#pappydaddy

  It all fell into place like puzzle pieces in the Summer 1985 when he first laid eyes on Y/N L/N. She worked in the Ladies’ Speciality store on the same floor as Scoops Ahoy. He would see her going to the food court, passing by the Parlour on her way to her shift or leaving for the day. He hadn’t even talked to her and he was infatuated. Not a word was spoken to him from her lips and he was being driven mad by the thought. It wasn’t until Y/N came in to get some ice cream with Robin (the two forming a friendship from working so close together) on her day off before they headed to the community pool that he spoke his first words to her. 

  From there, he was entranced. It all made sense to him. Every poem ever written about the obsession of love. Every line of literature that oozed with the sense of pining. He knew that he was made solely for her. To love her. To hold her. To simply be with her. It was his higher purpose. His calling. He was simply there to be hers. Despite his fumbling attempts at talking to her, Y/N found his dorkiness endearing enough to take a chance on him by making the first move - asking him to call her.  

  Unfortunately, that’s as far as Steve got before getting trapped in a storage room and plummeting into a Russian Underground Base. Her phone number in his passenger seat and the suggestive words of a date hanging in the air of his car from where she uttered them two nights ago. If he hadn’t been trapped and, consequently, kidnapped by Russians, there would be no way in hell Y/N would be at the Fourth of July party with some jock who didn’t even know her favourite ice cream flavour. 

  “I’m sorry,” Steve blinked, a dumb look on his face as he looked at Robin. Robin cocked her head to the side with a roll of her eyes, waiting for Steve to speak as she still held the payphone receiver in the air. “I must have heard you wrong,” He continued, speaking with a chuckle, hoping she was wrong. “‘Cause it sounded like you said that Y/N left you a voicemail saying she was going out on a date tonight-”

  “It’s ‘cause of the giant flesh spider running rampant through Hawkins, isn’t it?” Dustin nodded as if he understood why Steve was so pale after hearing this news. Baffled, Steve and Robin both looked at him as he stood there, sweat staining through his graphic shirt. 

  Opening and closing his mouth like a fish, Steve shot a panicked look between Dustin and Robin. The three of them were off to the side, away from the rest of the scheming groups as Robin checked her voicemail, hoping to hear anything from Y/N to make sure she was okay. “No,” Steve nearly yelled, his voice impossibly high. “Well, now I’m worried about that.” 

  Robin, finally hanging up the phone, sighed. “She said he was taking her to the carnival,” Dread filled Steve. Obviously, Robin noticed since she continued on. “According to Hopper and Joyce, the carnival was untouched by the giant flesh spider-” She gave Dustin a pointed look for wording it that way. “And if this flesh spider is looking for this El girl, Y/N should be safe.” 

  “Again, not what I’m worried about,” Steve stressed, a hand coming up to run through his matted and grimy hair. Blood, sweat, and product weighed his normally fluffy hair down. “I’m more concerned about the fact that she’s out on a date with another guy because I was just trapped in a Russian Base for like three days!”

  Dustin scoffed, causing Steve’s eyes to point angrily at him. “Calm down, Drama Queen. It was like 48 hours,” Dustin looked between Steve and Robin, shrinking slightly as he took in the context of the situation. “Which clearly felt like three days and jeopardised Steve’s chances with Y/N. I can clearly see that now.” 

  Silence enclosed around the three as they stood there. Robin ran the voicemail over in her head, trying to decipher how her new friend felt about this date knowing her feelings for the floppy haired new graduate that currently stood across from her. Dustin, trying to gauge the situation, looked between Robin and Steve before slowly starting to back up in an attempt to remove himself. 

  Steve. Steve was a ball of anxiety. So much so that this made Robin realise that Steve had actually changed. King Steve wouldn’t have cared. King Steve would have just shrugged it off and went off to find his new conquest. She could actually see the doubts and insecurities bubbling to the surface of his mind. “Wow. Nancy Wheeler ruined you, didn’t she?” Robin whispered, but she wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that the words met Steve’s ears. His mind seemed to be screaming too loud for him to hear anything else. 

  “I should’ve just manned up and asked her out,” Steve was beating himself up. Literally. Robin watched, a look of pure shock and bafflement on her freckled face, as he beat a closed fist into an opened hand. Just enough for his already swollen, bruised, and cut face to wince but not enough for it to attract anyone’s attention. “Now, she’s probably having the time of her life with this quarterback who will get a full ride to the University of Alabama or something-” He muttered to himself, the punches continuing, concerning Robin slightly. 

  “Woah, woah, woah,” Robin’s voice cracked slightly as she lunged forward. Gently, her hands grasped Steve’s wrists, keeping him from hitting his hand again. Steve, eyes watering in sheer insecurity, looked at her. Her heart broke for both her new found friends. She knew Y/N wasn’t having the time of her life. A, she hated stereotypical jocks and, if memory serves Robin right, this guy was the quintessential quarterback. B, she wasn’t with Steve - her long-standing crush. Something she admitted to Robin drunkenly. “Go to her.” 

  “What?” Steve’s voice was wobbly. It was soft. 

  “Go to her, Steve. You remember where she lives, you dropped her off that one time when her car wouldn’t start,” She started to explain. “Go to her, tell her how you feel. Lay it all at her feet.” 

  “W-what about everyone else?” He stammered, wide eyes looking towards the cluster of people. Robin waved her hand dismissively, making him look back at her. Her blue eyes were so confident and sure. They were compelling him to listen to her. Confirming that everything will be okay if he just listened to her. 

  They stared at each other, locked in a kind of communication only people destined to be best friends could achieve. “We can survive. We will survive.” She urged him despite the fact that she didn’t believe those words one bit. Swallowing thickly, Steve slowly nodded. Brown eyes casting over the cluster of people. Some he fought side-by-side with for the past two years, some who just joined the battle. They were all probably more capable than Steve at everything. At least, that’s what he tells himself. 

  Squaring his shoulders, he stood to his full height. “I’m going,” He spoke with a firm nod. The kind of nod that sealed some of the best and worst plans in history. “I’m going to her.” Just as the rubber sole of his converse slapped the pristine tile as he started to move towards the exit, unsure of how he’s going to get to Y/N’s place with no car, Hopper’s sharp whistle of his lips stopped him. 

  Seeing a Walkie-Talkie flying through the air, landing right in the scrambling hands of a nervous Dustin, disappointment and dread filled him. He wasn’t going to be able to slip away that easily. He barely listened as Hopper, Dustin, and Erica bickered about how it was best for them to communicate, hoping that whatever the solution was could spare him. His body buzzed with the need to tell Y/N everything. The need to bare his soul to her. The need to be near her - nay. To be hers. 

  The jingle of keys brought him from his locked in zone, letting him catch the keys Hopper was throwing him in time. “Steve’s in charge.” Those words weighted Steve’s soul down to the depths of the bowls of Hell for he knew this night was far from over. 

  “Come on,” Steve gruffed, his drive zeroing in. His sole focus was simply on beating this shit for another time and getting to Y/N as fast as he could. “Let’s kill these bastards.” 

____

  By the time it all fell silent again, rain was pelting down. Once the paramedic’s gave Steve the okay to leave and the firefighters were able to retrieve one of his keys from the Scoops backroom (thank god for cold rooms), he didn’t waste any time speeding off. He knew he should probably change his clothes from something that bore his blood, sweat, and tears, but he simply couldn’t waste another moment. That’s how, after a bout of reckless driving and a few near-misses, Steve was parking on the street, peering into the darkened driveway of Y/N L/N’s house. 

  A moment of hesitation fluttered through him. One thought was about the possibility of her not being home. The other one being the very likely possibility of her being asleep given the late hour. Another thought was about her parents not appreciating a beaten and bloody person professing their love for their daughter. However, a warm glow emitting from an upstairs window and her car being the only one parked in the driveway reassured him enough for him to muster the courage back up to get out of the car. 

  “You just survived two days in a Russian base and an interdimensional creature made of human flesh. You can do this.” He breathed, pumping himself up. Shaking his limbs out, his eyes zeroed in on the front door of her house. Just like a magnet, his body started to be pulled towards her, almost as if it were sure that it was meant to be around her. With a determination greater than the determination he felt to get out of the Russian base, he started to move quicker up her driveway until he was practically running up the rather long driveway, rain pelting his shirt and hair. 

  Standing there, his chest heaved as his back tingled with a mix of excitement and nerves. Before his consciousness could catch up, his finger was jabbing the doorbell repeatedly - much to his own horror. Despite not wanting to continuously ring the doorbell, his finger couldn’t seem to leave it alone until she pulled the door open. It was like his eyes were desperate to see her and his body was doing everything in its power to do just that. 

