#our boy

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Moment that Rin softened

The first time I heard Robin’s speech I immediately knew something was off. Not only is comparing Mike to Tammy Thompson strange when Mike clearly plays an important and thus entirely different role in Will’s life than Tammy played in Robin’s, but the fact that she wants Will to remember being a free and fearless little kid got me thinking, too. Because when exactly was Will ever a truly free and fearless little kid?

I don’t want to claim that Will never used to be happy, we can see he was and that despite his rough childhood, he did use to be more carefree, open and expressive. Robin’s speech helped Will to remember and to fully love and embrace who he is, and that’s beautiful. It’s incredibly powerful to see the two of them bond over their queerness and that Will finally gets advice from someone who understands him when it comes to matters of sexuality. However, there are things that Robin says that don’t seem to fully apply to Will. While Robin had the childhood freedom of obliviousness to her queerness, Will didn’t. Robin advises Will to reclaim that freedom from before he knew he was gay and scared of his feelings, and live as himself fearlessly and unashamedly, just like he used to, but Will was assumed to be gay and bullied on the basis of that assumption long before he himself figured out his sexual orientation. And even his memory of building castle Byers with Jonathan is tied to Lonnie (who’s homophobic and abusive) leaving the family. Robin furthermore mentions not being able to recognize her little self which also doesn’t seem to fully apply to Will. In some respects it really does (e.g: distancing himself from people), but with a more general focus on character, it just doesn’t apply to him because his character undergoes no drastic changes in behaviour throughout the seasons. Even with minor changes in his behaviour, Will stays recognisable from s1 to s5, always doing things that are in line with his initial characterization (apart from when he’s possessed).

We all know a character this can’t be said for, though, and that’s when it hit me:

If you think of Robin’s speech as something that can only be taken at surface level, that this is just a moment between her and Will and can’t have any further implications for other characters, then sure, the Tammy-comparison kinda doesn’t make sense because Mike isn’t like Tammy. But if you break that surface and dig a little deeper, you will inevitably uncover the similarities in experience (and formulation) Robin (and her speech) shares with Mike (and his speech), and what you’ll most likely conclude is that while Mike might not be Tammy to Will, El might be Tammy to Mike.

As I attempt to dissect Robin’s speech I want not just to highlight the similarities and differences between her and Mike’s respective speeches, but also how Robin’s speech relates to what we get to see of Mike in the show. Furthermore, one crucial part to keep in mind (which is why I’ll reiterate it so often throughout the analysis) is that we have a fundamental difference at hand between how Robin’s experiences as revealed in her speech relate to herself versus how they relate to Mike. And that is the fact that Robin talks about a queer connection and seeking the key to self acceptance in someone else, while Mike’s situation is about a straight relationship and seeking the key to change oneself in someone else. Yet, there are striking similarities which make this worth diving into, so let’s begin.

Robin: “In the ninth grade, I thought that she sounded like Whitney goddamn Houston”

Robin opens her speech by asking Will if he remembers Tammy Thompson and when he asks her if Tammy isn’t that “terrible singer”, Robin replies by admitting that she used to believe that Tammy sounded like Whitney Houston. Clearly, that was not the case, but Robin was so blinded by her attraction that she put Tammy on a pedestal of greatness. Here we can already draw a connection to how Mike continuously puts El on a pedestal because of her abilities. Tammy used to be a pop-star to Robin like El is a superhero to Mike, but Robin eventually realized that Tammy isn’t all that great, so Mike has to realize (or he has already) that El isn’t either, i.e. that El can’t save him/keep him safe.

Robin: “I mean, the first time I saw her, oh my God, like, time slowed down. It was like a scene from some lame-o movie. You know, her hair blew in the wind, and she just looked perfect. So goddamn perfect. And, uh, it was right then and there that I knew she was the one.”

Mike: “I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big, it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you.”

Starting with the similarities, both of them are talking about love at first sight. Robin talks of knowing Tammy was the one right when she saw her for the first time, while Mike says that immediately when they found El in the woods, he knew he loved her. Tammy clearly wasn’t the one for Robin, though, and that obvious parallel to Mike’s speech might just imply that Mike did not in fact fall in love with El. We already knew that he did not fall in love with her in that exact moment, as that moment is part of the show and we can see that Mike’s initial plan is letting Karen handle sending El back to where she came from (and why lie about when you fell in love with someone?…. unless of course you never actually fell in love with them). And this parallel to Robin’s Tammy-story seems to further support this.

