#past issues

Goku not killing people? Seriously? I guess Tao Pai Pai survived, but at the time Goku threw him his bomb, I don't think he planned for him to survive - granted, DB and DBZ Goku are, at times, completely different characters...

tbf the "i don't kill people if they're strong so we can fight again" is utter nonsense, if Frieza being "supposedly" vaporise on Namek when he tried to backstab him is any indication - Vegeta might have gotten a pass because Goku didn't defeat him himself (it was a combined effort of Krilin, Gohan and gfdi Yajirobe) - but Goku at the end of the Namek Saga meant for Frieza to die (when Frieza pisses on his mercy and tries to kill him after using the "plz spare me plz" card once!).

Bulma trash talking Krilin is a normal staple in their relationship, but why adding Chi-Chi to the mix lol?

My letter to you

  It’s been a bit since our falling out and I’ve reflected on what happened and replayed what happened in my head quite a bit. I try to think of ways things could have been said better but I don’t think there was any way for what I felt to be said better, I sent to you the raw emotion that I was feeling and I do not regret that nor do I feel like I have to apologize for what I said to you because in my eyes it was all true and I stand by that still. That was my truth about how I felt like I was being treated, how I was being lied to and expected to be happy for you because you had some rp. I still don’t understand why I was expected to feel happy for you getting rp because in all the time that I knew you we had only rp’d one time together and then that was it, there was “talks” about rp but that was all it was… “talks”. You know the communication you so desperately want in rp partners but when we argued those “talks” suddenly don’t matter, how selective of you. You said in the end that you had no interest in rping our character’s but you fail to see how that turned what you said in the past into a lie, when you said “sure we can rp when I’m free from school.” I respected as I always have with you, your irl shit comes first always. But if you had no interest at all… why not just say that to begin with instead of leading me on? If you were as you said “This is why I’m weary to rp with you” why even entertain the idea of talks of rp between us? Why not just tell me directly like an adult would instead of just leading someone on then letting it all spill out in a final argument. But I’m wrong for calling you out on your shit that night. You deserve respect for handling your irl shit but I at least deserved the truth from you at the beginning, not during some argument.

You knowingly led me on with our ship too, now that I look back on it I should have realized that you never even wanted to rp with me in general, I literally had to think of everything for our characters and their interactions and even details for your oc because you back then had no interest but now after the falling out it was just because you had no interest and never said a thing. I did all of that just for nothing to come of it, all that effort I put in just for you to have zero interest and never once tell me otherwise. You mentioned one time finally rping them but it just never happened, another lie from you but one of the very first. Was it to just keep me in a good mood? Hanging onto our friendship? Honestly when I look at it that way was I even a friend to you at all in your eyes or was I just some person that you kept for company when you felt sad and depressed about what was happening irl with your husband or with your other friends who stuck their head so far up your ass that they could actually taste your freshly made bullshit just to get into your good graces for some rp or to be around you?

  I’m baffled that I was seen as being crazy because I felt that I was being lied to when I at first calmly came to you directly and talked to you about how I felt that night, where you basically said you didn’t care because it made you happy, but I guess that’s just another trait of me being a “virtue signaler” right? God I still find it so fucking Ironic that I’m called that by the person who has such a highly honed skill of just being the victim, you have a true gift for that honestly I’ll give you credit for it. First with your stories with your ffxiv rp partner, about how they just up and ignore you for their irl partner for long periods of time and then comes back out of the blue when they wanted rp, honestly after seeing our friendship I have to wonder what you did in that friendship to get that outcome with her. Then the second rp partner from when I first met you, the person who got too attached to your rp when you began shipping but it’s all their fault in your eyes, everything that made that friendship fall apart is their own doing in your mind. Not your lack of communication on what you wanted. I can’t say I ever liked them myself personally but at least I didn’t lead them on. Oh but you did, but in your eyes you did nothing wrong, god never you at all in any timeline who could do any wrong. You who couldn’t set boundaries for yourself in your rp relationship and also using them as a way to get back at your original rp partner because you lost your favorite rp with them.