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.” Even with the muffled voice barely making it through the wooden front door and the sound of socked feet rushing down the stairs, his finger never ceased to stop pushing the doorbell. Part of him hoped that if the Jock did accompany her back to her place, his incessant doorbell ringing was annoying him. The large majority of him, however, was mortified that he couldn’t seem to stop ringing the damn doorbell. Suddenly, the door was pulled open, the burst of air from the movement making her hair wisp back from her face perfectly and Steve was stunned into a stupor, finger pressing on the button. 

  “Steve,” A look of shock crossed her face before it deepened once she caught the sight of his face in the glow of the entryway light. “Oh, my god, Steve!” She breathed out, concern lacing her voice as her hand came up to delicately cover her mouth as she took in his nearly swollen shut eye. 

  He couldn’t muster up any words. Hell, he couldn’t even take his finger off the doorbell. Hesitantly, Y/N reached out. He wasn’t sure if she was scared of him or scared to hurt him, but once her slightly cold fingers met the wet skin of his wrist, he blinked out of the trace he had been lulled into. “I needed to come see you,” His voice was much more hoarse than what it had been earlier. His throat was dry from the lack of water, but his body was becoming more and more exhausted as the seconds ticked by, but he felt energy shooting through him now that he stood in her presence. “Robin told me about your date with the Jock tonight and I couldn’t lose you just because I was kidnapped by Russians for two days.” 

  “You were what,” Y/N blinked, expression dropping from shocked to horrified. “Steve! You need to go to the hospital or the police station! Not to my house! This is serious-” She started fretting, her hands coming up, looking like they were going to lay on his face. His skin tingled in anticipation of her touch on him and his chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing, his eyes darkening, but her hands stilled halfway there. “Does it hurt?” She breathed, hands slightly shaking as her own adrenaline coursed through her.

  Steve, with another surge of confidence, reached his own hands out to grab her wrists gently. Suddenly, as his fingers wrapped around the softness of her skin, he was all too aware that he hadn’t had a shower in two days and probably smelled horrible. On top of it, he was very much aware of the level of grime on his skin. But Y/N didn’t seem to care as her wrists seemed to sink into his hands, relief washing over her at the feel of his touch. “I’m fine. I got checked over by the paramedics, the Feds were there. I am fine,” He reassured her, noting the worry that still swam within the depths of her eyes. “But I needed to come see you. I would have ran here the second I escaped, but I was stopped.” 

  “Probably the paramedics stopped you because you were kidnapped, Steve,” She blinked and in a split second, guilt consumed him for not being able to tell her more. He was sure he would eventually tell her everything, but he didn’t want to scare her off. “But why did you need to see me so badly, you must be exhausted.” She furrowed her eyebrows, eyes flicking over his face. 

  “I needed to tell you how I feel, Y/N. Hearing that you were out with the Jock tonight, I-” He cut himself off, his throat swelling with emotion. “I couldn’t lose you. I couldn’t lose the person I was made for,” His words were like drops of blood dripping from his bleeding heart. “I can’t get enough of you, Y/N. I need to be around you and I’ve never understood the concept of soulmates until I saw you,” Shock crashed against Y/N like a tidal wave. Staring at the beaten and bruised boy, she could only manage to blink her eyes slowly as his words bleed with passion. “Y/N, there is no doubt in my mind that I was made solely to love you.” 

  Those words hung in the air like an anvil ready to squash Steve as his eyes burned into her shell-shocked ones. Her mouth hung open slightly as he could see her brain processing the words her ears just heard. Suddenly, she snapped back to reality, her jaw softly closing as she stood up, eyes as soft as a plush bed - making Steve want to lay within them for the rest of his life. “Oh Steve,” She breathed out, seemingly overwhelmed with the proclamation. Steve’s heart lurched, the anvil dropping an inch. An equally as soft smile as her eyes graced her lips, but it did little to ease Steve’s anxiety. “I thought you were never going to make a move. I thought you didn’t like me like that-” 

  Her words were cut off as Steve grabbed her face in his blood stained and, truthfully, grimy hands. In one motion, his lips nearly jumped on hers, kicking off a feverish kiss. His lips moved against her stunned ones as if she were the water he was so deprived of for two days. As if she were the thing he was derived from for so long. As if she were the air he needed in order to live. 

  He could feel the gentle touch of her fingertips ever so lightly touching his forearms as her lips seemed to match his speed, her body coming to life after falling into the shock of the sudden kiss. Goosebumps marked the trail of her fingertips as they made their way up to his hands. Soon, the warmth of her hands rested over his, just sitting there. Almost as if she was using them to tell if this was real or just a dream. Steve was worried about the same thing but the coldness of the pouring rain hitting his back as the wind blew it under the cover of her porch told him it was all reality.

  Their lungs ached, Steve’s bruised ribs pulsed from his lungs beating against them, begging for air, not realising the lips he was attached to were (in fact) his air. Their chests swelled with warmth, both from their hearts becoming electrified with love and from the burning of their chests screaming from the lack of air. Lips became feverish in desperation as they both realised that, soon, they would have to pull away. Steve hated himself as he reluctantly pulled his lips back ever so slightly, just enough for both of them to suck in air, chests heaving - panting as if they had just ran a marathon. 

  Neither of them opened their eyes, feeling the laboured puffs of breath against their swollen lips as shockwaves of tingles shot through their bodies as if they were still kissing. “Nope,” Steve shook his head. “Not enough yet.” Y/N’s eyes fluttered open out of an act of confusion just in time for Steve’s lips to pounce back onto hers, this time her feet stumbling back from the force, his body crashing flush against hers. A squeak left her lips as she felt like she was going to fall backwards but his hands immediately left her cheeks, flying to her waist to pull her against him even more. 

  “Steve-” She pulled her mouth back slightly, words muffled by his lips still, but the risk of biting either of their tongues lowered, but he shushed her, ready to let his lungs explode if that meant he could keep kissing her. “Steve-” She tried again with a giggle, hands coming up to his chest to hold him back slightly. Finally opening their eyes, Y/N was stunned for a moment as she saw Steve. His lip now swollen, the cut on his lip re-opened and bleeding slightly. His eyes (or the eye that wasn’t swollen shut) nearly blown out as if he were high. Regaining her thoughts, she cocked her head to the side, eyes softening from the heated pools they were seconds ago. “Do you need a place to stay tonight?” She asked, having only caught enough information about his home life to know his parents were barely around and when they were, they barely met the standards of parents, let alone supportive and kind parents.

  Suddenly, and if Steve wasn’t already sure, he knew he had finally found the place in the world he was looking for. He found the purpose of his life. He found the thing he would live and breathe. He found the thing he would even die for. “Actually, yeah.” He said almost sheepishly, realising his house key was on the set of keys the Russians took from him and his parents were away (shockingly). He felt scared, worried that she would think he came here and professed false feelings just so that he could have a place to sleep for the night. 

 Y/N feels like she’s just floating through life, not really fitting in anywhere. She didn’t fit in with the rest of the Kooks, but that didn’t stop them from kissing up to her and her family. What made it worse was that she fell for it so many times. She would think her friends actually liked her, and then they would prove otherwise. Like right now. 

  Standing there, leaning against a wall, she scanned the crowd filling the extravagant house. She didn’t want to come to this party but her “friends” had begged and begged her - even going as far as picking out an outfit for her and promising to do her makeup. She was kicking herself now because it took them about thirty minutes max to ditch her. Huffing, she took a swig of her warm beer, cringing at the taste. 

  “Oh, my god.” She grumbled, shifting uncomfortably. She could feel an uncomfortable weight settling on her chest as her skin became hot, heat crawling along under her skin but it wasn’t from the fact that the house was packed like a nightclub - no, it was from her becoming irritable and overstimulated. The bra she was wearing was digging into her skin and her boobs were spilling out of it because it was too small. She had told her friends it was too small but they maintained that it wasn’t that small. 

  But it wasn’t just her attire or the horrible stickiness that hung in the foggy (and gross) air swirling around the enclosed but very fancy living room that was contributing to her irritable mood. It was also the arching of her heart as she was once again pushed to the side. Discarded carelessly, only sought out and used when someone needed something from her. The ache stung her chest, the burning sensation crawling up her throat and encompassing her eyes like ivy consuming an old building. 

  Her eyes slowly started to well with water as her vision involuntarily zeroed in on one spot on the sticky, luxurious tile floor. The weight of every horrible voice and every single instance that proved to her that she was nothing to anyone settled onto her chest, constricting her lungs as she tried desperately to drag in breaths. The wall of tears continued to build, blurring her vision as the weight increased with each passing second. More memories of her friends and family using her and then ignoring her. 