But there are also clear differences in what Robin and Mike are saying, and to be frank, it’s not surprising at all that those differences lie in aspects that have implications for their respective sexualities. Robin says that at first sight she knew Tammy was the one whereas Mike says that at first sight he knew he loved El. In Robin’s experience, Tammy turning out to not have been the one for her doesn’t in any way negate her having had a crush on her, nor her attraction to women in general. Tammy simply wasn’t the right girl, but there is a girl out there for Robin (and that girl is Vickie). However, in Mike’s experience, him turning out to not have fallen in love with El in the way he claimed he has, does negate him having had a crush on her as well as his attraction to women, because Mike’s entire (alleged) attraction to women is brought to us by El. She’s the only girl we see him seem to be interested in which is also prompted by other characters. Mike doesn’t care about Max like his friends do (he actually shows active dislike for her in s2), he doesn’t go and seek out a girl to dance at the Snow Ball like Dustin does, he doesn’t care about girls laughing at them in s4 like Lucas does etc. Outside of his relationship with El there’s nothing that could possibly hint at him actually being attracted to women, while there’s so much subtext hinting at him being attracted to men, so if Mike never actually fell in love with El, then what is there left to support that he’s ever actually been attracted to a woman? Because, as I said earlier, why would Mike have to lie about the moment he fell in love with El if not for the fact that that moment doesn’t exist, i.e. he never actually loved El romantically.

Another difference shows itself in the way they talk about their feelings and impressions while seeing their respective love interests for the first time. Robin recalls feeling as if time slowed down when she first laid eyes on Tammy. Her hair blew in the wind like in some “lame-o movie” and she just looked so “goddamn perfect”. Robin can recall what an impact that instant attraction to Tammy had on her and compares it those cliché movie scenes that depict how attractive a woman is by having her move in slow motion with her hair blowing in the wind. And even with all the fear, stress and anger she’s been through because of her crush on Tammy, you can spot a hint of nostalgic fondness in the way Robin recalls her having looked “perfect”. The way Robin describes that first encounter with Tammy highlights her attraction and desire for her and women by extension.

Mike on the other hand simply recalls El wearing the yellow Benny’s Burgers T-shirt, that was so big “it almost swallowed [her] whole”. There’s no hint of him even being attracted to her like there is in Robin’s recollection of seeing Tammy for the first time. And the inclusion of Benny is so interesting, too, because 1) it distracts from the idea of an intimate moment between just Mike and El, 2) it deflects from what Mike actually felt and thought of El that first time seeing her, and 3) it reopens the can of worms that is the Mike and Benny parallels. But maybe more than any of that, it reminds us of how Benny was shot in the head and El had to flee from Brenner’s people with a blood stained shirt, while Mike, Dustin and Lucas (“that day we found you”) were out in the woods looking for their missing friend in the pouring rain. And that T-shirt was so big on El because she was a child! They were all children. Nobody was falling in love that night (this is not to say that children can’t develop crushes but given the circumstances an what happened afterwards, it is highly unlikely).

Robin: “[…] That with Tammy, I would finally be able to be myself, you know, all of myself. Because there was always this part of me that kind of scared me, you know? But I thought that if Tammy loved me, all of me, you know, I wouldn't be so scared anymore”

Mike: “It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you”

Now, they’re both talking about being scared and needing someone else to make that fear go away. Robin needed Tammy in order to not hate herself for who she is and in a way, Mike needs El for that same exact reason. The difference lies in the way they think their respective love interest would save them from a life of self-hatred. If Tammy only loved Robin, Robin wouldn’t have to be scared of who she is anymore because if perfect Tammy was just like her and loved her, that would make it easier for her to love herself, as opposed to if Mike only loved Eleven, Mike wouldn’t have to be scared of who he is anymore because him loving El romantically is mutually exclusive of the reason Mike would be scared of who he is in the first place. This largely reflects what I think Mike’s season 3 arc is about: Mike forcefully letting go of his childhood because it is inextricably linked to his feelings for Will, in order to try and make himself fall in love with El. The tie this has to his monologue in s4 is that his inability to tell El that he loves her was present in s3 already. And even now that Mike knows he can’t love El romantically (which is reflected in his unwillingness to tell her that he loves her. Will encourages him to “say to her whatever it is you didn’t say” multiple times throughout the season and Mike continuously hits Will with the “I didn’t know what to say” and “a fight you can’t come back from”. Mike knows he can’t tell El he loves her because he knows it’s not true), he’s still afraid of who he is and of letting himself figure out who he is apart from El (of figuring out how to live without her). Because with El, Mike is save, but if she doesn’t need him anymore, he loses that security and inevitably has to fully face his true self as a result (his s4 arc).

