#palustris

he is that kind of nerd that is really, really private about his nerdiness to the extent that you'd assume he's a jock but when he opens up in private you're like goddamn this guy is a massive nerd. he's not particularly outgoing, preferring to avoid conversations outside of his companions, and is kind of scary by virtue of being a dragonborn. so while stat-wise he does have decent charisma, roleplay-wise it's explained because he has lethal resting bitch face and terrible social skills/no interest in selling himself as something he's not. so while he is basically allergic to outright lying, he is widely in favor of lying by omission. it's much easier to hold your tongue than to flick it thoughtlessly.

he has real issues trusting people at first. he's cynical, assumes self-serving/bad intentions from the vast majority of people, but once someone has made an effort towards him (e.g. meeting his needs unprompted, complimenting him, remembering something important about him, sharing something important about themselves) he invests a lot into maintaining the relationship. he believes in reciprocity and that a lasting bond requires effort from both parties. he shows he cares by spending time on people either directly by helping them with his bare hands in the moment or by doing things off to the side that he knows will make them happy when they notice.

Palustris has a tremendously solid sense of self, unwilling to change for anyone or anything, so meeting someone who both trusts him and doesn't have that security and stability (aka the entire fucking companion lineup) kicks him into a new gear: caring about people. he doesn't know what to think of it or do about it other than either firmly guarding them or, if that makes them uncomfortable, wait quietly and anxiously for them to ask for help. he doesn't like to admit it outwardly but he gets a lot of satisfaction from when people come to him for love and support since it's something that very few ever considered him for prior to the gang getting together.

his affection towards Astarion is... complicated. in his stupor and stress and desperation from the tadpole debacle he legitimately fell for Astarion--the honeyed words, the biting, the sex, all of which he assumed were mutually enjoyed. (I haven't reached the point where Astarion shares that he never intended to care about you and ended up falling in love anyway, but I know it's coming 😔.) it will hurt deeply when he finds out that Astarion's attraction to him was exaggerated even for a moment, to know that he was giving more than his partner ever intended to repay. it will be extremely hard for him to hear that he's been manipulated even if Astarion doesn't want to do that anymore. Palustris ultimately finds it easier to be casually and broadly distrusting than to deeply and lovingly trust anyone, but the shit that matters in life isn't easy. it's so much more rewarding to make things right than to give up. he made up his mind pretty early about Astarion (that he was both a formidable ally and a deeply intriguing/attractive personality) and has no logical reason to give up on him especially when trying to deal with the game conflicts. his trust is hard to win, yes, but he's also hard to get rid of once you've won. he develops a ridiculously strong patience over time.