  She knew she had a purpose in life. She knew this but it didn’t mean it hurt any less when your sole purpose is to be used by others. To be used, ignored, and forgotten. Blinking rapidly, tears slipped down her face. The warm water pulled her from her daze, making her push herself off the wall. She stumbled as the heels she wore scuffed loudly against the tile floor, her feet skidding as she rushed and stumbled her way towards the bathroom with tears encroaching on her visual field. Luckily her mother forced her to learn how to walk in any sized heel in hopes that she would become a model (until her mother didn’t need the external validation anymore and the idea was quickly forgotten much like she was until she wanted her to become a principal dancer in a ballet company), if she hadn’t, Y/N was sure she would have landed face first into a wall making the night ten times worse and flashing people in the process. 

  Barging her way through the luckily unlocked bathroom door, she let her body fall back upon it, shoving it closed. The sounds of the party were muffled behind the french door, the privacy glass with floral designs on it cold against the skin of her shoulders and the tops of her thighs. “Can people not have normal bathroom doors?” Y/N took her frustrations out on the existence of the inanimate object. An inanimate object that probably received better treatment than her. 

  Pushing off the fancy door, she looked at it. Blinking at it, she saw the blurred colours and silhouettes of people milling around outside the door. An inanimate object. A nagging darkness swirled within Y/N’s heart as she stared at this door. Her mind tried to ignore the voice of the darkness taunting her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to believe what it was saying, she fully knew the hisses it spoke were the truth - the people she surrounded herself with only viewed her as an object. She was simply there to benefit them and to give them external awards. 

  Stumbling backwards, further into the surprisingly spacious half-bath (if you could still call it a half-bath when it had a sauna), her head slowly turned to look at herself in the mirror. Despite the way she felt, she was rather put together. She pictured that her hair was a mess, looking like she was just drug fifty yards through dense forest. She imagined that her mascara and eyeliner were smudged under her eyes, making her look like a raccoon. Lastly, she had assumed her dress was a skew and riding up on the bottom but slipping down on the top. But no, she looked perfectly fine. She just felt like she was a mess. She felt uncomfortable. She felt like an outcast. She felt like she was visibly different from everyone else out there. She felt like she was broken.

  “Oh, my god.” Her face contorted as she stared at herself in the mirror before tears started to roll down her face, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. This wasn’t news to her, she knew her only purpose in life was to serve others. Her goals were never her own, they were always made to benefit others around her. She never knew how to be intrinsic. 

  Burying her face in her hands, her elbows crashed into the marble countertops that practically took up the whole length of the wall in front of her. Who even needed this much counter space? A grown ass person could use it as a bed. In fact, Y/N contemplated crawling up on the cold marble and just laying there for the rest of the party. People could use one of the other ten bathrooms this mansion had. Unfortunately, there was a flaw in her plan. It was made evident when someone burst into the bathroom, startling her so much that the tears stopped flowing and she jumped back, falling on her ass. 

  “Oh shit,” The guy cursed, throwing the red solo cup he held to the side as he rushed towards her. Her swollen and red eyes opened, seeing him crouched in front of her. “My bad, didn’t know anyone was in here-” He paused, jamming his thumb in the direction of the door he left ajar. “The door was unlocked so I assumed-” He trailed off, blue eyes scanning her. She sniffled, averting her eyes away from the guy, looking at the mahogany cupboards that sat below the marble countertop. 

  “It’s okay, I should have locked the door. I thought I did.” She waved him off, tucking her legs beneath her, bracing her hands against the tiled floor to start pushing herself up. 

  “Here, let me help you up. I’m the reason you fell, it’s the least I could do,” The guy offered, grabbing her wrists and pulling on them until he could lay her palms in his rough ones, his fingers curling around her smaller, neater hands. She still avoided looking at him, but she found her eyes flicking to him for a brief moment when his warm touch brought her an aura of calmness. An aura of acceptance. Something this guy should not be giving her. She had heard the stories about him - hell, she’s even seen him in his douchebag action. “I’m JJ, by the way,” He told her once she was standing firmly in her stilettos, his hands still clasping hers to his as she felt his eyes remain on her face. 

  Of course she knew who he was. He was JJ Maybank. Womaniser extraordinaire, kleptomaniac, heartless player of the island, and no-good-pogue-trailer-trash. That last one she doubted since it was what her parents and her friends called anyone who didn’t have three cars over the price of one hundred thousand dollars each. According to them, the majority of the island was trailer trash, including people who were upper middle class. Despite never interacting with him, she was well aware of him. With his shaggy blonde hair, the dazzling sideways smile that normally hung off his lips, the gleaming blue eyes that always had her falling into a trance when she looked at him. It was impossible for her not to know JJ Maybank - he was every Kook’s wet dream. 

  She sniffled, her shoulders shaking as her mind looped back to why she was in the bathroom in the first place. Pressing her lips together, she sniffled frantically, trying to will herself not to start sobbing in front of JJ Maybank. While she was confident that he wanted nothing to do with her, she still would much prefer having her fantasy of him running across the beach towards her and whisking her away from Figure 8. She couldn’t have those if the image of him was marred by her blubbering in front of him like a complete mess. 

  “Hey, hey,” JJ started to freak out, nearly jumping out of his skin as he realised she was starting to cry. His blue eyes wide with panic as his hands let go of hers only to clasp onto her bare biceps, his back hunching to try to look her in the eyes. She whimpered, closing her eyes tightly as she craned her neck to the side in an effort to try and hide the obvious. “Did I hurt you when I scared you?” He asked, concerned. 

  She simply shook her head, sniffling as she sucked in a long breath before letting it out, trying to calm her shaking body as she tried to hold in the tears that wanted to freely flow down her cheeks. He was probably piss ass drunk with no chance of remembering any of this so she figured she would be the only one to remember this situation. “No, I didn’t hurt myself,” She sniffled, still not looking at him. Her breathing shook as her body trembled - fighting with every ounce of power she had to stop the tears from rolling down her face. “My life is just a mess and you’re probably going to laugh in my face because how can I tell you my life sucks when you’re a pogue who didn’t have power for most of last summer, but it does suck because everyone in my life sucks-” She opened her eyes, shifting them to stare at the centre of his chest, seeing the Carhartt hoodie he wore. It looked good on him. Almost as good as the tank tops he wore every summer. “And they all treat me like shit! Like tonight! I didn’t even want to come tonight, but they begged me to come and once we got here they ditched me!” For a moment, she forgot she was in the presence of someone she had never really talked to before - feeling comfortable in the air that blanketed them. In the air of the room they stood alone in. 

  “That’s a dick move, bro.” JJ agreed, hands not leaving her biceps as he stood up straighter. He was accepting that she wasn’t going to look him in the eye, but he could see the puffiness of her eyelids, the streaked makeup, and the wobbling of her bottom lip. He felt sick with himself that he felt his heart becoming lighter as he saw her cry and divulge her darkest thoughts to him. 

  “That’s the way with everyone in my life, they only talk to me when there is a use for me,” She sniffled. Despite the lightness to his heart, he was still weighed down, his heart aching to see someone so torn up. He knew this feeling she kept within her all too well. Like they are invisible to everyone until they are needed. Like they are stranded on an island, made to seem like they are miles out at sea, but they are only feet away from civilization. They felt forgotten. They felt abandoned. They felt alone. Utterly and totally alone in this world. “Who's supposed to be there for me?” She posed the question that weighed on JJ’s mind almost every night. Sober or inebriated. The question stewed in his head. 

  “We could be there for each other.” He shrugged. He saw how broken she was. Broken like him. A twin flame, both marred by the bruises of life with no one to help shield them from the punches of life. 

  She finally lifted her head, eyes meeting his. Red filled the whites of her glossy and tearfilled eyes. Her mouth was slack in shock, eyes wide. “What?” She whispered in an exhale, eyes searching his for any sign of drunkenness or insanity. His crystal blue eyes were just that - crystal clear and one hundred percent cognizant. 

  He took a second before replying, his eyes locked on hers. It confirmed everything for him. He could see his reflection in her eyes. “You’re broken-” He stated, making her face screw up in insult. He could see a snarky remark teetering on the tip of her tongue. “You’re broken like me. I like that. Makes me feel less alone,” He added, watching as her body language became less defensive, her face relaxing into realisation and peace. “If we’re there for each other, maybe then we will finally have people in our lives that just want our company.” 

