This time, baby, Iâll be bulletproof
How do you describe the moment you have dreamed about for 10+ years? The moment you visualized during each workout? The moment that kept you going, every time you got knocked down? I have lived this moment so many times in my head, yet I still donât know that I can descriptively do it justice.Â
So, I guess Iâll start from the beginning.Â
Saturday afternoon my coach made it into town and we met up with him after the elite technical meeting. After grabbing a quick bite to eat, we drove the course again. It was helpful for me to hear Bumber-isms about the course (use this downhill, be careful to run this tangent, have a nose for the finish line once youâre at the half).Â
After a late dinner, Dave and I headed back to the hotel to lay out all of my clothes/gear, and have my traditional pre-race beer. I have been drinking a beer the night before hard races/workouts since I was 19 21, so this beer is half superstition, half the fact that a beer makes me sleep like a baby and not think about the race. Now that Iâm much more fit than ever before, though, I may have to scale that down to 1/2 a beer, because I was DRUNK before I went to bed. Fortunately I have Dave to take care of me, because I even forgot to set my alarm for the next morning. oops.Â
Race morning was very relaxed. The finish line and elite hotel were in St. Paul, and the starting line was in Minneapolis. My marathon PR wasnât good enough to get me a free night or two in the elite hotel, so we stayed at a Marriott in Minneapolis (where we can use Daveâs free nights). The whole time leading up to Sunday, I was annoyed that we were staying in Minneapolis because I didnât want to miss out on anything that the other elites had access to. In the end, though, this worked out in my favor. At 6:00 AM when the other elites were being bussed over from St. Paul, I was just waking up. I got to sip a cup of tea and do a little facebooking (as I do every single morning) while the elites were told to sit in a holding area. When I was ready, around 7 AM, I just jogged over and met them.Â
Even during my warm up, I wasnât nervous. I started to get a few butterflies when the National Anthem was sung, but that was about it. I still knew at this point that I had a very solid plan, and if I stuck to my plan I would have a great day.Â
When the gun went off, I felt like I was jogging. The weather was a perfect 45 degrees. Spectators were going crazy. It was just a great day to run. My first mile was faster than what I had planned: 5:51. On Saturday, Bumber and I specifically talked about how this might be the case, and he thought it was best that I just roll if Iâm feeling good and not try too hard to micro-manage my pace. I tucked in with a small pack of 4-5 other people, and worked with them.Â
By the 5k, I had settled into a rhythm. I went through in 18:43, and right then and there, I knew this was going to be my day. I canât describe it, but I just knew.
That didnât mean my work was over, though. I still had 23.1 miles to go. To make it through any race, a good strategy is to break the race up into chunks, and only focus on one portion at a time. Originally, I was going to break the race up into five, 5 mile portions, and tackle one a time. I wound up having many more mental check points than that, which helped tremendously.Â
Checkpoint 1:Â 5 miles
At the 5 mile mark (30:00), I took my first gel (salted watermelon. YUM.) I was extremely fortunate to be granted elite fluids (not everyone was- I think it was based on PR). When youâre trying to drink 25 oz of liquids/hour while running a 6:00 mile, it can be tough to get enough fluids from a paper cup without either spilling it all over yourself, choking, or somehow getting the water up your nose. Having an elite fluid table also gives elites the opportunity to use the electrolytes they train with. I used watermelon flavored Nuun. Our elite tables were at miles 2.5, 5, 9, 11, 15, 17, 20.1, and 23. I placed Nuun at miles 2.5, 9, 15, and 20.1, and water at 5, 11, 17, and 23.Â
