You don't have to apologize for that, [Name]-ah.â He has to express, when he calls your number as soon as you send him the text.
You can only give a nod, one he wouldn't even see, and mayhaps he noticed something off about your response (or lack thereof), because he hums in acknowledgement at you.
âI'd really like it if you can⊠keep me updated.â
âOkay.â You agree, a little touched at his words. Another call is approaching your phone so you say bye to Taehyung, before picking up the call from your Mum.
âMom says to hurry.â
Namjoon accelerates the car in response.
---
There's something new you learn everyday.
Sometimes, what you learn is very little. But on the other days, you learn a lot over a short time.
That's what life is.
Today, you understand the value of family.
Namjoon holds your hand tightly while you watch the ECG system, the heartbeat rate of your only living grandparent dangerously dropping with every passing second. He lies still, and you try your hardest to watch and tell apart the rise and fall of his chest, butâŠ
It doesnât happen anymore.
Beside your grandpa's ear, you can see your uncle reciting soothing prayers, and the tears forming in Namjoon's eyes are unbearable for you.
So you give your grandpa's hand a squeeze and step outside, feeling your lips trembling when you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket.
Jungkook..?
âNoonim?â He asks, voice soft when you don't respond.
âHello.â
âNoonim. Where are you?â
What's the best answer for that? Was there a way you could cut the call and text him instead? Because saying the single hi had taken everything ounce of energy that you had.
â... Ilsan.â
âNoonim⊠IâŠâ
âMy grandpa is sick. Can I text you back, Jungkookie?â
Itâs almost like you can hear his nod, as he stutters out a âY-Yes, okay!â before you hang the call.
It's right after this call when Namjoon steps outside and takes a seat next to you. It's rare, to see him like this as he holds his hand towards you while he takes his phone out as well. So you let him, watching as he makes his call, and it reminds you that despite the bantering and slight distance you two had after you two had started growing up, this was still the same Namjoon who would build sand castles with you when you go to the beach, even though he would have preferred to swim, instead.
The growing up had put some distance between you two, but you realize that you two needed each other as much as you did when you were little and needed a partner to play hopscotch with.
So it's difficult to watch as he squeezes your hand, Â to hear him say âYes, Professor Yeon? I'm afraid I can't assist you over this weekend. My grandfather passed away so I'm out of the city.â
And this pains you as you watch the slightly scrunched up face of his as he listens to probable condolences that his professor sends him.
âJoon⊠Did they confirm it..? Grandpa really⊠passed away?â
âJust minutes ago.â
You feel your heart crumbling, wishing you didn't step outside and had stayed with him to the end. So you let Namjoon wrap his arm around your shoulder and hold you tight while you hear and feel his sniffs reverberate through his chest.
The funeral is to be held on the same day, 6 hours after your grandpa left the world. You worry about Namjoon, because he has spent a big chunk of his childhood with Grandpa and joined him when he tried to disassemble and reassemble machines.
You don't have any such memories with Grandpa and maybe that's why you aren't able to shed tears, even though they prickle at the corner of your eyes.
And you aren't sure if the tears were actually because you were grieving, or if it was caused by seeing Namjoon so vulnerable and shedding tears.
⊠It's quite cruel of you, isn't it?
You had messaged both Taehyung and Jungkook, and the two of them had sent you their condolences. The elder had made a call which you refused to take, and you had seen Namjoon rejecting a call from Taehyung as well.
There are many people coming to see grandpa one last time before they put him in his coffin. A lot of people give you their condolences as well, and family members you hadn't met in years also give your shoulders pats, while Namjoon not leaving your side makes you able to control your trembling lips.
It's a few minutes to 5pm, the time when the funeral begins. A man comes up to where you and your family are huddled by Grandpa's still form, and you're confused when you see a lot of your aunts - and even your mom - starting to sob, when this man brings a big piece of white cloth with him.
âNamjoon, what's going on-â
And you slowly understand. You slowly understand, when you watch the man placing the cloth over Grandpa's face, and you realize that everyone was crying harder than before because this was the final time, that they will never ever see grandpaâs face again.
You will never see Grandpa again.
You had felt Namjoon's grip on your hands tighten, and this is the moment you break down.
All the tears that hadn't wanted to come down.. All the sadness that had been building up ever since the phone call from your Mom⊠And everything in between comes down into big baby sobs, and the tears are endless, even when Namjoon turns to you and gives you a little chuckle, through his own tears.
âYou're gonna cry now, baby sis?â He asks, and it makes you cry as hard, thankful when he wraps his arms around you.
âHyung!â
The deep, familiar voice makes you lift your face off from Namjoon and glance at the doorway, where Kim Taehyung stands, hair disheveled and bow tie undone - he had clearly ran a significant distance - and seeing him making his way to you two makes the tears stream down from your face even more. So you find the safety of Namjoon's chest once again while you bawl your eyes out.