  She blinked at him, taken back by the vulnerable request. She knew JJ’s life wasn’t the best. She knew he faced many turmoils and tribulations, but she never thought he would relate to her feelings of loneliness and brokenness. “Okay,” She nodded, her voice steady but soft. “I’ll be there for you.” She extended her hand out towards him, her pinky finger hooked. 

  He never once dropped his eyes from hers, reaching his own hooked pinky out to her. “I’ll be there for you.” He spoke as his pinky connected with hers, a feeling so intense but calming washing over the pair of them in their solitude. 

  Suddenly, a body crashed into the bathroom, startling to pair. “Aye, I gotta piss!” A drunken frat guy slurred, the drink in his solo cup sloshing as he fought to stand up properly, leaning heavily on the door frame next to him. JJ and Y/N both forgot that they were at a party. The music that had been muffled by the door had been forgotten about, the drunken crowd of partygoers not even a thought in their minds. It had been just the two of them. 

  “Come on, let’s go.” JJ released her pinky, making her miss the connection. She didn’t miss it too long for he grabbed her hand gently, turning and walking her towards the door. 

  “Where,” She asked, slightly panicked. In her panic, she found her other hand that didn’t have her fingers intertwined with his reaching out to grasp his forearm, stumbling in her heels as she shuffled closer to his wide, muscular back. “I don’t want to go back to the party, my makeup is a mess!”

 It was as if the stars aligned just the right way, because there she stood, the girl that had been consuming JJ’s mind twenty-four-seven lately. The moonlight rained down on her like a glowing spotlight, pointing her out to him as if he needed any help finding her in a crowd. And then, the stars must have shifted because as the dancing crowd moved just right, it revealed someone unpleasant standing beside her - talking her ear off, Topper. With his stupid shorts and polo top matched with his stupid boat shoes. 

  Bitterness swirled in JJ’s stomach as his face twisted into a scowl, his heart lurched, almost as if it wanted to jump out of his chest and strangle Topper. He knew what her opinion on Topper and other Kooks were - she hated him, but she doesn’t like making scenes so she suffers through conversations. She was too nice (or shy, he wasn’t too sure which yet) to tell him to piss off, but JJ wasn’t. However, something did hold him back. They weren’t official yet. And that was completely on him. He was the one dragging his feet on this one, but now he realized his mistake. 

  He’s taken it slow with her. She was too perfect and too innocent for him, so he was scared of either ruining her and her life or scaring her off with all of his baggage. Her friend’s opinions of him didn’t help his self-doubt. He knew they hated him. He knew they were telling her to move on, to forget him. But she didn’t listen. Even if there wasn’t a label, it was clear to both of them that this thing was more than just fooling around. They had feelings for each other. It was obvious when he kissed her and her first reaction is always to blush or do that cute little panicked hand flap as if she was surprised he would kiss her before her body melted into him.

  “Screw it.” JJ’s eyes zeroed in on Topper as he inched closer to Y/N, obviously flirting despite Y/N clearly wanting out of the situation. He was a large guy, standing at six feet and having a decent amount of muscle, so it didn’t surprise him when he reached the pair quickly, but it did surprise him that he reached them in what felt like five seconds - he stumbled a bit, feeling like he was transported there instead of walking. 

  Y/N spotted him first, those beautiful eyes JJ loved looking into so much, catching his and widening as if asking him for help, which was exactly what he planned to do. “What do you want, Pogue?” Topper’s snarl made JJ look over at him, blue eyes cold and hard, as if he was aiming to kill him. 

  “I was coming over here to ask what the hell you’re doing flirting with someone who is clearly not yours to flirt with.” JJ squared his shoulders, stepping up to Topper, showing the slight but noticeable height difference between them when JJ pulls to his full height. Y/N’s mouth fell open, eyes watching JJ as he puffed his chest out slightly. ‘Hot damn!’ She thought, eyes flicking all over his body before looking back at the tense stare off. 

  “Last I checked, she was single.” Topper gestured toward Y/N, shooting her a wink, but JJ shifted to hide her from him, scoffing at this. 

  “Oh, news to me, because I don’t think what we’ve been doing screams ‘just friends’,” JJ put air quotes around the phrase, looking back at her with his jaw set in a way that made her want to drop to her knees right there. “What do you think, Sweets?” He asked her, his voice deep and dark, almost as if it was strained. The nickname. The voice. The look. The protectiveness. It all went right between her legs. 

  “Definitely not.” She confirmed, bottom lip being sucked between her teeth as she crossed her legs as discreetly as she could while standing, squeezing. She had to admit, she was already hot and bothered from watching from across the party all night, and now it was like someone opened the floodgates. She could jump him right then and there, but Topper just won’t let go. 

  “Still single, man,” Topper shook his head with his stupid smirk, making JJ whirl his head back around at such a rate it startled both Y/N and Topper. For a moment, Y/N was concerned that he had hurt his neck, but didn’t realize since he was hyped up on a mix of one beer, testosterone, and adrenaline. “She’s fair game for the rest of us-” 

  Topper didn’t get to finish his sentence before JJ’s fist met his nose, a sickening crack sounding as a loudly hissed ‘Fuck!’ left Topper’s mouth, his hands flying up to his nose which must have been broken from the amount of pain, blood, and the sound. “Hey, you saw he was disrespecting her, right?” JJ looked over to the group of people who were standing around, trying not to look like they were listening from the jump. 

  They all nodded furiously. “One of you put your information in my phone.” Y/N pulled her phone out, unlocking it and opening contacts, handing it to the group. After graduating, JJ learned his lesson - always have a witness or two to confirm his story (true or not). Y/N usually was the one who got a witness' contact information to keep in case they needed it. With Topper, they would definitely need it, he’s pressed charges before. 

  Glancing over at Topper, she saw a mass of people around him, someone holding their discarded shirt to his nose to stem the bleeding. Over the balled up fabric, he was glaring at the two of them, saying something but they couldn’t hear through the shirt and over the loud nose. Eyes flicking over to JJ, she looked up at him, his back still turned towards her, heaving. His fists were still clenched, almost as if he was ready for someone to come try to avenge Topper or Topper to come flying at them. 

  “Here you go, we put her number in.” A shaky voice pulled her eyes away from JJ. A boy held her phone out to her, his hand and whole body shaking slightly, eyes pleading with her to take the phone before JJ turned around. He was scared of JJ. He was intimidating, probably, she assumed since all she saw was a guy with such a large heart and an urge to protect anything he cares about with all his might. 

  “Thank you,” She took the phone, locking and pocketing it. “JJ, we should leave.” She shuffled the rest of the way over to JJ, her toes getting buried in the sand despite her sandals. For the first time since the punch, JJ looked over at her as she gripped his arm. As soon as his eyes met hers, they softened, but seemed to get darker. His chest rested, no longer heaving, and his fists relaxed, one arm snaking around her waist to pull her against him. 

____

  When she suggested they leave, she was more concerned about the possibility of cops showing up to bust the party since there was a strong possibility of someone snitching after that punch was thrown. She didn’t even think this could happen. She didn’t think he would want to. Part of her even thought he would be mad that she let Topper flirt with her, but as he muttered into her neck not long ago, he knew she didn’t want him. Didn’t want him the way she wanted JJ. Didn’t want him talking to her. Didn’t want him anywhere near her. He knew that.  

  Really, they barely even left the party since they managed to make it to the Twinkie and that was as far as they went. In all fairness, JJ was the one who brought it since everyone else had drives already. So the van was all theirs according to him. Imagine her shock when JJ’s lips landed on hers, lips moving against hers with such passion she kind of thought it was a dream. She had expected a fight. Maybe that was her own messed up trauma coming forth, but she least expected to have his tongue in her mouth and his hands roaming around her body. 

   She hummed into his mouth as he gently started to guide her down on her back. ‘God bless the Twinkie’s lack of seats.’ She thought once her back met the floor of the van, JJ’s weight shifting as he settled between her legs, his body pressing against her in just the right way. She could feel everything. From the heat radiating off of him to every single dip and ridge of his muscled abdomen. 

  Her eyes opened when JJ pulled his mouth away, catching a glimpse of the dark interior. JJ had parked in a rather secluded spot. With trees hanging over the van, all planted in a row behind the van, they were perfectly hidden. A bit of moonlight slipped through the leaves, illuminated the inside so softly. Her eyes shifted, looking at JJ’s body pressed against her. The way the soft lighting surrounded him, it made him look pure and soft - just like she always pictured him. “You got quiet,” JJ muttered against her skin as he kissed along her neck and shoulders. “What’s going on in there?” He asked, pulling away to look at her for a moment. 