This part of Robin’s speech also has incredibly interesting, implications for another character, and that’s El. Because if Mike only loved Eleven, she wouldn’t have to be scared of who she is anymore, and we can clearly see this in how El reverts back to thinking she’s a monster and confronting Mike about his inability to tell her that he loves her. El finally lets go of that notion during her stay at NINA, though, and luckily so, because it simply isn’t true. And in that exact aspect I think we can draw a connection to how Mike’s arc ends in s3: Mike thinks that if he only loved El, he wouldn’t have to be scared of who he is anymore, but the moment it gets brought up, the moment he gets everything he wanted (“Mike. I love you too”), he realizes that it isn’t working. The same goes for El in s4: she’s been begging for Mike to tell her that he loves her but the moment he does exactly what she wants (“I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero”) El realizes that it doesn’t change anything. So not only does this show that El is Tammy to Mike, but Mike is Tammy to El. They’ve idealized a version of reality where they can save each other but they had to come to realize that, in reality, they simply can’t. Much like in Robin’s Tammy-fantasy.

Robin: “Tammy fell for him hard. And my entire fantasy life with her, along with the rest of my life, pretty much imploded before my eyes. I mean, my grades plummeted, I got grounded. I had to stay home every weekend doing chores.”

This part especially reminded me of Mike more than Will or anyone else, because while we do kind of see Will’s fantasy life with Mike (sitting in the basement playing games for the rest of their lives) implode before him, we never actually get to see this affect his general behaviour very much (at least not in the same way it affected Robin’s). This is, however, exactly what we see Mike go through in the end of s1 and the beginning of s2. In s1, ep.8 Mike clearly maps out his fantasy life with El for us: “See, I was thinking, once all this is over and Will's back and you're not a secret anymore, my parents can get you an actual bed for the basement. Or you can take my room if you want, since I'm down there all the time anyways. My point is, they'll take care of you. They'll be like your new parents, and Nancy, she'll be like your new sister. […] I was thinking... maybe we can go to the Snow Ball together. […] We'll be home soon, and my mom... she'll get you your own bed. You can eat as many Eggos as you want. And we can go to the Snow Ball”, which then implodes in front of his eyes… literally. Mike’s plans with El die with her and that (amongst other things) affects the rest of his life, as Karen reveals to us in s2, ep.1: “If you didn't wanna lose more toys, you shouldn't have stolen from Nancy. […] Oh, and you didn't curse out Mr. Kowalski last week either, right? Or plagiarize that essay? Or graffiti the bathroom stall?”. Mike’s acting out much like Robin did, although there’s still a striking difference between their respective situations. Robin was acting out because her fantasy life of being with Tammy romantically was crushed by Tammy falling in love with Steve which didn’t only result in feelings of jealousy but also self-hatred. Tammy falling in love with someone that’s not Robin, and a man at that, meant that Robin just started hating herself even more for being queer. Whereas Mike’s fantasy life of El living with his family and going to the Snow Ball with him was crushed by El’s death which he mourned. Mike’s survivor’s guilt and ptsd about the events of s1 made him act out the way he did. So in this particular instance, Robin’s situation had everything to do with her sexuality, while Mike’s did not.