Taking my first gel was a relief, because it meant I had one less thing to carry with me. My competition shorts have one small zipper pocket on the hip that can only fit two gels, so my other two gels were placed in my shorts, next to my skin. I wound up with two nasty chafe marks where the corners of the packaging dug into my skin. I refuse to tape my gels to my elite water bottles, because you can never trust that something bad wonât happen. I completely missed two of my water bottles (never saw the table), and I dropped another bottle. That would have been a disaster, had those bottles had my gels attached.Â
Checkpoint 2:Â 10 miles
The early miles of the race go by quickly, so my checkpoints were a little bit long. I was 1:00:05 at 10 miles. Miles 5 - 10 went fast, because the crowd support was amazing. As one of the guys running in my pack said - it was electric. Those miles are a little bit hilly, with some really nice downhill portions. I felt like I was flying. I was still with my original pack of 4 people. There was another woman and a masterâs runner (they seemed to know each other), and then me and a guy who was wanting to run 2:40:00ish. The girl (Liz Northern) told me she was trying to break 2:40:00. I knew that, as long as I was feeling in control, I had to stay with these people. We had fun. One guy kept commenting how he enjoyed running with two women because the cheers were much louder with the two of us around. Since I was sitting on Liz, I offered to take control and let them sit on me for a few miles, but they said they were fine. I didnât want to be that girl, but she said she already OTQâd and that I could pace off of them.Â
Checkpoint 3:Â 11 miles
This was where I took my next gel (GU vanilla), so mile 10 was spent digging the gel out of my pocket, preparing it, and timing the consumption correctly so that I could get enough water to wash it down. I donât like to take the entire gel at once, but rather take it gradually over the course of a few minutes, which takes a little bit of planning. I somehow missed my water bottle here, so I was only able to grab a couple quick sips of water from the cups that were offered.
Checkpoint 4:Â 13.1 miles
I went through the half at 1:18:15. At this point, I knew without a doubt that I was going to run in the Olympic Trials, and I had to do my best to make sure nothing dumb happened in the next half. Even though I was on pace for the A standard (2:37:00), I didnât think about it or push myself to try and force it to happen. My biggest concern was just finishing the race healthy, and not having a situation where Iâm forced to walk the last 5 miles and possibly miss the cut off. I saw Dave here, and just smiled. I saw 1:18:05 when I went through, so I thought I had an official PR, which gave me a little boost.Â
Checkpoint 4:Â 15 miles
I came through 15 in 1:29:55, just a hair under 6:00 pace. I think it was here that I understood just how much time I was banking. Per my plan, I was supposed to come through 15 in 1:32:30. I still felt good, so I decided to let it keep rolling.Â
Checkpoint 5:Â 17 miles
This was when I took my next gel (another salted watermelon). Miles 16 - 19 were where I struggled most. There were few spectators, and while I wasnât hurting, I was starting to feel the struggle. In previous marathons, I have reached this point and physically shut down completely, unable to move faster than a 7:00 mile. I was beginning to do calculations and let the âwhat ifâ thoughts creep into my head. But, a theme of my weekend has been âline in the sand.â I am tired of missing my goals, missing my opportunities, and reframing negative experiences into positive ones (âwell, considering x, Iâm really happy with yâ). Taking note out of something I read about Joan Benoit Samuelson recently, I asked myself Saturday night Am I ready to be this good? and the answer is yes. No more tough luck. No more excuses. Around mile 17 I reminded myself: you are on a World Championship team. Run like it.
