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Kokoro Sagashite

“Sakuya-san, I....”

Searched for a heart. Always, in the back of my mind, there was an ache.

The anxiety that wraps around me, the meaning behind the lonesome tears. Ah~ the pain, too. I understand the ache in my chest and that makes me happy. I’m also able to have a heart just like yours, don’t I?

Even if it’s scary, I’ll try to live. Because I promised this to myself. I don’t know how I’ll do it, but that may also be part of “living.”

“Thanks to meeting you, I...”

Found (felt) my heart. Always (for some time now), in the back of my mind, there was an ache (Feelings). The anxiety that wraps around me (holds me tight), the meaning behind the lonesome (painful) tears (Twinkles). Ah~ the pain, too. (And the joy) I understand (know) the ache in my chest (the warmth), and that makes me happy. I’m also able to have a heart just like yours, don’t I? Even if it’s scary (that’s right), I’ll try to live (together with us). Because (the day we made that vow) I promised this to myself (and to us). I don’t know how I’ll do it but (Don’t worry) that (definitely) may also be part of “living.” (It’s alright, we’re together) That may also be part of “living.”

In the second musical, Sakuya was awestruck when he saw Aigis and it was pretty obvious he felt drawn to her; that he felt a certain familiarity in her, something special -  “precious” as he himself put it. There was a connection there and their song put it best: they felt the other was precious from the moment they laid eyes on each other, and their locked hearts were thereafter “open” and “overflowing”. Seriously, their song is fantastic and it describes Aikoto so, so well. The fact that they reach out for the other while singing only makes it more poignant.

The thing is that, at that point Sakuya had no idea what to make of Aigis and what she made him feel (another thing he mentions in his part of their song: “I don’t know  you, I have yet to know the first thing about you. Tell me your secret. Because I’m sure that from now on…”). So in a way, I felt he was being cautious around her and trying not to get too close.

...That all flew to the wind whenever Aigis was in danger, though.

Since Aigis’s introduction, Sakuya was always the first to react and run to Aigis whenever she was in danger. She was even the first person he instinctively checked on when the group got attacked.

He protected her just as much as Aigis protected him, and it’s fantastic that the musicals chose to show this without making a big fuss over of it. It was meant to feel natural; instinctive. If you ask me, the fourth musical only proved this running trend, because when Aigis got taken down by Ryoji, Mitsuru made a point about reassuring Sakuya that she would take care of Aigis so that he would finish pulling himself together.

Back to Sakuya’s mentality regarding Aigis during the second musical, though. The final scene of the musical showed it the best, I think. Even when the curtains were about to drop, Sakuya shared one last look with Aigis before leaving the stage.

At that point in the timeline, he was curious about her but very confused. And that made him guarded.

Then comes the third musical, and both things remain true: Sakuya’s always caring for Aigis, be it when she’s in danger or when she needs help putting up a costume.

But there’s still a sense of caution there in their normal day to day scenes. Which is normal because this musical merely covers one month, and their characters were not the focus. So they take a backseat and we only get glimpses of their bond here and there; very much like in the real game.

By the time the fourth musical rolls around though, there’s been a change. It’s like Sakuya has fully come to accept Aigis now, and it’s impossible to tell if Aigis is wherever Sakuya is or if it’s actually the other way around. They come together, they leave together, they react in sync, and they are also extremely touchy-feely in a way they aren’t with anyone else.

And there’s also the music. Much like in the movies, they have their own background song, Touch my Heartstrings, and it plays whenever they have an important moment together. This above all really shows how much care was put into them and their interactions. Not to mention that since Aigis’s introduction, she is always the one sharing lines with Sakuya during the group songs (a blessing because Zaq’s and Shoutan’s voices blend amazingly well together).

All in all, it reminds me of the game. The Aikoto starts with a bang and then it steps out of the spotlight. It remains constant, quiet and sweet in the background until November, where it kicks up and doesn’t stop growing until the very end of the game.

Which of course, brings me to the last musical.

To begin with, it was very sweet that they took a page out of the movies and made Sakuya go visit Aigis at the laboratory. But the movies weren’t the only thing they took a page out of; the games and the drama CD were very much present, too. Just like in those, Sakuya was very sweet and alert when it came to Aigis’s developing emotions and any questions she may have, and made sure to reassure her that she is just like a human. The moment when Aigis’s persona evolves is a highlight; during her song she even tells him “Because I met you, I found my heart.” Too good, too pure.

They also made sure to include their first rooftop scene. Just like in the game, before the final battle, everyone gets paired up so they share their final moments with another character important to them (in this case, we have Aigis and Makoto, Chidori and Junpei and Mitsuru and Akihiko.)

During their scene, Sakuya shares his perspective about life with Aigis (he evens explains ”Memento Mori” to her) and helps her come to terms with her own. There’s also a little from PQ in there. When Aigis tells him that she does not yet understand what it means to live, but that she wants to understand, Sakuya tells them they would search for the meaning. Together.

But there was one important change that really stood out to me. As you may remember, during their first rooftop scene, Aigis was meant to tell him that the reason she wanted to stay by his side had nothing to do with Death. In other words, she was supposed to more or less confess without actually understanding what she was confessing in the first place.

Well, the musicals took that out of their first rooftop scene and focused on Aigis’s wish to protect everyone and to live together with everyone. Aigis’s feelings for Sakuya got moved somewhere else. Can you guess where?

That’s right. To Aigis’s speech before Sakuya passes away.

I found that very touching, because by that point in time Aigis does understand her feelings–and it only makes her words even more powerful.

And you know what made it even more powerful? That Sakuya outright reaches out to cup her cheek when she confesses with this look on his face and then we cut to Memories of You.

And I say that he’s cupping her cheek rather than wiping her tears away because Aigis isn’t actually crying yet by that point. And in the female version of the musical, this is followed by a head-pat.

I could honestly go on forever about the way the musical handled the rooftop scene. It was perfect. It was true to the game while still giving its own touch, and I really loved it.

But my favorite part has got to be how they made sure to sync the lyrics to Aikoto. The fact that Aigis and Sakuya turn to look at each other when Aigis sings him the line “Love through all eternity” is just everything.

(Interestingly enough, this little detail actually doesn’t happen in Kotone’s version of the musical.)

And them turning to smile at each other when we hear “I’ll never leave you”?

No words.

I also love that they made Aigis serenade him Memories of You. That they gave them this moment before everyone else joins in, because to me this song will always be about her feelings and her promise to him and this shows the Musical Team sees it the same way.

But, honestly? I feel like they pretty much got all the Aikoto themes down to a tee. And that’s what I love the most about the entire thing.

They not only made sure to portray their instinctive connection, how they protect each other and help each other grow; they also made sure to portray their mutuality through little details like these and everything else I mentioned though the post. Hell, they even grabbed the “Fate” theme that Arena spelled out and brought it up during their final moments together, having Sakuya appear on stage with Aigis right as Aigis wondered if “it was fate” that her heart was now in motion.

I’m just... extremely thankful that they were this kind to them. It’s like they grabbed everything I’ve always associated and loved about them and put it in motion.