#papcestmas

-

Rus startled out of his nap when he heard the car pull up outside. His sockets went wide, and he leapt up. Just as the SUV shut off, he flung open the door and jumped from the porch, flinging himself into Edge’s arms. Startled but ready, Edge dropped his duffle bag and caught him around the waist, spinning from the momentum.

“you’re back!”

Edge’s mouth twitched as he repressed a smile. “I am.”

From the car, Cash stepped out and leaned on the hood. “he wasn’t even gone a week, you—“

Twist hushed him, jumping out of the car. “Didya miss us too, sweetheart?” he asked cheekily. Edge hugged Rus closer and flipped him off, earning a laugh. Rus didn’t mind. He sighed softly and curled in closer, though he furrowed his brows when he caught Edge’s scent. He smelled strongly of smoke and dried sweat. As much as he loved his boyfriend, he had to admit that he could definitely use a shower. He didn’t let go, though, just clung to him tighter.

“how was your trip?” he asked, while Twist opened the back of the SUV and started pulling Edge’s gear out.

“It was good, but I missed you.” They shared a soft kiss, and Cash honked the horn, causing them to startle.

“you two can make out later—give twisted a hand or we’re going to be here all day.”

Edge glared at him, then turned back to Rus, giving him a quick peck on the mouth. “I’ll just be a moment.” He pulled away and joined Twist at the rear of the car, boosting him up so he could untie the single kayak and pull it down. The tandem—which belonged to Twist and Slim—remained. Slim hopped out and opened the garage for them, grabbing Edge’s tent and bedroll to store inside. Cash nodded in approval, supervising. Rus might have criticized him for not helping, but then again, he wasn’t exactly sure how to help either, so he let it be.

When everything was put away, Edge briefly caught Cash’s forearm in the Fell version of a handshake, squeezing his shoulder to soften the gesture. Twist was having none of that, though; when Edge tried to offer him the same reserved farewell, he scooped him up in a crushing hug. “Had lots ‘a fun this week, sweetheart. ‘til nex’ time?”

“Get off me you—oof!”

Shaking his head, Slim gave him a side-hug. “see you soon,” he murmured, voice soft. They both waved at Rus as they climbed back into the SUV—Cash just gave him a look, barely acknowledging him—and then they were gone. Edge watched them go, shaking his head. But he was smiling softly and…Rus could see that his shoulders, normally tense and tight, had gone soft and relaxed. Despite the visible grime and dirt on his clothes—and the few streaks that marred his bones—he looked pleased with himself, somehow.

Rus’ soul twinged, but he ignored it. “so, uh?” he started, voice a little thick, “have fun?”

Edge offered a subtle nod, picking up his duffle as he ushered Rus inside. “Yes.” He laid an arm over Rus’ shoulders, nuzzling his neck as they stepped inside. “But I’m happy to be home.” Rus smiled slightly, but his fingers still tugged anxiously at his jacket sleeve.

“yeah. i’m happy to have you home too.”

Purring quietly, Edge pressed his mouth to Rus’ acoustic meatus. “I need a shower, but perhaps after, we could…?”

His smile grew more genuine as Rus chuckled softly. “bone?”

Rather than chastising him for being crude, Edge just nipped lightly at his cervical vertebrae. “Stars I missed you. Bad puns and all.”

He ducked his head, truly grinning now. “liar; you didn’t miss my bad puns.”

Dropping his bag, Edge wrapped his arms around his hips, nuzzling into his neck and planting soft kisses or gentle nips by turns. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll tire of them soon enough—“ Rus’ soul twinged again, the soft ache sharpening. “—but they do possess a certain charm.”

“yeah?”

“Yes.” He spun Rus around and kissed him soundly.

Pulling back, Rus pressed their foreheads together. “you keep that up, and you won’t get your shower, edgelord.”

Edge hummed in consideration. “Care to join me?”

He laughed. “no offense, precious, but i think you need to focus more on getting clean. you smell like a camp fire.”

