#patrick toppings

Being the third, in Cody’s mind, means being optional. It means being included only until things get complicated, only until emotions deepen, only until someone has to choose. Cody assumes, instinctively, that when a decision is required, they will be the easiest piece to remove.

So they preempt the rejection.

They step back before they’re asked to.

They minimize their needs.

They treat affection like something borrowed, not owned.

This is why Cody struggles with being wanted by two people at once.

Not because they don’t feel the love: but because it contradicts everything they’ve learned about how relationships work. Cody expects hierarchy even when none is imposed. They expect replacement even when reassurance is offered. Their brain fills in the worst-case scenario automatically, because it feels safer to anticipate loss than to be surprised by it.

Cody’s fear is not jealousy.

It’s disposability.

They don’t worry about being unloved. They worry about being temporary.

Cody processes connection literally. They take promises seriously. They assume that affection has rules they might accidentally break. When Ana and Pat offer inclusion without pressure, Cody doesn’t hear safety, they hear a countdown they can’t see.

So Cody waits.

Waiting is their defense mechanism.

Waiting keeps the pain hypothetical.

Waiting prevents them from wanting too much.

Cody loves from the sidelines because sidelines feel survivable.

They watch the people they love choose each other and tell themselves that this is enough, that proximity without ownership is safer than asking to belong fully. They don’t want to disrupt something stable. They don’t want to become the problem.

But here’s the quiet tragedy: Cody’s restraint is mistaken for distance.

They are not uninterested.

They are terrified of being the reason something ends.

It isn't about convincing them they are loved, it’s about convincing them that love doesn’t require subtraction. That closeness doesn’t automatically create a loser. That being included doesn’t mean being tolerated until things get real.

Because to Cody Winter, being the third doesn’t mean being extra.

It means being expendable.

And learning that they are not disposable, that they are chosen without contingency, without a timer, is the slow, terrifying work of trusting that closeness can be permanent.