However, there is another instance where Mike’s fantasy life with El is shattered that explicitly results in his grades plummeting, and this time it has to do with his sexuality. My timeline of Mike realizing he is gay starts at the Snow Ball where he realizes he has feelings for Will that he then tries to grow out of over the course of s3. He is fully convinced that he can make himself/does love El romantically, yet at the end of the season when she tells him that she loves him and kisses him, Mike snaps out of his denial and realizes he does not and cannot love her that way. That’s when he fully realizes he is gay, and his fantasy of a normal life, of loving a girl romantically, implodes before him. And he is afraid of the inevitable change that comes with this realization, which makes him act out (as well as out of character) again. As his fantasy life with El crashes at the end of s3, so do his grades at the beginning of s4 which we can infer from Ted calling the Hellfire Club the “Highschool drop out club” and Dustin telling Mike that “you still have a C in Spanish”. But even now that this situation, just like Robin’s, is a matter of sexuality, they still differ from each other because of the fundamental difference in what their respective fantasies are/were, i.e. If Tammy only loved Robin vs. If Mike only loved El.

Once again there’s something here for El as well. In s2 El lashes out at Hopper because he keeps lying to her about when she’ll be able to see Mike again, and when she keeps using her powers against Hop, he grounds her. The moment El finally gets the confirmation that her fantasy reunion with Mike won’t happen for certain, she acts out and gets grounded just like Robin did. After this she finds the box of Terry’s documents and embarks on her first journey of self discovery, she’s trying to figure out who she is and who she wants to be, apart from anyone else, just like Robin after finding the 8-millimeter film reel.

Robin: “But then one day, I was cleaning bat shit out of my parents' garage, and I found this 8-millimeter film reel. You know? And it was just from this silly movie that I made in fourth grade, but I got it up on the projector, and all of a sudden, I was looking at this little version of myself.”

What I think is particularly interesting in this part of Robin’s speech is the mention of her parents’ garage. The garage, specifically Mike’s garage, is an emotionally charged place because it is there that Mike tells Will: “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” and within the context of Robin delivering her speech to Will as advice about love and encouragement to embrace his queerness instead of fearing it, this doesn’t seem entirely insignificant. Robin found the 8-millimeter film reel that reminded her of who she is in her garage, and I believe Mike, too, was reminded of who he is in his garage.

The intricacies of the rain fight are a tale as old as time, but let’s go through them again: Will rightfully criticizes how Mike is mistreating his friends. He confronts Mike about not knowing nor caring where Dustin is and tells him that he’s ruining their party by blowing them off for the sole purpose of making out with a girl, which is where Mike hits Will with the “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”. Entirely unprompted. Will calls El stupid, yes, but neither this comment nor his overall behaviour make sense as a prompt to Mike’s reaction, because when Mike tells Will that “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” as a defense against his criticism, Mike implies that his behaviour is entirely justified by the fact that he displays it because he likes girls, and that Will only criticizes him because he doesn’t understand what it’s like to like girls (yet). However, from what we’ve seen in the show, Mike has neither a reason to believe that Will actually doesn’t like girls (yet), nor that that is why he’s criticizing him. Will is curious to find out about Max, he dances with a girl at the Snow Ball, he’s thrilled to get to know Suzy; All of those moments make it seem like Will is interested in girls, and as if Mike would listen to the bullies calling Will gay. Furthermore, Will specifically criticizes how Mike is doing Dustin wrong and has no problem with Lucas having a girlfriend (because although he’s also mad at him for not wanting to play dnd, Lucas isn’t neglecting the party because of Max), so it’s clear that this is neither about Will alone, nor has it do with understanding or not understand what it’s like to like girls, because amongst Mike, Lucas and Dustin - all of whom have girlfriends - Mike is the only one acting off/different/out of character.

Will’s inclusion of Dustin specifically is particularly interesting because “You’re destroying everything and for what? So you can swap spit with some stupid girl?” is - amongst a general assessment of Mike’s behaviour - a direct reference to s3, ep.1 where Mike and El specifically ditch Dustin on his first day back in Hawkins to “swap spit”. This makes it even weirder that Mike responds by attacking Will personally because Will explicitly references how Mike neglects other party members, i.e: this is not a Will-problem, it’s an actual problem that other people (Dustin, Lucas, Hopper) have picked up on (= a Mike-problem). The reference to the first episode furthermore reminds us of the juxtaposition between Dustin excitedly dragging all of his friends up a hill to meet his girlfriend, and Mike running down that same hill, ditching his friends to be alone with his girlfriend. Paired with the fact that Lucas and Max are with Dustin, this really drives home the point that the way Mike acts is in no way shape or form because he likes girls. No one else who likes girls is acting the way he does, Lucas even makes fun of Mike’s obsession with El while Dustin calls his behaviour “bullshit”.

