#oxyhaemoglobin

applying for an intermission from university feels like the best decision i’ve made but that doesn’t mean that i’m all better which is a minor irritance

((This ended up being more upset than I intended, sorry)) I really miss what I used to be like? I feel as though depression throughout high school and uni has totally wasted me, I had/have vague passion for my subjects but no motivation or desire to do anything about it, no energy to get up and explore or just generally do things, but in sixth form I had recovered and was doing everything for myself and was one of those people who did so much extra curricular stuff and was always busy and had a good social life and I feel like I've missed out on so much (especially at uni) because I know how my life could have kept going but depression and other stuff has totally held me back again and it's fucking horrible, especially once you've had a taste of the person you're meant to be and you can't get back there because you just feel trapped and because you don't deserve it and you never have