#outofpopcorn

Scions: *mysterious and shit*

WoL: Yo, who the fuck are you?

WoL: *has an Echo flashback*

WoL: Yo, what the fuck was that?

Ifrit: *appears*

WoL: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

Titan: -DAT ARC-

WoL: WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!

Garuda: -her turn-

WoL: Look, I have a lot of pent up aggression from these douches in Ishgard (except for Haurchefaunt because bae

Ultima Weapon: *does shit*

WoL: HOLY SHIT, AND YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT THAT THING?! NOPE, FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT-

-several quests and achievements later-

Paladin: Goring Blade? Royal Authority? Total Eclipse? Holy Spirit? Cooldowns that aren't Hallowed Ground? *deletes all of them off the bar* I only need my Rage of Halone.

Warrior: What? I'm no pussy like Paladin! I'MMA PULL EVERYTHING! ... Cooldowns? I JUST SAID I'M NO FUCKING PUSSY!

Dark Knight: Darkside? BUT THAT DRAINS MY MP!

Monk: AoE? I don't have any.

Samurai: BUT MY MADARE! BUT MY MADAREEEEEE!

Dragoon: I'm not gonna even try. There's no way I'm getting my full damage anyway.

Ninja: The only Ninjitsu that exists is Doton.

Bard: I'm still not going to give you TP/MP, even though it's now a cooldown that even reduces my enmity.

Machinist: -places Wildfire- -goes nuts- -rips hate-

Black Mage: Diversion? Pfft- TRIPLE FLARE BABY!

Summoner: *cries in Bane*

Red Mage: OH NO, THE TANK DROPPED BELOW 80% *spams Vercure*

White Mage: Heal bot mode active. MP critical. Demanding MP from Bard/Machinist. Lucid Dreaming and Assize N/A

Scholar: Man, this Eos. *Eos is on Sic* I just can't do anything with her.

PLD: Holy shit, non-Flash or oGCD AoE (that doesn't generate hate, wtf). SHIELD OATH AT 30, HALLELUJAH! ... Wait, I can cast Holy? I HAVE MY OWN FELL CLEAVES?! WHAT IS THIS MADNESS, THEY LISTENED?!

WAR: Oh, yeah, triple Fell Cleaves- ... WAit, what, QUINTUPLE FELL CLEAVES?! HOLY SHIT, I'M WET!

DRK: ... Eh, not as fancy, but, still, good shit.

MNK: Hey, look, team synergy! ... Wait, where'd my personal dps go?

NIN: Oooooh shit, I get MY OWN LEYLINES! EEEEE

DRG: "Left Eye" "Right eye" "Gaze of the First Brood" ... wtf, I thought we killed Nidhogg?

BRD: HOLY SHIT, NO MORE CAST TIMES!

MCH: FLAMETHROOOOOOOWER! (Also, I can Swiftsong now, lol)

BLM: Oh, thank god, Enochian is just tied to the Astral Fire/Umbral Ice timer now. And, wait, OH SHIT, THUNDER II AoE, YOOOOOO

SMN: On one hand, RIP my AoE DPS. On the other, FUCKING BAHAMUT.

WHM: Just... put these useless liles on my grave. To the SCH and AST, I leave my skills.

SCH: ... RIP my AoE DPS, too. Buuuuut, I get my own Battle Litany. So... *shrugs*

AST: No, SE, I wanted Noct to better mesh with my kit. I didn't WANT another flat buff! I mean, everything else is great and all, but, come on, I was already borderline broken.

SAM: So, uh, Monk, about your personal DPS...

I HATE THAT SO MUCH.

I hate being at the mercy of the villain just for the villain to be like, “lol, nah, i don’t feel like it right now.” Like, GIVE THEM AN EXCUSE. Sure, Ghirahim in Skyward Sword does the same thing, but he also says that he’s trying to chase down Zelda. Like, if there was a reason other than, “I don’t feel like it”, like if Y’shtola tried to cut in before the battle ending blow (and not during the cutscene), and then the entirety of the Eorzean alliance was converging on their location, more than Zenos could bare, then, fine, the sparing would make sense. HELL, even have his father or Yotsuyu call him away to Doma to quell some civil unrest or terrify new recruits to give us another reason to be there and then have the “Divide and conquer” plan come about as a plan of opportunity would have been so much better! Just... ANYTHING more than, “jk, lol”

I mean, I can understand why they want to make sure we hate the Empire as they are supposed to be our enemies, but one dimensional villains is not the way to do it. Yes, Gaius and Regula are our enemies, but they have morals and motivations and ideas! We should sympathize with them and agree on their ideas but disagree on their methods. Gaius makes excellent points about praying to false gods. Regula realizes that there’s bigger threats out there and fighting the guy who can take care of them is a bad idea. Sure, the Empire’s current plan is to make their own “guy” to take care of them, but their first successful subject was fucking insane BEFORE the experiment. And, let’s be real, this is all probably playing into the Ascians’ hands.

