#peaaaaak

miguel can't stop himself from asking carmen why johnny's always away from his kid and never brought them up before. carmen knows she shouldn't tell miguel the whole story since it's not her place and miguel's too young to understand everything anyway. but she carefully tells him that it's hard for johnny to reach out when he feels like he can't be the dad his child wants or needs. but he wants to be there for them when they're ready.

miguel feels a little sad for johnny, since he's been hanging around with him for most of his life and johnny's a great dad (not that he has much to compare him to). hearing that he's scared to be around his kid because he doesn't think he's good enough, well, miguel really doesn't know what to do with that other than think it's just about the dumbest thing he's ever heard. he sets a mission in his head to get close enough with johnny's kid so he can convince them to tell johnny he's not a bad dad and hopefully bring them closer together.

robby, though, is less optimistic about the summer and spends the whole ride with his arms crossed praying his pokemon cards aren't getting bent in the bag his mom shoved them in (they're totally warped, he wished his mom could afford better card holders that would keep them protected).

when robby and miguel meet, robby's just about had it with this whole experiment, whatever it is. his dad (who he hasn't seen since maybe christmas when he dropped off a present at their door and left immediately, as per usual with him) took him from his mom (who maybe was a little "out of it" a lot of the time but robby was old enough to take care of them both) and instead of staying with him (like she had been since he was born) she just let him go. now, he's seeing this whole life johnny created without telling robby a thing, or even spending time with him in between. he can see the streets johnny must know by memory, the cozy apartments and neighborhood (it's not much better than his own apartment but bias and perception and all that makes it seem nicer), the woman who took his father's attention, her mother and her son. all of them spent time with johnny and robby barely knew him.

the three family members greeted robby but he just huffed and stared at his feet.

he'd had enough of this summer already.

month one

the first month is spent with robby generally giving everyone the silent treatment, which annoys miguel. they offer this kid a bed, food, and time to spend with their dad and this is the thanks they get?

robby though is a ball of anxiety and anger. he's barely heard from his mom since johnny took him in (every time he asks, johnny changes the subject). carmen and her mom keep sending him pitying looks so he can't stand to eat meals with them. and miguel keeps staring or glaring any time they're in the same vicinity.

it's also hard being in the house in general since all the pictures show a life he desperately wants. he doesn't get to join sports since most of them have mandatory parent meetings and an entry fee for equipment or clothing but here's miguel proudly grinning in his baseball pictures. he doesn't have many friends his age since he's at a weird intersection of being obsessed with barbies to create pokemon scenarios (he doesn't have very many barbies and tries to be nonchalant so trey and cruz or the other kids at school don't have more reasons to call him a little girl or a baby. still it'd be nice to have a friend that would be accepting and even willing to play with him) but miguel usually has one or a few friends over every few days and they play mario on his worn nintendo wii console. even his clothes and hair look cooler and more interesting to robby. miguel doesn't have to worry about tangles or how hot/overstimulating long hair can get. his clothes are colorful and loose, while robby's just kind of stuck with whatever clothes get donated/what his mom can remember to buy and the cheap haircut his mom pays for once every couple years.

so robby's jealous. sue him. but admitting that isn't gonna change anything. so ignoring that realization, he keeps to himself and lets the frustration stew below the surface.

miguel's chores don't stop for the summer and, since robby refuses to eat with everyone else, robby's plate is usually left out by itself. miguel, fully annoyed at this point, takes it upon himself not to complain to yaya or his mom or johnny, since they're all stressed about the wedding and robby, and instead takes it directly to robby. he scolds the slightly older kid and says "we all have to put our dishes in the sink after we eat and rinse them off. you can at least do that."

from then on, robby decides to intentionally leave his dishes out on the table. it's the least he can do to show miguel a taste of what life is like when you don't have three adults that do everything for you.

