Memories Trapped in Time (AO3 Fan Fic)
Memories Trapped in Time. 18+
Insert Chapter (new 12) snippet : Coming soon more insert chapters because this isn't Ikea and I can build it how I want.
It's not all kisses and bloody roses between these two. Astarion pushes Aloria too far and the consequences are revealing.
Warning: Language and big feelings.
“Is that the real reason?” He asked. Allowing distrust to coat his voice like barbed wire.
Aloria looked up at him.
“What?”
“You won’t support me because the future is muddled? As if this entire adventure of ours has been somehow scripted.”
“I just don’t feel like we have all the information yet Astarion. You are basing your decision on what we’ve been told by a devil with a flair for storytelling. He could know more and be purposely leaving out details that could completely change the outcome. I’m not trying to fill you with doubt; I’m trying to look out for you. Something is missing. I can feel it.”
His face was neutral, but his voice was accusing.
“So you say. But I know how you move. Ever the hero.” He turned so he was facing her more fully. “Are you certain it is not because I would be a true vampire and thus unworthy of your approval?”
Adrenaline spiked through her. Partly for being called out on her true fear and partly for the fact that he was starting to talk to her from a place of arrogance.
“As someone who bedded you, fed you and befriended you that sounds like a hypocrisy I wouldn’t participate in.”
“Everyone fucks me.” He said matter-of-factly. “You’re nothing special.”
The statement left his mouth before he could stop it. It shot across the space between them like a magic missile that hit her hard.
The blatant disregard for her worth struck a familiar nerve. Her first thought was to flee. Remove herself and hope the space would cool his tongue. The second was to bargain. Argue that he wasn’t seeing her correctly. The third was to do what she never did in these types of situations.
Retaliate.
She could still see Astarion. She could still sense the room but the inner voice that often told her to submit for the sake of safety was not the one with her now. She felt like she was watching from inside an avatar she had no control over anymore.
“Is that what I did? Fucked you? Held you down in the dirt and had my way? Funny, that’s not how I remember it.”
Astarion blinked. He had seen her angry in a battle, but this wasn’t anger. It was defiance. And it was stunning.
“Am I wrong? You are certain that stepping into my full vampiric glory wouldn’t be an abomination to your heroic nature? You are, after all, such a very good girl.”
The side of Aloria’s mouth curled up into a derisive grin.
“Well, Pardon me while I fuck up your self-serving reality with my so called good nature oh would be heir of the dark throne.”
“There you are. Show me your teeth lover.” He thought to himself as he fought the urge to bite his lower lip.
The clap back excited him. Provoked him. Made him want to push harder just to feel the sharp edges of her boundaries as she stood to face him.
“Yes. I am concerned that once you do this you will be a true vampire. You yourself said true vampires are paranoid, power-hungry beasts. Gave miles of detailed commentary about how violent and depraved Cazador is. Do you think I want to help you seize some fancy throne surrounded by all the wealth of the world just to watch you go bat shit crazy and start hurting innocent people?”
“I will not be HIM!” He snarled. Anger breaking the surface of his resolve at being compared to his master. “Cazador is weak! Utterly insane and incapable of wielding power. I will be better. I will not deny may nature, but I do not seek to be perverse.”
“Will you make your own spawn?”
“In time. Yes. It would be pointless to be a lord with no one to rule.”
“How did Cazador become a master vampire? And his master before him? And before that and before that and before that?”
Anger stirred in his guts at her line of questioning.
“If you have a point, do get to it soon.”
“They were killed by their own heirs! And you venture to continue that cycle. Regardless of how powerful you think this might make you, the pattern of violence will continue. The slave seeks freedom from the master.”
“You seem certain I will abuse them to the point of rebellion. How disappointing to hear my lover thinks me a monster. Perhaps you have always thought that of me.”
“Don’t you dare speak for me!” She spat and pushed further into his space. “This power is demonic at its core! How many demons have we met we haven’t had to kill?!”
“And how many fights have we lost?! If you are afraid then say so! Stop using me as an excuse to be a coward! It’s beneath you!”
“A coward?! I’m a coward?! Oh, that’s rich coming from you! You narrow sighted, self-righteous,.... sexual intellectual!”
“Who’s calling who righteous?! Admit it! You are simply making up reasons to stop me because you fear losing control of me!”
“I FEAR LOSING YOU PERIOD!”
She panted with the effort to stay present. To stop the rage that slammed the chained doors of her subconscious like a massive beast desperate to escape.
See me…
“I will not lose another person I care for to the Hells! I. DO. NOT. TRUST. THIS. PATH! She screamed as she slammed her fist down on the table between each word. Rattling the teacup on its saucer. “How can YOU of all people not understand that?! You are too smart to act this fucking stupid!"
