#pastmistakes

today I CHOOSE joy

Today I choose joy. I wake up with a smile on my face and a determination in my heart to find joy in every moment. Even when faced with challenges and obstacles, I will not let them dim my joy. I will embrace each experience, whether good or bad, as an opportunity to grow and learn. I will not let negativity or outside influences steal my joy. I am in control of my emotions and I choose to fill my day with happiness and positivity.

As I go about my day, I make a conscious effort to focus on the things that bring me joy. It could be something as simple as sipping my favorite cup of coffee or taking a walk in nature. I also make an effort to spread joy to those around me. A simple act of kindness or a genuine smile can make someone's day a little brighter.

I refuse to let past mistakes or regrets rob me of my joy. I will learn from them and move forward with a positive mindset. I will not let fear or worries consume me, for I know that joy and peace are my choices. I choose to live in the present and savor every moment, for that is where true joy resides.

As the day goes on, I encounter moments of frustration or disappointment, but I choose to see them as opportunities to find joy in unexpected places. I remind myself that life is not perfect, and it is okay to experience a range of emotions. But ultimately, I have the power to choose joy in every situation.

ADRIEL- “You okay now?”

LANCE- Yes, sorry I guess you were right. My past mistake really does still effect me. I just don’t want to continue to feel this way.”

ADRIEL- “You don’t have to, and Lance what you have been doing for your family, even if you don’t think has been enough, is remarkable and shows you are truly a good man and great husband and father.”

LANCE- “You think so?”

ADRIEL- “I know so. I do not know your wife, but is she wasn’t happy with who you are or thought otherwise, she would have said something, or left.”

LANCE- “I know Dhalia loves me, I have never doubted that, ever. And my daughter does too, and she respects me as her father and she is a good girl.”

ADRIEL- “Lance what you have, with your family is better than any amount of money you could give them. You are valid, and you matter, never doubt that. And I think this job interview may turn out to be your best move yet. Positive, you have the skills. There will be someone out that that will look beyond your past mistakes and see the value you can bring.”

LANCE- “Dr., I feel like a dark cloud is being removed, thank you for making me see how all that was holding me back. Like I was still in jail.”

ADRIEL- “Emotionally you are, but we will continue to wok on that, Okay? Now today’s session is up, but I am looking forward to good new next week about today’s job interview!”

LANCE- “Thanks again doctor, I think today is going to be a great day!, So same time next week?”

ADRIEL- “Yes, most definitely.”

ADRIEL- Insomnia? And now you are also suffering from ED, Correct?”

LANCE- “Yes.:

ADRIEL- “So, Lance, how does all this make you feel?”

LANCE- “Feel? I feel hopeless. Not sure how much more I can deal with.”

ADRIEL- “I understand, but our time is up for today, So I will see you again next week, and we need to think about the underlying issues.”

LANCE- “Underlying issues? Not sure what you are getting at Dr.”

ADRIEL- “Like I said we can discuss that next week.

ADRIEL- “Now this guy has some issues! Next week should be interesting!”

Adriel ~ “My name is Adriel Cleary. I am thirty-five years old and have lived in Oasis Springs my entire life, save for my years at the university. I came back to Oasis Springs, to start my private Psychology Practice. You ask why? I say Why not. As we begin this journey, you will meet my clients, through their sessions with me. Some have more severe issues than others, but they are all the same. They need help coping and conquering the things that keep them from being at their full potential. 

My first client is Lance Coleman. ( created by @thelastairsimblr​ ). Lance is a thirty-seven year old male, married to his wife, Dhalia for almost twenty years or so. He is also a father to their daughter, Shauna who is seventeen. Lance suffers from some medical issues that the doctors can not seem to figure out, but it is more than that, as we will see. He came to me by recommendation of his family medical doctor. Dr. Wilson Henry.

Lance Coleman ~ “Past Mistakes”

ADRIEL - “Mr. Coleman? I am ready for you.  You can come in now.

LANCE- “Thank you Dr. Cleary. The bulletin board here, you let people post job openings I see?

