I watched jesus camp (the documentary from 2006) for the first time today. and one of my first feelings was disgust and horror. it's like being forced to look in a mirror and child you stares back, showing you just how fucked up it all was and how indoctrinated you were. a thought I had while watching was "damn we got robbed of a childhood didn't we?"
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went to the bisexual church of pope cody this past sunday morning 😜🙌🏼
no but seriously, i went to an actual church and it was my first time going to one in almost 9 years that wasn’t just for a funeral. it actually wasn’t Horrible honestly, the preacher that spoke was actually really funny and threw out a bunch of jokes in his sermon, and made it very light and understandable. did still feel kinda culty though, and the whole ass concert-like musical performance in the beginning was very 😟😟 like yikiesss
(lots more yapping abt religion below the cut)
idkk like i just.. RAHAGWGWHWG i was raised in a very strict pentecostal family, and like i vaguely remember going to sunday school when i was like 3-5 ish. when i was way young and we’d stay at my aunts house for a family gathering, or if my dad was fixing something for them, if we were there on a sunday my aunt would Force me n my brothers to go with them to church. and when i was like 6/7 and under i didn’t really think too deeply abt it, i was always like “well, this is just what we do”. i didn’t really have fully formed thoughts or opinions of my own yet.
my dad had kinda stopped taking us to church when i was abt 5 i think, after my parents divorced and my dad got primary custody of us was when we moved to michigan from indiana (we were only two hours from my actual hometown, like where me n my brothers were born) and he looked around and went to a few services but just couldn’t find a good pentecostal church that he liked and aligned with, so we didn’t go ourselves for a really long time.
when i was 8 i had a mental breakdown one night; i’d been praying and praying and praying, for so long, for god to remove the evil and sorrow from my life. for my dad to stop hurting my brothers. for my dad to get sober. for people in my family to stop dying. for all the evil i saw in the world to cease. to bring peace to those around me, and in turn, to myself. not a single one of these prayers was ever answered. when i finally realized that, that night, that was the moment that faith left me. i believed in nothing.
eventually when i was abt 8-10 my family decided that Now i had the autonomy to choose and stopped forcing me into it, so i never really went again. the last time i ever did before this i was 11, and i was forced, by my mother. her husband at the time (very unlucky #4) was a bitchass and started forcing her back into the church, so when i stayed with them for a whole month in the summer of 2017 they made me go a time or two. of course i absolutely fucking hated it, and didn’t even pay attention, because it was the farthest shit from what i believed in at the time—which wasn’t really anything at that point, i hadn’t really discovered spirituality yet, and i was still confused and just figuring myself out in that right.
then, when i was 13, i began dipping my toes in paganism and witchcraft. through that, i found myself. i learned myself better than i ever had under the thumb of western protestant christianity. i’ve been a practicing witch for almost 8 years now. even found out through some genealogy testing that my mother and i, through her mother’s family, are ancestrally connected to blood-born witches from northern & central appalachia and new england, dating back at least a couple hundred years or so.
you can be a non-believer of witchcraft and spiritualism all you want, but there are thousands of scientific studies to backup the existence of ghosts, that manifestation works, that numerology isn’t just silly number sequences that we’ve put upon unimportant means, etc.
i strongly believe that every god and deity that’s ever been worshipped by enough ppl are OR were real. that does include the christian god. but i think the christian god hasn’t been present for a very long, long time. i’m talking at least the 250+ years that the american empire has existed. maybe even longer than that. maybe he left when they start defiling the pagan statues in rome during the crusade. but whose to say, really.
the pantheon is one of few buildings that still stands to represent human diversity, faith, and love in the face of oppression, censorship, and conformity. the oculus is present for those that worship the sun, moon, stars and planets. why else would they have been referred to as ‘heavenly bodies’? nobodies really talking abt divine flesh here—because (according to the christian bible and theologians) jesus christ’s crucitfition took place somewhere around 30-33 BC. the pantheon was originally built around 25-27 BC, when jesus would’ve been walking the earth. he wasn’t to be worshipped yet, for only in the face of death and resurrection did he become a holy icon.
the god i was taught abt in sunday school, the god i’ve always heard my family talk abt, would never let any of this shit happen. that was the biggest reason for my apostasy. because i prayed on my knees every night, for my family and the world more than myself, and not a single thing ever came of it. my aunts always told me to “just pray, and he will answer”. that never happened. none of my prayers were ever answered.
i don’t want to believe in something that would let happen the atrocities that have occurred on this planet, amongst his “favorite creation”. if god loved us all so much, then why does bigotry even exist? why would a perfect and all-knowing being create imperfect beings? if he’s all-knowing, then he already knows what imperfection is and what can occur when you create imperfection and impotence. it’s just never made sense to me.