  A ray of moonlight hit his eyes, making them sparkle like two ocean blue gems. “Just thinking about how beautiful you are.” She uttered, her hands sliding up from where they rested on his sides to cup his face. Pulling his lips back to hers, he let her lead the kiss. Soft. Loving. Tender. JJ felt like they were in one of those romance movies she loves to watch. She took a deep breath in, lips pulling back only enough to do so as if she was trying to breath him in. 

   Eyes fluttering open again, her eyes stared up at him - big and darkened with want and need. Looking into those eyes was all it took for JJ to snap. Instantly, his lips were on hers again, but only for a moment until they trailed down to the spot he knew so well - sucking. Harshly. 

  Y/N’s eyes nearly rolled back into her head, mouth opening and head falling back as she moaned. She always responded like that and JJ knew it. She also knew he knew by the feeling of his smirk against her now widely exposed neck. “JJ, careful-“ She panted, back arching off the floor as he slid his hands under her, dragging against the smooth skin of her back. “What if-“ As his hands hit the thin strap resting on her back that was holding her bikini closed, it was like she couldn’t speak in full sentences. “Someone sees the mark.” 

  She warned, but she knew it was futile since his attack seemed to have shifted from that spot and was now inching down to her collarbones as he pulled on the string of her bathing suit. “So what,” He muttered against her skin, the vibrations tickling her slightly but she was too turned on to pay anything but the need for friction any mind. “That way everyone will know you’re mine and I’m yours.” 

  His words went right to two places. Her heart, but mostly her vagina. Maybe like one percent to the heart. More will go later, after he rails her in the back of his best friend's van. “I’m yours, JJ. In every way.” 

  Too overcome with the need for some sort of relief, her hips rolled against JJ’s. A synchronous moan filled the air. She didn’t stop the movement, making JJ still his merciless teasing. She wanted to open her eyes to look at him, to see why he was frozen as she continued to rub herself against his still body. Thankfully, he was a strong guy with good endurance so even with her trapped under him, she could rub against him and get herself off. She was well on her merry way to doing just that. 

  Moans spilling out from both of them, her movements quickened and became sloppier. She was squirming now, face screwed up. Before she met JJ, she was sure this was an orgasm. She couldn’t understand how it could get any better than this, but then JJ showed her just what she was missing and she was proven wrong. 

  That’s why she sobbed when one of JJ’s hands freed themselves from where they had a death grip on her bathing suit and gripped her hip, stopping her movements. “JJ!” She cried desperately, panting as she tried to roll her hips again. 

  “Gorgeous, if you keep doing that, this is gonna be over way too quick, and neither of us want that.” He practically growled and she gasped. Partially from the shock that ran through her, feeding her beating heart and also feeding her pooling wetness. Also from the fact that with a yank of his hand her top was untied and with another, her top was off and thrown elsewhere. “Now, let me savor everything my girlfriend has to offer.” His voice was deep, in a dark and an arousing way. 

  However, one good thing about JJ, he’s resilient inside and out. Meaning: he rarely gets sick. In fact, he so rarely gets anything that he is borderline cocky about it. Arrogance that could rival a surgeon and their god complex. But, much like those surgeons he could rival, he isn’t untouchable like his girlfriend keeps reminding him (out of concern).

  “JJ, you’re sick,” She stressed as she followed him around their apartment, hands trying to steer him back into their room. “You need to go to bed, not work a night shift.” 

  JJ was supposed to be getting ready for work, but she was insisting he needed to go back to bed. “I am fine, Y/N/N,” He sighed, obviously not hearing how congested he sounded. Also obviously blind to the angry redness of his nose. “Just a little sniffle, probably just from when you were sick last week.” 

  “You’re not fine, you were shivering all night and when I left this morning. This is your stubbornness and adrenaline talking,” She pointed out. “Besides, I had a fever last week so if you did catch whatever I had, that would mean you are sick enough to stay home tonight.” She was half out of her office clothes, her heels kicked off at the door, the first few buttons of her blouse unbuttoned, and her bra thrown on the back of the couch carelessly. Her summer internship was really driving her up the wall with the dress code, but she needed it in her resume for grad school. 

  “I am fine, Y/N, trust me-“ His words were cut off when he suddenly slumped himself against the doorframe of the bathroom, his hand flying up to his head, eyes squeezing closed. 

  “JJ,” She exclaimed, rushing the short distance over to him. “You need to lay down.” She urged him, slipping past his leaning body to stand in front of him. 

  “It was just a dizzy spell, it’s fine,” He waved her off, trying to push himself off the door frame but he instantly latched onto it again when he started to sway. “It will pass in a minute-“ 

  “No it won’t, J. And even if it does, what happens when you get a dizzy spell at work tonight and nobody else is there to help you? You’re the only one working a night shift tonight.” She reminded him, grabbing his shoulders and slowly guiding him to turn around. 

  She was met with little resistance and she knew he was giving up the fight. As she guided him into their room, he weaved and stumbled, but she did her best to support him but working on construction sites and fishing boats has increased his muscle mass significantly. “Fine,” He relented, flipping down on their bed, eyes closed and sprawled out haphazardly. “But only to make you feel better, because I feel completely fine.” He still held strong. 

  “Yeah, you seem to feel completely fine, Bub,” She hummed with a roll of her eyes. As quickly as she could, she covered him in the comforter before laying two extra blankets on top of him, noticing the shiver to his body. Standing straight, she went to tell him something but she cut herself off, hearing the snores start to build. He always snored louder when I was even remotely sick. “Get some rest,” She whispered, placing a kiss on his searing forehead. “I’m glad he gave in before getting dressed for work.” She sighed, grabbing a blanket for herself from the chair. Nabbing her book, she settled down on the foot of the bed, her head resting on JJ’s leg as he snored away. 

____

  She didn’t plan on falling asleep, she wanted to make sure JJ was doing okay - especially since he was showing signs of a fever. But, unfortunately, the work week had drained her more than she realized and soon she was out like a light without even realizing it. Even now, as JJ stirred awake the next morning, there was a weight on one of his thighs, making his illness-riddled brain confused. 

  His eyes fluttered open, blinking away the blurriness to see Y/N curled up, head resting on his leg, the blanket pulled up to just under her nose. Even in his sickness, he had to coo at her, noticing the mountain of covers and blankets she had on top of him - knowing she was trying to take care of him. The book lying face down on the bed haphazardly told him she tried to stay up to watch over him, but fell asleep instead. 

  “Sweets,” He croaked, his throat aching in red hot irritation and his nose so stuffed his eyes were watering. He shifted his legs, his sinuses hurting too much to sit up fully (or lean forward). “Y/N.” He spoke again, nudging her with his leg. 

  Groaning, she finally started to stir, opening her eyes and slowly assessing her surroundings. “Hey, Bubs,” She hummed, her voice thick with sleep. “I wanted to get you some medicine and a drink for when you woke up, but I fell asleep. I’m sorry, J,” She apologized, pushing herself up to rest on one hand. “How are you feeling?” 

  “I’m sick.” He admitted. Instantly, she was up, fussing over him. The only way for JJ to admit that he was sick was to be so sick that he couldn’t function. 

  “Hang on, Bubs. I will grab some DayQuil and be right back, hang on.” She stressed, rushing around the room in a flurry and she tossed pillows and blankets at him, before rushing out the door into the kitchen. Even with his plugged ears, he could hear her rushing around, cabinet doors slamming a little harder than she anticipated. 

  When she came rushing back into the room, she held a cap full of orange DayQuil in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. “Shoot this,” She handed him the plastic cap filled with her ‘miracle medicine’. “Chase it with this, then once that kicks in, I will have breakfast ready for you to eat.” She urged him to take the medicine.

  He relented, tipping his head and the liquid back. No matter how many times he takes that stuff, he is never prepared for the taste, but almost instantly, his chest felt more clear. Pulling a face, he grabbed the orange juice, chugging it in an attempt to smother the taste. “Ugh. Even with basically no ability to taste, I still taste that shit.” He spat before blowing his nose, hoping to be less stuffed up. 

  “I know, Bubs, but it really helps clear you up for a few hours, we just have to try to stay ahead of it.” She encouraged, collecting the cap and now empty glass. 

  Just as she nearly crossed the threshold into their bedroom, he called out to her in a nearly gone voice. Looking over her shoulder with a hum, she waited for him to speak. “Thank you for taking care of me, even when I was too stubborn to realize I was sick.” Over the years, JJ has grown quite a bit (mostly thanks to Y/N) and he can, now, admit when he is wrong - sometimes. 