Checkpoint 6:Â 20 miles
From 20 to just past 23, there is 200 ft of elevation change. Â 20 miles was my checkpoint for three reasons: Â one, because that was part of my original 5-mile segment goal, two, because this is where the hills are, and three, because this is where the race starts. Â A marathon truly is a 10k race with a 20 mile warm up. Â I knew that if I was in contention for anything, the hilly portion was going to be where I made a move. Â Yesterday I have never felt stronger. Â My legs were devouring the hills like they were a 0.1 incline on a treadmill.Â
Checkpoint 7:Â 22 miles
Final gel! I really needed my elite water here to wash it down, because this one tasted particularly sweet. Sadly, I knocked my bottle right off the table when I went to grab it. Fortunately, this was also a water stop for everyone else, so I was able to grab 2 or 3 water cups and wash it down, but dropping my personal bottle was a huge bummer. (sidenote: I think the volunteers are way more bummed/concerned when this happens than the runner. After I dropped the bottle, there was a collective gasp and chatter about what to do).Â
Checkpoint 8:Â 23 miles
At 23, the hills would be over, so I just focused on running from 22 - 23. Altogether, I passed 1 woman and a few men during miles 20 - 23, but I was getting really freaking ready to be done with the race. Dave and I ran miles 21 - 24 on Friday, and then miles 20 - 22 on Saturday, and I think this really helped me be tough during that section.Â
Checkpoint 9:Â 24 miles
After I finished the hill, I focused on getting to mile 24, because I knew thatâs where Oiselle was cheering, and I knew seeing them would give me a boost. Those ladies were AWESOME. I saw someone run onto the course, screaming my name, and I really couldnât help but break down laughing.Â
Here I am at mile 24, photo taken by Oiselle teammate Megan HIll. I really wish my temporary Oiselle tattoo was on my left leg, instead of my right! I
Checkpoint 10:Â 25 miles
I knew that 25 - 26.2 was FAST and downhill, so I knew if I could just make it to this point, my legs would have a break and I could fly. At 25, I saw my coach, I looked at my watch, and I lost it. I had something like 12:00 to run 1.2 miles. It was going to happen. As I was running the last 400 m with stands of people on either side, and I was watching the clock, which still hadnât even hit 2:39:00, I was all-out ugly crying. Fortunately I had sunglasses on.Â
The finish
My official finish time was 2:38:39, and I was the 6th female, 30th overall. At the finish, a USATF Atlanta woman scooped me up. I was standing there, sobbing.. It felt exactly the way I dreamed it would. She hugged me while I cried, and Ryan Hogan, the elite coordinator from the last marathon I ran (Pittsburgh), took the now-infamous picture. After you finish a marathon, there is no filter on the things you say. You just talk. Or cry. Or mumble. Or babble. As I was crying, I was finding myself telling the USATF angel (I have no idea what her name is) that I quit my job, was struggling to get by, that on paper it was a dumb decision but in my heart I knew what I was capable of, and that I just wanted to say fuck you to everyone who didnât believe in me lol. She told me that her husband passed away 19 days ago, and that being here to hug all the crying runners who had a good race, or a bad race, or didnât get to race was therapeutic. I wish I knew her name, because I would love to send her a card. She paraded me around the elite area, and told everyone she saw that I qualified for LA. She shared in all my excitement.Â
Photo taken by Ryan Hogan, P3R elite coordinator
The aftermath
Holy social media batman! Dave was tweeting for me after the race, and we finally had to turn his phone off because of all the crazy noises the phone was making! Oiselle teammates/fans: YOU GUYS ROCK. To receive so many messages of how inspiring you found my race really means a lot to me. This has been a very long journey for me, and to know that I was never alone is amazing. I really think I was the most supported runner out there today. I thought of everyone who was tracking me every time I crossed a timing mat and couldnât help but smile. When I logged onto the computer a few hours later, I had 30 friend requests, a ton of messages, and something like 80 posts. That number has just gotten larger since the race (right now, my facebook tab is open and I have 27 notifications. what??). Iâm trying my best to reply to everyone, but if I miss you, it is certainly not on purpose!Â
Whatâs next?
First order of business is to recover. This is the best my legs have ever felt after a marathon, but my right hip flexor and hamstring definitely took a beating. Iâm supposed to do a two mile shake out today, and then take the next two days off and reassess Wednesday night. People are asking whether I still want to run Worldâs, and the answer is yes. My marathon time was the 23rd fastest run in the country this year, which is insanity. Since my full-time job is running right now, I have a good opportunity to focus on fully recovering from this marathon, then fully recovering from Worldâs, and being totally prepared for the Trials. I believe in taking every opportunity offered, so Worldâs is something I donât want to miss!Â
I also need to reassess how to fund myself through February. I think Iâve exhausted the gofundme, but I have received a lot of inquiries about coaching lately, which would certainly help! If anyone has any creative ideas, please let me know!Â
Finally...