And, to be frank, Zenos isn’t that pretty.

Preface: No inclusions of characters that were already playable in Dissidia 012 as there's a very good chance they'll come back (slightly worried about Laguna, but we need more daddy/son bonding time)

FFI: Princess Sarah. I don't think sticking in one of the six playable jobs would really fit since The Warrior of Light is supposed to be all of the playable characters at once (who knows how, but there ya go). Alternatively, Chaos could be bumped up to playable here as well.

FFII: Minwu. Shoot things and blow himself up. Good times.

FFIII: Xande. Again, similar situation with WoLly, throwing in another Job that appeared in III would be weird. I don't think Cid would work (I mean specifically III's Cid if that wasn't obvious. I only mention this since Cid is used in Theatrythm), but a strong case can be made for Xande. He can probably pull attacks from his FFXIV incarnation as well.

FFIV: Rosa or Zemus. Rosa could draw more heavily on her archer aspects, but I don't think that would capture her character very well. Zemus could draw upon the power of his four fiends and his powered up form like Garland does.

FFV: Faris or Galuf. Faris is more popular, but I, personally, have a stronger emotional connection to Galuf. They would probably play similarly to Bartz, but they would draw on different Jobs than him.

FFVI: Celes or Leo. Strong cases could be made for either (though I'm not familiar enough with FFVI to picture how they'd fight. Maybe they'd be a physical version of Terra - as in, they pause between attacks to passively build up a charge to use on their next attack)

FFVII: Aerith. Hey, she wasn't technically playable in Dissidia 012, so she counts. She'd probably be team support heavy, and I think she could really work in that regard.

FFVIII: Rinoa. HP attacks are her Angelo Limits. EX Skill is Angel Feather - I mean, it practically writes itself.

FFIX: Garnet "Dagger" or Vivi. I think either would do really well, though I think Vivi would more easily lend himself to a fighting game than Garnet, ironically. Vivi could be the "caster" version of Cloud (as in, he charges up his attacks to launch them [Terra has to stop attacking to charge]).

FFX: Auron. I mean, it's kinda obvious - popular character, samurai based attacks... There's not much to say here.

FFXI: (I don't know enough about this game FFFFFF-) I guess one of the villains? Shadow Lord? Eald'narche? *shrugs shoulders*

FFXII: LARSAAAA *thrown off of cliff* Okay, fine. Vayne. HP attacks are Bahamut attacks, EX Skill is the Bahamut firing on the stage. S'all good. Then there's also Ashe (you know, THE REAL HERO OF THE STORY) and Balthier (the self-proclaimed hero of the story).

FFXIII: Snow or Hope. I think Snow would lend himself better as a fighter since Snow has Commando and Ravager as two of his default roles (the third being Sentinel, a tank), while Hope only has Ravager as one of his default roles (the other two being Medic, a healer, and Synergist, a team buffer). However, Hope could be interesting as no other character uses a boomerang as a weapon. And, like Lighting, both would probably use their personal summons' attacks as their HP attacks.

FFXIV: HOLY SHIT, I WANT A SUMMONER ALPHINAUD LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. Unfortunately, I think he would have been more likely if we were still in the Heavensward timeframe since, although this is a fighting game, is does also act like an advertisement, meaning someone who's Stormblood related would likely have more of a shot. That means it would probably be Lyse (because more fanservice) or Zenos (because he's on the box BUT BY GOD HE'S SUCH A BORING VILLAIN UUUUUGH). Besides Alphinaud being an outside shot, I think Estini-hogg could be super interesting. Also, RED MAGE ALISAE WAT UUUUUUUUP!!

FFXV: (Again, I don't know enough about this game fuck meeeee) I mean, I guess Noctus and Ardyn?