after catching them fighting for the seventh time in just over one week, carmen and johnny sit them down to talk about why they were fighting and, after miguel explains (to which robby mumbles "snitch"), they decide on a new system where robby and miguel do the chores together (awful idea but they figure they'll work it out eventually)

month two

by the second month, miguel and robby argue but are usually only around each other while doing chores, then they ignore each other and avoid staying in the same general area.

one day, robby wakes up maybe an hour or two after bedtime and he softly pads over to the kitchen (to check the time and maybe get a glass of water) when he sees miguel sitting with his mom, who's asleep, while miguel fills out some paperwork at the kitchen table.

both of them are too tired to really start an argument but robby's curious and asks what miguel is doing in a hushed voice. miguel jumps and glances back at his mom before answering robby that it's just some registration forms for school in a month. a couple of seconds pass before miguel explains that some of the words aren't translated well and, even though his mom knows more english than she used to, she still has a hard time and since johnny is out on a late shift, miguel was helping her translate before she fell asleep and he decided just to fill it out himself.

robby, still half-asleep, just nods along and admits he does the same with his mom, "it's just that...she's always, um, tired. i guess. she can't focus after she's been out all night, doesn't really know who i am or...so i fill out my own stuff too. i get it." after an awkward beat, and deciding he'd rather go to sleep and forget this weird moment, robby wishes miguel luck, grabs a glass of water, and heads back to bed.

miguel sits and thinks for a bit about what robby said, wondering what he meant. he supposed his mom was out all night too, she often worked late at the hospital after all. but she'd never been so tired that she wouldn't recognize miguel. he'd also overheard johnny telling his mom once a couple weeks ago that robby's mom might have to stay longer than they planned; his mom responded to ask if she'd relapsed but miguel quickly left before he could hear johnny's response.

he wasn't so naive that he didn't know what relapsing was, especially since his mom was a nurse and therefore much more knowledgable about every bad thing drugs and alcohol could do to your body. it sounded like robby's mom fit the description of someone with a substance abuse issue, but was that really what robby was implying? that his mom drank or smoked so much that robby had to do things by himself?

sighing, miguel just finished up the paperwork, woke up his mom, and got her back to bed. maybe he learned more about robby, but that didn't change the fact that his step-sibling was mean and could stand to be a little nicer to the people who did nothing but be welcoming when his own mom couldn't be there for him.

month three

the last month is generally cordial. miguel and robby still don't like each other but they also have some level of respect for each other and just generally avoid each other outside of chores.

there's about three weeks left until school starts again and miguel feels bad that he can visibly see how much johnny is trying to appeal to robby and gets hurt when he gets dismissed.

frustrated for the man that helped raise him (and also sick of this whole back and forth) miguel finally confronts robby for being a jerk when johnny and carmen have been trying to impress him all summer. this pushes robby over the edge and he yells back that they wouldn't have to try so hard if johnny had just been a real dad for robby instead of ditching him for miguel's family.

miguel then lets it slip that johnny's just scared of not being good enough and robby yells back anything would've been better than nothing. this shuts miguel up and robby takes the opening to rant about everything, how much he wishes he could have miguel's life. that he wants a mom and grandma that listen to him and put in an effort to be there for him when they can. he wants a dad who can talk to him without treating him like a bomb that's one wrong move away from exploding. he wants friends who play with him without insulting him or using his appearance and size for their scams. he wants to play sports and have clothes he likes and be able to look the way he wants. but he can't have all that because miguel and carmen took johnny away from him. and to make it worse, he hasn't been able to talk to his mom all summer and no one will tell him what happened to her or when he can go back home.

miguel doesn't know how to respond, he knows he honestly needs like a week to process all of that. but his brain gets stuck on one part since it seemed so out of place from everything else. he asks robby what he meant by looking the way he wants. robby scoffs about how that's all he got from everything but he awkwardly shifts on his feet and shakes his head, mumbling to just forget it.

but this is the closest miguel's gotten all summer to understanding his step-sibling, he's not letting this go that easy. he jumps forward and grabs robby's shoulder, asking again for clarification. "i won't be mean about it. i just...really don't know what you mean."

robby sighs and keeps his head down, letting his face be covered by his hair. "of course you don't. you- everything just happens for you. you get to be miguel, you get to wear clothes you like and you get to play your favorite games with your friends. you get to be a normal guy. but for me? everyone wants me to be this girl."