âAh, Taehyung-ah?â
âHyung. I'm sorry, I wanted to make it in time to see Grandpaâs face as well, but I got late.â
Your sniffles get louder when Taehyung refers to your Grandpa as his as well, then places a hand on your shoulder, the other one on Namjoon's.
âI came to join the funeral, if you'll let me.â
âThank you, Taehyung-ah. Sincerely. You can.â You hear Namjon respond, and he moves away a little, and you refuse to face Taehyung so you turn away while the two probably exchange embraces.
â[Name]-ah, let's not cry too much.â Namjoon pats your back softly, still patting your hair.
âHyung, if you will let meâŠâ
You start to walk away, maybe go to see your Mom instead and just wanting to hold onto someone and cry. But turning around was a bad idea, because you see your uncles carrying the coffin out towards the entrance of the cemetery lands.
And youâre about to walk off before your crying gets loud, when you feel a strong hold on your wrist - one that was definitely not Namjoon.
It baffles you. His grip is so tight but it feels so careful, so delicate that it makes you glance to face Taehyung, who looks at you with doleful eyes. And his eyes are so sad that it makes you turn away again, his grip tightening before he pulls you towards him.
âMy heart sinks each time I see you try to hide your face from me.â Taehyung admits, both his arms wrapping around your back and pulling your face to his chest. âIf you want to cry⊠Then, I want you to cry in front of me.â
It's hard not to let it all out when someone says something like that. It's hard no to bawl your eyes out and cry, not holding in your voice which you'd been trying to even while Namjoon was around.
And Taehyung is so careful with you, hands patting your head and pressing soft pecks on your head, humming to you and allowing you to soak the entire front of his shirt and half of his undone bow tie as well.
It must have taken a long time. Taehyung holds tight to you and waits for you like that, and when you move away from him, youâre slightly alarmed to see that most of the guests also have left from the waiting room to join the ceremony.
âGod, I look terrible.â You say, wiping your face after you calm down a little. Taehyung watches as you reach for the pack of tissues and reaches a hand to card his fingers through his hair.
âI look worse, I ran all the way here.â He says, finally tying the bowtie which had been loose. âWhen I found out, I justâŠ. I really wanted to come and attend the funeral with you. Uh, and Namjoon-hyung, too. So I took a train and came here, and I forgot that I didn't have cash on me so.â Your thankful smile turns into sigh at how stupid Taehyung can be, under pressure. He's silent as he watches you while you pat your hair and neaten it a little.
âI've been wiping my face nonstop but the tears just keep coming. That's funny, isn't it?â
He doesn't respond, instead reaching his hand out for you. And you can hear Namjoon calling to you, asking you to join the ceremony and Taehyung isn't family but he feels even closer than that, so you make him sit beside you.
And maybe you're selfish like that.
You'd argue and mock him every chance you get, but now, as he had traveled cities for you and Namjoon's sake⊠And wouldn't let go of your hand to console you while you cried as the funeral progressed...
You're thankful for him, and your tears have dried out by the end of the ceremony where Namjoon asks Taehyung to stay over.
âMom. This is our friend from college, Taehyung. He came to visit us and join the funeral.â Namjoon turns to face the male who looks a little flustered at the way your parents watch him. And you don't realize just why he looks red in the face, until he waves his hand a little, and-
Oh.
You still had his hand in your grip, after all.
So you let go, and Taehyung turns to you, a little baffled, but turns to look at your parents when you nod at him.
âYes, thank you for coming to join us even though this would have taken away your entire weekend, especially if you stay over.â
âI don't mind.â He hurries to respond, looking from you to Namjoon, then back at your parents, who are smiling at the male. âI just. Really like these two siblings, that's why. I hope you can find some healing by spending time with your family and understand that Grandpa is at a better place than he was, earlier.â
Your Dad gives Taehyung a nod as he says âYes, it'll take some time for things to fall back to its place, but we will try our bestâ, and your Mom pats his hair. You think she likes how fluffy his hair is. You definitely thought his hair was adorably fluffy. But that's a whole other story.
âWould you mind?â He asks, when your parents leave to greet the other attendees.
âWhen was the last time you cared about what I think?â You ask back.
Namjoon sighs, but he has a smile on his face. âI guess she's cheering up after you came. Thanks for visiting, Taehyung-ah. Stay over so we can drive together tomorrow evening, yeah?â
âAnything for you two, Hyung.â
---
Your house in Ilsan is huge.
Your family isnât exactly royal, but their wealth is considerably above the average well-off standard.
Your favorite is the balcony. It extends out as a narrow hallway, widening afterwards and forming a big circle.