Edge grimaced. “And worse. You’re right. I’ll be out in a bit.” Another soft kiss.

“heh. don’t rush.”

“If you keep taking cracks at the way I smell, I’m going to get offended,” he said, his tone an amusing mix of haughty and teasing. Rus just waved him off. As soon as Edge was gone, though, the ache in his chest returned.

He looked down at Edge’s duffle bag, tugging on his sleeve. He picked it up and carried it into the laundry room, just dumping the whole bag into the basket. He wasn’t jealous, of course. Not really. He’d been invited to join the others, but…camping certainly didn’t sound like his kind of fun, so he’d stayed home like he always did whenever Edge and Twist or Papyrus or even Blue set out on anything that seemed even remotely adventurous. No, he really didn’t need to go on a 5-day backpacking trip through the backcountry, thank you. Or white-water rafting. And he certainly had no intention of climbing any mountains. Someone had to stay home and look after the chickens, right?

But…he’d be lying if he were to say he didn’t miss his boyfriend those days that he was gone, and he’d have to be blind not to see how his time away changed Edge. He always came back with a slight bounce in his step, no matter how dirty or careworn he appeared, and he was always just on the verge of smiling after one of his trips. Rus was happy to see him like that, happy to see him relaxed and enjoying himself, but….

He wished he could be there during his outings, be with him when he allowed himself to relax and cut loose a bit. Wished he could see Edge like that. Wished he could quiet that soft voice that insisted he was one of the things that Edge was seeking a break from. Swallowing hard, he leaned against the washing machine and sank down to the floor, soul-sick. He looped his arms over his knees and pressed his forehead to his patellae. He needed to get it together. When Edge was out of the shower, he’d expect Rus to be ready and willing and eager—he’d know immediately if something was wrong.

As he sat there, though, a thought occurred to him. Frowning, he stood up and made his way upstairs. The bathroom door was open, and Rus didn’t bother knocking. He just slipped inside and sat on the toilet-seat—standard in surface-side dwellings, even if monsters didn’t have any particular need for them. The shower was nearly scalding hot, and the bathroom was misty despite the open door. “hey, edgelord?” He raised his voice slightly to be heard over the rushing water.

“Yes?”

“did, uh, did cash really go camping with you guys?”

“Of course. He always comes with us on these weekend trips.”

Rus blinked. “really?”

“You sound surprised.”

“just, uh, didn’t really think camping would be his thing.”

“Oh, he gripes and complains, but he’s enjoying himself. Otherwise, he wouldn’t insist on coming.”

“huh.” Well. That certainly put a different spin on things. He swallowed and took a risk. “so, edge…do you have any other trips coming up?”

“It’s starting to get late in the season. I wanted to schedule another trip before it got too cold, but Twist and Slim were both busy—and Cash certainly isn’t going to go without them.”

“oh.” Rus hesitated, then took a deep breath—bracing himself for rejection. “would, um. would you? maybe want to go? with, um. with me?”

Edge didn’t answer immediately, and Rus’ soul stuttered as he read reluctance into the silence. Then the water shut off, and he poked his head out of the shower. “You really want to go?”

Rus’ soul unclenched, relief flooding him. Edge’s sockets were crinkled at the corners, and his eyelights were bright. He wanted Rus there. He really did. “yeah,” he breathed, “i. um. i do.” And in that moment, he really did.

Edge’s mouth relaxed into a gentle smile—from him, the equivalent of beaming. “I’d like that.” Then his gaze dropped from Rus’ face, to take the rest of him in. “I’m clean now.”

It was an obvious invitation, and one Rus was happy to accept.

-

As they set out the morning of their scheduled camping trip, Rus warily eyed the skies. “…does it look like it’s going to rain to you?”

Edge, loading a firepit into the back of their car, glanced up. His mouth twitched into a frown, but he shook his head. “The forecast said there’d be rain to the south of us, but we should be in the clear. It is going to be cold, though—you packed warm clothes, right?”