  Damn you dove headfirst into shipping your character with them just because you wanted desperately to move on but that came at the expense of another person. The person who in the end drove you out of final fantasy because they got too clingy and you wanted space but always welcomed people practically eating your ass out for attention in discord voice chats. God how bad it must have been to see all those dirty laundry screenshots of you literally shit talking about everyone you had friendships with or rp acquaintances get posted all around in discords and your own personal discord to top it all off. I always had a feeling that my name was in those dm’s but I’d never know because thank god your husband came to the rescue to defend you by deleting all the screenshots that your now ex friend posted. Your husband honestly always was a great guy, I wish him the best. All of this because you just kept ignoring that person you were shipping with and being mean instead of simply talking to her about it and telling her you weren’t interested anymore. Or you know telling the truth about it which was only to get back at your original ship partner, god a lot of things just seem to revolve around your mistreatment from that person. It’s honestly intriguing to know the full story there but I never got to hear about that piece of trauma in your hard life.

  Then when we became friends again after 3 months I believe of not talking, you tell there’s this guy you rp with on WoW that you used to be friends with and you started talking again, I was happy for you that you managed to find people to rp with after all of that. You never went into detail on him really which always felt kinda strange but not my place to care especially nor was I entitled to hear anything about them when we just started talking again. Then out of nowhere i hear from you that you’re playing final fantasy again and get a small drop of info about what happened. Just so turned out to be “He hurt me”, always they hurt you… never what you do to hurt others, like I’m honestly curious to know what damage you did to him that you’re blinded by your own hurt to see. Or you just don’t care to see, I’d agree with the latter after being someone on that list of people now who probably “hurt” you. Don’t get me wrong your hurt is valid, but you always never saw past it for the pain you could cause others.

  Now onto us, I’ll skip all the stuff I simply said before. God you know you actually hold the title of being the only friend to ever make me have constant panic attacks whenever there was an issue and make me feel like I’m awful and unbearable to be around. No other friendship has made me feel that way before at all so damn, pat on the back for ya congrats. That night when I messaged you about it all I actually had a panic attack for an hour straight, not that you’d ever care though because seeing past your own trauma is honestly impossible for you from what I’ve seen in your other friendships. Guess it’s just all built up from the constant mental gymnastics I had to deal with just for trying to be your friend and someone you can just hang out with.

  Still don’t even know if I could have even been considered that in your mind, felt like a last resort a lot of the time. The sad thing is that even with all of that I miss our friendship… but I don’t miss you. You were one of my first rp partners and we got along ooc as well, you taught me how to write better, I enjoyed when we played smite or overwatch together, I enjoyed when I was able to just get a small bit of your attention because it was already so hard to get any sort of interaction from you in the first place at times. But I do not miss the toll you took on me mentally, I don’t miss having to second guess everything you say because you could never speak up about wanting to do something or not. God I felt like I had to become a mind reader at times because of all this, do you know exhausting that really must feel? I’m stuck with the damage now but I’ll move forward I guess and one day be better, I always have. I deserved better than that and a lot of the people you hurt in the past did too imagine following your track record, no one deserves to feel like that.

  So in closing you were a dear friend in my eyes even through all of that shit, a lot of good times but they were vastly outweighed by the bad and mistreatment, never once did I try to control you even when you flaked on me when we had plans for things sometimes and I saw you in a random rp with someone… I didn’t message you about it because I was happy you were enjoying yourself with someone and it was just something we could reschedule easily, never once did I intentionally try to make you feel bad for having a life at all like you tried to make it seem like in the end, you always thought I was angry over rp but no each time we had a argument I was angry over how I was being treated in our friendship and each time even with me explaining that multiple ways it always came back to being angry about rp in your eyes. I always asked you to be upfront with me and tell me what you wanted when it came to things in our rp talks but you could never be honest or upfront with me and that’s where our friendship crumbled. I gave you the chances to tell me when you wanted to do things and didn’t want to but you never chose to speak up… you simply just nodded along until it all came out in the end. You were my friend but I was left wondering if I was ever yours. Or did you just decide in your mind one day that you were now a victim of our friendship and I was the one who had hurt you?