So, the verdict stands that Mike was projecting his own insecurities about not liking girls (yet) onto Will during the rain fight.

If you’ve been wondering why I’m using “(yet)” so much when we’re all aware that Mike and Will simply don’t like girls because they’re gay, it’s because Mike did not have hunch that Will is actually gay in that moment, while he himself was deeply in denial about his feelings for Will, thinking he is/could still make himself fall in love with El (i.e: simply didn’t like girls yet at the end of s2). And this is further supported by him telling Will: “But we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends?” because it not only reveals that Mike genuinely thinks he can grow out of his feelings for Will and into liking girls, but how he feels pressured to have a girlfriend.

To finally come back to how Robin’s speech relates to all of this, when Mike asks Will: “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day playing games for the rest of our lives?” entirely unprompted again, implying that Mike is projecting onto Will again (i.e: this is what Mike wants) and Will responds with: “Yeah, I guess I did. I really did.” Mike looks hurt, like he just realized they really could’ve played games in his basement together forever. And it is what pushes Mike back into embracing his nerdy interests (= he was reminded of who he is).

Robin: “And that little me, I could hardly recognize her. You know, she was so carefree and, like, fearless. She just loved every part of herself.”

Now, in Will’s 8-millimeter film reel we can see Mike and Will playing games in Mike’s basement with both of them looking more at home and carefree when they’re together. Yes, the fact that Mike is in the film reel clearly implies that Will doesn’t need to forget Mike but embrace his love for him, but seeing little Mike look just as happy as little Will does, further implies that Mike has to do the same. We see Mike and Will playing games in Mike’s basement twice in s1, too, and Mike is overall more carefree and fearless in that season, as well as in the entirety of s2, especially with his affection towards Will. It’s second nature to openly show how much he loves Will but this changes at the Snow Ball, when Mike realizes he has romantic feelings for him, which marks the shift in Mike’s behaviour going into s3. This is exactly what I meant when I said that with a more general focus on character, this part of Robin’s speech: “And that little me, I could hardly recognize her” doesn’t apply to Will, because his character undergoes no drastic changes in characterization throughout the seasons. He stays recognizable from s1 to s5, always doing things that are in line with his initial characterization, but Mike, Mike undergoes drastic changes that make his behaviour differ from his initial characterisation.

When we look at s3 and s4 Mike Wheeler…

…who ditched Dustin on his first day back, blew off his friends in general, made fun of Will’s dnd campaign, yelled at him that it’s not his fault he doesn’t like girls, replaced Lucas in the hellfire club, didn’t reach out to Will while they were long distance and ignored and blamed him for the first day of spring break being a disaster -

we can hardly recognize little Mike from s1/2…

…who embraced his love for dnd and other nerdy stuff, said a friend is someone you’d do anything for, disobeyed direct orders from the chief of police to go and look for Will in the woods, got into fights to defend Will against homophobic bullying, yelled that he’s the only one who cares about Will, jumped off a cliff so (amongst other reasons) Dustin wouldn’t get hurt, made sure that all of his friends knew they’re all his best friends, was overprotective of Will and in tune with his feelings, told Will that asking him to be his friend was the best thing he’s ever done.

Which is so obvious and sudden that it’s almost jarring to witness. Mike undergoes two drastic, negative changes/character regressions on the threshold of s2 to s3 and on the threshold of s3 to s4, which just so happen to correspond with him realizing he has feelings for Will (end of s2) and him realizing he’s gay (end of s3), which reflects exactly what Robin is talking about during her talk with Will: figuring out that she’s a lesbian made her less carefree and fearless than she used to be because that newly discovered part of her scared her, which made her act differently. But seeing how unashamed she was of herself in childhood made her realize that she’s still that little girl from the film reel and that there’s no reason to fear or hate herself for being queer, that she deserves that same love she gave to her little self. Robin helped Will have that same revelation, which was absolutely cathartic to see, and now it’s Mike’s turn to stop being scared of who he is.

