#out of sync

Your grip on the gun is firm as you shoot at the target in front of you. Maybe going to a shooting range to blow off steam makes you seem like a crazy bitch, but it’s the only thing that works for you now.

You won’t allow yourself to drink, you can’t risk turning into your mother…

Some friends have recommended "therapy", but you’re not paying someone to listen to your problems. Who does something like that?!

With each thought that forms in your mind, the target gets a new bullet hole. Again and again…until eventually you’re out of bullets.

"Damn…" You sigh, glancing at your empty gun, you place it down on the counter in front of you. Do most people empty their guns at shooting ranges? Is that normal? Can you just…ask for a refill?

"Man, I’d hate to be whoever pissed you off."

The man at the counter beside you finally speaks up. He was there before you arrived, and he hasn’t left yet. Now that you think about it, he hasn’t been shooting either…

"So, you finally speak. I was wondering if you were just gonna keep watching me the whole time." You say, removing the earmuffs. The man chuckles, "Oh, you noticed? Sorry. I don’t usually stare at pretty ladies are the shooting range, but that’s because I never see pretty ladies at the shooting range." He says. "Cute. You must’ve been working on that the whole time." You snort, you look the man up and down. "What’s next? You’re gonna ask if I’m here with my boyfriend?" You ask.

The man laughs, "Let me guess, you’d very strongly tell me that you don’t have a boyfriend, and that you don’t need one to come here?" He asks. "Yeah, that sounds like me." You snicker, the two of you share a laugh. There’s a few seconds of quiet as the man looks over you. His expression is tense. "And…what would you say if I asked you to come with me to the cafe next door…?" He asks.

You take a moment to think it over, studying the guy. He seems harmless, and his has the amazing ability to match your sense of humor. Maybe this is the universe finally sending you a win—even if it’s a small date...

…

"What happened after, Mama?"

Beth tilts her head back to look at you curiously. You spot Rick in the corner of your eye, he leans against the wall, listening and not making his presence known. You smile knowingly, holding back a laugh. "He tricked and stole an important organ." You state, Beth gasps, "Really?!" She asks. You hear Rick approach, he lightly hits your head with one of the throw pillows. "Not true." He scoffs, "Daddy! You’re home!" Beth says, she hops onto her feet and runs over to him.

You smile softly at the sight of Beth latching onto Rick, he chuckles and bends down to hug her properly. "Hi, sweetie. Ignore your mom’s slander. I never stole any organs." He states. "You did, though." You say, Rick raises one side of his unimpressed unibrow, waiting for you to continue. You blow a kiss his way, "You stole my heart~" You whisper. Rick’s expression softens, he chuckles under his breath. "You’re so cheesy." He says, you shrug as you stand up.

"It’s ’cause of the baby in her belly."

You stiffen, both your and Rick’s attention snaps to Beth, "Right, Mama? That’s why?" She asks. Rick looks at you with a surprised expression, "…Beth, how’d you even hear about that…?" You ask, she smiles, "I heard you talking to Auntie Ariel about it!" She tells you, "Right. Of course you did." You chuckle weakly. "Wait, a baby? N/N, you’re pregnant?" Rick asks, your attention shifts to him.

"I was going to wait for dinner to tell you guys, but yeah. I’m pregnant. Surprise." You say, Rick stands up and rushes over to you. "Beth, sweetie, cover your ears." Rick says, "Ok." Beth says, she places her hands over her ears, but continues to watch the two of you. "Holy shit, Baby! That’s amazing!" Rick says, he wraps his arms around you.

"I heard you, Daddy!" Beth giggles mischievously, "No, you did not." Rick teases playfully. You chuckle at them both, "Is the baby gonna be a boy or a girl?" Beth asks, "We don’t know wait, sweetie. We gotta wait and see." Rick tells her, Beth deflates, poking her lower lip out. "Ew, but waiting is boring. Mama, can’t you tell what’s in there?" Beth whines. You and Rick watch Beth affectionately, "I wish I could Beth, but the baby’s too small for anyone to tell." You state.

Beth groans, but her sulking doesn’t last long as a thought pops into her mind. "Hey, wait…how’d Mama even get a baby in her belly?" She asks. You pause before wiggling out of Rick’s arms. "I should get a start on dinner, but Daddy will explain everything to you the best he can. He’s smarter than I am." You say, running to the kitchen. Beth lets out squeal-ish laughter while Rick shouts at you, "Traitor!"