"but you are a girl."

"that's- i know. but they want me to be a girl girl. they get me dresses and flower shirts and want me to talk about one direction or something."

"you're telling me you don't like one direction?" miguel asked, referring to the time he heard robby singing 'what makes you beautiful' under his breath in the car

"shut up."

"alright sorry."

"i just...i feel weird. i do like that stuff sometimes, but not for me. it's not who i am. i don't know how to explain it. it doesn't make sense."

miguel thinks everything over, deciding he needs to add all this to the pile of things he needs a week to process. maybe a week and a half for the last portion.

"is there anything that might make you feel more like you? or less like..." robby had said everyone wanted him to be a girl. was that the problem? "...like a girl?" miguel whispered the last part as if there might be someone listening in on the nine year olds' conversation.

a few seconds pass before robby lifts his head and miguel can see the tears in his eyes. "i don't want to make it weird for my mom and dad. i just want to be what they want me to be."

miguel quickly dismisses the idea, "johnny just wants you to be happy. he spent like two weeks freaking out about what food or movies you'd like when you got here. i don't know your mom but your dad doesn't care as long as you're not sad."

robby glances at the front door then back at miguel before staring down at the ground and whispering "my hair."

miguel's eyes snap up to the long brown hair on robby's head and he relaxes. "oh. okay. we can fix that easy." would his mom kill him for using the kitchen scissors again after she scolded him time after time they were for food only? and making a mess? and doing something so impulsive while yaya was out grocery shopping? maybe. but finally understanding at least one part of his step-sibling and being able to help robby, even slightly, outweighed whatever awkward conversation lied between him and his mom.

grabbing the kitchen scissors from drawer and making a really choppy bowl cut, and waiting while robby took a shower to wash off the leftover hair, miguel finally felt at peace with everything. he lent robby a shirt and dinosaur pants that he'd outgrown (robby may be about a month older but miguel was a lot taller). as robby left the bathroom, miguel can't help but smile at how much happier and more relaxed he seems. he honestly seems more like a normal kid, like someone miguel could get along with and be related to.

"sooo, you wanna watch sonic boom? they usually have reruns around this time." robby grins and nods, racing miguel to the couch.

robby falls asleep after a bit and thankfully the blanket rides up enough on his shoulder that yaya can't see his hair, miguel would really prefer to be in one piece before all three adults start the "what. did. you. do." conversation. when johnny and carmen get home from work, miguel decides he needs to say something so robby doesn't wake up to complete chaos.

he asks all three adults if he can talk to them away from robby, which earns him three concerned looks but they agree anyway.

he explains that he and robby made up, which makes them all relieved. but, he adds, robby has other things he's dealing with, things that make him sad and scared, things he's afraid to talk to johnny and his mom about. johnny freezes and miguel clarifies it's not bad (at least he doesn't think so. and if johnny proves him wrong, he might just have to turn against the man who's essentially been his dad and defend robby). "it's just something that affects everything. at school, with friends, at home, with family." he knows he's not making any sense. but he doesn't even know what exactly he's talking about. robby had talked about not wanting to be seen as a girl. so a tomboy? or was it deeper? maybe not a girl at all?

"i don't know everything, but you need to be a dad right now, johnny. and i tried helping, i didn't really know what to do but, um, a haircut seemed to help?" miguel trails off, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.

"did you-"

"yes. but i cleaned it up, i swear!"

"you better not have used the meat scissors, miggy...did you use the meat scissors?"

"...they were the only ones i could find!"

"¡hay tijeras en tu habitación, miggy!"

