I’m in the mood for some fluff🙂↕️ You start taking a new medication (behavioral or like hormonal) and it’s having side effects (mood swings, low appetite, or like killing you libido) and you feel self conscious or he feels self conscious (if it were the libido thing) and you guys reassure each other. Sorry if this is silly but excited to see your works regardless if you do this one or not!
a/n: hi anon!!! thanks for the request, finally posting this one to apologize for the extreme angst of yesterday, hope you like it <3
content warning & tags : +18 mdni, characters are over 18, pure fluff, soft & understanding megumi, mention of sex (minimal), self-indulgent, established relationship.
More Megumi <3
word count : 2.5k
⋆ megumi watches you struggle with your meds, but makes sure you never forget you’re still wanted
You notice the changes slowly at first.
It creeps into your routine so quietly that, for several days, you convince yourself that you’re just imagining things, but eventually, though, the small inconsistencies begin to stack on each other until you cannot physically ignore them anymore.
It began when you started taking your medication.
The doctor had explained the possible side effects with a dismissing tone, already assuming that you’ll get through it without complications. He started listing them one after another in a monotone rhythm while you nodded along, because, truthfully, words like “mood changes” and “appetite changes” feel abstract when they are not actually happening to you yet.
But now they are.
Your appetite disappears first, fading so gradually that you do not even notice until one evening. You’re sitting at your kitchen table with a bowl of food that has already cooled long past the point where it should still be appealing, your fork resting uselessly in your hand while you stare at the semblance of your reflection on the surface of the broth.
Across the table, Megumi is watching you.
He does not comment immediately because Megumi rarely rushes into conversation unless he feels they’re necessary, but his attention has always been sharp, especially when you’re the subject. Sure, he’s always pretending to focus on something else, but you can feel the weight of that attention now, even though you are trying very hard to pretend nothing is wrong.
“You’ve been staring at that bowl for like 10 minutes, it’s starting to be creepy,” he finally says after several minutes have passed, munching on a piece of bread.
You glance up, blinking slowly as if returning from somewhere far away.
“Is a girl not allowed to ponder in front of her food?” you reply, trying to lighten the mood.
Megumi’s expression remains calm, but his eyes flick briefly to the untouched food, and then back to your face.
“You took 2 bites and stopped, did I mess it up?” he asks, growing insecure of what he gave you. He didn’t change the recipe, though, did he?
“You counted?” you answer, and despite yourself, you huff out a small breath that is half a laugh and half mild annoyance. “You’re very nosy for someone so nonchalant.”
Megumi stares at you with surprise. “You look like you’re trying to mentally make it explode,” he replies calmly, reaching forward with his chopsticks and stealing a piece of chicken from your broth before you can react. “And I care about you. Do you not like it anymore? I can make you something else.”
“That was mine,” You deadpan.
“It’s cold now, I'm not wasting it.”
“That’s not the point.”
Megumi studies the bowl for another moment, then suddenly slides it toward himself and pushes his own bowl toward you in exchange, the movement smooth, he thinks that he may have fucked up the spices in your plate.
“Trade,” he says.
You stare at him. “That’s the same thing.”
“Maybe the bowl is cursed.”
For a second, you’re too surprised to respond, and then, the ridiculousness of the statement breaks through the fog in your head and you laugh, a real laugh that startles both of you slightly, because it has been rare lately.
Megumi’s mouth twitches upward in quiet satisfaction, as if the reaction confirms that his strategy worked exactly as intended. Still, dinner ends with half the food left untouched and the strange dull absence of hunger still sitting in your stomach.
The doctor said there might be side effects. It’s probably temporary.
But you just did not expect them to interfere so much in your life.
Over the next week, the changes become more noticeable, spreading into corners of your daily life, the steady rhythm of your emotions becoming inconsistent.
Sometimes your mood shifts without warning, anger flaring briefly before fading into confusion because you cannot even remember what caused it, and other times a strange heaviness settles in your chest, and you just feel like crying.
Megumi notices.
He does not confront you about it immediately, because he understands that pushing too hard will only make you retreat further into your thoughts. You catch him watching you more often now with that thoughtful and slightly furrowed expression he gets when he is analyzing something silently.