…

"—And then, I squished it under my shoe and heard it crunch!" Beth recalls excitedly, Rick glances up from the crib his was putting together, "…Did you now?" He asks. "Uh huh!" Beth says, there’s little to no shame on her voice, even as she continues, "I saw Cody outside, too. It’s too bad he didn’t see me." She sighs. "Oh? And why’s that?" Rick asks, Beth giggles, "Because he didn’t see the rock I threw at him!" She says.

Rick watches Beth carefully, “You’re…excited about having a little sibling, right?” He asks, Beth beams, “Yeah! Of course I am! I get to have a best friend all the time! Even when you and Mama are busy.” She says happily. Rick lets out a quiet breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

Beth perks up at the sound of the front door opening, “Mama’s back!” She says, launching out of the room. Rick watches her leave with a tired chuckle, “I hope Baby Number 2 is a little more…empathetic to others…” He mutters to himself.

…

You press a kiss on Beth’s forehead, gently pulling the blankets over her. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” You say, “Goodnight, Mama.” Beth yawns, you turn off the lamp. Rick shuffles behind you, turning on the nightlight he specifically made for Beth, “Oh, wait, Daddy. I don’t want the nightlight tonight.” Beth says, she sits up. Rick pauses, he tilts his head in confusion, “You don’t? You’re gonna be ok sleeping in the dark…?” He asks, frowning in concern.

Beth pouts with an unsure expression, “I dunno…but Veronica says that only babies sleep with nightlights. And I’m not a baby!” She huffs. You and Rick share a look, “Oh, please, Veronica doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” You say, “Yeah. You think this is the only nightlight I’ve made. Even your mother has one.” Rick states.

“You do?” Beth asks, looking at you, you shrug, “Yep, maybe you l got that fear of the dark from me.” You tell her. “Can fear be…in…inherited?” Beth asks, Rick drapes an arm around your shoulder, “That’s good question, Beth, but it’s getting late and you have school in the morning,” He says, Rick gently guides you towards the door, “I promise we’ll have an answer for you in the morning.” “Promise?” Beth asks. Rick nods, clicking on Beth’s nightlight, “Promise.” He reaffirms. “…Ok. Goodnight, Mama. Goodnight, Daddy.” Beth says, she snuggles into her blankets, closing her eyes.

Rick shuts the door behind the two of you. Rick doesn’t let you break free from him, not yet, he gently guides you towards your bedroom. “This is the 5th time Beth’s said something about this Veronica kid. I wish I could talk to the teacher about it, but I’m pretty sure Beth is overhearing everything she’s talking about. Beth’s made it pretty clear the other kids don’t actually talk directly to her…” You sigh. “I think we really need to work on Beth’s…quirks.” Rick tells you quietly, the two of you reach your shared bedroom, "I don't think there's much we can do to 'fix' them at this point." You confess quietly.

"...I guess, I just feel guilty sending her to Froopy Land all the time." Rick states, you flop onto the bed, an exhausted sigh leaving you. “Beth’s taken me to Froopy Land before. I’d live there.” You say with a shrug, rolling onto your back. Rick chuckles, “Glad to know you appreciate my work.” He says, “Oh, definitely. You should make us our own secret little world.” You suggest. “Yeah? You would like that, wouldn’t you? You’d get to have me all to yourself.” Rick teases, he lays down beside you.

You snicker, “Of course. I could spend all my time with you and never have to worry about work or bills? Sounds like a dream.” You snickers shift into a yawn, “Are you sleeping with me? Or are you the car’s sleep buddy tonight?” You ask, Rick sighs softly. “I’d love to sleep in a bed with you tonight, but I’m so close to figuring out portal travel…” He says, you gently pat his cheek. “If anyone can do it, it’s you.” You say, Rick leans into your touch. “You really think I can do it?” He asks.

“Definitely. And when you finally figure it out, we’ll never have to worry about traveling by car again.” You say, Rick laughs, “We’ll be the coolest family in the neighborhood.” He chuckles. “We’re already the coolest family in the neighborhood. I’ve got the hottest husband, and you’ve got the sexiest wife.” You snicker, Rick watches you as your eyelids become lower and lower.

It doesn’t take much for you to fall asleep. Rick’s not surprised, between your job, raising Beth, and now your pregnancy…you’ve been exhausted. You’ve been so patient with him, too. You haven’t complain about him spending so much time in the garage—his lab. You truly believe he’s capable of making something great. He lets out a quiet sigh, placing a gentle kiss on top of your forehead. “I’ll make it worth it, baby. You’ll never have to worry about anything again…” He promises in a hushed voice. Rick pushes himself out of bed and quietly leaves the bedroom.

