another day, another shift at the cafe. at first it hadn’t been too busy, the afternoon rush having died down, students heading off to afternoon lessons and leaving the cafe quiet, occupied by the few older students who had a free period. mj was glad his shift started after everything slowed down, grateful for the peace and quiet, if only for a few hours before the inevitable evening scrimmage - students rushing in for their last coffee to keep them going through their studying and homework.

it had already been a few hours of making the odd coffee here and there, and thankfully he had wheein to keep him company - he’s not sure he’d be able to stand it if she wasn’t there with him, someone he could easily talk to. however as the end of the school day came and mj could swear he could hear the stampede of feet heading for the cafe, he took a deep breath, sent a glance over to wheein, a sort of good luck, then took his position at the counter and waited for the inevitable chaos.

it came too soon, the orders flying in and mj’s hands fumbling with cups and milk cartons and knobs and buttons, trying not to mess anything up. he was turning to grab another milk carton from the refrigerator when he felt someone grab the strap at the back of his apron, tugging him backwards. head whipping round he found an impatient customer reaching over the counter with a frown on their face, their knuckles digging into the small of his back.

“hey! can’t you be faster? some of us have studying to do!”

he couldn’t focus on the words though, all he felt was the touch to his back, the painful shivers it sent up his spine, and the sudden tensing of his entire body. he could feel it consume him, the sudden memories of hands hitting and pushing and pulling.

it seemed like centuries before he was able to move, tugging himself free of the grip the customer had on him, the empty milk carton in his hand dropping to the floor. he didn’t think as he began to hurriedly walk towards the store room behind the counters and workstations, trying to ignore the way his chest was constricting, and his brain whirring, his hands clenching into fists as he felt his heartbeat spike.

shutting the door behind him he practically fell into the corner of the room, curling his knees to his chest and squeezing his eyes shut. he could still feel the touch to his back, could still feel the fear and the overwhelming inability to take a proper breath. what if he actually suffocated this time? what if this wasn’t even a panic attack- what if he was having a real heart attack?

the thought only made his heartbeat quicken, tears pricking at his eyes as he felt himself losing control of the situation - he’d thought he had a hold on these,  whatever these were, but what if he was dying this time?

he felt like he might be.