  JJ has learned this throughout their long friendship turned romantic relationship. He actually learned this way back in middle school when he noticed her starting to wear headbands all the time. Of course, he had to figure out why she kept pushing her hair back when he knew she loved her hair. Now he realises that the reason he knew she loved her hair and noticed she was suddenly really into headbands was because he was head over heels for the girl who lived beside his best friend. 

  Since the day he learned it bugged her, he had dreamed of taking the hair and brushing it behind her ear while she talked (so enthralled in her conversation) like he sometimes saw her do. While they were close in their friendship, there was a level of intimacy to the action that crossed the “just friendly” boundary and JJ would shit himself if he knew she knew how he felt for her. Because how would someone like her ever love someone such as JJ Maybank? 

  The first time JJ actually did it was completely involuntary. Autonomic if you will. It was a few months into their relationship. It was all flushed faces, shy glances across the room as they hung out with the other Pogues, and awkward touches until they fit together like perfectly matched puzzle pieces. They were alone outside of John B’s. The rest of the Pogues having retired into the house for the night. 

  The only light coming from the moon, the stars, the dim fire in front of them, and the fireflies dancing around the air. Y/N was talking about her favourite show, talking fast and adamantly about the theories, how things connect to each other, and her opinions on everything. JJ had to be honest, he was not retaining any of it. He was too captivated by how pretty she looked right then and there. With the excitement in her eyes, the way her hands flew through the air as she explained everything. The way she would cut herself off as she was explaining one thing and start explaining another thing because she suddenly remembered it. And then he saw it. The slight, aggressive flick of her head trying to get that annoying stand of hair out of her face and the daydreams started. 

  He tried to ignore them as he started to try to take in some of the information she was giving him, but he could see the frustration start to build in her as she resorted to blowing at the hair in between words. At first, he thought he had imagined reaching out, his fingers lightly brushing against her cheek as he gingerly tucked the strand behind her ear. He had assumed he had imagined it because that has been what he’s done for the past six years. But the way her rant was suddenly cut off by her own shock made him realise that he did not imagine it. 

  Instantly, his own face dropped, his heart dropping to his ass along with it. A raging blush overcame both their faces as they stared at each other, wide eyed and completely short-circuiting. But soon, once the shock wore off and the sparks beneath their skin from where they touched subsided, they fell back into place - this time much closer (physically and emotionally). 

____

  The second time was smoother if you asked JJ. This was almost a year into their relationship. Intimacy was at an all time high. Butterflies still swirled in the stomach, but the awkward phase had released its grasp on them. Blushes still adorned their cheeks and the L-word was on the tips of their tongues. 

  It was midsomers, she was invited by Sarah and Kie invited Cleo while the boys found work at the party. It was supposed to be a girls night, but JJ convinced the boys to find jobs “just in case those Kooks try to pull a fast one on our girls” he had claimed. They already knew that he just wanted to see Y/N all pretty in her dress under the dim lighting of the outdoor festivities. 

  JJ’s shift as bar back had ended since he set up the bar meaning the second bar back was tasked with cleaning it up. For the most part, the party was over, but Y/N still sat at one of the tables. Moonlight and fairy lights illuminating her as she sipped at what was left of her wine. “This seat taken?” He had asked flirtatiously, earning a tipsy giggle from her. 

  “Well, I was hoping my boyfriend would be along soon, but I guess it’s free.” She waved a dismissive hand at the chair with a smothered giggle slipping past her lipstick-covered lips. 

  JJ pulled the seat out from the table, scooting it impossibly close to Y/N’s before sitting in it, happy to finally get off his feet. They were throbbing in the damn dress shoes and his suit was too tight and constricting, but being able to see her having fun tonight and dancing was all worth it. “That boyfriend of yours must be awfully lucky to manage to have a girl like you like him.” 

  She hummed in fake thought. “Actually, I think I’m the lucky one,” She admitted, leaning towards him. Getting the hint, JJ also leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips sweetly. She hummed against his lips, melting against him the best she could in two separate chairs. “I am so tired.” She declared. 

  “I’d say,” JJ snorted endearingly. “I think you and Sarah spent most of the night dancing and consumed a half a bottle of champagne each.” He recounted the night. Luckily, he kept track of how much they were drinking so he knew what type of tipsy he was dealing with. 

  “We had fun, shut up.” She pouted, tipsily hitting his chest in fake hurt. His chest shook under her hand as he laughed at her. Looking at her, smudged and faded lipstick mostly staying on her lips, her eyes heavy but so bright and wide at the sametime. Her voice was light but slightly louder than normal. But what got JJ was her hair. Once perfectly styled into some complicated half-up half-down updo with “face framing” (whatever that meant, JJ had no idea but he loved it), now the curls had mostly fallen out and instead of a few strands of hair in her face, most of her hair was loose. 

  Watching her nose twitch as her pesky stranglers that slipped out of her updo tickled her cheek, he reached his hand up, fingers lightly brushing against her warm cheekbone (from the alcohol induced flush). Enjoying the feeling of her soft skin under his fingertips for a moment, he continued to tuck the annoying hair behind her ear. Her glossy eyes looked up into his, swimming with affection. “I know you did, Bub. Let’s get you to bed so you can rest from you fun night.” 

____ 

  The third time was by far JJ’s favourite. She was sitting there in front of him in the darkened room, candles surrounding them, illuminating them and the room in a dim glow. Both of them were tired but buzzing at the same time. In the candle light, he could see the white gown she wore, a figure of beauty. The centre of attention for the whole day not just because she was the bride. 

  “What do you say, Mr. Maybank,” She whispered, her eyes dancing with mischief. JJ didn’t say anything, knowing she had more to say. Instead, he just looked at her with nothing but admiration and love within his blue eyes. Her makeup was worn off for the most part, mascara flaked, lipstick rubbed off (mostly by his own lips), and her foundation slightly caked from all the celebrations at the reception. “Feel any different?” She asked with a lift of her eyebrow, a smile tugging at one corner of her lips. 

  His own smile took over as he lifted his hand. Her eyes fluttered closed, already anticipating his touch, leaning her cheek closer to his hand to meet him. She let out a little content sigh when she felt his fingertips brush her cheekbone, tucking the hair behind her ear before settling along her jawline. Warmth filled her heart, so overwhelming that she nuzzled her cheek further into his hand, trying to express how much she loved it. 

JJ has done stupid and reckless things before. It was expected of him and he liked to live up to expectations. He was the unhinged friend that stressed everyone out. Since meeting him in elementary school, Y/N didn’t know JJ not to be daring which meant that she (being the nervous and apprehensive person she was) often found herself on the verge of a heart attack whenever he pulled his little stunts. Since they started dating two years ago, his chaos and recklessness has decreased, but not by any significant bounds. 

  But the decrease wasn’t from JJ changing, it was from Y/N insisting that he needs to be safe and arguing with him (which actually makes him think first). Even then, it’s a fifty-fifty shot that he actually listens. For instance, there was a new skatepark installed on The Cut, a last-ditch effort to (a) make The Cut look nicer, (b) keep Pogues out of Kook territory, and (c) lower crime rates. Of course, JJ, who has never skateboarded before, was convinced it was just like surfing so, therefore, he believed he would be a pro at it. He was wrong. Horribly wrong. But, thanks to Y/N, he was wearing a helmet and managed to avoid concussing himself on the concrete after he fell off the metal railing (nearly hitting his head on that). 

  Now, the dirt bike track was finally up and running again following the brief closure (three years) due to the owner going to jail for embezzlement. Now, after two former motocross x-game finalists who grew up in The Cut had bought it, it was fixed up and ready to be used again. Of course, JJ was naturally drawn to it, visiting every day so far this summer. Most of the time, Y/N went with him, but she was unable to go the past three weeks because Sarah had pulled her away to the mainland for shopping. 

  “Babe, I am so excited for you to come to the course again,” JJ was nearly bouncing off the walls all day. He even woke up at nine in the morning (and was like this from the start). His breakfast of a mixture of half a box of fruity pebbles and half a box of lucky charms was not helping anything. “I’ve been working on so many neat moves with Nathan, he says that I have enough skill that I could enter comps and win huge cash prizes.” 

  She looked over at him from where she packed things into her tote bag. “Nathan would know, maybe you should enter some contests. You could probably enter some surfing contests too,” She nodded, double checking the contents of her bag. JJ spending every day at the course has led to Nathan (one of the owners) coaching him as a hobby. Completely free and completely spontaneous. “You could really make a career out of these, J.” She reminded him. 

  “I don’t know, Babe,” He shrugged, grabbing the sunscreen and her sunglasses that she forgot on her dresser. “Some of these guys that play these sports come from rich families who pay for only the best training. No way I can compete against that. Their parents buy them wins basically! How can I win against someone who bribes the judges? Or someone who has the best bike?” He pointed out, handing her the items as she started to walk out of their room. 