…

You take a look around the nursery, a warm smile resting on your face. It’s really starting to come together. You still don’t know the baby’s gender, but you don’t want to know. Not yet, not until the baby’s born. You did the same thing when you were pregnant with Beth.

You can hear noises in the garage. You’re always hearing the sound of Rick’s tinkering in the garage when you’re in the nursery, they’re right next door. This time, though, you hear something different than the usual explosions. You actually hear something powering up before you hear a sound you’ve never heard before.

A smile forms on your face, “…I knew you could do it.” You say under your breath. You stand up and leave the nursery, walking to the garage door. You slowly open it, Rick smiles softly when he sees you, “Rick? I heard sci-fi noises, and I didn’t immediately start smelling smoke. Did you make a breakthrough?” You ask, smiling at him excitedly. Rick walks up to you, he intertwines his hands with yours, “Sort of,” He says, gently squeezing your hands before he lets go, “I just took a long look at myself, and…I don’t think this science thing is gonna pay off.”

You tilt your head in concern as he shrugs off his lab coat, “Are you…ok with that? I know how much you want to be a scientists.” You say, Rick chuckles and presses his forehead against yours, “I want to be your husband more.” He states. His words pull a soft smile out of you. You don’t know what’s making him so soft and sentimental, but you’re not going to question him and his choices.

“How about I go get Beth and we can go out for ice cream?” You offer, Rick takes your hands once more, he grins, “That, Y/N, is that last great idea that will be ever had in this garage. I’ll start up the car.” He states, you press a gentle kiss to his lips before heading back inside the house. “Beth!” You call out, “I’m right here, Mama.” She says, shuffling off the couch.

You smile at her, “Come on, sweetie. We’re heading out for ice cream.” You say, Beth’s eyes light up excitedly, “We are?!” She asks, you take her hand, “Yep. You know what flavor you want?” You chuckle, “So many. I want 15 flavors!” Beth tells you. “15?! I don’t know if they’ll even have that many flavors.” You gasp playfully, Beth giggles. You hear the car honk, the sound muffle by the walls, “Come on, girls! The ice cream’s gonna melt!” Rick calls out playfully.

Beth gasps and tugs you towards the garage door, “Come on, Mama! We gotta hurry!” She says, you laugh, “I’m coming. I’m coming. Don’t forget I’m talking for two…” You joke, you and Beth walk into the garage, you make sure to shut the door behind you. Beth waves at Rick excitedly, he chuckles and waves back.

You hear the sci-fi sound you heard before and there’s suddenly a green glow behind you. Both you and Beth turn around in surprise. “Mama, what’s that?” Beth asks, Rick’s eyes narrow in confusion. “…I think it’s one of the portals your father’s been working on…” You mumble with an unsure expression. A round device drops out of the portal. It beeps quickly, its lights flashing wildly. Your eyes widen in realization. You try to grab Beth, to protect her—to do anything, but it’s already too late.

You don’t feel any pain. You can only hope Beth didn’t either…

The force of the explosion is of the to flip the car upside down, Rick is thrown out of the car. It takes him a few seconds to process, his eyes widen in realization as he stares at the fiery garage, “NOOOOOOO!” He screams in horror.

>._._._._.<

“…Sir…? Sir? Sir, can you understand me?” A paramedic asks, shining a flashlight in Rick’s eyes. Rick doesn’t say anything, staring at the destruction distantly. He tightens his grip on the blanket they had given him.

He didn’t get to say goodbye.

He didn’t even get to say he loved you and Beth…more than anything.

You didn’t scream, your first and only instinct was to protect Beth…

Beth…

She was just a kid. A little kid. Sure, you and Rick joked about how she was “8 years away from college”, but she was a kid! Now, she’s never going to experience high school or middle school or anything.

And what about the baby…the baby that never even had the chance to be born…

Rick breathes, but it feels like he’s swallowing hot water. “He needs stitches. Come on, let’s go.” The paramedic tells the driver, “No…” Rick says lifelessly, the paramedic flinches, “Oh, shit! Man, you scared the hell out of me…I didn’t think you’d speak the whole time.” He says, Rick doesn’t respond to the paramedic, but he does move to stand up, “I’m not going to a hospital. I’m staying here…” He states.

“Wha—but, sir. You’re injured—” “I’m fine. Just…go away.” Rick says firmly, the young paramedic looks back to the older one in the driver’s seat. They share a look before the older one shrugs, “He’s been through enough. Let’s not drag him to a hospital if he doesn’t want to go.” The older paramedic says. The younger paramedic sighs, but shuts the door. The ambulance drives off while Rick limps back to the house.

