got my goat
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got my goat

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Since I’ve been in a heavy abiotic factor mood(again, I recommend checking out the game now that it’s completed), let’s talk what the Crewfu is and their roles in the story that may one day appear.
First if all let’s start with the main characters, dumb and dumber themselves. Steve is what is called a trans-kinematic researcher, or in other words he does offense meanwhile his counter part, DK, is a defense analyst.
Then you have Hafu and 5up. Hafu is an archotechnic consultant so she main constructions. There are actual story reasons I’m not gonna get into yet. Then there’s 5up official role is a somatic gastrologist, aka a cook.
Then there’s Baycon, a lab assistant to Gumi, and an expert in stealth because of that role.
Next up is Janet and Koji. Janet is a epimedical bionomicist, so a medic for short. Koji meanwhile is a photogenic botanist or a gardener for all their plants.
There’s also Apollo and Aipha. Dumbdog is a paratheoretical physicist, or he throws things and does utilities. Then there’s Aipha, who’s a summer intern so he doesn’t have a real role yet but he’s useful at least.
Coming in next are Kimi and Ovilee. Kimi, much like JanJan, is a epimedical bionomicist. Ovilee is like Steve and is a trans-kinematic researcher
Scott is similar to Hafu and is a archotechnic consultant.
Kara and Skadj also exist here. Kara doubles up with Baycon as a lab assistant, though it isn’t clear who she assured. Skadj was much like 5up and is a somatic gastrologist.
Junk and Courtilly are both a bit complicated in why they are what they are. Courtilly is simply a paratheoretical physicist like Apollo. Meanwhile Junk is actually a defense analyst much like DK.
Finally there’s Swifyz, Ant, and Whyin. Swif and Whyin are both summer interns like Aipha, so they kinda get stuck together a lot. Then there’s Ant, a photogenetic botanist.
me:
Something fun I came up with earlier was a road trip and how that would go with the Crewfu. They’ve managed to somehow divide themselves into three different cars.
The drivers of the cars are respectively dumb and dumber. Which is a horrible decision but in reality Steve is a great driver(ignoring roundabouts) and he follows DK wherever they are going. DK is a bit better about it but will forget to use his signals. He’s a Florida man afterall.
Now the navigators in each car are Janet and Hafu. Hafu is DKs navigator and operates the music. There’s a reason she’s in charge even though she can’t drive, plus she trusts DK won’t get them killed. Janet is Steve’s navigator. The amount of arguing in that poor car is not great. Hence why they’re following.
DK and Hafu got the calm car. Junk is sitting behind Hafu, not really paying attention to anything, while Koji and Courtilly talk about wherever. Court is in charge of snacks as she’s stuck between Koji and Junk.
The backseat of that car is a bit more dramatic but still calm. You have Kara behind Junk, annoying him whenever she can, while Ovilee sits in the middle seat. Scott has claimed a window and will not trade Ovilee no matter how much she tries to convince him.
Poor Steve and Janet have a bit more…chaos going on. For starters they have 5up and Apollo arguing over the seat behind Steve, which also means they keep arguing over who’s in charge of snacks. Kimi is sitting behind Janet, because she gets carsick but Steve’s driving won’t make her, and Swifyz is in the middle of that part.
In the very back is either 5up or Apollo, depending on who won the argument at any given moment. Along with Aipha in the middle, and Skadj behind Kimi. Aipha is Aipha, and is just being loud while bothering whoever is with him. Skadj is regretting leaving Alaska for this bullshit.

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Ok, let’s talk backstories in my favorite world with the Crewfu. My space au. Things vary depending on stories so it’s always fun sprinkling extra details in. This turned into more about roles and ranks but whatever. Also, I have a whole spreadsheet of people, crews, ranks, roles, colors, please send me help. Im losing my fucking mind over here. As always, please, give me your thoughts.
Let’s start with Hafu. Commander of the Skeld, moves to be officer of exploration. Before that though she worked briefly for Northernlion on the Search and rescue ship to kinda grasp how to be a commander.
Then you have 5up. Started under Hafu as her second in command, worked briefly on xQcs ship(who’s evil in my world) where he created a lifelong enemy, got half his face burned off(because he rarely takes off his helmet), and eventually became the commanding officer of rehabilitation. More on that in a bit.
Steven Suptic himself, the rat king. Commanding officer of Counter Intelligence. Led SP7 of course and did a lot of dangerous bullshit with them like undercover missions. In most worlds I just kill them off but sometimes they’re just on a break.
DK just exists. His role has never really changed beyond electricians basically the officer of technology, though he is usually the reason Steve ends up on the Skeld in any sort of world.
Dumbdog, as he is kinda my main streamer, has the most lore intensive stuff but we can break it down into mostly roles. Tracker in the NLSS, briefly worked alongside 5up on xQcs ship, was a second in commander for Chilled, before being a crewmate on the Skeld. He then was second for a while, then a commander in training, and now commander.
Now we have Janet and Kimi. I’m grouping them together because there isn’t a whole lot for them considering that they’ve both only really worked as medics on the Skeld for Hafu and now under Dumbdog.
Koji honestly worked under Wolfabelle on her ship for a while before transferring to the Skeld under Hafu to do reactors and such for her. Again, not a whole lot because he’s not usually a main character.