  “Thanks,” She smiled up at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “And Nathan has competed against them and won, he can teach you how. Talent is always better than money in the long run. It’s worth a try if you think you’ll be happy,” A honk sound from outside, signalling that the Twinkie was there. “I mean, you asked me out because you thought it would make you happy and look at us now. Living together.” She gestured around at the small cottage-like house they rent. Two-bedroom, one bath, and the floor plan was open concept because it was just a kitchen and living room. 

  “Would you be okay if I started competing,” JJ asked her, his hand reaching out to gently grab her arm when she started to walk towards the front door, another honk sounding from John B. She turned around, seeing him inches away from her, eyes staring down into hers as he waited for her answer. “It’s easy to get hurt in these sports and I don’t want you worrying all the time.” 

  She sighed, smiling at him, hands coming up to cup his face. “I’m always gonna worry about you JJ. What matters is if you’re happy. You sacrifice so much for me, I can sacrifice being scared out of my wits for the length of a competition.” With that, she rolled up to the balls of her feet, pressing a kiss to his lips just when another honk sounded. 

____

  “I can’t believe you said you would be fine with him competing,” Sarah shook her head as she watched the course. People zipped around, mud flying in every direction. Sarah and Y/N sat on the bleachers, free sodas from the cooler in hand. Y/N looked up from her book, eyes searching for JJ instantly, quickly finding him talking to Nathan off on the side. “I mean, someone wipes out every second. If John B started competing in motocross I would have a nervous breakdown.” 

  Y/N shrugged, eyes leaving JJ to see John B ripping around the course. “It makes him happy and he’s really excited about Nathan telling him he could do well at this,” She took a sip of her soda, the cool liquid helping cool her body temperature. “I’m not going to let my worries ruin this for him.” 

  “You’re braver than me, girl.” Sarah shook her head, taking a drink of her own soda just as Kie and Pope turned the corner, climbing the bleachers with take out containers in their hands from the food truck parked in the parking lot. 

  “We got JJ and John B’s, they are on the bottom to stay warm,” Pope told the two girls, handing them two containers. “Though, I don’t know why I try since they will devour them cold by choice,” Pope shook his head, settling down beside Sarah, picking up his untouched soda. “Are they almost ready for a break anyway? They’ve been at this for hours.” He asked, popping the tab open, the carbonation hissing as it rushed out. 

  Glancing over at the track, Y/N shrugged. “John B will probably be done once he finishes this lap, but JJ is probably gonna take the course once more so Nathan can time him,” She explained. “He’s aiming to break his personal best.” She was proven correct when JJ pulled his helmet over his head, securing it as he nodded along to whatever Nathan was telling him, his face hidden by the dark tinted face shield. 

  Just as John B finished his lap, JJ revved his engine, mud slinging around as his tire spun. Y/N perked up slightly as he drove to the startline. With a flick of Nathan’s thumb, JJ took off, zipping around the track. Y/N wiggled to the edge of her seat, setting her soda and the two containers of fries on the bench beside her. Something told her to keep watching. Maybe it was that she thought he would make a new personal best or maybe JJ had been a little too good about not making reckless decisions as of late. She wasn’t too sure, but here she was hanging off of every mound and every turn as if he were competing for a national title. 

  Then, it all made sense when she noticed Nathan’s hands flying through the air, looking like he was telling JJ to slow down or something as he yelled into the radio that allows him to communicate with JJ. “Is that some kind of signal?” Sarah asked, her nose wrinkling as she watched Nathan’s hand movements in confusion. 

  “They have radio communication, he wouldn’t need to use hand signals unless JJ was training for a race,” John B, who Y/N didn’t notice had joined them, explained. He tipped his uncapped water bottle towards Nathan. “It looks like he’s stressin’. Must think JJ’s pushing himself too hard.” 

  The group watched with worried expressions. From where they sat, they could hear the raised voice of Nathan but they couldn’t hear what he was saying over the roar of JJ’s motor. It was a split second. A tiny movement. But it told Y/N exactly what was going on. As JJ flew by the stands, she could see the way his head stayed tilted towards her for a second too long to not be a coincidence, followed by a sudden surge of speed. “Oh, God, JJ,” She tucked her lip between her teeth. “Please don’t. Listen to Nathan.” She pleaded quietly, hoping he could sense her wishes. 

  “Don’t do what? What’s he doing?” Pope asked, looking at Y/N with nervous eyes. Before Y/N could react, JJ’s bike took the turn too tight, tire hitting the soft mud at such a high speed (nearly double the speed Nathan suggested probably), slinging mud and causing him to lose control. Everyone stood as the bike started to fall, flinging JJ off it, but Y/N was already running down the bleachers while Nathan ran towards him from the ground. 

  “JJ,” Y/N yelled, not caring that her white sneakers were getting covered in sloppy mud. Somehow, she managed to get to JJ before Nathan, dropping to her knees, ignoring the cold, uncomfortable feeling of mud shifting under her. “JJ, does anything hurt? Oh my god.” She muttered, shaking fingers trying to undo his helmet strap to pull it off, but she could barely feel any of her limbs as panic took over. 

  “My shoulder,” JJ’s voice was strained and muffled as Y/N still fumbled with the helmet. Finally pulling it off his head, she could see his face screwed up in pain, his other hand clutching the shoulder he landed on (and was currently laying on). “It really hurts.” He could barely open his eyes as he flopped his head back, mud matting into his blonde hair. 

  “His shoulder hurts, what do we do?” Y/N looked up at Nathan who turned the bike off, handing it off to John B to put away. Crouching down on the other side of JJ, he looked down at him. 

  “I think he popped his shoulder out of place,” Nathan observed, looking up at Y/N as she softly stoked JJ’s hair, feeling rather useless as he groaned in pain, a few tears even slipping from his shut eyes, mixing with the mud laying under him. “Let’s sit him up first, but someone has to take him to the hospital to get it set.”  

  “You’re not gonna go to the hospital?” Y/N asked him, eyes nearly popping out. While all of them were now adults, Nathan was in his early thirties making him more of an adult than the 19-year-olds who currently surrounded him.

  A whimper from JJ made her look down at him, seeing him trying to move. Gently, she placed her hand on his chest, rubbing it to calm him down. “I’ll be right behind you guys, I just don’t have the room to drive him to the hospital comfortably in my two-seater.” He pointed over to the car park where his black Mazda MX-5 sat, backed into the spot next to the Twinkie - a hilarious sight. 

  “We’ll help him to the van, Y/N/N,” John B crouched down, placing his hand on Y/N’s shoulder. Startled, she looked over at him. He could see the tears building in her eyes as she blinked at him, nodding. “He’ll be okay, it’s just a popped shoulder. Remember when he broke his collarbone in freshman year? This is like that but less severe.” 

  He knew she already knew that, but when you see the one you love in unbearable pain, common sense tends to take a backseat. “Okay,” She muttered, looking around - needing something to take her mind off her boyfriend laying there, not being able to open his eyes from the amount of pain he was in. “I'll open the passenger seat and get it set for him-” As she spoke, she slowly took her hands from JJ, moving to stand up but her words were cut off as a hand reached out to grab her wrist. 

  “No, stay,” JJ spoke through clenched teeth, his eyes fluttering open to look at her. His crystal clear blue eyes were clouded by tears and laced with pain as she looked back down at him, kneeling beside him. “I need you.” He whimpered, eyes snapping closed again. 

  “I won’t leave you, J.” She reassured him, pressing a kiss to his cheek softly, hoping it brought him some comfort at least. 

____

  After a very uncomfortable drive with John B going way over every single speed limit, Y/N and JJ sat in an ER bay, the curtain shielding them from the rest of the ER. “Do you think I just dislocated it?” JJ asked, his voice hoarse. He shifted his head on the pillow, looking at Y/N. He was laying more comfortably after the doctors prescribed some pain meds, but Y/N was still treating him like a porcelain doll. 

  “The tests are just to make sure they aren’t missing anything, J,” She reassured him, rubbing soothing circles on his good arm. “Whatever it is, I will take good care of you.” She smiled, throwing a wink at him knowing flirty innuendos were his favourite thing ever - especially when they came from his insanely hot girlfriend. 