"those are safety scissors, they don't cut anything!"

robby begins to stir so the conversation is cut off, carmen encourages johnny to talk it out with robby, and miguel is forced to properly clean the meat scissors (they're not mad, obviously, they just hate that he uses the scissors made specifically for FOOD whenever he wants to cut something NOT food-related) and help them make dinner

when johnny and robby come back (both looking emotionally exhausted for weeks to come), johnny sighs out any remaining tension and gains the attention of the three diazes. "okay, we're gonna try this again. carmen, rosa, miguel, i want you all to meet robby, my son. he's gonna be staying with us for a bit and be one of my groomsmen at the wedding next month. full red-carpet treatment and all that from all of you. keep an eye out for rosa, kid, she can be pretty lethal." johnny mumbles the last part to robby, just to make him laugh.

miguel grins as rosa playfully smacks johnny's shoulder and scolds him. miguel nudges robby's shoulder. "do you like pokemon?" the way robby's eyes light up makes miguel grin even wider. "i just got a new pack at the store if you want to open it up with me, i might let you keep the cards if you beat me there. race you?" robby's already speeding to the bedroom once miguel finishes, though he already knew he'd let robby win anyway.

epilogue

robby learns (in a very roundabout way since johnny wants to soften the blow and not dump a bunch of stuff on him) that his mom is sick and getting better. she didn't want robby to see her until she was better so he finally gets to visit her at the end of the summer right before the wedding. johnny explained everything to her beforehand so she does her best to not be too shocked when she sees robby for the first time. he still runs up to her and hugs her and asks how she's doing then rants about how johnny signed him up for soccer and oh my gosh, miguel knows so many things about pokemon, so she takes it as a great sign that he really is happier (which doesn't hurt her since she always wants what's best for him.)

he's transferred to miguel's school and, after a very nerve-wracking first day on everyone's part, miguel confidently drags him over to his lunch table and introduces him as "robby, he's my new step-brother." he's a little nervous they might think his gengar shirt is dorky but they all pull him into a conversation about the evolution of a gengar and he feels his anxiety ebb away.

miguel and robby always cheer each other on at their games (and both are equally impressed at how good the other actually is). they also practice with each other, which is far more helpful than whatever "training" johnny thinks he can do with them

the wedding goes great, robby stands beside his dad while miguel stands beside his mom and they both hold out the rings for johnny and carmen. it's not a very big or extravagant wedding but robby still finds a lot of happiness in how he got to be involved in this next step for him and his dad.

johnny and robby get closer, neither of them particularly like talking about their feelings but they both prefer actions over words so it's not hard to get the message. johnny teaches him about all the different skills he's learned at his job like how to fix a light switch or restart a car ("i love you so much and i'm so sorry.") and robby enthusiastically drinks in the instructions and copies them with johnny's approval ("i love you too. and i forgive you.")

robby also feels hesitant and embarrassed when miguel asks what else he likes to do ("you can't possibly just organize your pokemon cards all the time, dude, please tell me you at least watch tv." "..." "YOU DON'T WATCH TV?!") but he's learned to trust that miguel really isn't a judgmental person, he just has a big heart and sometimes jumps the gun (which made him a little stand-offish at the beginning but robby was a bit mean too so he knows that's not reflective of his true personality.)

robby finally mumbles that he likes playing with his barbies then rushes out he doesn't even really do it anymore and he only has like four so it's really not a big deal. miguel can sense his embarrassment (a plant could sense it, it's really obvious) but he's genuinely curious and wasn't planning on judging him anyway. so he inquires about how exactly he plays with them. "i think i used to play with my spider-man toys, that's basically the same thing."

robby reluctantly brings out his barbies and tells miguel his usual scenario, surprisingly slipping into playing with the toys fairly quickly. while robby was partially telling the truth, that gaining new friends and basically starting a new life during this school year had turned his attention to different hobbies and he was slightly outgrowing playing with his toys, it was nice to play with miguel and not have to be alone anymore.

miguel, although raised by three amazing adults, still never had that sibling bond he'd always heard about. and playing with robby, he finally knew what all the hype was about.

~~~

dude i wrote this instead of hw or sleeping and i have WORK tomorrow. but robiguel is so important to me :((