“i used to live in snowdin, precious; i think i’ll be okay.”

“I know your HP makes you more sensitive to changes in temperature. I just want you to be prepared; we’ll be in a tent, not a house.”

As always when Edge mentioned his low HP, Rus bristled. “yeah, i know how camping works.” Edge paused, turning to regard him with upraised brow-bones. Rus flinched and looked away. “don’t worry. i’ve got it. are we ready or what?”

“Just a few more things.”

“you said we’d only be gone for a few days. do we really need all this?” That earned him another look, to which he held up his hands and said, “i’ll go check on the chickens one more time.” Papyrus had agreed to come by and feed them, but saying goodbye certainly wasn’t going to hurt.

The drive out to the campground was long and winding, and Rus found himself forced to stare straight ahead for fear of getting ill. Edge, thankfully, slowed down when he insisted he was going too fast for comfort, though. It was mid-afternoon by the time they reached the campground and checked in with the camp hosts, who issued them a tag for their car. Edge greeted them like old friends—though, coming from Edge, that just meant he addressed them each by name. The older couple was considerably warmer, especially when he introduced them to Rus.

“Ah—the illusive boyfriend!” the older woman—Sheila—said, patting Rus’ hand. “It’s wonderful to meet you, sweetie. I hope you enjoy yourself. And I hope to see you again.”

The older man—called Norm—was gruffer, but he looked Rus up and down before giving a sharp nod. “Just knock on our door if you need anything. We’ve got wood if you need it—$5 a bundle. $2 cheaper than you’ll find hereabouts.”

Edge thanked him and politely excused the both of them, saying he wanted to start setting up. The humans waved them on, and the skeletons’ car pulled away, following the dirt track to their site. Rus peered out through the window. It was densely wooded—oak trees curled low over the ground, their limbs a heavy sprawl. A handful of tall pines grew up between the oaks, but for the most part, the oaks seemed to dominate the forest.

Without looking away from the road, Edge said, “See the reddish plants out there?”

“uh, yeah?” It was everywhere, so far as he could tell, forming a thick underbrush under the oak trees, even climbing up some of them.

“That’s poison oak. I’ve no idea if it would have any affect on a skeleton monster; Twist’s the only one crazy enough to give it a try, and Slim and Cash won’t let him.” At Rus’ appalled gasp, Edge clarified, “It’s not—it isn’t that kind of poison. It’s an irritant; apparently, it gives humans a rash if they touch it. So don’t touch it.”

He stared at the veritable sea of red outside the window. “…how do you avoid it?”

“Very carefully. We’re here.” He pulled into a small cut out, marked with a numbered post.

Curious, Rus stepped out and started walking the area while Edge began to unload. The packed earth underfoot was littered with fallen oak leaves, but the area had been cleared of poison oak, at least. A metal box, about the size of a steamer trunk rested beside the numbered post, and Rus bent to study it. “It’s for our food,” Edge said, using a shovel to dig out a shallow pit for their firepit. “To keep the bears from getting into it.”

He raised a brow-bone. “that’s kind of rude, isn’t it? a little species-ist, too. the bears back underground weren’t really the kind to steal anyone’s food just because it’s out in the open.”

“Not that kind of bear.”

It took Rus a moment to realize what he meant. “oh, wait—there’s? like? animal bears out here? just—around?”

Edge paused, one hand on his hip. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but where did you think they’d be?”

“not—here. where there are people! what if one shows up?”

Sighing, Edge sauntered over and wrapped his arms around Rus’ shoulders. “Darling. Dearest. My love. We’ve been up here hundreds of times, and we’ve only seen a bear once, and he was more than content to be on his way and leave us alone. The point of the bear boxes is to keep them wild, so they aren’t attracted to humans or the campground. Don’t worry about it. Just throw your trash in the bins—“ He pointed to the bear-proof dumpsters down the road. “—and don’t bring any food into the tent. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

Rus still found himself surveying the woods like he might spot a bear at any moment. Rolling his eyelights, Edge pulled away and teasingly said, “Be glad you’re not a fleshy monster—snakes are far more common, but their fangs aren’t strong enough to penetrate bone.”

