#paasa

I want you to know how thankful I am that I met you. I am thankful that you made ways that led to what we are right now. I am thankful that despite of everything—the way I interacted with you in the beginning, the way I treated you from the start, the way I talked to you—you never gave up. I am thankful because you keep on choosing me after several uncertainties that I have made you feel. I am thankful because you never get tired of making my every day bright. I am thankful because you always show trust and faith in me when it comes in handling my shits without any judgements. I am thankful because you are always at my back to support me with every decisions I make. I am thankful because you understand the pains that I have been through. I am truly thankful because you make me happy once again.

I want you to know that you give butterflies in my stomach. I want you to know that you make me feel secure and safe everytime that I am with you. I want you to know that I love being with you and you being around because I am not aftaid to be me—no pretentions, no holding backs.

I want you to know that you are scaring me—scaring me for the fact that you can read me—my actions, my gestures, my expressions and I have nothing to hide from you. I am scared because you are a game changer! You have this capacity to defy the rules I set for myself; you made me come out from the walls I built. I see much potential in you.

I want you to know that I am starting to like you too. No! I like you now. Everytime you are around, you always give me opposing feelings: I become serious but deep inside I want to be bubbly; sometimes I feel like I am standing at the edge of a cliff, excited to take plunge but at the same time I am holding back.

Saan aawit ang mga salita?

Sa bawat istorya ng tadhana,

O sa bawat katha ng makata?

Sayo ko lang narinig ang kanta

Gawa ng mapanlinlang mong dila.

Heto ako, sa ‘yo umaasa

Sa bawat awitin mo sa ‘kin pa.

Naniniwala ‘kong gago’t tanga,

Sayo ako ay wala lang pala.

‘Di na muli pang mamahalin ka

At mga salita mo ay lintik na,

after the quiet phase, you smiled

wearing a gray shirt says it's the middle day,

your hair, your eyes, our sight's tied,

i hope you remember it all too well.

singing nostalgic songs, i know it all

cracking jokes, you carelessly throw them all,

laughing like there's apocalypse, no it's not magic;

it was your humor, i like them all.

you told me about your past beside the sleeping sun,

i can still remember the pain dancing behind my spine,

the air is cold, the motion of the butterflies are gone, they're all gone;

watching you sad, makes me want to hug you,

but the ocean stopped me, and i just stared at you.

open your eyes, i was there beside you, after all.

you're dancing in the midnight wearing red,

we're lost in location in the fairy lights shed

please, make it slow, upstairs we talked slow

i don't want to go, i'm here for your smell,

your wide chest, cracked lips and sexy elbow.

lying beside me on a long red bed, watching you sleep with a scented blanket, i was scared because i fell;

i fell to a story that wasn't in your book,

i fell to a guy who laughs so hard with a rosy cheeks and a bad gal look.

the magic's not here no more, the spark was left behind the shore, the cinema and the lights of christmas drama;

i broke the promise of being honest, i faked a smile as i kill the false drama.

i told the moon to guide you,

i told the waves to make you happy, i told the wind to hug you, i told myself to forget you;

buried our memories in the sand, hid the laughter under my shirt, tore all the tickets, faced the truth that you're not caring.

i can't rid of it, you tapped my hand,

you stared at me, you hugged me when no one's looking,

you asked me how's my day, you gave your craziness;

yes, it's rare, but for you it's not real, it's okay,

i was there, you were there, i expect.