  Just as JJ opened his mouth to retort, the curtain opened with a flourish. In came the doctor, followed by two interns all sporting crisp white coats. “Okay, Mr. Maybank,” The older looking doctor spoke up, eyes on the tablet he held, clicking away on it. “We got your scans back, and it looks like you have a very minor glenoid fracture on top of your treated dislocation. Now that your dislocation has been reduced, you should feel a little more comfortable, but that fracture is gonna give you some issues,” He explained, setting the tablet down and pulling a prescription pad from his coat pocket. “I am going to prescribe you some pain medication, Hydrocodone,” He spoke as he scribbled quickly. “Also known as Vicodin. I am not going to prescribe much as it's highly addictive, I recommend only using what you need along with icing frequently and resting it for a full two weeks,” He explained, handing JJ the prescription before pulling a pamphlet from his chest pocket. “That’s a pamphlet on opioids explaining how they work, major side-effects to watch out for, and tips to avoid getting addicted to them. I like to hand them out to help patients manage their pain safely.” 

  “How long does the recovery take?” Y/N asked, her hand gripping JJ’s in relief. 

  “Typically, recovery takes a total of 12 to 16 months. Like I said, after two weeks you can return to normal activity aside from heavy-lifting, sports, or strenuous activity. Then, after a span of 6 weeks or 3 months, you can resume normal activity if your shoulder permits. I would recommend a physical therapist to help with recovery, but for now, lots of rest and my interns will put your arm in a sling.” He gave them a tight smile, nodding as he turned and left the makeshift room. 

  “Hear that, J. Lots of rest and you’re gonna be fine.” Y/N smiled, letting go of JJ’s hand, standing to move out of the way of the interns as they moved around, getting his arm in a sling. She busied herself with collecting his shoes as the nurses helped her dress him earlier (so she didn’t jostle his shoulder getting his clothes on. John B had been so kind as to run to their place to get him clean clothes. 

  “You’re all set, Mr. Maybank, we will see you in 6 weeks to check on your recovery.” With that, they also left the makeshift room, leaving the curtain open. Y/N knew they were busy people and it was just an ER, but the speed of everything made her head spin slightly. 

  “I think I could get used to my hot girlfriend taking care of me for two whole weeks,” JJ commented as she kneeled down in front of him from where the interns helped him sit up, his legs over the edge of the bed. She looked up at him, shooting him a scornful look. “I think restraining myself will be a little strenuous though-”

  “JJ Maybank, no funny business until you are better, until you are cleared to resume all activity, any funny business is off the table,” She informed him sternly. He narrowed his eyes at her, pouting his lip. “I mean it JJ. Maybe then you will take recovery seriously.” 

  “If recovery means we can’t take part in my favourite pastime, then I am going to take it as serious as hell,” He remarked. “This is going to be the fastest and best recovery the doctors have ever seen. Then, you are going to have the time of your life once I am cleared.” He smirked, watching as she stood up, shaking her head. 

  Her smile she had been trying to fight broke free as she sat beside him, making sure to sit to his left (his uninjured side). “I am sure you will.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips. The sound of multiple approaching footsteps made them pull away to see their friends slipping into the open curtain. 

  “Nathan is talking to your doctor, he said he would cover the medical bill,” Pope explained, pointing over his shoulder. “Good thing it was only a minor fracture, now we just have to make sure JJ actually listens during recovery.” He remarked, shooting a playful glare at the blonde. Everyone knew JJ would be a pain in the ass during recovery, always doing things he shouldn’t be doing. 

  “Not gonna be an issue,” Y/N spoke confidently. “We already talked about it and JJ is gonna take it very seriously,” She looked towards him, almost daring him not to keep his word when her face suddenly changed, looking like she had a question. “Why did you take that turn too fast anyway? Nathan was telling you to slow down and the course looked extra muddy today thanks to that rainstorm we just had.” 

  Suddenly, JJ’s cheeks tinged red in a blush and he dropped his eyes to his lap. “I wanted to impress you.” He muttered bashfully, ashamed because she endlessly told him that he impresses her every single day. 

  “You’re an idiot, JJ! You severely injured yourself to impress the girl who has seen you throw up on yourself.” She rolled her eyes, slightly shaking his hair, the only thing she thought she could do to not cause him more pain. 

  Quickly, the bashfulness was wiped from JJ’s face as a smug smile took over his face. “Well, at least I am your idiot, right?” JJ asked, making her roll her eyes at him, a large smile fighting a way onto her face as she leaned in. 

  “That’s why you’re an idiot for trying to impress me, you’re mine forever - regardless of idiocy.” She pressed another kiss to his lips, smiling into the kiss like a fool in love. 

  Pope and John B groaned at the display of affection, but Sarah and Kie cooed, hugging each other. Pope and John B started to gag as the kiss lingered, the pair of them staring into each other’s eyes intently. “Oh, shut up guys-” Kie rolled her eyes at Pope and John B. 

  “Y’all know you’re the reason I believe in love, ya know?” Sarah cooed, ignoring the other three, watching JJ and Y/N as if they were her favourite ship in a show. John B shot her a look, gesturing to himself before giving up. JJ and Y/N were the reason they all believed in love. 

When Y/N and JJ first started to go out, many people had opinions on their relationship. A kook and a pogue? Of course people had things to say. All bad coming from the kook side (naturally). Her parents had never let her go more than a day without letting her know how much of a disappointment her choice for a partner was. Claiming that she was just throwing her life away, that she should be dating someone better. Saying that JJ was just holding her back. 

  Her “friends” (former) always told her that he wasn’t enough. He wasn’t romantic enough because he wasn’t showering her with thousand dollar gifts every day. They would trick her into hanging out with them only to smother her in “eligible bachelors” - their words. People she rarely talked to even had an opinion. Anytime she attended (forcefully) a kook party JJ was surprisingly banned from, she was swarmed by guys who paid her no mind in high school, all trying to swindle her away from JJ. 

  She never budged. Not an inch. Putting up an ironclad facade, she ignored them. When she told everyone that her and JJ were moving to the mainland, getting an apartment in the city so they could both go to school, the opinions got louder and nastier. Now, criticizing JJ’s appearance, her ambitions, her talent, JJ’s ambitions, and JJ’s motives. Her parents cut her off, kicking her out in hopes she would choose them over her. Tossing her out with the possessions she wished to take, they threw insults at her, aimed right at her heart, she moved in with JJ and John B until they moved. 

  While her love and devotion never once was shaken by the ridicule, her heart and feelings were. Their fighting words and insults were like a tiny, sharp shard of glass cutting through her confidence and her feelings - piercing her heart. Especially when they came from her family or old friends. Shunned from the life she always had, losing everyone simply because of the person you love. It hurt. They wanted her to stay the same, but to accept them as they change. 

  Everytime she was out in town, the snide remarks shot at her in passing under people’s breaths crawled under her skin, imprinting themselves into her brain. “It’s gonna end and you’re gonna come crying.” “Idiot, throwing her life away for a no-good pogue.” “She’s kissing her life good-bye.” “Dirty Pogue Slut.” “Trailer trash.” The whispered statements swirled around in her head. She didn’t care that they didn’t approve of them. She could give a damn what they thought of them. But those words being spoken by people you had trusted your whole life stung. Knowing that they are saying worse about JJ and herself behind closed doors irked her.

  Opening the door to the Chateau, the voices lowered in her head, the sound of JJ’s humming muting them enough. She looked up, seeing him in the kitchen rummaging through John B’s food. “Hey, Bubs! You got an early start today.” He smiled, eyes lighting up when he saw her. His torso was naked, his boxers hanging low, and his hair messed from the pillow he slept on. He crossed the space between them easily and quickly, his lips falling upon hers sweetly. 

  “I ran some errands, getting some things for the move.” She told him, her voice weak, surprising her. She didn’t think the insults today hurt her that much, but apparently they did. JJ pulled away from her, a frown on his face and concern filling his eyes. 

  “They were giving you a hard time again, weren’t they?” He asked. She sniffled, nodding as he gently took the bags she was carrying from her hands. Paper bags filled to the brim with toiletries, cleaning supplies, and things to help them when they first move into their apartment, more bags piled in her car parked outside. 

  He wrapped his arms around her as he guided her towards the couch. “I try to look unaffected, but JJ,” She paused, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m just too soft. I’m not ironclad, the shit they say hurts.” She whimpered, burrowing her face into his chest, tears leaking out. 

  His arms tightened around her, holding her closer to him as he rocked them gently. “I know, Bubs, I know,” He shushed her, hand rubbing up and down her back. “They are upset because they all wanted something from you that they aren’t getting anymore,” The vibrations of his words rattled in his chest, soothing her. “Just think, in a few days we will be packing up your car and the twinkie, hooking up my bike, and leaving this place behind to where their words can’t reach us.” 

  “What about when we come back to visit?” She sniffled.