“snakes?!”

-

After it got dark, Rus found himself digging through his bag for more layers and a heavier coat. No sign of snow, but it was close to freezing out here, and the fire didn’t seem to warm him at all. He’d been sitting in front of it, shivering for nearly an hour—and growing annoyed when Edge asked if he needed a jacket. He knew it was irrational. Edge himself was bundled up in a heavy jacket and a hat, wearing his customary gloves. Nonetheless, it felt like a subtle dig at his HP, even if Edge probably hadn’t intended it that way.

Sullen and chilled, Rus sat in front of the fire, feeling like creatures were watching him from the woods. Bears or mountain lions (which were also apparently a thing) or wolves (which Edge insisted were not). So far, it hadn’t been an especially fun trip for him. Edge had warned him that they’d be out of cell range, but he still found himself compulsively checking his phone, annoyed to be disconnected from his social media accounts. He’d have so much to catch up on when he got back—and he didn’t even have any good pictures to show for it. Edge had suggested they go on a hike, but Rus hadn’t really felt like it, and the area around their camp wasn’t exactly scenic. Just the same boring grey oak trees, surrounded by far too much poison oak.

He sighed heavily, poking the fire with a stick. “You’re not enjoying yourself,” Edge observed.

“no!” he said, knowing the lie was obvious. “i am! it’s just….”

“We can go home tomorrow,” Edge said, working to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but Rus could sense it.

“no, we…don’t have to go. i can stick it out for a couple more days….”

Edge sighed. “This isn’t meant to be a test of endurance, Rus. If you don’t want to be here, then—“

Crack!

Rus snapped to his feet, soul hammering. “what that--?” Edge cursed under his breath and dashed to the car, digging into the trunk. His reaction did nothing to calm Rus. “edge?! was that thunder?”

“Yes,” he grumbled, pulling a tarp out of the trunk. Rus immediately started worrying about trees and forest fires and being struck by lightening and-- “It looks like the forecast was wrong. We’re probably in for a wet night. I should have known when I saw the tarantulas….”

“tarantulas?!”

“That’s not important right now, just be sure to check your shoes before you put them on in the morning.”

Repulsed and appalled, Rus sputtered, “what?! you’re not serious, are you?”

Edge paused, tarp in hand. He looked very tired. “We’ll go home in the morning. Just get inside the tent and don’t touch the walls if they get wet. They’re water-resistant, but only if you don’t touch them when they’re wet.”

Rus stared at him, shivering and miserable. Another crack of lightening echoed, closer this time. He flinched and ducked into the tent, toeing off his shoes. He thought about changing into his pajamas, but it was so cold, the very idea made him miserable. He just crawled into the sleeping bag, curling in on himself. Outside, Edge threw the tarp overtop the tent, staking it down. Midway through, a drenching downpour suddenly hit, and Edge swore. A heavy wind picked up, and he cursed again, wrestling the tarp down to finish the job.

Rain pattered on the ‘roof’, the raindrops heavy and loud. Rus hunkered down further, waiting for Edge to return. Rus could hear him carrying equipment and supplies into the car, occasionally swearing. By the time he ducked into the tent, he was dripping and shivering hard. He stripped off his soaking clothes and grabbed a towel to dry off.

Shivering, he pulled thick sweatpants from his pack and tugged them on, followed by a thermal undershirt. He dug out something else and handed it to Rus. “Hand-warmers,” he said, “crack them in the bag and hold them between your hands or put them down by your feet.”

Grateful, Rus nodded and cracked the bag, sighing in gratitude when the small pouch began to heat up. Edge crawled into the other sleeping bag, scooting closer. “There’s a tarp under us,” he said, “Hopefully, the water won’t seep in.”

Rus stared at him with wide sockets. “are you—seriously?”

