#parentingwithintention

5 Alternatives to “Good Job” “You’re so responsible” “Thank you for being so helpful” “I know that was hard. I appreciate all your effort” “Wow! That was amazing!” “You must be so proud of yourself!” J. Milburn The phrase “good job” is not bad or wrong. Don’t ever feel guilty about showing your child appreciation. There are alternatives, however, that can send messages that may be even more motivating and encouraging. Try one of these instead, sometime. Edited to add: for some the phrase “you’re so responsible” may trigger an emotional response. If you were a child who had undo responsibility and this is one way your family encouraged your compliance in that, than this phrase may seem inappropriate and maybe it is for you. You need to be conscious when using that one. I would use it if my toddler put away their shoes on their own or maybe my 8 year old dressed for school without me asking. @responsive_parenting Reference: Alfie Kohn “5 Reasons to Stop Saying Good Job” (2001) https://www.alfiekohn.org/article/five-reasons-stop-saying-good-job/ #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #attachment #attachmentparenting #secureattachment #motivatingkids #responsiblekids #intrinsicmotivation #encouragement #waystopraise #parenthood #parentingwithintention https://www.instagram.com/p/CS-Qy1bn--f/?utm_medium=tumblr

“The method is not the only unique aspect of responsive parenting; the objective is also profoundly child-centred, when compared with other parenting styles. Especially those which tend to be more focused on meeting the needs of the parents and society. With responsive parenting, the intention is not to elicit compliance and obedience, but rather we strive to support intrinsic motivation, emotional intelligence, trust and connection. With that being the focus, there is no room for guilt, shame or punishment. They work against the ultimate goal, making them worse then useless, they are in fact, harmful. When we parent with intention, we turn once challenging situations into meaningful moments of growth, that only deepen our connection with our children.” J. Milburn Follow 👉 @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #parentingwithintention #newwayofliving #nurturing #childled #childledlearning #parentingwithoutpunishment #endchildism https://www.instagram.com/p/CSbp9VSLcL8/?utm_medium=tumblr

“The method is not the only unique aspect of responsive parenting; the objective is also profoundly child-centred, when compared with other parenting styles. Especially those which tend to be more focused on meeting the needs of the parents and society. With responsive parenting, the intention is not to elicit compliance and obedience, but rather we strive to support intrinsic motivation, emotional intelligence, trust and connection. With that being the focus, there is no room for guilt, shame or punishment. They work against the ultimate goal, making them worse then useless, they are in fact, harmful. When we parent with intention, we turn once challenging situations into meaningful moments of growth, that only deepen our connection with our children.” J. Milburn Follow 👉 @responsive_parenting #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #parentingwithintention #newwayofliving #nurturing #childled #childledlearning #parentingwithoutpunishment #endchildism https://www.instagram.com/p/CPiT7bNnERr/?utm_medium=tumblr

“The method is not the only unique aspect of responsive parenting; the objective is also profoundly child-centred, when compared with other parenting styles. Especially those which tend to be more focused on meeting the needs of the parents and society. With responsive parenting, the intention is not to elicit compliance and obedience, but rather we strive to support intrinsic motivation, emotional intelligence, trust and connection. With that being the focus, there is no room for guilt, shame or punishment. They work against the ultimate goal, making them worse then useless, they are in fact, harmful. When we parent with intention, we turn once challenging situations into meaningful moments of growth, that only deepen our connection with our children.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #parentingwithintention #newwayofliving #nurturing #childled #childledlearning #parentingwithoutpunishment #endchildism https://www.instagram.com/p/CM0rIJJHxOp/?igshid=5xftpeplke03

Clearly define roles and expectationsHold yourself accountable Be consistent in your parentingBe an involved parentFind your parenting balanceRecognize the positives We would love to hear your thoughts about Accountable Parenting! Feel free to comment below and share on social media so your friends, family and followers can enjoy as well! Have you taken a moment to like our Facebook page? You may really enjoy reading our post about Teaching Children to Use Good Manners. Read the full article

