Well. Its unfortunate, but I guess I'm seriously considering it. 

Why?

Well... I already did state my insecurities of not doing an accurate enough portrayal of Grimdark Jake, so there's that aspect kinda playing into it.

However, another thing I would also like to state is probably... the fact that I am realizing that it's getting harder and harder to get up any sort of interactions between my Jake and other muses.

I don't know. I don't know if perhaps that's just a misperception of mine, but I just really feel like hardly anyone wants to interact with my muse. Whether that be out of being intimidated by me which... there is honestly no reason to be, or out of just not wanting to interact... I don't know.

Like... if I'm really intimidating simply by formatting replies, then I don't really know what to say. Honestly, the only reason in which I do such a thing is cause that's just me. I like decorative shit. I always have, and the minute I know how to do such a thing, I will do it. It's not out of trying to "look better" like that misperception that seems to go around the rp community. No. If anything, it's cause I like decorative shit. Sounds like a 5 year old response pffbt- but anyway I'm getting off topic so back to what I was saying.

I don't understand. I don't know how I'm 'intimidating' if that's the case, and if anything i actually feel its the opposite. That I'm not intimidating, that instead its just that I suck in general as an rper and people just "why would we rp with her" I guess? Yeah. 

But like-

I used to have so much interaction here on this blog, and that made me happy. I mostly use rp as an escape from depression in a sense and it has helped before. So yeah. I just. This blog used to be so much more active, have so many more ic interactions that i actually could keep up with, shit like that.

But now-

I dunno I just. Really miss back when I used to have a lot of interactions, cause now its like- Its real hard to get up interactions. I don't know if its cause people don't like my jake or what as I stated above, or anything else? And its really bumming me out a lot. I won't deny the fact that I do get interactions still but... its just I guess not as motivating anymore with how its only a few.

Its also in my part me suddenly being incapable of keeping up with rps in a sense- cause the lack of interactions makes me lose muse for rping and, thus, I end up either easily dropping threads on accident or maybe even replying late and shit like that and just.

Its stressing being incapable of keeping up with rps. I hate it so much. 

I don't know...

I just...

I'm really bummed out over this-

Perhaps I should stop my rambling...

I also feel maybe people don't want me rambling as much OoCly so if that's all I need then I can assure you there will hardly ever be OoC shit from me unless its important updates or commentary on an rp or maybe answering an ask directed to mun. 

Anyway... 

...I just... 

I dunno.

But lately I feel like its highly likely that I do it.