Scott is a bit more complicated but I imagine he’s kinda between the Minecraft realm(or ship in some cases) and while he can play second in command he usually doesn’t unless he has to.
Ovilee, nobody really knows where she came from or what she does, but she’s there and she ain’t going to be leaving anytime soon.
Aipha is also a little more lore intensive depending on the world. He’s usually either a juggernaut, comes from a deceased crew who were all killed by imposters or other things. Or more recently comes from the world of Valorant, because Steve may be obsessed with the game but Aipha is still better. He’s also usually a cadet because he’s the youngest and why wouldn’t I belittle him because of that?
Gumi and Baycon are a rigging and defusing duo for some reason. I think that came from my friend actually. But they work on the Skeld, come and go as they need to.
Junk is the commanding officer of special operations so he deals with break ins and whatever like that. Kinda go in, extractions, all of that stuff. He has Skadj, Court and Kara as his kids and all of that normal stuff.
Speaking of Junks adopted children, let’s do a quick thing on them.
Court is the oldest, obviously, and has always been a daddy’s girl. She’s definitely Junks favorite no matter what he may claim.
Kara is the youngest and never really cared one way or another which parent she was hanging out with. She’s working on maybe one day becoming a commander but I haven’t done anything with that yet.
Skadj is the issue. He’s a little ball of anger because he was a mammas boy and she died because of being in space when he was younger. But he’s loud and we love him for that.
Antfrost is 5ups second in command and moved to the Skeld after their first successful thing on their ship. 5up and Ant work on rehabilitating criminals and then those new cadets move to other ships.
You’ll never believe this but Swifyz and Whyin were definitely on that ship. I started this is a joke with my friend but I think it’s hilarious if Swifyz is like a mass murderer and Whyin…who knows with him. I haven’t figured out that much yet.
Anyway, that’s all I got. This was a lot longer than I meant to to be but oh well.
Ok, let’s talk rooms on the Skeld as I’m working on that for a fic. Because that’s what I do. Thoughts?
Steve, DK and Hafu all share a room. Because I can honestly not imagine dumb and dumber wouldn’t and that Hafu would mind at all listening to those two bickering at night. The are directly across from Apollos room.
Apollo and Aipha 100% have their own rooms. Mostly because Dumbdog likes his space and nobody wants to handle Aipha 24/7. He’s a bit too hyperactive for anybody. Aipha is at the end of the hallway.
5up switches from rooming with Hafu(hence why she ends up in Steve and DKs room) and he rooms with Antfrost, because man he wants his best friend with him.
Swifyz and Whyin have kinda been lumped into one person in my mind so of course I’m putting them into a room together. I could see them vibing and also being right across the hall from 5up/antfrost while also being right next to Janet’s room.
Speaking of our lovely blue crewmate she totally rooms with Kimi and Ovilee. Ovilee used to room with Scott but switched because girl power(and she was ditched).
Scott ditched Ovilee to move into Kojis room so he wasn’t alone. Those two definitely just vibe together and love each others company so much. Ovilee also definitely spends time in there when she wants too.
Baycon and Gumi, 100%. No reason needed. They’re totally across from Scott and Koji’s room too.
Finally you have Junkyard, Courtilly, Kara, and Skadj. Those four got shoved into a bunkhouse together and won’t be freed. Ever. Simply because they play in both lobbies and travel between the chaos crew and Skeld.
Extra: Skadj also totally hangs out in Dumbdogs room as much as possible meanwhile Kara hangs out in the girls room when she can because she’s a girls girl.
So I had a bad day at work, which for whatever reason kicked off this retail AU idea that once I post here will probably never be touched again. I don’t think I forgot anyone, let me know your thoughts. Here it is:
Hafu is obviously the manager, she does the scheduling and is basically the one in charge.
5up and Apollo are definitely the assistant managers, and of course they are always fighting over how things should work. 5up has been at the store longer but Apollo has worked with Hafu longer at a previous location.
Steve and DK are, for some god forsaken reason, key holders. They have the ability to open and close the store and whatever. Hafus thought process there was uh…maybe not the best.
Skadj is the head stock guy who did majority of the receiving. He’s not allowed on the floor due to the one time he practically cursed out a customer. In his defense they were really dumb. And messed with Kara.
Kara is the head cashier because she never wanted to move past that. She enjoys being able to tell others what to do and make sure that things are actually running smoothly. (Hint: they never are)
Janet, Kimi, Gumi, and Swifyz are the full time cashiers who are always there. Seriously, always. They like customers and customers love them so there’s no point in changing it.
Aipha is also a cashier but he’s like the high schooler who’s only there because he needed a job to fund his Lego obsession. He never actually bothers to leave once he’s out of high school either.
Baycon and Antfrost are stockmen who take orders from Skadj. Thats not to say they don’t try to overthrow him or argue with him but yeah, they get the stock out when they’re there.
Ovilee, Scott and Court are 3/4 of the sales people on the floor. They help get stuff up and keep the shelves neat. Ovilee is more aggressive, Court is great and finding things, and Scott is a great middle ground.
The fourth and final sales person is simply Junkyard, who’s been there for way too long and nobody really argues with him. They’re pretty sure when he dies he’s going to haunt the building, but he’s practically everyone’s dad(or grandfather).