GARSHSHWHAHA i don’t really have anymore thoughts left in my head abt this rn but i have been harboring a lot of this for a long time and i just wanted to get it out, to ease my brain 💆🏼♀️ and if anyone wanted to hear it i guess
I always wondered why Prosperity Heresy Pentecostalism got such a hold of Latin American theology when Liberation Theology was right there. Turns out it was an intentional act of the US in order to prevent the rise of socialist economics. Raise your hand if you're shocked?? Nobody? Riiiiiiight
Every time I think I know about the Pentecostals I run into something insane like this, because what the hell do you mean they're having services like historically black churches but dressed like pilgrims 😭😭
From a historical standpoint I can kind of see where these two traditions probably merged a little bit, especially in the south. But still....... oh my god lmao
Scholars such as James Goff argue that it was sanctification and speaking in tongues as evident of the Spirit baptism that attracted people from Baptist and Methodist churches and to holiness movements and early Pentecostal movements like Azusa. Yet for the black leaders who founded and led Azusa, their departure was much more complicated and nuanced than this explanation suggests. People also left black Baptist and Methodist denominations that did not approve of slave religion with its oral music traditions and its ecstatic praise practice precisely to protest whites’ and many educated blacks’ views that such practices were antiquated, primitive, and pagan.
Keri Day, Azusa Reimagined: A Radical Vision of Religious and Democratic Belonging
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Lingua Ignota also known as Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter
born June 17, 1986 (age 39)
Lingua Ignota (Latin for "unknown language")
2023, citing the unhealthiness of reliving her trauma through her performances, Hayter retired the Lingua Ignota project. She embodied a new persona under the moniker Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter.
Her professional music career began in 2017 with the self-released albums Let the Evil of His Own Lips Cover Him and All Bitches Die, which spread through word-of-mouth.
Lingua Ignota's two 2017 releases, Let the Evil of His Own Lips Cover Him and All Bitches Die, have been described using a wide range of musical genres, including baroque, black metal, classical, death industrial, doom metal, electronic, extreme metal, experimental, folk, harsh noise wall, metal, industrial, neoclassical, noise, opera, power electronics and spiritual.
Third studio album, Caligula, features fewer industrial and electronic influences.
Hayter herself admits she has difficulty describing her musical genre
Hayter's music caught the attention of Profound Lore Records, who re-issued All Bitches Die and released her third studio album, Caligula, in 2019, which was met with universal critical acclaim.
Her fourth album, Sinner Get Ready, was released in 2021 on Sargent House and received more widespread critical acclaim.
Her work as Lingua Ignota drew from her experiences as a survivor of domestic violence for musical and lyrical inspiration, and she describes her music as "survivor anthems".
Her debut album as Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter, Saved!, came out in 2023
Just four albums for an important but painful experience for the Rhode Island artist who, until not too long ago, lived his music as a tool to process and overcome traumas that arose as a result of a series of abuses, domestic violence and toxic relationships (including the one with Alexis Marshall, frontman of the Daughters)
With the eleven tracks of "Saved!" begins the new artistic life of Kristin Hayter, an American musician who rose to international prominence thanks to the success of the Lingua Ignota project, which began in 2017 with the self-produced "Let The Evil Of His Own Lips Cover Him" and brought to a conclusion with the highly acclaimed "Sinner Get Ready" in 2021.
to her interest in religion and her education in art, literature and linguistics, Kristin Hayter found herself in a unique position to embark on a kind of anthropological experiment through her latest album.
Released under the name Reverend Kristin Michael Hayter, “Saved!” is a concept album which explores a fictionalized conversion to Pentecostalism.
Hayter doesn’t just utilize her voice for singing on “Saved!” Woven throughout is her attempt at glossolalia — speaking in tongues — a defining feature of Pentecostalism, according to Grant Wacker, a historian at Duke Divinity School who specializes in the denomination.
“It’s important to understand how fundamental speaking in tongues is to the identity of historic Pentecostals,” Wacker said, recalling the pressure he himself witnessed to speak in tongues growing up in the church.
“The pastor would encourage young people — usually teenagers — they’d say ‘Well, just start talking faster and faster, and before long, your tongue will just fall into it,’” he said.
The pain that was the basis of the music of Lingua Ignota continues to pulsate. Hayter's beautiful voice and piano open glimpses of melody on a canvas where the lumps of suffering, although in the process of liquefaction, seem to resist the saving efforts of its author.
A veil of desperation envelops the intense songs of "Saved!", an album of pure spirituality, poised between antiquity and modernity, in which nothing is left on the surface. It is a journey into the heart and belly of an artist who, although fragile, knows how to be extraordinarily strong from a musical point of view, because she is able to convey all her raw and truest emotions with a few instruments and incredible effectiveness.
That Hayter turns such a sacred and integral aspect of the faith into a performance, while cultivating conditions that could bring the act of speaking in tongues about, could be taken as disingenuous. But Wacker says similar tactics are frequently employed within the Pentecostal church.
Lingua Ignota opened for experimental metal band The Body during their North American June–August 2018 tour, who Hayter credits for welcoming her into the experimental metal scene. The Body was touring in support of I Have Fought Against It, but I Can't Any Longer., an album that features guest vocals from Hayter