There is already reason to assume that Mike is on his way to embrace his true self, homosexuality and all, and that is the fact that in some scenes in s4 and so far in s5, we can finally recognize s1/2 Mike again. And this positive shift in character in s5 is very clearly inspired by Will’s painting:

The van scene doesn’t just foreshadow Mike being a leader and inspiring people in s5, it is the exact moment where Mike gets encouraged to tap back into this part of himself. In the same way that Will’s influence in s3 (rain fight) pushed Mike to embrace his love for dnd again (end of s3, following), Will’s influence in s4 (painting) pushed Mike to embrace being the leader of the party again (s5). And not only is it always Will who gives Mike the courage to be himself, but being himself is also always tied to becoming more attentive and close to Will. You could say Dungeons and Dragons, leadership and Mike’s sexuality (and his love for Will) are the three horsemen of Mike’s character and they all meet in the painting reveal (Will uses dnd to illustrate and encourage Mike to embrace being the leader and to confess his love in an intimate moment between the two), meaning that Mike embracing one aspect entails him embracing another. For s5 this means Mike embracing his leadership qualities is tied to him embracing his sexuality, which the poster in the hallway at Hawkins Elementary School during the scene of Mike and Holly might hint at as well:

The poster shows a huge rainbow with the words “reach for the sky” and “do you have the qualities of a good leader?”, linking Mike’s leadership qualities and his homosexuality. This seems to support that due to Mike already embracing his leadership role, he’s also on his way to embracing his homosexuality. However, Mike reveals to Holly in this scene, that he’s scared. Scared of what is happening in Hawkins, and perhaps scared of embracing who he is. And that fear of letting his feelings show might be connected to the painting situation.

I personally believe that during the van scene, Mike understood that Will was using El as a cover up for himself (“I didn’t say it” - “You didn’t have to”), however, I also think that Will pushing Mike towards confessing his love to El made him doubtful/insecure about what Will actually feels for him.

Nevertheless, Mike’s behaviour in s5 seems to suggest that he still knows the sentiment was Will’s (although I doubt he knows Will has romantic feelings for him). There was a time skip of eighteen months in between s4 and s5 in which Mike could’ve brought up the painting to El, however, neither do we know whether that actually happened, nor does what we’ve seen of Mike and El so far suggest that they’ve really already talked about it. Mike and El’s very few interactions lack romantic undertones which might suggest that they’re broken up already, or on a break (they talk about “deserving a break” on the roof which might imply that their relationship is on a break, too) which makes sense with El’s attitude towards Mike at the end of s4. But their interactions are still friendly and emotional, making it seem unlikely that Mike’s sexuality has been brought up between them yet (if we can trust the vol.2 trailer, there is negative tension coming between them, which might suggest that Mike’s sexuality will still be revealed to El).

In addition to this, when Robin informs Will about romantic signals, explaining how Vickie’s signals towards her gradually became obvious, Will asks “how obvious?” implying that Mike is sending him signals, which I don’t think would be the case if Mike was fully convinced that everything Will said in the van came from El (and I don’t buy that he’s just accidentally sending signals). Furthermore, Mike doesn’t seem keen on discussing the painting with El at the end of s4, and bringing up the painting now at the current point of s5 doesn’t seem very likely. Of course, what the painting represents (the foreshadowing, its message about Will’s feelings and the moment the boys shared in the van) is still relevant, but having Mike bring up the painting to El after eighteen months in the middle of the final battle would be nonsensical.

Therefore, I personally believe that neither has Mike brought up the painting to El already, nor is he planning to, because he’s always known not to. Again, I think Mike understood Will in the van (to what degree is unclear, I doubt he knows Will is in love with him) and however the painting situation will be resolved, it will happen in a moment between just Mike and Will. As for Mike’s doubt about the entire situation, it seems to come from a place of fear, and uncertainty about how Will feels towards him, because Will is sending him mixed signals (in s4). In Mike’s s5 scene with Holly, however, he tells her that to combat his fear he simply imagines Mike the Brave being by his side, perhaps implying that in order for Mike’s arc to be successful, for him to not have any regrets, he needs to be brave and take the lead in his situation with Will (Will’s been insanely brave already, it’s Mike’s turn now).

Robin: “And that's when it hit me. It was never about Tone-deaf Tammy. It was always just about me. I was looking for answers in somebody else, but.. I had all the answers. I just needed to stop being so goddamn scared. Scared of... who I really was. Once I did that, oh, I felt so free. It's like I could fly, you know? Like, I could finally be…”

Will: “Rockin’ Robin.”