I like to end all of my race reports/reviews with a good/bad/and ugly from the day, so if youâve made it this far and are still reading, here it is!Â
The good: I had a great race plan, but I didnât let myself be constrained by it, either. When I realized I was having a good day, I rolled with it, and it paid off. I know I can run faster, because there was definitely a level of steady tempo vs. attack that happened the last 10 miles, especially once my hamstring started to tighten up. The last thing I needed to do was to get hurt and not finish. Also, I RAN IN A PACK! I have never considered myself good at pack running, but it was necessary today! and I did it!Â
The bad: I have very little to say here :) I definitely need to get better at running tangents. There were tons of turns, curves, and s-curves on the course, and I donât think I was effective in taking them properly. My GPS (which tends to be quite accurate) had my final distance at 26.92. Now...I donât think itâs possible that I ran an extra 1200 m (right? I mean, thatâs not possible, is it?) but the course is EXTREMELY winding, so Iâm sure I ran at least a few extra steps than necessary.Â
The ugly: The ugly cry. It happened. There is photographic evidence. SO GLAD I WAS WEARING SUNGLASSES.
I have so, so many people to thank, that this should really be a blog post in itself
My family
I have the most supportive family out there. I am so fortunate that I come from a very strong line of entrepreneurs, who understand that doing what is in your heart is the best choice you. So many people have asked me what my family thinks, and if they are disappointed that I took time off from school or that Iâm not working. I laugh. They would stand behind me 100% no matter what I was doing, and I take for granted sometimes that not everyone is so lucky. Once I finished crying, I called my mom, who started crying, which made me cry all over again. It sounds like there were a lot of Anna-fans who were ugly crying :)
My Coach
Bumber has had a rough few years, so I wasnât sure he would be up to the challenge of helping me out when I asked. He jumped at the chance, and I think we struck a really great balance of communicating through text, email, and the occasional phone call. Just having someone who knows you and what youâre capable of to be able to critique your workouts is so helpful. In May, after Pittsburgh, he told me that with proper training, he thought 2:38 was reasonable. I thought that was a stretch, but heâs never steered me wrong! A few weeks ago, he told me he thought I would run anywhere between 2:35 and 2:38. Iâm excited to get faster.Â
My nutritionist
Jackie Dikos completely changed the way I look at nutrition and hydration during training and races, and also helped me realize the most important discovery about myself in the past 27 years: I canât freaking eat 90% of the stuff I eat everyday. Hands down, seeing her was the best life choice I have made!
My sports psychologist
Coach Dean demystified racing for me. Once he helped me realize the confidence that I lacked and how to look at races from a different perspective, my training and racing performances skyrocketed.Â
My massage therapist
Melody has kept me healthy the last 3 months, and I do not think I could have gotten to the starting line without her help. Sheâs also great to talk to, and I love hearing her perspective on running during my treatment!Â
Oiselle
Joining the ambassador program has been amazing. The company itself, as well as fellow ambassadors and elite team members, have supported my dreams beyond belief. The Oiselle sisterhood is so encouraging and uplifting, and I know that wherever I go, I just need to look for birds and they will welcome me with open arms. Iâm really excited for my next step with the brand.Â
Molly Friel (Oiselle teammate and USATF masterâs runner up) and me post race. Note the coffee as a reward to myself :)
My friends/followers
Wow. You guys have been my biggest cheerleaders, and I canât thank you enough. I put myself completely out in the open, vulnerable, and you accepted and encouraged me every step of the way.  Some of you have been encouraging me since I first started running, some of you I have only met recently. All the texts/emails/messages/smoke signals I received yesterday was unreal. Knowing that many of you spent your Sunday mornings tracking a 2.5 hour race made me feel so loved, and Iâm so happy you were all right there to join my excitement and celebration.Â