Furthermore the intensity of it

The all consuming slow building inferno inching it's way outward

I almost give in

Almost ready to lose all inhibition and get your attention

As it is , my defense mechanism shines through

And I find myself crouched within myself as if I could just not be anymore

Disappear

Then letting the tentacles of longing imbibe all my nerve endings

I clutch myself and cry

The tears calling out to some sort of sorcery perhaps

Willing this need to pass

Wishing I could be a normal person and deal with emotional distress rationally

I know I don't say it enough

But God do I love you

I wish I had the courage to own up

To all I am and all that I feel

I have been living in a shadow

For far too long and shutting any

Emotions of love and gratitude

I pray this festive season

To bring me prosperity

Not just in my pockets

But in mind and in my heart too

May I be blessed

And maybe

Then maybe

I will be saved

Between the dilemma of buying or diying a vase

It all dried up

Hubris

But With no menace

Rather a little sweetness

Left behind.

Time to let it go

As swiftly as it bloomed

Between the dilemma of buying or DIYing a vase

It all dried up

Hubris

But With no menace

Rather a little sweetness

Left behind.

-atimsur.a