ADRIEL - Yes. Many people are always looking for that perfect job, you know. So I share opportunities. So, Are you ready, then?”

ADRIEL- “It is good to meet you Mr. Coleman. Care if I call you Lance?”

LANCE- “Not at all, that is my name.”

ADRIEL- “I read the chart Dr. Henry sent over. It seems that you have been having several issues that he, nor his colleagues have been able to diagnose. So can you share some of these medical problems, Lance? You can have a seat, wherever you may wish.”

LANCE - “I was expecting a lounge chair, I will just take a seat on the sofa. I started having these severe headaches. It’s been, well, about fifteen years ago now, when I started getting them. At first, I thought it was just the stress of being a new father with a toddler. She was certainly a handful back then. Still can be now if the truth be told. But, the headaches became so severe I could not function sometimes, for days. Of course due to this I was unable to keep a job, which just added to the problem.

ADRIEL- “So what do you do for a living, Lance, or at that time, what did you do?”

LANCE- “Then, I was working in a convenience store, as an assistant manager. I mostly ordered the inventory, you know food stuffs, sodas what have you. Nothing real difficult, but of course easily replaced. I understand why they let me go, but it certainly made it difficult to find another job. I have a criminal record, you know.”

ADRIEL- “No, I did not know that. They do not divulge that information in your medical file. So, tell me about that.”

LANCE- “It was a long time ago, before I married. I don’t think it’s relevant to all this, and I try to not think about it now. You understand.”

ADRIEL- “Sure, yes. But everything can become relevant if we allow it to be, but, we can come back to that maybe later then. So after the headaches and losing your job with the convenience store, what then??

After the bombshell that my mother dropped on me at breakfast, I had a hard time concentrating on my clients. Lance was the first of the day, and I knew this was going to be a difficult session with him. I tried to stay focused, but when he arrived I starting thinking about how David would react knowing Sebastian was going to come over for dinner. 

LANCE- “So Dr. Cleary I wanted to thank you for your job board out in the lobby. I found a job opportunity and called them and I have an appointment today with them for an interview.”

ADRIEL- “That is great Lance, so may I ask who the interview is with?”

LANCE- “Landgraab Industries, they are looking for a master fabricator and to teach others the skills of fabricating. I really think this may be the job for me! 

ADRIEL- “That does sound promising, but, what about your freelancing? You going to give that up if you were to get this job?”

LANCE- “Not at first, but if it becomes a full time job, then I will probably have to do that.”

ADRIEL- “So, how does that make you feel, Lance?”

LANCE- “You enjoy asking that question, don’t you? Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about it. I guess I will know once I have the interview. You said something at the last session about talking about underlying issues, what did you mean by that?”

ADRIEL- “Your time in jail. I think we need to discuss it. I mean I do not want to force you to, but I think some of your issues may stem from that. What did you do time for?”

LANCE- “Credit Card fraud and embezzlement. I wound up serving only 4 years, and of course restitution.”

I literally felt my jaw start to drop open. I assumed it was something petty, I had no idea it was a felony.

ADRIEL- “So you did all this when, I mean how long ago?”

LANCE- “Before I married. I was an accountant, and my employer was a pretty large company in San Myshuno. I fudged the books, and started taking money from the company credit card for my own use. Of course I was caught, and over a period of eight months, I stole over 34,000 simoleons. My wife, she wasn’t my wife at the time, was a public defender and she took my case. That is how we met.”

ADRIEL- “I see, so this was several years ago, and since then you never have been able to get the kind of job making the money you could as an accountant?”

LANCE- “Exactly! No one wants a felon working for them, no matter how long it has been!”

Mistakes – Can you forgive yourself?

Sunrise photo by Jan Sikes Alexander Pope lived in the Augustian Era and was obviously a deep thinker and a poet. But those words he wrote in the 1600s still ring true today. Are there mistakes you’ve made in your life that continue to haunt you, cause tears and anguish, and you wish with all your heart you could get a do-over? For me, there is. And just when I think I’ve let go and forgiven…