One evening you’re sitting on the couch with your legs stretched across his lap while a movie plays quietly on the television. Neither of you are really paying attention to the screen, and your phone buzzes with the reminder notification telling you it is time to take your medication.
You glance at the screen and sigh softly. Megumi glances down from where he has been absentmindedly tracing patterns against your ankle.
“You forgot again?”
“I wouldn’t say that I forgot,” you reply, reaching for the pill bottle on the near table but hesitating before opening it. “I just… delayed.”
“You set three reminders, feels like it was intentional to me.”
“I keep hoping the next one will make me more enthusiastic, can I be blamed for that?”
He hums quietly. Eventually you shake one pill into your palm and swallow it with a sip of water, placing the bottle back on the table with a small clink that feels strangely loud in the quiet room.
For a moment neither of you says anything. Megumi’s fingers resume their slow movement against your ankle, but his gaze lingers on your face.
“Are the side effects worse today?” he asks.
The question is gentle, but answering it still makes your chest tighten slightly, because saying things out loud means admitting they are real. Also, because you know you haven’t been fair to him since you started.
“A little,” you admit after a pause.
Megumi waits, giving your thoughts room to surface at their own pace instead of pulling them out of you too quickly. It’s one of the things about him that makes it easier to speak, even when you feel awkward or unsure of what to say.
“I just feel weird,” you continue slowly, staring at your hands as you search for the right way to explain something that does not feel entirely logical. “Like my brain is not reacting the way it normally does and everything feels… muted somehow.”
Megumi shifts slightly, adjusting the position of your legs in his lap so he can lean closer. “That sounds frustrating.”
“It is,” you say quietly. Another moment passes before you add, almost reluctantly, “...and there’s another thing.”
His gaze sharpens slightly with curiosity. “You can tell me.”
You hesitate, rubbing your thumb against the side of your finger while embarrassment warms your face.“This is going to sound stupid.”
“Stop judging yourself.”
“Easy thing to say for you...”
Megumi tilts his head, silently encouraging you to continue.
“My libido is gone,” you say finally, the words leaving your mouth in one quick breath before you can stop yourself. “I don’t even want to… get off myself anymore…”
Megumi blinks once, and you rush to fill the silence.
“I know the doctor said it might happen, but I thought it would just be temporary or mild or something, and instead it feels like that entire part of my brain has just been switched off completely, which is incredibly inconvenient and also makes me feel like something is wrong with me, and that you’re going to hate me or leave me or I don’t know.” You put your head in your hands in full retreat and glance at him nervously through the space between your fingers.
Megumi’s expression is thoughtful, far different from whatever you were expecting. Does he hate you?
“You’re worried about us,” he says after a moment.
“Yes,” you admit immediately, the honesty slipping out before you can soften it.
Your gaze drops back to your hands. “I know it sounds dramatic,” you mumble, “but you know…like…sex has always been part of how we connect, and you’re always really understanding about it and you never make me feel bad, you always make me feel loved and cherished, and now my brain is acting like that part of me doesn’t exist, and I don’t want you to feel like I suddenly stopped being attracted to you.” You vomit your words before they can make any sense, hoping that he’ll understand your genuine train of panicked thoughts.
The quiet hum of the television fills the space between your words
Megumi exhales softly. “Look at me.”
You lift your head. His gaze is calm, dark eyes and long lashes focused on you with the same intensity they always have when he’s thoughtful.
“You think the only reason I’m with you is because of that?” he asks, grimacing slightly at the thought.
“No, obviously not!” you look at him, maybe even more panicked than before (if that’s humanly possible.)
“Then why would a temporary side effect suddenly change anything?” he frowns, confused.
“Because it affects you too!” you reply, frustration creeping into your voice, as the insecurity you’ve been holding back finally spills forward. “You didn’t sign up for a relationship where I suddenly act like intimacy is the least interesting thing in the universe, and for god knows how long…”
Megumi studies you for several seconds before reaching forward and gently tapping your forehead with two fingers. “You’re overthinking. We could not be intimate for the rest of our life, and it won’t change a thing about how I feel about you, y/n.”
“That’s not helpful.” you roll your eyes, frustrated. “Does that mean that you hate when we’re intimate?” Your thoughts erupt before you can put any rationality anywhere.
