what am i without my doomed by the narrative queer ships

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what am i without my doomed by the narrative queer ships

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me, nearing tears: richard...richard please...please just tell me the fucking story
richard, dreamy eyed: today henry winter's shoulders looked especially sloping as his startling blue eyes scanned his homework with the concentration of a monk, though to me he is more like the god they serve. francis' coat billowed behind him, making him look like a student prince, and i admired the way the sun hit his hair, turning the red strands the colour of honey. i love camilla's boyishness and the way her features mirror her brother's so perfectly, framed by her short hair and masculine clothes borrowed from charles. i'm so heterosexual.
drying my eyes: nevermind gayboy, who cares about the murder
Daily affirmations:
1 cigarette is not that bad for me
I can write a perfectly good Greek essay in the last 15 minutes before class
Henry isn't mad at me
Hitting on the new guy in Latin will get me laid
Orgies in the woods are safe
Charles is not mad at me
25 cigarettes are not that bad for me
I locked the door of the country house
Bunny is a philistine
The Red Sox will win the Series
It will not snow
They will find the body
I will not be arrested
I am not terminally ill
Richard is not mad at me
I did not just see a ghost
I can have 1 more drink and still drive
I am a refined scholar
Grandpa will never figure out I date men
2 packs a day are not that bad for me
I'm not in love with Charles
a ship being codependent, toxic, unhealthy, etc. doesnโt automatically make it a bad ship btw
random modern tsh au headcanons
bc i cannot stop thinking about how each of them would be if they were gen z ๐ค tried to keep all of this as true to character as possible

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computer, make me stop morbidly longing for the picturesque at all costs
for every fandom i go through there always seems to be that one super long slow burn camping au fic that's the most perfect fucking thing to grace the earth
au where bunny survives the fall and is admitted into the hospital how do you guys think he would react. how would that even pan out with everyone? obviously he'd be horrifically affected, brain damaged and broken bones and memory loss and such. but i think, once he was cognitive, he could remember well enough what happened and who was behind it.
we've seen him hysterical before (screaming every profanity under the sun at henry, destroying his room, sobbing himself to sleep) so i do think it would be similar to that. i certainly don't think he'd want to see anyone from the greek class afterwards, except maybe richard could get through to him, but no one else. especially not henry
and tbh with the brain damage/confusion i think they would've gone so far as to try and convince him that his knowledge about them killing the farmer was never real and that he imagined that entire situation. that what he saw the night of the bacchanal didn't happen (which, of course, henry came up with that idea)
thoughts?? prayers??? is this stupid???? this has been plaguing my mind i just needed to get it out there