You missed this place.
So you stand at the center, and itâs almost half past one in the morning when the wind blows cooly against your skin. Itâs so familiar, and feels refreshing against the two lines of tears on your face that have dried down.
The door to the balcony slides and you turn to see Kim Taehyung, wearing one of Namjoonâs pajamas - they have Ryan on it, and is probably three sizes too big on him - and he gives you a wave before he walks to you.
âHi.â
âHello, Taehyungie.â
âI honestly canât remember a time when youâd called me that name.â He says, joining you and resting his arms on the cement railing. âThis you is so new to me.â
âYou talk as if Iâm a horrible person unless I get vulnerable.â
Taehyung smiles, waving his hand to dismiss your statement.
âSo you messaged Jungkook too?â
âYes.â
Thereâs a moment of silence before he says âI seeâ, and you really wished you knew why. Was he feeling lonely? If you think about it, everyone really was pairing up, in your squad. Thereâs definitely something going on with Jimin and Yoongi, and Seokjin and Namjoon were showing some progress too. Hani has a boyfriend from senior year, and you like how well Hoseok gets along with HyojinâŠ
And now that youâre going out with Jungkook, you realise that Taehyung might feel a little lonely. Was that why he has such a distant look on his face whenever he talks about the younger male? Because you were dating his game buddy and he realises the weight of being the only one not paired up with someone?
âTaehyungieâŠâ
âYeah?â
âDonât you ever think about dating? Is there someone you like?â
âThe fuck is that out of the blue question?â He raises an eyebrow, and - jeez, he has very attractive eyebrows, theyâre just so thick.
âIâm too busy reaching high notes to acknowledge your bullshit.â
âWhat does my question have anything to do with you reaching high notes? Your comebacks are starting to get sloppy.â
âYou clearly havenât heard me reaching a perfect high note.â
You smile, knowing that, even under a sad situation where youâre here at Ilsan for family issues, he can make you smile. Itâs nice like this, because it feels like Taehyung feels that way as well, if the beam on his face as he looks down from the fifth floor of your house is any indication.
âThen, let me hear it once.â
âMaybe Iâll do a collaboration with Jungkook. He has a nice voice, you know?â
âAh, he does?â You ask. You think back, how did he and and Jungkook become friends in the first place, despite the grade difference?
More importantly, how did you and Taehyung become friends, even though you two had different majors?
And most important of all, when did you two become such close friends that Taehyung would spend his money and travel all the way to console you?
âHow do you not know this, I thought you two were dating..?â
âWe havenâtâŠ. Made things official, yet.â
âHmm.â
âHe asked me out for the weekend but I cancelled because I had to go with you for the library book collection.â
This makes Taehyungâs jaw drop open, as if he couldnât believe he was hearing right.
âWhat? I mean. Why? I told you, right⊠If you didnât have to go, onlyâŠâ
âIt doesnât matter, Jungkook and I could go out any other day, too.â You wave your hand, and Taehyung hums in response.
âDidnât take you for someone who has a Noona kink.â
âShut up.â Itâs not a Noona kink, itâs actually a Noonim kink, get your facts right, Kim Taehyung.
âYouâre weird.â
âDid I.. say that out loud too..?â âYes you did, you applebot.â You scrunch your face in response to Taehyung flicking your forehead. âNow go get some sleep. You had a long day.â
You nod, following him back inside, and he pauses on his way to the guest room, glancing at you one more time when you make your way to yours.
âHey, [Name]?â
âYeah?â
âIâm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by hugging you today. I know Iâm not Jungkook, but it just felt like the right thing to do, so I had to hold you as tightly as I could.â
Now, why did your heart sting, at those words?
Why is it paining you, to see the lorn look in his eyes, as he looks straight into your eyes?
It kinda hurts, and you actually ball your hands into fists, shaking your head.
âYou donât need to be Jungkook. I needed it. Thank you, Taehyungie.â
The expressionless nod he gives before he heads into his room before you could say anything back to him makes you unclench your fists.
Because, really, you wondered if you would have felt calm easier if Jungkook was the one who came instead, if he was the one who held your hand during the funeral, if he was the one your Mom looked at with swooning eyes.
Itâs hard to picture Jungkook in a position like that, but it seems natural for Taehyung.
Was it because he and Namjoon are good friends, or if heâs just naturally good at socialising, which isnât Jungkookâs best feat?
Taehyungâs words repeat in your head over and over until you fall asleep in the comfortable and warm comforter of yours, in your bedroom.
âMy heart sinks each time I see you try to hide your face from me.â
âI know Iâm not Jungkook, but it just felt like the right thing to do, so I had to hold you as tightly as I could.â
---