Edge just shrugged. “If gets bad, we can sleep in the car.” He didn’t even sound all that annoyed, just resigned. Maybe disappointed. His eyelights disappeared when he shut his sockets. He sighed, settling into his sleeping bag. “Are you warm enough? We might be able to zip these together, if you’d prefer.”

Disgruntled, Rus mumbled, “i’d prefer to go home.”

“If you want to take the tent down in the rain, you’re more than welcome to.” His sockets were still shut, and he still sounded largely unconcerned. Rus’ hip-bones ached already, and he was pretty sure there was a rock somewhere under him.

“edge,” he whispered.

“Hmm?”

“this isn’t fun,” he whispered.

Edge sighed, sockets opening. “I’m sorry, love.” The bag shifted and he reached out, slipping a hand into Rus’ sleeping bag to grasp his hand. “The weather’s notoriously unreliable up here. It’s almost enough to make you miss living Underground.” Thunder rumbled, as if to punctuate his words.

“no, i mean—yeah, the storm sucks but…none of this is fun. why do you do this?”

Edge was silent at first, then he shifted again, unzipping their bags so he could pull Rus closer. His arms curled around him, and Rus sighed, snuggling into him. He tucked his feet against Edge’s shins, shivering still. Edge did his best to rearrange the sleeping bags, wrapping them around each other to serve more like blankets. “I’m sorry,” he said again, murmuring into Rus’ acoustic meatus. “I know you don’t get it…but it is something I enjoy.”

“…even though you have to check your shoes for tarantulas before you put them on.”

“Even then.” He squeezed Rus, sinking into him. Rus’ shivering had started to subside, warmed by Edge’s presence. “Even now,” Edge said.

“…you’ve got to be joking.”

Edge shook his head, pulling back to look at him. “Can you hear the rain?”

It was thrumming hard and steady on the roof of the tent. “it’s pretty hard to miss, edgelord.”

“You don’t…?”

“don’t what?”

A faint red blush touched Edge’s cheekbones, but he nevertheless asked, “You don’t think there’s something beautiful about that?”

Rus didn’t answer. He took a moment to listen to the rain, trying to find the beauty in it. “i. i guess?”

Edge relaxed a little. “And there’s something nice about this, too,” he said, squeezing Rus. “Being close to you like this.”

“we sleep like this almost every night—and we don’t even have to be on the verge of freezing.”

Edge chuckled, but damn if he didn’t sound almost cheerful. “True.”

“you’re actually okay with this?”

“Well it certainly didn’t turn out the way I would have preferred,” Edge admitted, “but it could have definitely been worse.”

Rus just had to laugh, pressing his forehead into Edge’s collarbone. He still didn’t get it. It made no damn sense. But…there was definitely something endearing about Edge’s optimistic attitude. He shifted to kiss Edge softly. “i love you,” he murmured, “but we’re definitely going home in the morning.”

“As you wish.”

In fact, they ended up going home at one in the morning, when water began to seep up from under the tent and into their sleeping bags. Even Edge had to agree that that was just too much to endure.

-

(Bonus)

Months later, Rus conveyed all this to Cash as the others were packing for their next trip, finishing by saying, “i don’t know how you do it. i mean, i get twist—even slim i can understand, but you can’t possibly enjoy going on these trips with them.”

With a calculating look in his socket, Cash pulled a cigarillo out and lit it. “go pack a bag, tale-verse.”

“did you not—did you not hear what i just said? about everything?”

“i heard. now go pack a bag.”

“i’m not—“

“you want to spend more time with your boy-toy or not?”

“he’s not—don’t call him that. and….” Cash raised a brow-bone, and Rus sighed. “of course i want to spend more time with him. but i’m not going to make myself miserable to do it.”

Rolling his eyelights, Cash said, “there’s a hotel close by. those four idiots can sleep on the ground and go without showering if they want, but i have a warm bed and free wi-fi just a shortcut away. i can pull a few strings, get you a room of your own. now go pack a bag.”