…

“Man, you’d kill me if you saw this dinner, Y/N…” Rick jokes quietly, no one laughs at his joke. No one teases him. No one even asks for a slice of pizza. Rick takes the cold slice and chew it. He’s not hungry…well, that’s not true, he’s starving, but he doesn’t have the desire to eat. He’s just eating so he doesn’t die…

Rick sighs, “Why shouldn’t I just die? Then I could be with you a-and Beth.” He says bitterly, Rick reaches over the side of his chair, grabbing a new beer, his 7th can. He cracks open the can and takes a long drink, letting out a heavy sigh. “I miss you. I miss you so much.” He confesses to the empty air of the house. “It’s a little funny, when you think about it. I killed you. Not me-me, but a version of me. He just…killed you and Beth. Like it was nothing. Like you were nothing.

Rick tosses his empty can to the side, grabbing another one. “Do…do you think that if he was another version of me…maybe he had a version of you and Beth? I’ve been wondering. I don’t think he did. If he knew you, why would he kill you? To get back at me? I’m not that petty, am I? You would’ve told me if you thought I was petty, right?” He asks, he still gets met with silence.

“…I’ve been hiding something from you.” Rick says, swirling his beer can around, “I know you said you wanted it to be a surprise, but I couldn’t wait. I checked,” He sighs, he brings the can to his lips, “We would’ve had another girl…” Rick takes a long drink from the can until it’s empty. “At least I don’t have to worry about taking down the nursery. The explosion was so bad, it destroy that, too.” He says bitterly.

He’s been feeling that lot more.

Bitterness instead of sadness.

Anger instead of bitterness.

That Rick…that evil version of himself. He only did this because he wanted Rick to leave behind everything and travel across dimension. Rick doesn’t reach for another can, “…I’ll do it.” He affirms.

…

Rick stares at his own reflection. “Man, she wouldn’t even recognize me if she saw me now.” He huffs softly. It’s only been…2 years—he thinks. How could he look so different?

You always said you wanted him to grow his hair out…

Rick brushes a strand of hair out of his face. “Wait…you’d probably think I’m hot.” He assumes, Rick sighs, “Then you’d probably say something like, ‘Oh, I would’ve died sooner if I knew you would’ve got soooo hot!’” He mimics your voice. He can still remember what it sounds like. Clear as day. It’s…haunting.

No you, no Birdperson, no one...

Rick’s all alone.

Rick stares at his reflection once more. He looks so…tired. There’s no light in his eyes. You wouldn’t think he was hot, you’d be too busy worrying about what the hell could’ve happened to make him look like that…like this. Rick lets out a heavy sigh. “Just another year…and then I’ll stop.” He promises…you? Himself? He doesn’t know anymore.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

. . .

Rick takes a long drink of beer. After 40-something years of this shit…he’s switched to drinking out of beer bottles. They give him so much more beer.

Green portals open in front of Rick, more versions of himself step out and each of them meet the same fate the others ones did. Despite how drunk he is, Rick aims perfectly for the other Ricks’ heads. When he first started doing this…he felt a form of satisfaction. Like he was avenging you and Beth.

Now he only feels nothing…

…

He promised himself he wouldn’t do this. Rick doesn’t want to be like those other sick fucks.

Rick sighs deeply, glancing down at all the house as his space cruiser flies above the neighborhood. “I’ve checked. So many dimensions…she’s gone.” He sighs, taking a long drink from his flask.

This is the only one.

This is the only dimension where you’re still alive.

Why? What makes this dimension do special?

Maybe…that Rick—the one who started all this—maybe he cared this version of you, but not all the others…

Rick tilts his steering wheel downwards, crashing right into the garage. The crash destroys the door and good chuck of the garage’s roof, Rick climbs out of the vehicle, unfazed by the destruction around him.

“Jerry, how hard is it to remember to open the fucking door—”

The door that leads into the house open, that’s what gets a reaction out of Rick. His eyes widen when he sees you standing there. Is this what you would’ve looked like if you had the chance to grow older? The sides of Rick’s brow drops sadly, “Hi, Y/N…” He says, just barely lifting his arm to wave. You stare at Rick, horror settling on your face. You don’t share any words with him, you slowly close the door.

Rick continues to stands there…until he hears the sound of your body thudding against the floor. He rushes to the door, but stops himself when he hears voices.

“OH! O-o-oh, geez! Sum…Summer?! Call Mom! Or…or 911!” “Well which one? I can’t call both!” “I don’t know!”