“I didn’t say that I wouldn't miss it.” He smiles slightly at your panicked state, and feels bad when he sees you’re not joking. “You know I’m not the best with words but-”
You groan softly and lean back against the couch, covering your face with your hands. “I just feel broken.”
The words slip out quietly, but Megumi hears them immediately, his expression softens. “You’re not broken.”
“That’s easy for you to say…again”
“No,” he replies calmly. “It’s easy because it’s true, pretty girl.”
He shifts his position so he’s facing you more directly, one leg tucked beneath him while your legs remain draped across his lap.
“You’re taking medication to heal,” he continues, his voice steady, almost hopeful in a way. “Side effects happen, that does not mean that something is utterly wrong with you.”
“But what if it does not go away?” you ask, tears slowly building up before you can do anything about it.
“Then we deal with it.”
“You say that like it’s simple.”
“It is simple,” Megumi says. “It might not be easy, but it is simple,” he shrugs.
You stare at him and he holds your gaze without hesitation.
“Listen,” he adds after a moment, a sigh escapes his lips, determined to make his intentions clear. His voice softens slightly. “I like being close to you in a lot of different ways, and yes, that includes sex and physical intimacy, but if that part of things slows down or stops for a while or forever, it doesn’t suddenly erase everything else.”
He gestures vaguely between the two of you.
“You, sitting here with me, falling asleep on my shoulder, stealing my hoodies, arguing about what movie to watch for thirty minutes, watching a show while we eat. They’re all as much as important.”
A reluctant smile tugs at your mouth. “...We only argued once on that stupid film you wanted to see.”
“It happened at least three times,” he deadpans.
“That’s slander and I won't tolerate it.”
Megumi’s lips twitch faintly, then he reaches for your hand, threading his fingers through yours and squeezing gently.
“You being here is enough, y/n,” he says quietly.
The sincerity in his voice settles deep in your chest, loosening the tight knot of anxiety that has been sitting there all week.
“You sure?” you ask softly.
“I don’t bother to say shit I don't mean.”
You shift closer without thinking, resting your head against his shoulder. Megumi adjusts slightly so you fit more comfortably against him, his thumb absentmindedly tracing slow circles across the back of your hand.
After a moment you mumble, “You know I still find you hot and handsome, right?”
“I assumed,” he laughs faintly, surprised by your attempt at comforting words, even though he didn’t ask for them.
“It’s like, I’m really happy to have a beautiful man near me all the time but my brain forgot how to react to that information.”
Megumi lets out an honest laugh, the sound warm and rare. You tilt your head slightly to look at him, and the gentle expression on his face makes something soft bloom in your chest.
“Thank you for not making this weird,” you say.
“You don’t have to thank me,” He nudges your shoulder lightly.
For a while the two of you sit there in comfortable silence, the movie continuing to play in the background while Megumi’s fingers keep tracing slow patterns against your hand.
Eventually you speak again, your voice softer now that the tension has faded. “You know what the worst part is?”
“What?”
“I still want to cuddle all the time.”
“Sounds like the opposite of a problem,” he whispers, a soft downward-curving smile appearing. You’re so cute, he thinks.
“It’s an issue when my brain decides to overanalyze it.”
Megumi tilts his head. “Explain?”
“I worry you’ill think I am leading you on.”
He stares at you for a long moment before sighing quietly. “You’ve been dating me for over a year.”
“So?”
“Do you really think that I cannot tell the difference between cuddling and something else? I know how to take hints, you know.”
You hesitate. “I don’t know… you seem dense,” You tease.
Megumi closes his eyes briefly as if praying for patience. “You’re impossible.”
“You love me.”
“Yes, I do. Unfortunately.” he sighs, his lips curled slightly upward this time.
You grin, your eyes twinkling with adoration. The medication may still be shifting unfamiliar things inside your body, but the warmth of Megumi beside you remains unchanged, grounding you in a way that makes the strange disconnection to yourself feel less frightening.
And as his fingers tighten gently around yours, while your head rests against his shoulder, a sense of calm washes over you. The world around seems to fade, letting you at the hand of the gentle care that he carries for you in every small touch.
a/n: thanks for the comment under my posts and likes, im so happy and i love interacting with you guys!!! thanks for the support <3
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