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ABC'S OF PARENTING SERIES The third part of our ABC's of Parenting Series is The letter C. The letter "C" has a full range of words that relate to Parenting! Below is a small list that we think are important while dealing with our kids. We have included our thoughts, tips and tricks related to the letter C. Candid Being truthful and straightforward with your kids can really help with building a lifelong and trusting relationship. Some tips on being more candid are: use more "I and we statements" and less "you statements". Organize your thoughts and think of your points to back them up. Focus on positive outcomes and have purpose with your thoughts. On another note, it is a great idea to take candid photos of your kids and your family. You will want them as your kids grow older, trust me! Candid photos are an easy and great way to document your family through the years. Make time to snap those photos! Choose Your Battles You have a choice to react, in every situation. By choosing your battles, you make an active decision to let smaller things go by without reacting. With this, you save your energy for the larger more important issues. Think about the plate of food on the table. Is it worth getting into a fight over eating one more blueberry? Clean Cleaning can be overwhelming when you have children. Let's face it, they are messy! Prioritizing your cleaning can make it feel like less overwhelming. Get everyone involved in the cleaning. Everyone in the house should have chores and be a part of keeping the house neat and tidy. Make lists and give people incentives for helping. Clear The Clutter Kids come with a lot of material goods. Keep things under control by donating, selling or consigning toys and clothes the kids have grown out of. Get rid of broken toys and think about what the kids play with. Minimizing can become quite a lifestyle if you want it to. Reducing clutter is a great way to help with keeping the house clean. When you look around and your house is full of junk, cleaning can feel like the most impossible task. Keeping things minimal can really reduce over all stress for the entire family. Considerate Teaching a child to be considerate starts with you. Model the behavior you want to see from them. If you are considerate to them and to others, they will see that and will lean in that direction. A great teaching tool is to call out their emotions and behaviors and talk to them about how they affect others. Another great thing to do is to teach your child all the different emotions around them. Let them see what a person looks like when angry or sad and talk to them about it. When a child has an awareness of different emotions, they are more likely to be considerate of others thoughts and feelings. Consistency Being consistent can be having a plan and providing structure. Following through with discipline and expectations and resisting the urge to give in. Kids actually enjoy consistency in their parents. It gives them a clear understanding of expectations and it gives them a guideline for how they should behave. Conversations Having conversations with your kids gives them a sense of an open line of communication so they feel comfortable talking with you about their thoughts, feelings, ideas and problems. Courageous When a child can face their fears and stand up to challenges they will have a raised self-esteem. They will feel good about themselves and be confident in their own ability to make decisions. Lead by example and be a courageous leader. Show them how to be brave and fearless. Allow your child to make decisions and take risks. Failure will happen, so teach your kids to be okay and accept it when it does happen. Courteous There seems to be a lot lacking from this world and manners is right up there at the top. Be kind and show your child kindness whenever possible. Do good deeds for others and teach your child to do the same. Be respectful and show your child to be respectful to their family, classmates, teachers and strangers. Lead by example ad show your child what this means by being in the habit of being courteous yourself. NEXT UP - THE LETTER D BACK TO - THE LETTER B What is your favorite parenting word that starts with the letter C? Feel free to share in the comments! If you want, feel free to read our post about How to Beat the Rinse and Repeat Blues. What is your parenting style? Take this quiz to find out! Read the full article

ABC'S OF PARENTING SERIES The second part of our ABC’s of Parenting Series is The letter B. The letter “B” has a full range of words that relate to Parenting! Below is a small list that we think are important while dealing with our kids. We have included our thoughts, tips and tricks as related to the letter B. Balance Raising balanced kids is pretty simple. Make sure you define your successes on your own terms, not by society. Give them well rounded time - split between family, work, school, friends, and play. Disciplining and setting limits as well as allowing them the room to make mistakes and learn. Balancing work and family life can be difficult but is so necessary. Make sure you dedicate time to your children and home life, just as you would to work. Hire a babysitter once in a while to also maintain a healthy relationship with your partner. Belief Your core beliefs are at the forefront of your parenting. Understanding your own belief system will open your mind to your style. Looking at your believes and understanding if they are positive or negative based can really be eye opening. Are you more of an "I am lovable" or an "I am unlovable " person. Do you believe you are good enough? Are you smart or are you stupid? Examine what your thoughts are inside and adjust to more positive where you can. This will reflect on your parenting and how your raise your children to believe in themselves. Be Present Making eye contact is so important to show your family you are present with them. Set out time together to play a game - no technology. Play a board game or do something all together like geo-caching. Try to get down on your child's level as often as possible. Look at the world with them, through their perspective. Ask them to show you how to do something or to read you a book. Keep things light and allow them to be your teacher for a moment. Be Your Best This may seem simple but really try to be your best in every situation. Let your best self shine. When you are at your best, those around you strive to be their best as well. Focus on the things that are really important. Sometimes you need to sacrifice what you want to do in your life, for what would be best for your child or for your family. This can be difficult in some situations as you end up putting your desires second. Big Hearted Taking steps to having a big heart means that you are super kind to people and that you are nice on a regular basis. When you are kind to people and you treat them nicely, you can give both of you happiness. You are willing to give your possessions and willing to share what you have with your children. Living in this unselfish way can teach your children, through your example, to live in the same way. They will begin to treat others around them in their lives in a kind and unselfish way as well. Blissfull When you live blissfully, you are happy and full of joy. Being full of joy leads to relaxation and contentment. You can feel at one with yourself and at peace in your life. Of course, this flows down to your children as they learn to live with joy in their hearts as well. Finding your zen in parenting and in life and showing your kids how to find their own zen. Blow Bubbles Did you know that blowing bubbles can help with reducing stress? Think about those breathes you take, through pursed lips. This form of breathing is great for keeping your airways open. You can really reduce tension by taking the time to blow bubbles. And, at the same time, you can have a ton of fun with your kids. Show me a kid who doesn't love bubbles and I will be shocked. Living in the moment while blowing bubbles is great for everyone in the family. As you relive your stress-free and care-free days of being a kid, you become more calm and centered. Boredom Being bored can actually be a good thing for your kids. Allow them times to be bored. You really do not need to fill up every moment of every day with something on the schedule. Boredom can help stimulate creativity. It can give you an opportunity to think about your goals and in turn make you more goal orientated. Being bored can actually make a person be more motivated. It is in the down time that you can find your excitement for something new and exciting. Boundaries It is important to set clear boundaries for you kids. Let them know that you mean what you say by following through on your word. Keep things as positive as you can. Always make it clear to you kids what is off limits and what your expectations are. Allow your kids to be a part of setting boundaries in the family. I think one of the most important things is holding firm to your word. Boundaries set up clear guidelines on how you want to be treated. They guide your children on how they should behave. Setting boundaries in your family can help make sure everyone is mutually respectful, appropriate and caring. NEXT UP - THE LETTER C BACK TO - THE LETTER A What is your favorite parenting word that starts with the letter B? Feel free to share in the comments! If you want, feel free to read our post about Teaching Children To Use Good Manners. Can you pass a basic parenting quiz? Be sure to check out Quizly.co to find out! Read the full article