#over sharing

I keep discovering the same questions still lodged inside me. I turn each one over for a long time… only to watch them dissolve the moment a fresh crisis arrives. Still, I’m going to try-slowly, obstinately-to answer them.

This particular question has been living rent-free in my head for years. And because so many men keep asking me variations of the same things, I decided to write one honest piece that might answer several of them at once.

My existence was radiant. Truly. Yet every time a man tried to step into it, that radiance collapsed into something dark, airless, and utterly without exit. When you are a vivid, noticeable woman, you often draw the ones who possess none of that vividness themselves. They want to crush and drag through the mud whatever light you carry, because only then do they feel safe. They will never grasp what you’ve survived, what you’re worth, what you are capable of, or what makes you singular. To most of them you will remain something incomprehensible-and the urge to reduce the incomprehensible into something they can control (dirt, mediocrity, nothing) is almost irresistible. They will invent methods more elaborate than you can imagine to achieve it.

I’m still astonished that an entire life can be spent on something so barren. But when a person is hollow inside, or full of rot, that is simply how they move through the world and through other people.

I have always been filled with love and a stubborn belief in the luminous, which is why I so often failed to notice the ugly things. Again and again I trusted what looked promising. And the hardest lesson I learned is this: no matter how generous or radiant you are, people like that are rare, and when something goes wrong, almost no one is truly able to help you.

This is a deeper subject than it first appears.

I’m glad to touch it here. Maybe someone else with a fine, delicate soul needs to read these words right now and understand something.

Living as a striking woman-it still feels strange to write that, haha. I never really saw myself that way. But since I somehow create a stir simply by existing in a room, perhaps I’m allowed to speak about it. Being genuinely striking is like carrying an enormous, publicly known fortune. Everyone reacts differently, and you can imagine how many opportunists appear. They will insist, “I’m the same, my wealth is just… elsewhere right now, but it’s real, I swear.” You feel that something is off, yet by then it’s already too late.

In my case I was too alone to have any real backup. I thought I could carry the heavy path by myself. Without support, it proved impossible. I collected a great many useless, idiotic lessons-lessons no one else will ever need, because the combination of circumstances that produced them was rare. And still.

Be careful with the people around you. Destructive people rarely strike you the moment they see you. They seep under your skin gradually, using your most luminous qualities against you, creating the exact sense of safety that keeps you from recognizing the danger until it is far too late.

I no longer recognize myself-neither the body nor, especially, the mind.

Remember what is actually at stake: everything.

Nothing truly belongs to you except yourself.

And no one else’s interest in your life will ever equal your own.

I watch people come to me (and to others) ready to hand over their entire existence, to shift the responsibility. Trust me-you will never like the result.

P.s.

Guys, I know, beauty is a very delicate topic. I'll make another post about it later. I’m not particularly drawn to conventional beauty standards or anything of the sort. I don’t believe a woman’s essence lies in simply being beautiful, nor do I subscribe to the other shallow stereotypes surrounding women or beauty in general.

As soon as I come back to myself, I’d like to share some thoughts with you - and I genuinely look forward to your response, if this (or any other) topic resonates with you at all.

Feel free to suggest more subjects in my asks or DMs🤍

I've seen a few people listing things they would like to see in the Sims 4 in 2025, and I thought it would be fun to do one of my own.

1. NPC Control - I want an option to turn off random sims from spawning in my game. I already have over 200 made over townies waiting in the homeless section, just waiting to be used. Along side this, I'd also like an option to assign townies of my choosing for NPC job roles. I don't want to see premade sims tending bars and stalls. It ruins the immersion and lore of said premades to see them like this.

2. CAS content specifically for infants - I’m going to need at least 20 new hairstyles. The lack of options right now is just not good. And when I say new hairstyles, I mean new age appropriate hairstyles. No lazy adult conversions that will look completely ridiculous on them.

3. Occult Overhaul for Aliens, Mermaids and Plant Sims - I'm of the belief that all occults should be treated fairly. Aliens, Mermaids and PlantSims deserve to have skill trees and be as good as the other occult life states gameplay wise...

Aliens - I'd like to see a whole pack revolving around them, obviously I want the above mentioned skill tree included. I would also like them to receive an appearance link option in CAS for quick easy appearance sharing between human/alien appearance, and, I want Sixam to be remade into a fully functional livable world. Mermaids - For Mermaids, I'd like them to have a skill tree, plus underwater exploration that isn't a rabbit hole. I'm sure this can somehow be achieved, even with the limitations of the Sims 4. PlantSims - Skill tree, permanent life state, and all the fun gameplay that PlantSims are known for in the previous Sims games. I've never played with PlantSims. However, I want to, but not as they are currently in The Sims 4. 

4. More Animations - Lots of them...

Social animations - More toned down animations that don't involve sims contorting their bodies in weird positions and waving their arms around constantly. I get sick of seeing them repeat the same animations while conversing with other sims. Repairing animations - More unique animations for repairing different items. The use of the electrical circuit board is so overused and doesn't even make sense for many of the repairs. General animations - More variation is always welcome.

5. Snow Depth - I still want it.

6. More Pet Types - Anybody that follows me knows I love animals.

7. A Hobby Pack - I want many more interesting and fun things for sims to do in their free time. Alongside this, I want a hobby discovery system where sims can discover through gameplay what their hobby interests will be. I currently use @missy-hissy's hobby mod for this. However, I always think it's better to need less mods for the game.