From Mike being concerned about El leaving him behind in s4 all the way back to him starting to seem romantically interested in El only after other characters have made their comments on it in s1, Mike Wheeler looking for answers in others, especially El, is a tale as old as time. Before any romantic undertone appears in scenes with Mike and El, Lucas is the one to suggest that he “loves” her which Mike rejects, just like Dustin’s comment about how he only wants to pay attention to El these days. Later it’s Nancy who asks Mike if he “likes” El to which he has an over-the-top negative reaction. This could’ve foreshadowed Mike simply feeling exposed about the fact that he really does like El, however, given the chance, he immediately suggests El to live with him like a sister and struggles to explain why he actually can’t be like a brother to her, his final reason being that you just can’t go to the Snow Ball with your sister (“I mean you can but I’d be really weird”). Mike’s “poor heart aches” when he finally does dance with El at the Snowball because he has just realized he has feelings for Will, but who else can make those feelings disappear if not El? Now El is the only thing Mike wants to pay attention to and when they break up he puts his entire faith in Lucas’ “expert” knowledge on love and girls to get El back because he doesn’t know any of it himself. Lucas calls him helpless and old people apparently say that “blank” makes you crazy because Mike is trying to get El to say “love” as he can’t. From Mike, from Mike, from Mike, from Mike, and when El begs for him to say he loves her he refuses to do so and calls it “a fight you can’t com back from”. He doesn’t know what to say to her or how to live without her but he does know that whatever’s going to happen, it’ll all be easier if him and Will are a team.

At dinner, Mike yells that he’s the only one that cares about Will, disobeys direct orders from Hopper to look for him, is the most devastated when Will “dies” and is overall the most emotionally involved in finding him. Mike is also the only one to stay awake for Will at the hospital. In s2 Mike always stays close to Will and makes sure he’s okay. He knows when he’s not feeling well, takes him home (his own home) to safety and suggests they’ll go crazy together. He sleeps on Will’s bedroom floor, instinctively takes his hand to reassure him and stays with him in the hospital. And not to forget, Mike tells Will that asking him to be his friend is the best thing he’s ever done! And even when Mike is pushing Will away, he bikes after him in the pouring rain to make sure he’s okay and later explains that he feels like he lost Will because he cared too much about El. Their friends are great but “it’s Hawkins, it’s not the same without you” because home doesn’t feel like home to Mike if Will’s not there. Mike believes Will has innate magic.

Mike is constantly listening to and consulting others when it comes to El and how he feels about her while loving Will has always come natural to him. It is the final nail in the coffin that once and for all shows that El is Mike’s Tammy, or rather that Mike and El are Tammy to each other. They’ve been looking for the answers in one another, when they’re always so insecure and unsure about their own opinions of the other (“I don’t know, I guess it’s not [different]”; “I don’t know, he’s my first boyfriend”) and their alleged love (“blank makes you crazy”; “from mike”; “a fight you can’t come back from”; “you think I’m a monster too”; “I keep telling myself that [she needs me], but I don’t believe it”) while simultaneously growing the most as people when they’re apart (El with Kali and Max; Mike with Will). However, it also leads us back to Mike knowing that he is gay and in love with Will, though still being scared to fully go for it even when he can’t contain it any longer, because it reflects why Robin’s words still resonated with Will and empowered him even though Mike is not like Tammy to him. Will was too insecure and ashamed to go for the love he wants. Mike makes Will feel like he’s “not a mistake at all, like [he’s] better for being different” which is beautiful, but Will needed to realize that he has to make himself feel that, too. Will was looking for happiness in Mike when he needed to look for it in himself first, and, applying the same principle to Mike, he’s holding back instead of just following his heart no matter what. So while the Tammy comparison has insightful implications for Mike and other characters and dynamics, and is not a one to one comparison that implies that Will has to move on from Mike, it still rings true for them in the sense that Will and Mike both need to listen to their hearts and find acceptance in themselves respectively to be happy because it’s only then that they can be brave enough to seize the love they long for, to reach for the sky, for each other.

Just like Will, Mike has all his answers already, he just needs to stop being so goddamn scared. Scared of… who he really is. Once he does that, oh, he’ll feel so free. It’ll be like he can fly, you know? Like, he can finally be…

#SamWeek2024 | day 4 | Mental Health Sam | 7.17