I know Cecil proposed to you, but how would you have done it?
@pennadus ♡~ [ it’s so sappy, help ]
★ Question uttered pertaining private matter would only elicit the flood of memories that the warrior allows himself to momentarily indulge in. It’s easy enough to remember back { like yesterday, was it not? } and find those very heartbeats scattered in still so perceptible past { as everything, nearly everything else, was lost and forlorn - was it not? }.
★ These moments they had only spent with each other. A little quip of a thought that would move the young King to propose. To offer his hand and desire to be united with him in something quite as unexpected - and unperceived to be of the possible - like a marriage to come. Of course, who would have thought? For so many had offered and uttered words of worry towards being so enamoured with someone like the ex-soldier’s level and calibre { violent, wasn’t he? dangerous? perilous? a man balancing on the very edge of the thin blade of sanity—? }. With a light shining quite as brightly as the other man’s own, who would have not wanted to offer demur upon choosing someone that could darken and devour with own shadow and corrupt and destroy—?
★ Truthfully, it had sounded more like a whim of his mind { and had Sephiroth not, after all, had a hard time believing? }. Smile worn back then coating fine nuance of something infidel. Something tenderly teasing without truly being the coldness enveloping his whole being, to never quite reach his eyes anymore { did he reject it? yes or no? }. What all he thought in these moments passing by, was a whirlwind in considerations that need no explanation. No words falling from lips, now that all he does was accept with that faint curl upon his own mouth.
★ Not even a few months had passed since then { in which world of theirs? Cecil’s? his own? the crafted amalgamation of their own will and desire—? }, and every once in a while, thoughts would carry themselves out towards the presented query. Would have him minute ponder upon what would have happened if the opposite had taken place { but would it have come to pass at all? }. Well enough, a few conversations back and forth until he could call the lovely young man his fiancé now, finally have him speak out words in more than only shy attempt. Oh, a moment’s need to bring in order all that had unwittingly found itself settled in the warrior’s mind but— { in the end, he had accepted. who would have thought? imagined such? }.
★ It breaks itself as a truth amongst a thousand hidden pretences. The simplest explanations, were they not always the best? A laughter that he huffs out before eyes take on that mildened fervour only presented to that very beloved someone— “I likely would not have done so.” For they were so different. So distinctive in their ways and forms: radiating with powers of light and darkness - to be found and turned, simply being able to become the integrity of yin and yang { what a laughable sentiment. should he not brush it away? discard it at once? }. “For even what we had before, it seemed more fragile than palpable, easy to be shattered in my hand.” Unwillingly. Unwanted.
★ Even though that he knows well enough of Cecil’s strength. His power. His radiance in this world, his own to behold. Taking him away from it seemed like taking away the sun from the young King’s very world. “No, I likely would not have done so.” Even now the concept was far and wide incomprehensible, hard to piece together like the multitude of shards his mind had been composed off, yet the warrior would accept ideas of adoration. Of affection. Of ardour. With a subtle unbelieving willingness.
★ No. He does not think that Cecil’s want to be with him forever was a sweetened ridicule of the truth. Knows, very well, that it is not. But if it had come down to it? “That does not mean that I am not grateful for it.” How light and nearly imperceptible of a murmur, caught and carried off by the wind. Yes, in the end, he had accepted - had done so in the instances of a rushing heartbeat, when proposed to for the second time. “That I did not adore it.” Like the picture-perfect pulchritude of a blinding smile to be seared into his memory, offered up just time and time and time again—
★ He could not take it away: not now. Not in the future to come.
★ —and still never to be shown enough { should he not laugh about himself for feeling quite this way? }. So how would the warrior have proposed? While all his being says: he would have never done quite the like. And maybe just, maybe— “I personally think, it was the best that it came from him.” —for the striking resemblance to a brightened sky, shining above them all. Surely enough, he would have seen it the same way if roles had been the opposite, but nought else but content was he with all how it had turned out. “So I was able to see him shine like the sun, the stars and the moon combined.”
